at length, in sheer despair, thought he "would just try a lizard.”

"Pray do so," eagerly returned Hook, "you will find the flavour a little peculiar at first I daresay; but it is astonishing how soon it becomes pleasant to the palate."

But however rapidly a taste for the saurian delicacy might be acquired, the adventurous individual in question was not destined to make

the experiment. In endeavouring to help himself to one of those unpromising dainties, the tail became separated from its body-it was too much for his nerve-turning a little pale he pushed aside his plate and begged to be excused. Since the celebrated "feast after the manner of the ancients," such a collation had never been put down before hungry men: the jest, however,

was not pushed to extremes, a second course succeeded; and, on the choice viands of which it consisted, the guests proceeded to fall to with what appetite they might.

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THERE is an end to all things, even to Upper Wimpole Street, Theodore Hook is reported to have said when on his death-bed.

ON one occasion, when Hook had been asked to go to the piano and extemporise, the subject which was given to him was "the Jews." He sat down and immediately rattled off all sorts of humorous nonsense, cleverly winding up with

I dare say you think there's little wit
In this, but you've all forgot
That instead of being a Jew d'esprit
'Tis only a Jew de mot.

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MR HUME, M.P. was a favourite butt for

the shafts of Hook's wit. Certain lines from Horace were taken, each containing some form of the word humus or its cognates-were converted by ingenious translation into so many

prophetic allusions to the history of the indefatigable Member.

"Ex Humili potens-From a surgeon to a Member of Parliament."

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Ne quis Hum-asse velit-Let no one call Hume an ass.'

"Humili modo loqui-To talk Scotch like Hume."

"Humi procumbit Bos-Bull falls foul of Hume."*

Finally Hook suggested as a motto for the M. P.-" Graiis expers catenis—I have got rid of my Greek bonds."

THEODORE HOOK once defined contingencies as "things that never happen."

THE following song is a wonderful example of Hook's improvisatorial powers; according to his biographer "it was nearly all improvised one evening by Hook." Each character, we are told, is a portrait :

Miss Elizabeth Bull of good sense was as full
As any young lady need be;

I'll tell you a tale of her Uncle, old Bull,

And of her, as she told it to me.

* Alluding to John Bull, in whose columns many of Hook's witticisms at the expense of Hume appeared.

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I'm an heiress, she said, to a wildish estate,
Which very productive might be ;

But 'twas going to rack at a terrible rate,
And I thought there'd be nothing for me.

I just dropped a hint of impeachment for waste, Unless Uncle Bull would agree

To get better Stewards; when, lo! in great haste, The old ones came courting to me.

With one tooth in his head, and ten jobs in his eye And "his garter below his knee":

The first thought my passions and feelings to try By a pledge that he 'd stand by me.

Twas he who once said "by his order he 'd stand,"
Yet for dinners with Alderman Key,

And a small penny cup from a sad dirty hand,
Broke that pledge as he 'd break one to me.

Go! I cried, and if ever you speak to a Peer,
Let your key be a minor key;

The man who his Order gave up for a cheer,
Is no man for a lady like me.

The next who appeared was "a candid man,"
Who admitted he did not see

That two five-pound notes would make sovereigns ten,

If one, would give five pounds to me.

He stammered much stuff about stock and the stocks,

Tithes, factories, and niggers, and tea;

But I found he was only a judge of an ox,
So I told him he should never lead me.

With his hand to his head, and a tear in his eye,
Came the nigger's late Massa Grandee,
With razors, and shoes, and with millinery,
He had filched from those niggers for me.

Oh! how from a man by such presents endear'd, In my heart could I find it to flee?

He who tried to shave niggers, who haven't a beard Might next, perhaps, try to shave me.

The next one who came owed nature a spite,
For a poor younger son was he;

His body was parched by a with`ring blight,
But his mind seemed more blighted to me.