and I go bootless home:—and I fear I shall go bootless all my life.—Adieu, gentlest and best of souls,―adieu. I am yours, most affectionately, L. STERNE from the moment I dismissed my doctors, | my chaise stands at my door, to take and my pains began to rage with a violence not convey this poor body to its legal settlement. to be expressed, or supported. Every hour-I am ill, very ill;—I languish most affect became more intolerable.—I was got to bed, ingly.—I am sick both soul and body.-It cried out, and raved the whole night, and is a cordial to me to hear it is different with was got up so near dead, that my friends you;-no man interests himself more in insisted upon my sending again for my phy- your happiness; and I am glad you are in so sician and surgeon. I told them, upon the fair a road to it :-enjoy it long, my Dword of a man of honor, they were both whilst I—no matter what,—but my feelings mistaken as to my case;-but, though they are too nice for the world I live in :-things had reasoned wrong, they might act right: will mend.—I dined yesterday with Lord but that, sharp as my sufferings were, I felt and Lady S―: we talked much of you them not so sharp as the imputation which and your goings on; for every one knows a venereal treatment of my case laid me why Sunbury Hill is so pleasant a situation! under. They answered, that these taints -You rogue! you have lock'd up my boots, of the blood lie dormant twenty years; but they would not reason with me in a point wherein I was so delicate, but would do all the offices for which they were called in, namely to put an end to my torment, which otherwise would put an end to me;-and so I have been compelled to surrender myself: -and thus, my dear Lord, has your poor friend, with all his sensibilities, been suffering the chastisement of the grossest sensualist!-Was it not as ridiculous an embarrassment as ever Yorick's spirit was involved in?—Nothing but the purest con- I HAVE got conveyed thus far, like a bale science of innocence could have tempted of cadaverous goods, consigned to Pluto and me to write this story to my wife, which, company,-lying in the bottom of my chaise by the bye, would make no bad anecdote in most of the route, upon a large pillow, which Tristram Shandy's Life.-I have mentioned I had the prevoyance to purchase before I it in my journal to Mrs. In some re-set out.-I am worn out ;-but press on to spects, there is no difference between my Barnby Moor to-night, and, if possible, to wife and herself:-when they fare alike, York the next.-I know not what is the neither can reasonably complain.-I have matter with me, - but some derangement just received letters from France, with some presses hard upon this machine:-still, I hints that Mrs. Sterne and my Lydia are think, it will not be overset this bout.-My coming to England, to pay me a visit.—If love to G. We shall all meet from the your time is not better employed, Yorick east, and from the south, and (as at the last) flatters himself he shall receive a letter be happy together. My kind respects to a from your Lordship, en attendant.-I am, few.-I am, dear Hwith the greatest regard, my Lord, Your Lordship's Most faithful humble servant, LETTER XCVI. TO JHS, ESQ. Ten o'clock in the morn MY DEAR COUSIN, Truly yours, L. STERNE I HAD not been many days at this peace I was going, my dear D―n, to bed be- ful cottage before your letter greeted me fore I received your kind inquiry; and now with the seal of friendship: and most cor dially do I thank you for so kind a proof of dian, and has this post sent a letter of inyour good-will. I was truly anxious to quiries after Yorick and his Bramin. He hear of the recovery of my sentimental is a good soul, and interests himself much friend,—but I would not write to inquire in our fate.—I cannot forgive you, L-e, after her, unless I could have sent her the for your folly in saying you intend to get testimony without the tax; even how d'yes introduced to the I despise them; to invalids, or those that have lately been and I shall hold your understanding much so, either call to mind what is past or what cheaper than I now do, if you persist in a may return; at least I find it so. I am as resolution so unworthy of you.-I suppose happy as a prince, at Coxwould; and I wish Mrs. J telling you they were sensible, you could see in how princely a manner I is the groundwork you go upon. By live: 'tis a land of plenty. I sit down alone they are not clever; though what is comto venison, fish, and wild fowl, or a couple monly called wit, may pass for literature on of fowls or ducks, with curds, and straw- the other side of Temple-Bar.-You say berries, and cream, and all the simple Mrs. J thinks them amiable: she plenty which a rich valley (under Hamil- judges too favorably: but I have put a stop ton Hills) can produce; with a clean cloth to her intentions of visiting them. They on my table, and a bottle of wine on my are bitter enemies of mine; and I am even right hand to drink your health. I have a with them. La Bramine assured me they hundred hens and chickens about my yard, used their endeavors with her to break off and not a parishioner catches a hare, or a her friendship with me, for reasons I will rabbit, or a trout, but he brings it as an not write, but tell you.—I said enough of offering to me. If solitude would cure a them before she left England; and though love-sick heart, I would give you an invi- she yielded to me in every other point, yet tation; but absence and time lessen no in this she obstinately persisted.-Strange attachment which virtue inspires. I am in infatuation!-but I think I have effected high spirits; care never enters this cottage. my purpose by a falsity, which Yorick's -I take the air every day in my post-chaise, friendship to the Bramine can only justify. with two long-tailed horses,—they turn out —I wrote her word that the most amiable good ones; and as to myself, I think I am of women reiterated my request, that she better upon the whole for the medicines would not write to them. I said, too, she had concealed many things for the sake of her peace of mind, when, in fact, L, this was merely a child of my own brain, made Mrs. J's by adoption, to enforce the argument I had before urged so strongly. -Do not mention this circumstance to Mrs. J; 'twould displease her; and I had no design in it but for the Bramine to be a friend to herself.-I ought now to be busy from sun-rise to sun-set, for I have a book to write,-a wife to receive,—an estate to sell,-a parish to superintend,—and, what is worst of all, a disquieted heart to reason I AM in still better health, my dear Le, with: these are continual calls upon me.— than when I wrote last to you, owing I be- I have received half a dozen letters to press lieve to my riding out every day with my me to join my friends at Scarborough, but friend H————, whose castle lies near the I am at present deaf to them all. I perhaps sea; and there is a beach as even as a may pass a few days there something later mirror, of five miles in length, before it, in the season, not at present;—and so, dear where we daily run races in our chaises, L, adieu. with one wheel in the sea, and the other on land. D has obtained his fair In and regimen I submitted to in town.-May the other! Yours, truly, LETTER XCVIII. TO THE SAME. L. STERNE. Coxwould, June 30, 1767. I am most cordially yours, L. STERNE LETTER XCIX. TO IGNATIUS SANCHO. Coxwould, June 30, 1767. ness to me, I must ever be their debtor. never can thank you enough, my dear friends, and yet I thank you from my soul; and for the single day's happiness your goodness I MUST acknowledge the courtesy of my would have sent me, I wish I could send good friend Sancho's letter, were I ten you back thousands:-I cannot, but they times busier than I am; and must thank will come of themselves; and so God bless him too for the many expressions of his you.-I have had twenty times my pen in good-will and good opinion:-'tis all affec- my hand since I came down, to write a lettation to say a man is not gratified with ter to you both in Gerrard-street; but I am a being praised; we only want it to be sin- shy kind of a soul at the bottom, and have a cere: and then it will be taken, Sancho, as jealousy about troubling my friends,-espekindly as yours. I left town very poorly, cially about myself. I am now got perfectly and with an idea I was taking leave of it well; but was, a month after my arrival in for ever; but good air, a quiet retreat, and the country, in but a poor state: my body quiet reflections along with it, with an ass has got the start, and is at present more at to milk, and another to ride upon (if I choose ease than my mind;-but this world is a it), all together do wonders. I shall live school of trials, and so Heaven's will be this year at least, I hope, be it but to give done!-I hope that you have enjoyed all the world, before I quit it, as good impres- that I have wanted; and to complete your sions of me, as you have, Sancho. I would joy, that your little lady flourishes like a only covenant for just so much health and vine at your table; to which I hope to see spirits as are sufficient to carry my pen her preferred by next winter.-I am now through the task I have set it this summer. beginning to be truly busy at my SentiBut I am a resigned being, Sancho, and take health and sickness as I do light and darkness, or the vicissitudes of seasons; that is, just as it pleases God to send them, and accommodate myself to their periodical What can I send you that Yorkshire proreturns as well as I can; only taking care, duces? Tell me; I want to be of use to whatever befalls me in this silly world, not you, for I am, my dear friends, with the to lose my temper at it. This I believe, truest value and esteem, friend Sancho, to be the truest philosophy; for this we must be indebted to ourselves, but not to our fortunes. Farewell.-I hope you will not forget your custom of giving me a call at my lodgings next winter. In the mean time, I am, very cordially, My honest friend Sancho, Yours, LETTER C. TO MR. AND MRS. J L. STERNE. Coxwould, July 6, 1767. mental Journey;-the pains and sorrows of this life having retarded its progress; but I shall make up my lee-way, and overtake every body in a very short time. Your ever obliged LETTER CI. L. STERNE TO MR. PANCHAUD, AT PARIS. York, July 20, 1767. MY DEAR PANCHAUD, BE so kind as to forward what letters are arrived for Mrs. Sterne, at your office, by to-day's post, or the next; and she will receive them before she quits Avignon, for England. She wants to lay out a little money in an annuity for her daughter:— advise her to get her life insured in London, lest my Lydia should die before her.—If there are any packets, send them with the Ir is with as much true gratitude as ever heart felt, that I sit down to thank my dear friends, Mr. and Mrs. J, for the continu- ninth volume* of Shandy; which she has ation of their attention to me; but for this last instance of their humanity and polite * Alluding to the first edition. failed of getting. She says, she has drawn dear girl are coming to pay me a visit for a for fifty Louis. When she leaves Paris, few months:--I wish I may prevail with send by her my account.-Have you got me them to tarry longer.-You must permit any French subscriptions? or subscriptions me, dear Mrs. J., to make my Lydia known in France?-Present my kindest service to to you, if I can prevail with my wife to Miss P. I know, her politeness and good- come and spend a little time in London, as nature will incline her to give Mrs. J. her she returns to France. I expect a small advice about what she may venture to bring parcel:may I trouble you, before you over. I hope every thing goes on well, write next, to send to my lodgings to ask if though never half so well as I wish.-God there is any thing directed to me that you prosper you, my dear friend!-Believe me can inclose under cover?-I have but one most warmly excuse for this freedom, which I am prompted to use, from a persuasion that it is doing you pleasure to give you an opportunity of doing an obliging thing;-and, as to myself, I rest satisfied; for 'tis only scoring up another debt of thanks to the millions I owe you both already.-Receive a thousand and a thousand thanks! yes, and with them ten thousand friendly wishes for all you wish in this world!-May my friend Mr. J. continue blessed with good health! and may his good Lady get perfectly well! there being no woman's health or comfort I so ardently pray for.-Adieu, my dear friends. — Believe me most truly and faithfully yours, Yours, L. STERNE. The sooner you send me the gold snuff box, the better:-'tis a present from my best friend. LETTER CII. TO MR. AND MRS. J. L. STERNE. Coxwould, Aug. 2, 1767. My dear friends, Mr. and Mrs. J—, are infinitely kind to me, in sending now and then a letter to inquire after me; and to acquaint me how they are. -You cannot P. S. In Eliza's last letter, dated from conceive, my dear Lady, how truly I bear a St. Jago, she tells me, as she does you, part in your illness.-I wish Mr. J- would that she is extremely ill. God protect carry you to the south of France, in pur- her!- By this time surely she has set suit of health-but why need I wish it, foot upon dry land at Madras.-I heartily when I know his affection will make him wish her well; and if Yorick was with her, do that and ten times as much, to prevent he would tell her so;-but he is cut off from a return of those symptoms which alarmed this by bodily absence:-I am present with him so much in the spring?-Your polite- her in spirit, however—but what is that? ness and humanity are always contriving to you will say. LETTER CIII. ESQ. Coxwould, August 11, 1767. TO JHS treat me agreeably; and what you promise next winter, will be perfectly so:- -but you must get well; and your little dear girl must be of the party, with her parents and friends, to give it a relish.-I am sure you show no partiality but what is natural and praiseworthy, in behalf of your daughter; but I wonder my friends will not find her MY DEAR H. a play-fellow and I both hope and advise I AM glad all has passed with so much them not to venture along, through this amity, inter te et filium Marcun tuum, warfare of life, without two strings at least and that Madame has found grace in thy to their bow. I had letters from France by sight.-All is well that ends well;—and so last night's post; by which (by some fatality) much for moralizing upon it. I wish you I find not one of my letters has reached could or would take up your parable, and Mrs. Sterne. This gives me concern, as it prophesy as much good concerning me and wears the aspect of unkindness, which she my affairs.-Not one of my letters has got by no means merits from me.-My wife and to Mrs. Sterne since the notification of her LETTER CIV. TO MR. AND MRS. J. Coxwould, Aug. 13, 1767. MY DEAR FRIENDS, intentions; which has a pitiful air on my side, though I have wrote her six or seven. -I imagine she will be here the latter end of September; though I have no date for it but her impatience ;-which, having suffered by my supposed silence, I am persuaded will make her fear the worst ;-if that is the I BUT Copy your great civility to me in case, she will fly to England :-a most natu- writing you word, that I have this moment ral conclusion.-You did well to discontinue received another letter, wrote eighteen all commerce with James's powders, as days after the date of the last, from St you are so well; rejoice, therefore, and let Jago.-If our poor friend could have wrote your heart be merry; mine ought upon the another letter to England, you would, in same score; for I never have been so well course, have had it; but, I fear, from the since I left college; and should be a marvel- circumstances of great hurry and bodily lous happy man, but for some reflections disorder in which she was when she diswhich bow down my spirits; but if I live patched this, she might not have time.-In but even three or four years, I will acquit case it has so fallen out, I send you the conmyself with honor; and, no matter, we will tents of what I have received:-and that talk this over when we meet.-If all ends is a melancholy history of herself and sufas temperately as with you, and that I find ferings since they left St. Jago;-continual grace, &c. &c., I will come and sing Te and most violent rheumatism all the time; Deum, or drink poculum elevatum, or do -a fever, brought on with fits, and attended any thing with you in the world.—I should with delirium, and every terrifying sympdepend upon G-'s critic upon my head, as tom:-the recovery from this left her low much as Moliere's old woman upon his and emaciated to a skeleton.-I give you comedies. When you do not want her so- the pain of this detail with a bleeding heart, ciety, let it be carried into your bed-cham- knowing how much, at the same time, it ber to flay her, or clap it upon her bum, will affect yours.-The three or four last to- and give her my blessing as you days of our journal leave us with hopes she do it. will do well at last, for she is more cheerMy postilion has set me aground for a week, ful,-and seems to be getting into better by one of my pistols bursting in his hand; spirits; and health will follow in course. which he taking for granted to be quite shot They have crossed the Line:-are much off,-he instantly fell upon his knees, and becalmed; by which, with other delays, she said (Our Father, which art in Heaven, hal- fears they will lose their passage to Madlowed be thy Name); at which like a good ras,-and be some months sooner for it at Christian he stopped, not remembering any Bombay.-Heaven protect her! for she sufmore of it. The affair was not so bad as he fers much, and with uncommon fortitude.— at first thought; for it has only bursten two She writes much to me about her dear of his fingers, he says.-I long to return to friend Mrs. J, in her last packet.-In you; but I sit here alone as solitary and sad truth, my good Lady, she loves and honors as a Tom-cat; which, by the bye, is all the you from her heart; but, if she did not, I company I keep: -he follows me from should not esteem her, or wish her so well the parlor to the kitchen, into the gar- as I do. - Adieu, my dear friends:-you den, and every place. I wish I had a have few in the world more truly and cordog;-my daughter will bring me one;-dially and so God be about you, and strengthen your faith.—I am affectionately, dear cou sin, yours, L. STERNE. Yours, L. STERNE P. S. I have just received, as a present from a man I shall ever love, a most elegant My service to the C- -s, though they gold snuff-box, fabricated for me at Paris; are from home; and to Panty. -'tis not the first pledge I have received |
