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Sir To. Why, let her except, before excepted.
Mar. Ay, but you must confine yourself within the modeft limits of order.
Sir To. Confine ? I'll confine myself no finer than I am; these cloaths are good enough to drink in, and so be these boots too.; an they be not, let them hang themselves in their own straps.
Mar. That quaffing and drinking will undo you ; I heard my lady talk of it yesterday, and of a foolish Knight that you brought in one night here, to be her
Sir To. Who, Sir Andrew Ague-cheek?
Mar. Ay, but he'll have but a year in all these ducats : he's a very fool, and a prodigal.
Sir To. Fie, that you'll say so! he plays o'th' viol. degambo, and speaks three or four languages word for word without book, and hath all the good gifts of nature.
Mar. He hath, indeed, - almost natural; for besides that he's a fool, he's a great quarreller ; and but that he hath the gift of a coward to allay the gust he hath in quarrelling, 'tis thought among the prudent, he would quickly have the gift of a grave.
Sir Tob. By this hand, they are scoundrels and subtractors that say so of him. Who are they?
Mar. They that add moreover, he's drunk nightly in your company
Sir To. With drinking healths to my neice : I'll drink to her as long as there's a passage in my throat, and drink in Illyria. He's a coward, and a coystril, that will not drink to my neice 'till his brains turn o'th' toe like a parish-top. What, wench? Caftiliano vulgo i for here comes Sir Andrew Ague-cheek.
Enter Sir Andrew. Sir And. Sir Toby Belch! how now, Sir Toby Belch? Sir To. Sweet Sir Andrew! Sir And. Bless you, fair shrew. Mar. And you too, Sir. Sir To. Accoft, Sir Andrew, accoft. Sir And, What's that? Sir To. My neice's chamber-maid.
Sir And. Good mistress Accoft, I desire better acquaintance.
Mar. My name is Mary, Sir.
Sir To. You miftake, Knight: accoft, is, front her, board her, wooe her, assail her.
Sir And. By, my troth, I would not undertake her in this company. Is that the meaning of accost?
Mar. Fare you well, gentlemen.
Sir To. An thou let her part so, Sir Andrew, would thou might'st never draw fword again.
Sir And An you part fo, mistress, I would I might never draw sword again. Fair lady, do you think, you have fools in hand ?
Mar. Sir, I have not you by th' hand.
Sir And. Marry, but you shall have, and here's my hand.
Mar. Now, Sir, thought is free : I pray you, bring your hand to th' buttery-bar, and let it drink.
Sir And. Wherefore, sweet heart? what's your me. taphors Mar. It's dry, Sir.
Sir And. Why, I think fo: I am not such an ass, but I can keep my hand dry. But what's your jest?
Mar. A dry jeft, Sir.
Mar. Ay, Sir, I have them at my finger's ends : marry, now I let
I am barren.
[Exit Maria. Sir To. O Knight, thou lack'it a cup of canary : when did I see thee so put down?
Sir And. Never in your life, I think, unless you fee canary put me down : methinks, sometimes I have no more wit than a christian, or an ordinary man has; buc I am a great eater of beef, and, I believe, that does harm to my wit. • Sir To. No question.
Sir And. An I thought that, I'd forswear it. I'll ride home to-morrow, Sir Toby.
Sir To. Pourquoy, my dear Knight? Sir And. What is pourquoy? do, or not do? I would, I had bestowed that time in the tongues that I have in fencing, dancing, and bear-baiting. (2) O, had I but follow'd the arts !
Sir To. Then hadft thou had an excellent head of hair.
Sir And. Why, would that have mended my hair?
Sir To. Paft question ; for thou feeft, it will not curt by nature.
Sir And. But it becomes me well enough, does't not }
Sir To. Excellent! it hangs like flax on a distaff; and I hope to see a house-wife take thee between her legs, and spin it off.
(2) Sir And.
-0, had I bust follow'd the Arts! Sir To. Then hadft thou had an excellent Head of Hair. Sir And. Why, would that have mended my Hair ?
Sir To. Paft Question ; for thou seeft it will not cool my Nature.). Prodigious Sagacity! and yet thus it has pass'd down thro' all the printed Copies. We cannot enough admire that happy Indolence of Mr. Pope, which can acquiesce in transmitting to us such Stuff for genuine Sense and Argument. The Dialogue is of a very light Strain, 'tis certain, betwixt two foolish Knights : but yer I would be glad to know, methinks, what Sir Andrew's following the Arts, or his Hair being mended, could have to do with the cooling, or not cooling, Sir Toby's Na. ture. But my Emendation clears up all this Absurdity: And the context is an unexceptionable Confirmation.
Sir And. But it becomes me well enough, does't not?
Sir And. Faith, I'll home to-morrow, Sir Toby; your neice will not be seen, or, if she be, it's four to one she'llnone of me: the Duke himself here, hard by, wooes her.
Sir To. She'll none o'th' Duke, she'll not match above her degree, neither in estate, years, nor wit ; I have heard her swear it. Tut, there's life in't, man.
Sir And: I'll stay a month longer. I am a fellow of th' ftrangelt mind i th' world: I delight in masks and revels sometimes altogether.
Sir To Art thou good at these kick-laws, Knight? : Sir And. As any man in Illyria, whatsoever he be, under the degree of my betters ; and yet I will not compare with an old man.
Sir To. What is thy excellence in a galliard, Knight?
Sir And. And, I think, I have the back-trick, fimpły, as strong as any man in Illyria.
Sir To. Wherefore are these things hid ? wherefore have these gifts a curtain before them ? are they like to take duft, like mistress Malls picture i why doft thou not go to church in a galliard, and come home in a coranto? my very walk should be a jig! I would not so much as make water, but in a sink-a-pace : what doft thou mean? is it a world to hide virtues in ? I did think, by the excellent constitution of thy leg, it was form'd under the itar of a galliard.
Sir And. Ay, 'tis strong, and it does indifferent welky in a ffame-colour'd stocking. Shall we set about fome revels ?
Sir To. What shall we do elfe ? were we not born un. der Taurus?
Sir And. Taurus ? that's sides and heart.
Sir To. No, Sir, it is legs and thighs. Let' me fee thee caper ; ha! higher : ha, ha! excellent.
SCENE changes to the Palace.
F the Duke continue these favours towards you, hath known you but three days, and already you are no ftranger.
Vio. You either fear his humour, or my negligence, that
you call in question the continuance of his love. Is he inconftant, Sir, in his favours ? Val. No, believe me.
Enter Duke, Curio, and Attendants.
Duke. Stand you a-while aloof.. -Cefario,
Vio. Sure, my noble Lord,
Duke. Be clamorous, and leap all civil bounds,
Vio. Say, I do speak with her, my Lord; what then?
Duke. O, then, unfold the passion of my love,
Vio. I think not so, my Lord.
Duke. Dear lad, believe it :