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For, ere the ships could meet by twice five leagues, And afterwards consort you till bed-time;
My present business calls me from you now.
Ant. s. Farewell till then : I will go lose myself, Our helpful ship was splitted in the midst,
And wander up and down, to view the city. So that, in this unjust divorce of us,
Mer. Sir, I commend you to your own content. Fortune had left to both of us alike
(Exit. What to delight in, what to sorrow for,
Ant. S. He that commends me to mine own content, Her part, poor soul! seeming as burdened
Commends me to the thing I cannot get. With lesser weight, but not with lesser woe, I to the world am like a drop of water, Was carried with more speed before the wind; That in the ocean seeks another drop; And in our sight they three were taken up
Who, falling there to find his fellow forth, By tishermen of Corinth, as we thought.
Unseen, inquisitive, confounds himself :
So I, to find a mother and a brother,
Enter Dromio of Ephesus.
Here comes the almanack of my true date, And therefore homeward did they bend their course. What now? How chance, thou art return'd so soon! Thus have you heard me sever'd from my bliss; Dro. E. Return'd so soon ! rather approach'd too That by misfortunes was my life prolong'a,
late: To tell sad stories of my own mishaps.
The capon burns, the pig falls from the spit; Duke. And, for the sake of them thou sorrowest for, The clock bath strucken twelve upon the bell, Do me the favour to dilate at full
My mistress made it one upon my cheek : What hath befall'n of them, and thee, till now. She is so hot because the meat is cold;
Age. My youngest boy, and yet my eldest care, The meat is cold, because you come not home; At eighteen years became inquisitive
You come not home, because you have no stomach ; After his brother, and importuo'd me,
You have no stomach, having broke your fast; That his attendant (for his case was like,
But we, that know what 'tis to fast and pray, Reft of his brother, but retain'd his name),
Are penitent for your default to-day. Might bear him company in the quest of him: Ant. S. Stop in your wind, sir; tell me this, I pray; whom whilst I labour'd of a love to see,
Where have you left the money that I gave you? I hazarded the loss of whom I lov'd.
Dro. E.0,--sixpence, that I had o'Wednesday last, Five summers bave I spent in furthest Greece, To pay the saddler for my mistress'crupper :Roaming clean through the bounds of Asia,
The saddler had it, sir, I kept it not. And, coasting homeward, came to Ephesus;
Ant. s. I am not in a sportive humour now : Hopeless to find, yet loath to leave unsought, Tell me, and dally not, where is the money! Or that, or any place that harbours men.
We being strangers here, low dar'st thou trust But here must end the story of my life;
So great a charge from thine own custody! And happy were l in my timely death,
Dro. E. I pray you, jest, sir, as you sit at dinner : Could all my troubles warrant me they live. I from my mistress come to you in post :
Duke. Hapless Egeon, whom the fates have mark'a if I return, I sball be post indeed : To bear the extremity of dire mishap!
For she will score your fault upon my pate. Now, trust me, were it not against our laws, Methinks your maw, like mine, should be your clock, Against my crown, my oath, my dignity,
And strike you home without a messenger. Which princes, would they, may not disandal, Ant. s. Come, Dromio, come, these jests are out My soul should sue as advocate for thee.
of season ; But, though thou art adjudged death,
Reserve them till a merrier hour than this: And passed sentence may not be recall'a,
Where is the gold I gave in charge to thee! But to our bonour's great disparagement,
Dro. E. To me, sir! why you gave no gold to me. Yet will I favour thee in what I can:
Ant. S. Come on, sir knave, have done your foolTherefore, merchant, I'll limit thee this day,
ishness, To seek thy help by beneficial help:
And tell me, how thoa bast dispos'd thy charge. Try all the friends thou hast in Ephesus;
Dro. E. My charge was but to fetch you from the Beg thou, or borrow, to make up the sum,
mart And live; if not, then thou art doom'd to die :- Home to your house, the Phoenix, sir, to dinner ; Gaoler, take him to thy custody.
My mistress, and her sister, stay for you. Gaol. I will, my lord.
Ant. s. Now, as I am a Christian, answer me, Age. Hopeless, and helpless, doth Ægeon wend, In what safe place you have bestow'd my money ; But to procrastinate his lifeless end. (Exeunt. Or 1 sball break that merry sconce of yours,
That stands ou tricks when I am andispos'd :
Where is the thousand marks thou hadst of me?
Dro. E. I have some marks of yours upon my pate, Enter Antipholus and Dromio of Syracuse, and a
Some of my mistress' marks upon my shoulders, Merchant.
But not a thousand marks between you both.-Mer. Therefore, give out, you are of Epidamnum If I should pay your worship those again, Lest that your goods too soon be confiscate.
Perchance, you will not bear them patiently. This very day, a Syracusan merchant
Ant. s. Thy mistress' marks ! w bat mistress, slave, Is apprehended for arrival here;
bast thou ! And, not being able to buy out his life,
Dro. E. Your worship’s wife, my mistress at the According to the statute of the town,
Phoenix; Dies ere the weary san set in the west.
She that doth fast, till you come home to dinner, There is your money that I had to keep:
And prays, that you will hie you home to dinner. Ant. s. Go bear it to the Centaur, where we host, Ant.s. What, wilt thou flout me thas unto my face, And stay there, Dromio, till I come to thee.
Being forbid ! There, take you that, sir knave. Within this hour it will be dinner-time :
Dro. E. What mean you, sirl for God's sake, hold Till that, I'll view the manners of the town,
your hands; Peruse the traders, gaze upon the buildings, Nay, an you will not, sir, I'll take my heels. And then return, and sleep within mine ina;
(Exit. For with long travel I am stiff and weary.
Ant. s. Upon my life, by some device or other, Get thee away.
The villain is o'er-raught of all my money. Dro.s. Many a man would take you at your word, They say, this town is full of cozenage ; And go indeed, having so good a mean. (Exit Dro. S. As, nimble jugglers, that deceive the eye,
Ant. S. A trusty villain, sir; that very oft, Dark-working sorcerers, that change the mind,
Disguised cheaters, prating mountebanks,
If it prove so, I will bo gone the sooner. Mer. I am invited, sir, to certain merchants, L'Il to the Centaur, to go seek this slave; of whom I hope to make much benefit;
I greatly fear, my money is not safe. [Exit. I crave your pardon. Soon, at five o'clock, Please you, I'll meet with you upon the mart,
Dro. E. Am I so round with you, as yon with me,
That like a football you do spurn me thus
You spurn me hence, and he will spurn me hither :
If I last in this service, you mast case mein leather. Adr. Neither my husband, nor the slave return'd
Luc. Fie, how impatience lowereth in your face! That in such haste I sent to seek his master!
Adr. His company must do his minions grace, Sure, Luciana, it is two o'clock.
Whilst I at home starve for a merry look. Luc. Perhaps, some merchant hath invited him,
Hath homely age the alluring beauty took And from the mart he's somewhere gone to dinner.
From my poor cheek? then he hath wasted it : Good sister, let us dine, and never tret :
Are my discourses dull ! barren my wit ? A man is master of his liberty :
If voluble and sharp discourse be marr'd, Time is their master; and, when they see time,
Unkindness blants it, more than marble hard. They'll go, or come: If so, be patient, sister.
Do their gay vestments his affections bait? Adr. Why should their liberty than ours be more!
That's not my fault, he's master of my state : Luc. Because their business still lies out o'door.
What ruins are in me that can be found Adr. Look, wben I serve him so, he takes it ill.
By him not ruin'd I then is he the ground Luc. 0, know, he is the bridle of your will.
of my defeatures : My decayed fair Adr. There's none, but asses, will be bridled so.
A sunny look of his would soon repair :
But, too unruly deer, he breaks the pale,
And feeds from home; poor I am but his stale. But hath his bound, in earth, in sea, in sky:
Luc. Self-arming jealousy!-fie, heat it hepce. The beasts, the fishes, and the winged fowls,
Adr. Unfeeling fools can with such wrongs dispense. Are their males' subject, and at their controls :
I know his eye doth homage other where;
Or else, what lets it but he would be here?
Sister, you know he promis'd me a chain ;
Would that alone, alone he would detain, Of more pre-eminence than fish and fowls,
So he would keep fair quarter with his bed!
I see, the jewel, best enamelled,
Will lose his beauty; and though gold 'bides still, Luc. Not this, but troubles of the marriage bed.
That others touch, yet osten touching will Adr. But, were you wedded, you would bear some Bnt falsehood and corruption doth it shame.
Wear gold; and so no man, that hath a name, sway.
Since that my beauty cannot please his eye, Luc. Ere I loarn love, I'll practise to obey.
I'll weep w.bat's left away, and weeping die. Adr. How if your husband start some other where ?
Luc. How many fond fools serve mad jealousy ! Luc. Till he come bome again, I would forbear.
[Exeunt. Adr. Patience, unmov'd, no marvel though she
SCENE H. The same. panse ; They can be meek, that have no other cause.
Enter Antipholus of Syracuse. A wretched soul, bruis'd with adversity,
Ant. s. The gold, I gave to Dromio, is laid up We bid be quiet, when we hear it cry;
Safe at the Centaur; and the heedful slave
Enter Dromio of Syracuse.
How now, sir! is your merry humour alter'da
As you love strokes, so jest with me again.
You know no Centaurt you receiv'd no gold ?
Your mistress sent to have, me home to dinner 1 Adr. Say, is your tardy master now at hand! My house was at the Phoenix! Wast thou mad,
Dro. E. Nay, he is at two hands with me, and that that thus so madly, thou didst answer me! my two ears can witness.
Dro. S. What answer, sir ! when spake I such a Adr. Say, didst thou speak with him! know'st
(since. thou his mind ?
Ant. s. Even now, even here, not half an hour Dro. E. Ay, ay, he told his mind upon mine ear :
Dro, s. I did not see you since you sent me hence, Beshrew his hand, I scarce could understand it.
Home to the Centaur, with the gold you gave me. Lue. Spake he so doubtfully, thou couldst not feel Ant. S. Villain, thou didst deny the gold's receipt; his meaning
And told'st me of a mistress and a dinner; Dro. E. Nay, he strack so plainly, I could too well For which, I hope, thou felt'st I was displeas'd. feel his blows; and withal so doubtfully, that I could Dro. s. I am glad to see you in tbis merry vein : scarce understand them.
What means this jest! I pray you, master, tell me, Adr. But say, I prythee, is he coming home! Ant. s. Yea, dost thou jeer, and flout me in the It seems, he hath great care to please his wife.
teeth ? Dro. !. Why,mistress, sure my master is horn-mad. Think'st thou, I jesté Hold, take thou that, and that. Adr. Horn-mad, thou villain ?
[Beating him. Dro. E. I mean not cuckold-mad; but, sure, he's Dro. S. Hold, sir, for God's sake : now your jest stark-mad:
Upon what bargain do you give it me! [is earnest : When I desir'd him to come home to dinner,
Ant. s. Because that I familiarly sometimes He ask'd me for a thousand marks in gold :
Do use yoa for my fool, and chat with you, 'Tis dinner time, quoth I; My gold, quoth he : Your sauciness will jest upon my love, Your meat doth burn, quoth 1; My gold, quoth he : And make a common of my serious hours. Will you come home 1 quoth 1 ; My gold, quoth he: Wben the sun shines, let foolish gnats make sport, Where is the thousand marks I gave thee, mllain? But creep in erannies, when Indes his beams. The pig, quoth I, is burned; My gold, qaoth he : If you will jest with me, know my aspect, My mistress, sir, quoth I; Hang up thy mistress; And fashion your demeanour to my looks, I know not thy mistress; out on thy mistress! Or I will beat this method in your sconce. Luc. Quoth who?
Dro. S. Sconce, call you itt so you would leave Dro. E. Quoth my master :
battering, I had rather have it a head : an you use I know, quoth he, no house, no wife, no mistress ; these blows long, I must get a sconce for my head, So that my errand, due unto my tongue,
and insconce it too; or else I shall seek my wit in I thank him, I bear home upon my shoulders ; my shoulders. Bat, I pray, sir, why am I beaten! For, in conclusion, he did beat me there.
Ant. S. Dost thou not know?
Dro. E. Go back again, and be new beaten home! Ant. s. Shall I tell you why?
Dro. S. Ay, sir, and wherefore ; for, they say, Adr. Back, slave, or I will break thy pate across every why bath a wherefore,
Dro. E. And he will bless that cross with other Ant. s. Why, first--for floating me; and then, Between you I shall have a holy head. (beating : wherefore,
Adr. Hence, prating peasant; fetch thy master home. For urging it the second time to me.
Dro. S. Was there ever any man thus beaten out By ruffian lust should be contaminate ? of season,
(uor reason - Wonidst thou not spit at ine, and spurn at me, When, in the why, and the wherefore, is neither rhyme And hurl the name of husband in my face, Well, sir, I thank you.
And tear the stain'd skin off my barlot brow, Ant. s. Thank me, sir? for what?
And from my false hand cut the wedding ring, Dro. S. Marry, sir, for this something that you And break it with a deep-divorcing vow ? gave me for nothing.
I know thou canst ; and therefore, see, thou do it. Ant. s. I'll make yon amends nest, to give you I am possess'd with an adulterate blot; nothing for somethingBut say, sir, is it dinoer- My blood is mingled with the crime of lust : time!
For, if we two be one, and thou play false, Dro. $. No, sir; I think, the meat wants that 1 I do digest the poison of thy flesh,
Being strumpeted by thy contagion. Ant. S. In good time, sir, what's that!
Keep then fair league and truce with thy true bed ; Dro. S. Basting:
I live dis-stain'd, thou undishonoured. Ant. S. Well, sir, then 'twill be dry.
Ant. $. Plead you to me, fair daine? I know you Dro. S. If it be, sir, I pray you eat none of it. In Ephesus I am but two hours old,
(not: Ant. s. Your reason !
As strange unto your town, as to your talk ; Dro. S. Lest it make you choleric, and parcbase Who, every word by all my wit being scann'd, me another dry basting.
Want wit in all one word to understand. [you! Ant. S. Well, sir, learn to jest in good time; Luc. Fie, brother! how the world is ebang'd with There's a time for all things.
When were you wont to use my sister thus 1 Dro. S. I durst have denied that, before you were She sent for you by Dromio home to dinner. so cholerie.
Ant. S. By Dronio? Ant. S. By what rule, sir !
Dro. $. By me!
[him, Dro. S. Marry, sir, by a rule as plain as the plain Adr. By thee: and this thou didst return from bald pate of father Time himself.
That he did buffet thee, and, in his blows, Ant. S. Let's hear it.
Deny'd my house for his, me for his wife. Dro. $. There's no time for a man to recover his Ant. s. Did you converse, sir, with this gentlebair, that grows bald by nature.
woman? Ant. s. May he not do it by line and recovery!
What is the course and drift of your compact ? Dro.s. Yes, to pay a tine for a peruke, and reco- Dro. S. I, sir? I never saw her till this time. ver the lost hair of another man.
Ant. S. Villain, thou liest ; for even her very words Ant. Why is Time such a niggard of hair, being Didst thou deliver to me on the mart. as it is, so plentiful an excrementi
Dro. S. I never spake with her in all my life. Dro. S. Because it is a blessing that he bestows Ant. S. How can she thus then call us by our names, on beasts: and what he hath scanted men in hair, he Unless it be by inspiration ! hath given them in wit.
Adr. How ill agrees it with your gravity, Ant. s. Why, but there's many a man bath more to counterfeit thus grossly with your slave, hair than wit.
Abetting himn to thwart me in my mood ! Dro.s. Not a man of those, but he hath the wit Be it my wrong, you are from me exempt, to lose his hair.
But wrong not that wrong with a more contempt. Ant. S. Why, thou didst conclude hairy men plain Come, I will fasten on this sleeve of thine : dealers without wit.
Thou art an elm, my husband, I a vine; Dro. S. The plainer dealer, the sooner lost : Yet Whose weakness, married to thy stronger state, he loseth it in a kind of jollity.
Makes me with thy strength to communicate : Ant. S. For what reason ?
If aught possess thee from me, it is dross, Dro. s. For two; and sound ones too.
Usarping ivy, briar, or idle moss; Ant. S. Nay, not sound, I pray you.
Who, all for want of pruning, with intrusion Dro. S. Sure ones, then.
Infect thy sap, and live on thy confusion. Ant. S. Nay, not sure, in a thing falsing.
Ant. s. To me she speaks; she moves me for her Dro. s. Certain ones then.
Wbat, was I married to her in my dream? (theme: Ant. s. Name them.
Or sleep I now, and think I hear all this? Dro. S. The one, to save the money that he speads What error drives our eyes and ears amiss ? in tiring; the other, that at dinner they should not Until I know this sure uncertainty, drop in his porridge.
l'll entertain the offer'a fallacy. Ant. s. You would all this time have proved there Luc. Dromio, go bid the servants spread for dinner. is no time for all things.
Dro. S. 0, for my beads! I cross me for a sinner. Dro. S. Marry, and did, sir; namely, no time to This is the fairy land ;--0, spite of spites ! recover hair lost by nature.
We talk with goblins, owls, and elvish sprites; Ant. S. But your reason was not substantial, why If we obey them not, this will ensue, there is no time to recover.
They'll suck onr breath, pinch us black and blue. Dro. S. Thus I mend it: Time himself is bald, Luc. Why prat'st thou to thyself, and answer'st and therefore, to the world's end will have bald fol
Dromio, thon drone, thou snail, thou slug, thou sot! Ant. s. I knew, 'twould be a bald conclusion: But Dro. s. I am transformed, master, am not !! soft! who wafts us yonder!
Ant. s. I think, tbou art, in mind, and so am I.
Dro. S. Nay, master, both in mind, and in my shape. Enter Adriana and Luciana.
Ant. S. Thou hast thine owa form. Adr. Ay, ay, Antipholas, look strange, and frown; Dro. S.
No, I am an ape. Some other mistress bath thy sweet aspects,
Luc. If thon art chang'd to anght, 'tis to an ass. I am not Adriana, nor thy wife.
Dro. S. 'Tis true ; she rides me, and I long for grass. The time was once, when thou unarg'd wouldst vow, 'Tis so, I am an ass; else it could never be, That never words were music to thine ear,
Bat I should know her as well as she knows me. That never object pleasing in thine eye,
Adr. Come, come, no longer will I be a fool, That never touch well-welcome to thy hand, To put the finger in the eye and weep, That never meat sweet-savour'd in thy taste,
Whilst man, and master, laugh my woes to scorn. Unless I spake, look'd, touch'd, or cary'd to thee. Come, sir, to dinner; Dromio, keep the gate : How comes it now, my husband, oh, how comes it, Husband, I'll dine above with you to-day, That thou art then estranged from thyself!
And shrive you of a thousand idle pranks: Thyself I call it, being strange to me,
Sirrah, if any ask you for your master, That, undividable, incorporate,
Say, he dines forth, and let no creature enter. Am better than thy dear self's better part.
Come, sister :-Dromio, play the porter well. Ah, do not tear away thyself from me;
Ant. 8. Am I in earth, in heaven, or in hell! For know, my love, as easy inayst thou fall Sleeping, or waking! mad, or well-advis'd ? A drop of water in the breaking golf,
Known onto these, and to myself disguis'd! And take unmingled thence that drop again, P'll say as they say, and persever so, Without addition, or diminishing,
And in this mist at all adventures go. As take from me thyself, and not me too.
Dro. S. Master, shall I be porter at the gate! How dearly would it touch thee to the quick, Aur. Ay; and let none enter, lest I break your pate. Shouldst thou but hear I were licentious;
Luc. Come, come, Antipholus, we dine loo late. And that this body, consecrate to thee,
(Eseunt. ACT III.
Ant. E. You'll cry for this, mipion, if I beat the door down,
[the towo! SCENE I. The stue.
Luce. What needs all that, and a pair of stocks in Enter Antipholus of Ephesus, Dromio of Ephesus, Adr. [Within] Who is that at the door, that Angelo, and Balthazar.
keeps all this noise!
(unruly boys. Ant. E. Good signior Angelo, you must excuse us Dro. S. By my troth, your town is troubled with My wife is shrewish, when I keep not hours: Call; Ant. E. Are you there, wife? you might have Say, that I linger'd with you at your shop,
[door. To see the making of her carkanet,
Adr. Your wife, sir knave! go, get you from the And that to-morrow you will bring it home.
Dro. E. If you went in pain, master, this knave But here's a villain, that would face me down
would go sore. He met me on the mart: and that I beat him.
Ang. Here is neither ebeer, sir, nor welcome; we And charg'd him with a thousand marks in gold;
would fain have either. And that I did deny my wife and house :-
Bal. In debating which was best, we shall part Thon drunkard, thou, what didst thou mean by this?
[welcome hither. Dro. . Say what yon will, sir, bat I know what Dro. E. They stand at the door, master; bid them I know :
(show : Ant. E. There is something in the wind, that we That you beat me at the mart, I have your band to cannot get in.
(ments were thin. If the skin were parchment, and the blows you gave
Dro. E. You would say so, master, if your garwere ink,
Your cake here is warm within ; you stand here in Your own handwriting would tell you what I think.
the cold :
[and sold Ant. E. I think, thou art an ass.
It would make a man mad as a beck, to he so bought Dro. E.
Marry, so it doth appear Ant. E. Go, fetch me something, I'll break ope By the wrongs I suffer, and the blows I bear.
[your knave's pate I should kick, being kick'd ; and, being at that pass, Dro. S. Break any breaking here, and I'll break You would keep from my herls, and beware of an ass. Dro. E. A man may break a word with yon, sir : Ant. E. You are sad, signior Balthazar; 'Pray God,
and words are but wind; our cheer
(here. Ay, and break it in your face, so he break it not beMay answer my good will, and yonr good welcome
[upon thee, hind! Bal. I hold your dainties cheap, sir, and your wel- Dro. S. It seems, thou wantest breaking: Out come dear.
Dro. E. Here's too much, oat upon thee! 1 pray Ant. E 0, signior Balthazar, either at flesh or fish,
thee, let me in.
[have no fin, A table full of welcome makes scarce one dainty dish. Dro. S. Ay, when fowls have no feathers, and fish Bal. Good meat, sir, is common ; that every churi Ant. E. Well, I'll break in; Go borrow me a crow. affords.
Dro. E. A crow without a feather; master, mean Ant. E. And welcome more common : for that's
von so! nothing but words.
For a fish without a fin, there's a fowl without a Bal. Small cheer, and great welcome, makes a
(gether. merry feast.
(guest : If a crow help us in, sirrah, we'il pluck a crow toAnt. E. Ay, to a niggardly host, and more sparing Ant. E. Go, get thee gone, fetch me an iron cror. But though my cates be mean, take them in good part; Bal. Have patience, sir; o, let it not be so : Better cheer may you have, but not with better heart. Herein yon war against your repatation, But, soft ; my door is look'd; Go bid them let us in. And draw within the compass of suspect Dro. E. Maud, Bridget, Marian, Cicely, Gillian, The un violated honour of your wife." Jen'!
Once this,---Your long experience of her wisdom, Dro. S. Within) Mome, malt-horse, capon, con- Her sober virtue, years, and modesty, comb, idiot, patch !
Chatch: Plead on her part some cause to you unknown; Either get thee from the door, or sit down at the And doubt not, sir, but she will well excuse Dost thou conjure for wenches, that thon call'st for Why at that time the doors are made against you. such store,
[door. Be ral'd by me; depart in patience, When one is one too many! Go, get thee froin the And let us to the Tiger all to dinner : Dro. E. What patch is made our porter ? My And, about evening, come yourself alone, master stays in the street.
To know the reason of this strange restraint. Dro. S. Let him walk from whence he came, lest If by strong hand you offer to break in, he catch cold on's feet.
Now in the stirring passage of the day, Ant. B. Who talks within there! ho, open the door. A vulgar comment will be made on it; Dro. S. Right, sir, I'll tell you when, an you'll And that supposed by the common rout tell me wherefore.
Against your vet ungalled estimation, Ant. E. Wherefore! for my dinner; I have not that may with foul intrusion enter in, din'd to day.
[when you may. And dwell upon your grave when you are dead : Dro, S. Nor to-day he
you must not come again, For slander lives upon succession ; Ant. E. What art thou, that keep'st me out from For ever hous'd, where it once gets possession. the house I owe 1
[is Dromio. Ant. E. You have prevail'd; I will depart in quiet, Dro. S. The porter for this time, sir, and my name And, in despight of mirth, mean to be merry. Dro. E. O villain, thou hast stolen both mine I know a wench of excellent discourse, office and my name;
Pretty and witty; wild, and yet too gentle ;
To her will we to dinner.Get you home, Luce. [Within) What a coil is there ! Dromio, And fetch the chain; by this, I know, 'tis made: who are those at the gate !
Bring it, I pray you, to the Porcupine : Dro. E. Let my master in, Luce.
For there's the house ; that chain will I bestow Luce.
Faith, no; he comes too late (Be it for nothing but to spite my wife), And so tell your master.
Upon mine hostess there : good sir, make haste : Dro. E.
O Lord, I must laagh :- Since mine own doors refuse to entertain me, Have at you with a proverb.--Shall I set in my staff! I'll knoek elsewhere, to see if they'll disdain me. Luce. Have at you with another: that's,- When! Ang. I'll meet you at that place, some hour hence. can you tell ?
Ant. E. Do so: This jest shall cost me some exDro. S. If thy name be call'd Luce, Luce, thou
• [Eseunt bast answer'd him well.
SCENE II. The same. Ant. E. Do you hear, you minion ? you'll let us in, I hope !
Enter Luciana, and Antipholus of Syracuse. Luce. I thought to have ask'd you.
Luc. And may it be that you have quite forgot Dro. S.
And you said, no. A husband's office I shall, Antipholus, hate, Dro. E. So, come, help; well struck; there was Even in the spring of love, thy love-springs rot! blow for blow.
Shall love, in building, grow so ruinate? Ant. E. Thou baggage, let me in.
If you did wed my sister for her wealth, (kindness : Luce.
Can you tell for whose sake! Then, for her wealth's sake, use her with more Dro. E. Master, knock the door hard.
Or, if you like elsewhere, do it by stealth ; Luce.
Let him knock till it ache. Muffle your false love with some show of blindness :
Let not my sister read it in your eye;
Dro. S. A very reverent body; ay, such a one as Be not thy tongue thy own shame's orator; a man may not speak of, without he say, sir-reveLook sweet, speak fair, become disloyalty ;
rence; I have but lean luck in the match, and yet is Apparel vice like virtue's harbioger :
she a wondrous fat marriage. Bear a fair presence, though your heart be tainted ; Ant. s. How dost thou mean, a fat marriage ? Teach sin the carriage of a holy saint;
Dro. S. Marry, sir, she's the kitchen-wench, and Be secret-false : What need she be acquainted ! all grease; and I know not what use to put her to,
What simple thief brags of his own attaint! but to make a lamp of her, and run from her by her 'Tis double wrong, to truant with your bed,
own light. I warrant, her rags, and the tallow in And let her read it in thy looks at board : them, will burn a Poland winter: if she lives till Shame hath a bastard fame, well managed ;
doomsday, she'll burn a week longer than the whole II) deeds are doubled with an evil word.
world. Alas, poor woman! make us but believe,
Ant. S. What complexion is she of! Being compact of credit, that you love us; Dro. S. Swart, like my shoe, but her face nothing Though others have the arm, show us the sleeve; like so clean kept; For why? she sweats, a man
We in your motion turn, and you may move us, may go over shoes in the grime of it. Then, gentle brother, get you in again ;
Ånt. s. That's a fault that water will mend. Comfort my sister, cheer her, call her wife : Dro. S. No, sir, 'tis in grain ; Noah's flood could 'Tis holy sport to be a little vain,
not do it. When the sweet breath of flattery conquers strife.
Ant, s. What's her name? Art. $. Sweet mistress (what your name is else
Dro.s. Nell, sir ;-but her name and three quarI know not,
ters, that is, an ell and three quarters, will not Nor by what wonder you do hit on mine), [not, measure her from hip to hip. Less, in your knowledge, and your grace, you show
Ant. S. Then she bears some breadth ? Than our earth's wonder; more than earth divine. Dro. S. No longer from head to foot, than from hip Teach me, dear creature, how to think and speak; to hip: she is spherical, like a globe ; I could find Lay open to my earthly gross conceit,
out countries in her. Smother'd in errors, feeble, shallow, weak,
Ant. S. In what part of her body stands Ireland ? The folded meaning of your word's deceit.
Dro. S. Marry, sir, in her buttocks; I found it out Against my soul's pure truth why labour you, by the bogs. To make it wander in an unknown field?
Ant, s. Where Scotland ? Are you a god? would you create me new!
Dro. S. I found it by the barrenness; hard, in the Transform me then, and to your power I'll yield. palm of her hand. But if that I am I, then well I know,
Ant. S. Where France ? Your weeping sister is no wife of mine,
Dro. $. In her forebeard ; arm'd and reverted, Nor to her bed no homage do I owe;
making war against her hair. Far more, far more, to you do I decline.
Ant. s. Where England ? train me not, sweet mermaid, with note, Dro. S. I look'd for the chalky cliffs, but I coul To drown me in thy sister's flood of tears;
find no whiteness in them: but I guess it stood in Sing, siren, for thyself, and I will dote :
her chin, by the salt rbeum that ran between France Spread o'er the silver waves thy golden hairs,
add it. And as a bed I'll take thee, and there lie;
Ant. S. Where Spain ? And, in that glorions supposition, think
Dro. S. Faith, I saw it not; but I felt it, hot in He gains by death, that hath such means to die :- her breath. Let love, being light, be drowned if she siuk! Ant. S. Where America, the Indies ? Luc. What, are you mad, that you do reason so ? Dro. S. 0, sir, upon her nose, all o'er embellish'd Ant. s. Not mad, but mated; how, I do not know. with rubies, carbuneles, sapphires, declining their Luc. It is a fault that springeth from your eye. rich aspect to the hot breath of Spain; who sent Ant.S. For gazing on your beams, fair san, being by. whole armadas of carracks, to the ballast at her nose. Luc. Gaze where you should, and that will clear Ant. S. Where stood Belgia, the Netherlands ! your sight.
[night. Dro. S. O, sir, I did not look so low. To conAnt. $. As good to wink, sweet love, as look on clude, this drudge, or diviner, laid claim to me Luc. Why call you me love? call my sister so. call'd me Dromio ; swore I was assur'd to her ; told Ant. S. Thy sister's sister.
me what privy marks I had about me, as the mark Luc.
That's my sister. on my shoulder, the mole in my neck, the great wart Ant. s.
No; on my left arm, that I, amazed, ran from her as a It is thyself, mine own self's better part;
witch : and, I think, if my breast had not been made Mine eye's clear eye, my dear heart's dearer heart; of faith, and my heart of steel, she had transform'd My food, my fortune, and my sweet hope's aim, me to a curtail-dog, and made me turn i'the wheel. My sole earth's heaven, and my heaven's claim. Ant. s. Go, hie thee presently, post to the road;
Luc. All this my sister is, or else should be. And if the wind blow any way from shore,
Ant. s. Call thyself sister, sweet, for I aim thee: I will not harbour in this town to-night. Thee will I love, and with thee lead my life ; If any bark put forth, come to the mart, Thou hast no husband yet, nor I no wife :
Where I will walk, till thou return to me. Give me thy band.
If every one know us, and we know none, Luc.
0, soft, sir, hold you still ; "Tis time, I think, to trudge, pack, and be gone.. I'll fetch my sister, to get her good will.
Dro. S. As from a bear a man would run for life, [Exit Luciana. So fly I from her that would be my wife. [Exit.
Ants. There's none but witches do inhabit here; Enter, from the House of Antipholus of Ephesus, And therefore, 'tis high time that I were hence. Dromio of Syracuse.
She that doth call me husband, even my soal Ant. S. Why, how now, Dromio? where runn'st Doth for a wife abhor : bat her fair sister, thou so fast!
Possess'd with such a gentle sovereign grace,
Hath almost made me traitor to myself: Ant. S. Thou art Dromio, thou art my man, thou But, lest myself be guilty to self-wrong, art thyself.
I'll stop mine ears against the mermaid's song, Dro. S. I am an ass, I am a woman's man, and besides myself.
Enter Angelo Ant. 8. What woman's man and how besides Ang. Master Antipholus ! thyself?
Ant. S. Ay, that's my name. Dro. S. Marry, sir, besides myself, I am due to a Ang. I know it well, sir : Lo, here is the chain ; woman; one that claims me, one that haunts me, one I thought to have ta’en you at the Porcupine : that will have me.
The chain unfinish'd made me stay thus long, Ant. S. What claim lays she to theet
Ant. S. What is your will, that I shall do with Dro. S. Marry, sir, such claim as you would lay
(for you. to your horse ; and she would have me as a beast: Ang. What please yourself, sir; I have made it not that, I being a beast, she would have me; but Ani, s. Made it for me, sir! I bespoke it not. that she, being a very beastly creaturo, lays claim Ang. Not once, nor twice, but twenty times you
have : Ant. S. What is she?
Go home with it, and please your wife withal;