CHAPTER XIV.

WOMAN DISPOSES.

AFTER he was gone I began little by little to realise, to see clearly through the horrid situation; then I knew that his influence had bound me with a strong spell to submit my will to his. In his presence, it would seem passion slept; now the awful fire that should consume my life's springs, subdued and satisfied for a moment by sight of him, sprang up anew to torture me, and could not be quelled by my effort. Now was the truth sensible to me: I had misread my course with him, I had been too tame !

My own will and judgment I must not so easily give up-if he went to India, thither I must follow; I had the right to breathe the same air, if not to see him,

rather than put half the world between us. No need of that. We at least were not divided by a gulf of sin and shame, such as he must wade through to reach her. I could go to India and seek a harbour with my mother's kindred: was I not born there? That right of birth should stand me in stead now, and the bright inheritance of my dear father's fame, I could not doubt, was remaining there for me.

The room shook with the rolling of carriage wheels; I heard and felt them night after night since I came to town. We lived in a nook of a street close by a fashionable neighbourhood. I had not yet grown accustomed to the perpetual noise, rolling and rolling continually, as they bore the gay throngs from scene to scene of festivity, to banquet and ball, where those two might meet one another, where he might meet all the world as it lay at his feet, and whence I was shut out. Those wheels rolling and rolling on as if for ever -they bore upon my brain now!

I called to mind, involuntarily, every word I had heard said by Mrs. Heathcote and others, of her, of him. There was no

shutting out the conviction that, whatever I might believe the truth to be, the world's condemnation had been passed upon the liaison, silently, and without scandal, inasmuch as the husband was quiescent; but if he were to add his voice, then indeed it would be the ruin of Arthur's fame and name. It might be there was no guilt accomplished yet, only the suspicion of it clinging to him through her. To ward off such suspicion he might be led-heaven knows to what. Had not that woman boasted to me of her power over him as if she gloried in her very shame ?

Jealousy, yes, horrible jealousy, entered into my breast like the possession of a demon. I took measure of her, as she had done of me, in hate and loathing; every detail of her face, form, and manner of speech became present with me. Now, even now, was she spreading for him the snare of her beauty and fascination, with every allurement of pernicious charm to betray a man to death and perdition. I could feel the wondrous texture of her milk-white arms, round and soft like a babe's, emerging half seen from their

ruffles of rich lace; her bosom's rise and fall I could perceive through the mist of vaporous gauze-like bright clouds floating before the moon's fair orb, that men's eyes should the more desire the full lustre of her loveliness. My thoughts shaped an image of her form, grandly moulded, like the statue of a Roman Empress. Oh, me! I had no beauty to contend with hers!

It was ten o'clock when my resolution took shape; something I saw palpably before me was leading me on to do it. The step was a desperate one-to go that very moment and seek him out, wherever he might be, to forbid him meeting her again on the peril of his soul and mine!

Prudence, reputation, consequence, I forgot them all, meaning no ill. There was no one to advise or detain, no one to accompany me-Mrs. Heathcote and her husband were both on duty at the theatre. I reasoned with myself: Arthur was, perhaps, gone to the ball, and I should be too late to find him. No matter, I must go!

I went; I reached his abode, chambers

apart from his official residence, where he had given me of late his private address; a carriage was at the door, I recognised on it the Hope Trevor arms; was it waiting there for her or her husband? If the latter, what would he think of me? I could not stop myself now; my attempt had passed. beyond my own control.

I obtained entrance, and stood upon the first landing, before his door; there was a demur to my coming in by the servant who opened it; some one was speaking in the room within. Through a closed inner door beyond I recognised her; I grew actually bold, that had trembled like a fallen leaf till then. What right had this evil-hearted married woman to come between me and my love? Oh, how I abhorred the thought! I would dare her out to the bitter end! I glided past the servant, and—I know not how-passed through the obstacle of the inner door. I stood before them like the spectre of their own dead conscience: pale as a spasm of remorse, the accusing angel who will keep no silence, I stood there uttering not a word, as I smote him with my eye.