mustachios, shooting far out over his eyes, while his lips were curled up, beneath a bunch of hair, into a most sarcastic leer, he croaked out, 66 Colonel Graham, sir, if it binna ower late, sir, I wad compliment you, sir, on yer braw soldier-lik coup de main, in that braw Conventicle, sir, t'ither day, when oot o'a flock o' about some twenty score, ye cleeked, I am creditably informed, nae less than twa three gimmers, and some sax auld ewes, and a bonny lamb, or twa! And, by the heevens! sir, they say ye was fairly rooted, and uprooted, stump and rump, Eh? And had Hamilton followed up his advantage, ye wad, tae my certain knowledge, hae been singing psalms, this precious nicht in heaven! But ye're spared by the tender mercies o' that saum godly youth. Here's, praise be blessed-for the rich sparin' mercy, dearly beloved." And amid a roar of laughter, he raised his silver flagon to his lips, with a mock solemnity, and quaffed it off. "And mairover, Colonel,-hech! that's glorious claret! they say, sir, ye granted a toleration, sir, to a Conventicle, whilk was held incontinent, and it continued a' the way to Embro, on the king's highway, under the very nose and een o' oor gallant colonel! And a she-whig, mairover, they say, preached a maist moovin' and edifyin' discoorse! And her gab ne'er stopt till ye reached auld Reeky. And noo, sir, wi' a' yer laurels bloomin', and fresh on yer brow, ye mak yer splore, as if we waur a' bairns, and no fit to haud the candle till ye. Here's luck, Colonel Graham, tae yer fresh blossomin' honours!" And he quaffed his second flagon, and setting it doon wi' a flourish, he shook his white mane, and groaned, and laughed! This was more than Graham o' Claverse could have borne with, had he been out of his cups. To such a soldier, wha had twa bottles, and the maist feck o' his third, under his belt, it was insufferable. He threw himsel across the wide oaken table, at ae leap, overturning flagons, glasses, decanters, and black jacks; and, drenched in streaming claret, he sprung upon Dalziel, who tumbled back over his chair, and roared out most lustily. "I'll teach ye," cried Graham, "how to use soldiers, and gentlemen, wha hae seen foreign and domestic service, ye grizzly bearded goat! By saunt Nicholas o' the brumstane throne! I'll shear off some o' that wool frae yer vile swinish chowks, ye 'scape gallows, and rascallion!" And suiting the action to his words, he seized him by the beard; and having dragged him frae his chair, to whilk he clung wi' baith haunds, and teeth, Claverse was actually proceeding to saw off his shaggy beard, with the edge of his sword. To Lauderdale, Rothes, and the remanent members o' the bacchannalian carousal, who were half blind with drink, it appeared as if the infuriate Colonel was really applying his gleaming steel to the auld General's thrapple, and was sawing it, in good earnest, asunder, as unceremoniously as he used to do those of the Whigs. 66 A shame on ye baith," croaked oot Landerdale, as he rose, and was waddling towards them; "Foul shame fa' ye, ye menseless deels! that ye canna tak yer supo' claret, (hiccup!) quietly lik decent Christian-like men, (hiccup,) but ye maun quarrel and cut each ither's thrapples! What wad his maist sacred majesty say, did he but see his twa foremost military chiefs, wha are entrusted wi' affairs o' especial grace, and the settlin' o' the peace, and weel duin' o' the Kirk o' God, (hiccup,) in sic à villainous tulzie as this! He, God bless him, can rise up, weel balanced, (hiccup,) and can carry off his sax bottles o' the divine liquor, under his royal girdle. And you, forsooth, foul fa' ye baith! wi' this sma' allowance maun shed blude o' loyal men! Haud ye! by St George, I command ye baith. Haud ye, Graham, is the auld deel no oot o' ye yet, haud! or I'll cleave ye to the brisket, instanter, if ye dinna pit up that shabble, and keep the peace, this blessed moment!" Rothes sprang forward to enforce the eloquence of Lauderdale. But he was utterly unable to back the exhorta tion to keep the peace. They both staggered toward the prostrate combatants, and tumbled headlong over them. The weight of two such men fairly crushed the soldiers, who both sung out for quarter, as lustily as if on a field of disasterous battle. This was the signal for the "dead drunk" attendants do their duty, as they were now, in the turn of affairs. ters, pro-tempore. All hands were mustered, and as many shouts, and heave hoos, as are heard at the ing of the anchors of a seventy-four, they succe length, in getting the hopeful rulers of Scotland, and the military reformers, charged with the spiritual care of the Kirk, rolled, like so many sheep skin bags of new wine, into their carriages, and trundled slowly home! |