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Count. But to the court? why, what place make you fpecial, when you put off that with fuch contempt; but
to the court!
Clo. Truly, Madam, if God have lent a man any manners, he may easily put it off at court: he that cannot make a leg, put off's cap, kiss his hand, and fay nothing, has neither leg, hands, lip, nor cap; and, indeed, fuch a fellow, to fay precifely, were not for the court: but for me, I have an answer will ferve all men. Count. Marry, that's a bountiful answer that fits all questions.
Clo. It is like a barber's chair, that fits all buttocks; the pin-buttock, the quatch-buttock, the brawn-buttock, or any buttock.
Count. Will your answer serve fit to all questions?
Clo. As fit as ten groats is for the hand of an attorney, as your French crown for your taffaty punk, as Tib's rufh for Tom's fore-finger, as a pancake for Shrove Tuef day, a morris for May-day, as the nail to his hole, the cuckold to his horn, as a fcolding quean to a wrangling knave, as the nun's lip to the friar's mouth; nay, as the pudding to his skin.
Count. Have you, I fay, an answer of such fitness for all questions?
Clo. From below your duke, to beneath your conflable, it will fit any question.
Count. It must be an answer of most monstrous fize, that must fit all demands.
Clo. But a trifle neither, in good faith, if the learned fhould fpeak truth of it: here it is, and all that belongs to't. Ask me, if I am a courtier ;--it fhall do you no harm to learn.
Count. To be young again, if we could: I will be a fool in a queftion, hoping to be the wifer by your a anfwer. I pray you, Sir, are you a courtier ?
Clo. O lord, Sir there's a fimple putting off: more, more, a hundred of them..
Count. Sir, I am a poor friend of yours, that loves
Cla. O lord, Sir-thick, thick, fpare not me.
Count. I think, Sir, you can eat none of this homely
-nay, put me to't, I warrant
Clo. O lord, Sir
Count. You were lately whip'd, Sir, as I think.
Count. Do you cry, O lord, Sir, at your whipping, and spare not me? indeed, your O lord, Sir, is very fequent to your whipping: you would answer very well to a whipping, if you were but bound to't.
Clo. I ne'er had worse luck in my life, in my-O lord, Sir; I fee, things may ferve long, but not ferve
Count. I play the noble hufwife with the time, to entertain it fo merrily with a fool.
Clo. O lord, Sir-why, there't ferves well again. Count. An end, Sir; to your bufinefs: give Helen this, And urge her to a present answer back.
Commend me to my kinfmen, and my fon:
Clo. Not much commendation to them?
Count. Not much imployment for you, you underftand me.
Clo. Moft fruitfully, I am there before my legs.
SCENE changes to the Court of France.
Laf. [11) T
HEY fay, miracles are paft; and we have our philofophical perfons to make modern, and familiar, things fupernatural and caufelefs.
(11) They Say Miracles are past, and we have our Philofophical Perfons to make modern and familiar things supernatural and causelefs.] This, as it has hitherto been pointed, is directly oppofite to our Poet's, and his Speaker's, Meaning. As I have stop'd it, the Senfe quadrates with the Context: and, furely, it is one unalterable Property of Philofophy, to make seeming frange and preternatural Phenomena familiar, and reduceable to Cause and Reason.
Hence is it, that we make trifles of terrors; enfconfing our felves into seeming knowledge, when we should fubmit our felves to an unknown fear.
Par. Why, 'tis the rareft argument of wonder that hath fhot out in our later times.
Ber. And fo 'tis.
Laf. To be relinquifh'd of the artists
Laf. That gave him out incurable,-
Par. Right, as 'twere a man affur'd of anLaf. Uncertain life, and fure death,— Par. Juft, you fay well: fo would I have faid. Laf. I may truly fay, it is a novelty to the world. Par. It is, indeed, if you will have it in fhewing, you shall read it in, what do you call there
Laf. A fhewing of a heav'nly effect in an earthly actor. Par. That's it, I would have faid the very fame. Laf. Why, your dolphin is not luftier: for me, I fpeak in refpect
Par. Nay, 'tis ftrange, 'tis very ftrange, that is the brief and the tedious of it; and he's of a moft facinerious fpirit, that will not acknowledge it to be theLaf. Very hand of heav'n. Par. Ay, fo I fay.
Laf. In a moft weak
Par. And debile minifter, great power, great tranfcendence; which should, indeed, give us a farther use to be made than alone the recov'ry of the King; as to beLaf. Generally thankful.
Enter King, Helena, and attendants.
Par. I would have faid it, you faid well: here comes the King.
Laf. Luftick, as the Dutchman fays: I'll like a Maid the better, while I have a tooth in my head: why, he's able to lead her a Corranto.
Par. Mort du Vinaigre! is not this Helen?
King. Go, call before me all the Lords in court.
And with this healthful hand, whose banish'd sense
Enter three or four Lords.
Fair maid, fend forth thine eye; this youthful parcel
Thou haft power to chufe, and they none to forfake.
Hel. To each of you one fair and virtuous mistress Fall, when love please! marry, to each but one.Laf. I'd give bay curtal and his furniture, My mouth no more were broken than these boys, And writ as little beard.
King. Perufe them well:
Not one of those, but had a noble father.
[She addreffes her felf to a Lord. Hel. Gentlemen, heaven hath, through me, reftor'd The King to health.
All. We understand it, and thank heaven for you. Hel. I am a fimple maid, and therein wealthiest, That, I proteft, I fimply am a maid. Please it your Majefty, I have done already: The blushes in my cheeks thus whisper me, "We blufh that thou should't chufe, but be refus'd; "Let the white death fit on thy cheek for ever, "We'll ne'er come there again.
King. Make choice, and fee,
Who fhuns thy love, fhuns all his love in me.
1 Lord. And grant it.
Hel. Thanks, Sir; all the rest is mute.
Laf. I had rather be in this choice, than throw amesace for my life.
Hel. The honour, Sir, that flames in your fair eyes, Before I fpeak, too threatningly replies: Love make your fortunes twenty times above Her that fo wishes, and her humble love! 2 Lord. No better, if you please. Hel. My with receive,
Which great Love grant! and fo I take my leave.
Hel. Be not afraid that I your hand fhould take,
Laf. These boys are boys of ice, they'll none of her : fure, they are baftards to the English, the French ne'er got 'em.
Hel. You are too young, too happy, and too good, To make yourself a fon out of my blood.
4 Lord. (12) Fair one, I think not fo.
Par. I am fure, thy father drunk wine. ·
(12) 4 Lord. Fair One, I think not fo.
Laf. There's one Grape yet, I am sure my Father drunk Wine: but if Thou be'est not an Ass, 1 am a Touth of fourteen : I have known thee already.] Surely, this is most incongruent Stuff. Lafeu is angry with the other Noblemen, for giving Helen the Repulfe: and is he angry too, and thinks the fourth Nobleman an Afs, because he's for embracing the Match? The Whole, certainly, can't be the Speech of one Mouth. As I have divided the Speech, I think, Clearnefs and Humour are restor❜d. And if Parolles were not a little pert and impertinent here to Lafeu, why should he fay, he had found him out already? Or why should he quarrel with him in the very next Scene?