SCENE II, A Room in Olivia's House. Enter MARIA and Clown. Mar. Nay, I pr'ythee, put on this gown, and this beard; make him believe, thou art sir Topas the curate; do it quickly: I'll call sir Toby the whilɛt. [Exit MARIA. Clo. Well, Pll put it on, and I will dissemble myself in't; and I would I were the first that ever dissembled in such a gown. I am not fat enough to become the function well; nor lean enough to be thought a good student: but to be said, an honest man, and a good housekeeper, goes as fairly, as to say, a careful man, and a great scholar. The competitorst enter. Enter Sir TOBY BELCH and MARIA. Sir To. Jove bless thee, master parson. Clo. Bonos dies, sir Toby: for, as the old hermit of Prague, that never saw pen and ink, very wittily said to a niece of king Gorboduc, That, that is, is: so I, being master parson, am master parson; For what is that, but that? and is, but is? Sir To. To him, sir. Topas. Clo. What, hoa, I say,-Peace in this prison! Sir To. The knave counterfeits well; a good: knave. Mal, in an inner chamber.] Who calls there ? Clo. Sir Topas, the curate, who comes to visit Malvolio the lunatic. Mal. Sir Topas, sir Topas, good sir Topas, go to my lady. 915 Clo. Out, hyperbolical fiend! how vexest thou this man? talkest thou nothing but of ladies? h Sir To. Well said, master parson. Mal. That the soul of our grandam might haply inhabit a bird. Clo. What thinkest thou of his opinion? Mal. I think nobly of the soul, and no way approve his opinion. Clo. Fare thee well: Remain thou still in Sir To. My most exquisite sir Topas ! Sir To. To him in thine own voice, and bring me word how thou findest him: I would we were well rid of this knavery. If he may be conveniently delivered, I would he were; for I am now so far in offence with my niece, that I cannot pursue with any safety this sport to the upshot. Come by and by to my chamber. [Exeunt SirToBY and MARIA. Clo. Hey Robin, jolly Robin, Tell me how thy lady does. [Singing. Mal. Fool, Clo. My lady is unkind, perdý. Clo. Alas, why is she so? Clo. She loves another Who calls, ha? Mal. Good fool, as ever thou wilt deserve well at my hand, help me to a candle, and pen, ink, and paper; as I am a gentleman, I will live to be thankful to thee for't. Clo. Master Malvolio'! Clo. Alas, sir, how fell you besides your five Mal. Sir Topas, never was man thus wrong-wits? ed; good sir Topas, do not think I am mad; they have laid me here in hideous darkness. Clo, Fie, thou, dishonest Sathan! I call thee by the most modest terms; for I am one of those gentle ones, that will use the devil himself with courtesy: Say'st thou, that house is dark? Mul. As hell, sir Topas. Clo. Why, it hath bay-windows transparent as barricadoes, and the clear stones towards the south-north are as lustrous as ebony; and yet complainest thou of obstruction? Mal. I am not mad, sir Topas; I say to you, this house is dark. Cio. Madman, thou errest: I say, there is no darkness, but ignorance; in which thou art more puzzled, than the Egyptians in their fog. Mal. I say, this house is as dark as ignorance, though ignorance were as dark as hell; and I say, there was never man thus abused: I am no more mad than you are; make the trial of it in any constant question. Clo. What is the opinion of Pythagoras concerning wild-fowl? * Disguise. + Confederates. Any other gem, as a Topaz. Mal. Fool, there was never man so hotoriously abused: I am as well in my wits, fool, as thou art. Clo. But as well? then you are mad indeed, if you be no better in your wits than a fool. Mal. They have here propertied me**; keep me in darkness, send ministers to me, asses, and do all they can to face me out of my wits. Clo. Advise you what you say; the minister is here. Malvolio, Malvolio, thy wits the heavens restore! endeavour thyself to sleep, and leave thy vain bibble babble. Mal. Sir Topas, Clo. Maintain no words with him, good f ellow. Who, I, sir? not I, sir. God b'wi'you, good sir Topas. Marry, amen.-I will, sir, I will. Mal.: Fool, fool, fool, I say. Clo. Alas, sir, be patient. What say yon, sir? I am shent for speaking to you. Mal. Good fool, help me to some light, and some paper; I tell thee, I am as well in my wits as any man in Illyria. sense, Mal. By this hand, I am: Good fool, some | His counsel now might do me golden service: ink, paper, and light, and convey what I will For though my soul disputes well with my set down to my lady; it shall advantage thee more than ever the bearing of letter did. Clo. I will help you to't. But tell me true, are you not mad indeed? or do you but counterfeit? That this may be some error, butino: madness, Take, and give back, affairs, and their despatch, As, I perceive, she does: there's something in't, Oli. Blame not this haste of mine: If you Now go with me, and with this holy man, ACT V. Fab. Any thing. Clo. Do not desire to see this letter. Fab. That is, to give a dog, and, in recompense, desire my dog again. Enter DUKE, VIOLA, and Attendants. Duke. Belong you to the lady Olivia,friends? Clo. Ay, sir; we are some of her trappings. Duke. I know thee well; How dost thou, my good fellow?" ;} Clo. Truly, sir, the better for my foes, and he worse for my friends. Duke. Just the contrary; the better for thy triends. Clo. No, sir, the worse. Duke. How can that be? Clo. Marry, sir, they praiše me, and make an ass of me; now my foes tell me plainly I am an ass so that by my foes, sir, I profit in the knowledge of myself; and by my friends I am abused: so that, conclusions to be as kisses, if your four negatives make your two affirmatives, why, then the worse for my friends, and the better for my foes. Duke. Why, this is excellent. ⠀? Clo. By my troth, sir, no; though it please you to be one of my friends. Duke. Thou shalt not be the worse for me; there's gold. sir, Clo. But that it would be double-dealing, would you could make it another. Duke. O, you give me ill counsel.. Clo. Put your grace in your pocket, sir, for this once, and let your flesh and blood obey it. Duke. Well, I will be so much a sinner to be a double dealer; there's another. • A buffoon character in the old plays, and father of the modern harlequin. ↑ Account. Reason. § Belief, || Servants. ¶ Little chapel.. ** Until. Clo. Primo, secundo, tertio, is a good play; and the old saying is, the third pays for all: the triplex, sir, is a good tripping measure; or the bells of St. Bennet, sir, may put you in mind; One, two, three. Duke. You can fool no more money out' of me at this throw: if you will let your lady know, I am here to speak with her, and bring her along with you, it may awake my bounty further. Clo. Marry, sir, lullaby to your bounty, till I come again. I go, sir; but I would not have you to think, that my desire of having is the sin of covetousness: but, as you say, sir, let your bounty take a nap, I will awake it anon. [Brit Clown. Enter ANTONIO and Officers. Vio. Here comes the man, sir, that did res cue me.. 1 Duke. That face of his I do remember well; Yet, when I saw it last, it was besmear'd As black as Vulcan, in the smoke of war: A bawbling vessel was he captain of, For shallow draught, and bulk, unprizable; With which such seathful grapple did he make With the most noble bottom of our fleet, That very envy, and the tongue of loss, Cry'd fame and honour on him. What's the 1Off. Orsino, this is that Antonio, [matter? That took the Phoenix, and her fraught t, from And this is he, that did the Tiger board, [Candy; When your young nephew Titus lost his leg: Here in the streets, desperate of shaine, and In private brabble did we apprehend him.[state, Vio. He did me kindness, sir; drew on my side; [me, But, in conclusion, put strange speech upon I know not what 'twas, but distraction.. Duke. Notable pirate! thou salt-water thief! What foolish boldness brought thee to their mercies, Whom thou, in terms so bloody, and so dear, Vio. Ant. To-day, my lord; and for three month (No interim, not a minute's vacancy), [before Both day and night did we keep company. Enter OLIVIA and Attendants. Duke. Here comes the countess; now heave walks on earth. [madness But for thee, fellow, fellow, thy words an Three months this youth hath tended upon me But more of that anon.Take him aside. Oli. What would my lord,but that he may no Wherein Olivia may seem serviceable?--[hav Cesario, you do not keep promise with me. Vio. Madam? Duke. Gracious Olivia,- [my lord, Oli. What do you say, Cesario?- -Goo Vio.My lord would speak,myduty hushes me Oli. If it be aught to the old tune, my lord It is as fatt and fulsome to mine ear, As howling after musick. · Duke. Still so cruel? Oli. Still so constant, lord. [lady Duke. What! to perverseness? you uncivi To whose ingrate and unauspicious altars [on My soul the faithfull'st offerings hath breath' That e'er devotion tender'd! What shall I do Oli. Even what it please my lord, that shal become him. .113 [do it Duke. Why should I not, had I the heart t Like to the Egyptian thief, at point of death, Kill what I love; a savage jealousy, [this That sometime savours nobly? But hear me Since you to non regardance cast my faith, And that I partly know the instrument [favour That screws me from my true place in you Live you, the marble-breasted tyrant, still; But this your minion, whom, I know, you love And whom, by heaven, I swear, I tender dearly Him will I tear out of that cruel eye, Where he sits crowned in his master's spite.Come, boy, with me; my thoughts are ripe in I'll sacrifice the lamb that I do love, [mischief: To spite a raven's heart within a dove. [Going Vio. And I, most jocund, apt, and willingly To do you rest, a thousand deaths would die. [Following Oli. Where goes Cesario? Vio. After him I love, More than I love these eyes, more than my life, More, by all mores, than e'er I shall love wife: If I do feign, you witnesses above,!! Punish my life, for tainting of my love! Oli. Ah me, detested! how am I beguild! Vio. Who does beguile you? who does do you wrong? Oli. Hast thou forgot thyself! Is it so long! Call forth the holy father. [Exit an Attendant Duke. Come away. [TO VIOL Oli, Whither, my lord Cesario, husband, Duke. Husband? 9 it " [stay. Oli. Ay, husband; Can he that deny f Duke. Her husband, sirrah?.. No my lord, not I. Oli. Alas, it is the baseness of thy fear, That makes thee strangle thy propriety Fear not, Cesario, take thy fortunes up; Be that thou know'st thou art, and then thon art Dull, gross. Vio. Disown thy property. As great as that thou fear'st.-0, welcome, Re-enter Attendant and Priest, When time hath sow'd a grizzle on thy case* ? Sir And. For the love of God, a surgeon; Sir And. He has broke my head across, the Duke. My gentleman, Cesario! Sir And, Od's lifelings, here he is-You Enter Sir TOBY BELCH, drunk, led by the you? Sir And. I'll help yon, sir Toby, because we'll be dressed together. ấy 5 pov Sir To. Will you help an ass-head, and a coxcomb, and a knave? a thin-faced knave, a gull? Oli. Get him to bed, and let his hurt be look'd to. -- 1 [Exeunt Clown, Sir TOBY, and Sir ANDREW. Enter SEBASTIAN. Seb, I am sorry, madam, I have hurt your kinsman; But, had it been the brother of my blood, Ant. Sebastian are you? Seb. Fear'st thou that, Antonio? Seb. Do stand there? I never had a Of charity,what kin are you to me ?[ToVIOLA. Vio. Of Messaline: Sebastian was my father; But am in that dimension grossly elad, Vio. My father had a mole upon his brow. ་་ Seb. O, that record is lively in my soul!.. Here comes sir Toby halting, you shall hear more: but if he had not been in drink, he would Vio. If nothing lets to make us happy both, have tickled you othergatest than he did. But this my masculine usurp'd attire, Duke. How now, gentleman? how is't with Do not embrace me, till each circumstance Sir To. That's all one; he has hurt me, That I am Viola: which to confirm, toul Of place, time, fortune, do cohere, and jump, and there's the end on't. Sot, did'st see Dick I'll bring you to a captain in this town, [help surgeon, sot? froud of initWhere lie my maiden weeds; by whose gentle Clo. O he's drunk, sir Toby, an hour agone; I was preserv'd, to serve this noble count: eyes were set at eight i'the morning. Sir To. Then he's a rogue. After a passy-Hath been between this lady, and this lord. All the occurrence of my fortune since. Beasure, or a pavint, I hate a drunken rogne. Oli Away with him :. Who hath made this havock with them? • Skin. Seb. So comes it, dady, you have been o mistook it [ToOLIVIA. But nature to her bias drew in that. .busuk + + Otherways. Serious dances. Out of charity tell me. .95i0V • You would have been contracted to a maid; Duke.o Ŏli. He shall enlarge him :-Fetch Malvolio Clo. Truly, madam, he holds Belzebub at the stave's end, as well as a man in his case may do he has here writ a letter to you, I should have given it you to-day morning; but as a madman's epistles are no gospels, so it skills not much, when they are delivered. Oli. Open it, and read it. Clo. Look then to be well edified, when the fool delivers the madman:-By the lord, madam, Oli. How now! art thou mad? Clo. No, madam, I do but read madness: an your ladyship will have it as it ought to be, you must allow vox*. Oli. Pr'ythee, read i'thy right wits. Clo. So I do, madonna; but to read his right wits, is to read thus: therefore perpend +, my princess, and give ear. Oli. Read it you, sirrah. [TO FABIAN. Fab. [reads.] By the Lord, madam, you wrong me, and the world shall know it: though you have put me into darkness, and given your drunken cousin rule over me, yet have I the benefit of my senses as well as your ladyship. I have your own letter that induced me to the semblance I put on; with the which I doubt not but to do myself much right, or you much shame. Think of me as you please. I leave my duty a little unthought of, and speak out of my injury. The madly used Malvolio. Oli. Did he write this? Clo. Ay, madam. One day shall crown the alliance on't, so Here at my house, and at my proper cost. your offer. [your service done him, A sister?-you are she. Oli Ay, my lord, this same : How now, Malvolio? Madam, you have done me wrong, Oli. Alas, Malvolio, this is not my writing, 1 Upon thee in the letter. Pr'ythee, be content; Fab. Good madam, hear me speak; And let no quarrel, nor no brawl to come, Taint the condition of this present hour, [not, Which I have wonder'd at. In hope it shall Most freely I confess, myself, and Toby, Set this device against Malvolio here, Upon some stubborn and uncourteous parts We had conceiv'd against him: Maria writ The letter, at sir Toby's great importance ¶; In recompense whereof, he hath married her. How with a sportful malice it was follow'd, May rather pluck on laughter than revenge; If that the injuries be justly weigh'd, Duke. This savours not much of distraction. That have on both sides past. [thee! Oli. See him deliyer'd, Fabian; bring him Oli. Alas, poor fool! how have they baffled •• Ahither. [Exit FABIAN.Clo, Why, Some are born great, some My lord, so please you, these things further achieve greatness, and some have greatness To think me as well a sister as a wife, thought on, thrown upon them. I was one, sir, in this |