SCENE II, A Room in Olivia's House.

Enter MARIA and Clown. Mar. Nay, I pr'ythee, put on this gown, and this beard; make him believe, thou art sir Topas the curate; do it quickly: I'll call sir Toby the whilɛt. [Exit MARIA. Clo. Well, Pll put it on, and I will dissemble myself in't; and I would I were the first that ever dissembled in such a gown. I am not fat enough to become the function well; nor lean enough to be thought a good student: but to be said, an honest man, and a good housekeeper, goes as fairly, as to say, a careful man, and a great scholar. The competitorst

enter.

Enter Sir TOBY BELCH and MARIA. Sir To. Jove bless thee, master parson. Clo. Bonos dies, sir Toby: for, as the old hermit of Prague, that never saw pen and ink, very wittily said to a niece of king Gorboduc, That, that is, is: so I, being master parson, am master parson; For what is that, but that? and is, but is?

Sir To. To him, sir. Topas.

Clo. What, hoa, I say,-Peace in this prison! Sir To. The knave counterfeits well; a good: knave.

Mal, in an inner chamber.] Who calls there ?

Clo. Sir Topas, the curate, who comes to visit Malvolio the lunatic.

Mal. Sir Topas, sir Topas, good sir Topas, go to my lady.

915

Clo. Out, hyperbolical fiend! how vexest thou this man? talkest thou nothing but of ladies?

h

Sir To. Well said, master parson.

Mal. That the soul of our grandam might haply inhabit a bird.

Clo. What thinkest thou of his opinion? Mal. I think nobly of the soul, and no way approve his opinion.

Clo. Fare thee well: Remain thou still in
darkness: thou shalt hold the opinion of Py-
thagoras, ere I will allow of thy wits; and fear
to kill a woodcock, lest thou dispossess the
soul of thy grandam. Fare thee well.
Mal. Sir Topas, sir Topas,--

Sir To. My most exquisite sir Topas !
Clo. Nay, I am for all waters.
Mar. Thou might'st have done this without
thy beard and gown; he sees thee not.

Sir To. To him in thine own voice, and bring me word how thou findest him: I would we were well rid of this knavery. If he may be conveniently delivered, I would he were; for I am now so far in offence with my niece, that I cannot pursue with any safety this sport to the upshot. Come by and by to my chamber. [Exeunt SirToBY and MARIA. Clo. Hey Robin, jolly Robin,

Tell me how thy lady does. [Singing.

Mal. Fool,

Clo. My lady is unkind, perdý.
Mal. Fool,-

Clo. Alas, why is she so?
Mal. Fool, Isay;

Clo. She loves another Who calls, ha? Mal. Good fool, as ever thou wilt deserve well at my hand, help me to a candle, and pen, ink, and paper; as I am a gentleman, I will live to be thankful to thee for't.

Clo. Master Malvolio'!
Mal. Ay, good fool.

Clo. Alas, sir, how fell you besides your five

Mal. Sir Topas, never was man thus wrong-wits? ed; good sir Topas, do not think I am mad; they have laid me here in hideous darkness.

Clo, Fie, thou, dishonest Sathan! I call thee by the most modest terms; for I am one of those gentle ones, that will use the devil himself with courtesy: Say'st thou, that house is dark?

Mul. As hell, sir Topas.

Clo. Why, it hath bay-windows transparent as barricadoes, and the clear stones towards the south-north are as lustrous as ebony; and yet complainest thou of obstruction?

Mal. I am not mad, sir Topas; I say to you, this house is dark.

Cio. Madman, thou errest: I say, there is no darkness, but ignorance; in which thou art more puzzled, than the Egyptians in their fog. Mal. I say, this house is as dark as ignorance, though ignorance were as dark as hell; and I say, there was never man thus abused: I am no more mad than you are; make the trial of it in any constant question.

Clo. What is the opinion of Pythagoras concerning wild-fowl?

* Disguise. + Confederates. Any other gem, as a Topaz.

Mal. Fool, there was never man so hotoriously abused: I am as well in my wits, fool, as thou art.

Clo. But as well? then you are mad indeed, if you be no better in your wits than a fool.

Mal. They have here propertied me**; keep me in darkness, send ministers to me, asses, and do all they can to face me out of my wits.

Clo. Advise you what you say; the minister is here. Malvolio, Malvolio, thy wits the heavens restore! endeavour thyself to sleep, and leave thy vain bibble babble.

Mal. Sir Topas,

Clo. Maintain no words with him, good f ellow. Who, I, sir? not I, sir. God b'wi'you, good sir Topas. Marry, amen.-I will, sir, I will.

Mal.: Fool, fool, fool, I say.

Clo. Alas, sir, be patient. What say yon, sir? I am shent for speaking to you.

Mal. Good fool, help me to some light, and some paper; I tell thee, I am as well in my wits as any man in Illyria.

sense,

Mal. By this hand, I am: Good fool, some | His counsel now might do me golden service: ink, paper, and light, and convey what I will For though my soul disputes well with my set down to my lady; it shall advantage thee more than ever the bearing of letter did. Clo. I will help you to't. But tell me true, are you not mad indeed? or do you but counterfeit?

That this may be some error, butino: madness,
Yet doth this accident and flood of fortune
So far exceed all instance, all discourse t
That I am ready to distrust mine eyes, [me
And wrangle with my reason, that persuades
To any other trust, but that I am mad,
Or else the lady's mad; yet, if 'twere so,
She could not sway her house, command her
followers ||,

Take, and give back, affairs, and their despatch,
With such a smooth, discreet, and stable bear-
ing,

As, I perceive, she does: there's something in't,
That is deceivable. But here comes the lady.
Enter OLIVIA and a Priest.

Oli. Blame not this haste of mine: If you
mean well,

Now go with me, and with this holy man,
Into the chantry by: there, before him,
And underneath that consecrated roof,
Plight me the full assurance of your faith;
That my most jealous and too doubtful soul
May live at peace: He shall conceal it,
Whiles you are willing it shall come to note;
What time we will our celebration keep
According to my birth.-What do you say?
Seb. I'll follow this good man, and go with

ACT V.

Fab. Any thing.

Clo. Do not desire to see this letter. Fab. That is, to give a dog, and, in recompense, desire my dog again.

Enter DUKE, VIOLA, and Attendants. Duke. Belong you to the lady Olivia,friends? Clo. Ay, sir; we are some of her trappings. Duke. I know thee well; How dost thou, my good fellow?" ;}

Clo. Truly, sir, the better for my foes, and he worse for my friends.

Duke. Just the contrary; the better for thy triends.

Clo. No, sir, the worse.

Duke. How can that be?

Clo. Marry, sir, they praiše me, and make an ass of me; now my foes tell me plainly I am an ass so that by my foes, sir, I profit in the knowledge of myself; and by my friends I am abused: so that, conclusions to be as kisses, if your four negatives make your two affirmatives, why, then the worse for my friends, and the better for my foes.

Duke. Why, this is excellent. ⠀?

Clo. By my troth, sir, no; though it please you to be one of my friends.

Duke. Thou shalt not be the worse for me; there's gold.

sir,

Clo. But that it would be double-dealing, would you could make it another. Duke. O, you give me ill counsel.. Clo. Put your grace in your pocket, sir, for this once, and let your flesh and blood obey it. Duke. Well, I will be so much a sinner to be a double dealer; there's another.

• A buffoon character in the old plays, and father of the modern harlequin. ↑ Account. Reason. § Belief, || Servants. ¶ Little chapel.. ** Until.

After him I love, More than I love these eyes, more than my life, More, by all mores, than e'er I shall love wife: If I do feign, you witnesses above,!! Punish my life, for tainting of my love!

Oli. Ah me, detested! how am I beguild! Vio. Who does beguile you? who does do you wrong? Oli. Hast thou forgot thyself! Is it so long! Call forth the holy father. [Exit an Attendant Duke. Come away. [TO VIOL Oli, Whither, my lord Cesario, husband, Duke. Husband? 9 it " [stay. Oli. Ay, husband; Can he that deny f Duke. Her husband, sirrah?.. No my lord, not I. Oli. Alas, it is the baseness of thy fear, That makes thee strangle thy propriety Fear not, Cesario, take thy fortunes up; Be that thou know'st thou art, and then thon art Dull, gross.

As great as that thou fear'st.-0, welcome,
father!

Re-enter Attendant and Priest,
Father, I charge thee, by thy reverence,
Here to unfold (though lately we intended
To keep in darkness, what occasion now
Reveals before 'tis ripe,) what thou dost know,
Hath newly past between this youth and me.
Priest. A contract of eternal bond of love,'
Confirm'd by mutual joinder of your hands,
Attested by the holy close of lips, [rings;
Strengthen'd by interchangement of your
And all the ceremony of this compact
Seal'd in my function, by my testimony:
Since when, my watch hath told me, toward
I have travell'd but two hours. [my grave,
Duke. O, thon dissembling cub! what wilt
thou be,

When time hath sow'd a grizzle on thy case* ?
Or will not else thy craft so quickly grow,
That thine own trip shall be thine overthrow?
Farewell, and take her; but direct thy feet,
Where thou and I henceforth may never meet)
Vio. My lord, I do protest,
Oli.
O, do not swear;
Hold little faith,though thou hast too much fear.
Enter Sir ANDREW AGUE-CHEEK, with his
head broke.

Sir And. For the love of God, a surgeon;
send one presently to sir Toby.
Oli. What's the matter?

Sir And. He has broke my head across,
and has given sir Toby a bloody coxcomb
too: for the love of God, your help: I had
ather than forty pound, I were at home.
Oli. Who has done this, sir Andrew?
Sir And. The count's gentleman, one Ce.
sario: we took him for a coward, but he's
very devil incardinate.

the

Duke. My gentleman, Cesario!

Sir And, Od's lifelings, here he is-You
troke my head for nothing; and that that I
cid, I was set on to do't by sir Toby. [you:
Vio. Why do you speak to me? I never hurt
You drew your sword upon me, without cause;
But I bespake you fair, and hurt you not.
Sir And. If a bloody coxcomb be a hurt,
you have hurt me; I think, you set nothing
by a bloody coxcomb.

Enter Sir TOBY BELCH, drunk, led by the
Clown. 1 do 1

you?

Sir And. I'll help yon, sir Toby, because we'll be dressed together. ấy 5 pov

Sir To. Will you help an ass-head, and a coxcomb, and a knave? a thin-faced knave, a gull? Oli. Get him to bed, and let his hurt be look'd to. -- 1 [Exeunt Clown, Sir TOBY, and Sir ANDREW. Enter SEBASTIAN.

Seb, I am sorry, madam, I have hurt your kinsman;

But, had it been the brother of my blood,
I must have done no less, with wit, and safety.
You throw a strange regard upon me, and
By that I do perceive it hath offended you;
Pardon me, sweet one, even for the vows!
We made each other but so late ago. [persons;
Duke. One face,one voice, one habit, and two
A natural perspective, that is, and is not.
Seb. Antonio, O my dear Antonio!
How have the hours rack'd and tortur'd me,
Since I have lost thee.

Ant. Sebastian are you?

Seb.

Fear'st thou that, Antonio?
Ant, How have you made division of your.
An apple, cleft in two, is not moretwin [self?
Than these two creatures. Which is Sebastian?
Oli. Most wonderful!
[brother:

Seb. Do stand there? I never had a
Of here and every where. I had a sister,
Nor can there be that deity in my nature,
Whom the blind waves and surges have
devour'd:-

Of charity,what kin are you to me ?[ToVIOLA.
What countryman? what name? what pa-
rentage?

Vio. Of Messaline: Sebastian was my father;
So went he suited to his watery tomb:
Such a Sebastian was my brother too,
If spirits can assume both form and suit
You come to fright us.

But am in that dimension grossly elad,
Seb.
A spirit I am, indeed;
Which from the womb I did participate..
Were you a woman, as the rest goes even,
I should my tears let fall upon your cheek,
And say-Thrice welcome, drowned Viola!

Vio. My father had a mole upon his brow.
Seb. And so had mine.
[birth
Vio. And died that day when Viola from her
Had number'd thirteen years.

་་

Seb. O, that record is lively in my soul!..
He finished, indeed, his mortal act,
That day that made my sister thirteen years.

Here comes sir Toby halting, you shall hear more: but if he had not been in drink, he would Vio. If nothing lets to make us happy both, have tickled you othergatest than he did. But this my masculine usurp'd attire, Duke. How now, gentleman? how is't with Do not embrace me, till each circumstance Sir To. That's all one; he has hurt me, That I am Viola: which to confirm, toul Of place, time, fortune, do cohere, and jump, and there's the end on't. Sot, did'st see Dick I'll bring you to a captain in this town, [help surgeon, sot? froud of initWhere lie my maiden weeds; by whose gentle Clo. O he's drunk, sir Toby, an hour agone; I was preserv'd, to serve this noble count: eyes were set at eight i'the morning. Sir To. Then he's a rogue. After a passy-Hath been between this lady, and this lord. All the occurrence of my fortune since. Beasure, or a pavint, I hate a drunken rogne. Oli Away with him :. Who hath made this havock with them?

• Skin.

Seb. So comes it, dady, you have been o mistook it [ToOLIVIA. But nature to her bias drew in that. .busuk +

+ Otherways. Serious dances. Out of charity tell me.

.95i0V •
|| Hinders.

You would have been contracted to a maid;
Nor are you therein, by my life, deceiv'd,
You are betroth'd both to a maid and man.
Duke. Be not amaz’d; right noble is his
If this be so,as yet the glass seems true,[blood.-
I shall have share in this most happy wreck
Boy, thou hast said to me a thousand times,
[TO VIOLA.
Thon never should'st love woman like to me.
Vio. And all those sayings will I over-swear;
And all those swearings keep as true in soul,
As doth that orbed continent the fire
That severs day from night.

Duke.o
Give me thy hand;
And let me see thee in thy woman's weeds.
Vio. The captain, that did bring me first on
al shore,
[action,
Hath my maid's garments: he, upon some
Is now in durance; at Malvolio's suit,
A gentleman, and follower of my lady's.

Ŏli. He shall enlarge him :-Fetch Malvolio
And yet, alas, now I remember me, [hither:-
They say, poor gentleman, he's much distract.
Re-enter Clown, with a letter.
A most extracting frenzy of mine own
From my remembrance clearly banish'd'his.
How does he, sirrah ?

Clo. Truly, madam, he holds Belzebub at the stave's end, as well as a man in his case may do he has here writ a letter to you, I should have given it you to-day morning; but as a madman's epistles are no gospels, so it skills not much, when they are delivered.

Oli. Open it, and read it.

Clo. Look then to be well edified, when the fool delivers the madman:-By the lord, madam,

Oli. How now! art thou mad?

Clo. No, madam, I do but read madness: an your ladyship will have it as it ought to be, you must allow vox*.

Oli. Pr'ythee, read i'thy right wits. Clo. So I do, madonna; but to read his right wits, is to read thus: therefore perpend +, my princess, and give ear.

Oli. Read it you, sirrah. [TO FABIAN. Fab. [reads.] By the Lord, madam, you wrong me, and the world shall know it: though you have put me into darkness, and given your drunken cousin rule over me, yet have I the benefit of my senses as well as your ladyship. I have your own letter that induced me to the semblance I put on; with the which I doubt not but to do myself much right, or you much shame. Think of me as you please. I leave my duty a little unthought of, and speak out of my injury. The madly used Malvolio. Oli. Did he write this? Clo. Ay, madam.

One day shall crown the alliance on't, so
please you,

Here at my house, and at my proper cost.
Duke. Madam, I am most apt to embrace

your offer. [your service done him,
Your master quits you; [To VIOLA.] and, for
So much against the mettler of your sex,
So far beneath your soft and tender breeding,
And since you call'd me master for so long,
Here is my hand; you shall from this time be
Your master's mistress.
Oli. ཏི,༣།

A sister?-you are she.
Re-enter FABIAN, with MALVOLTO.
Duke. Is this the madman?

Oli

Ay, my lord, this same :

How now, Malvolio?
Mal
Notorious wrong.
Oli.
Have I, Malvolio? no.
Mal. Lady, you have. Pray you, peruse that
You must not now deny it is your hand, [letter:
Write from it, if you can, in hand, or phrase;
Or say, 'tis not your seal, nor your invention:
You can say none of this: Well, grant it then,
And tell me, in the modesty of honour, [favour;
Why you have given me such clear lights of
Bade me come smiling, and cross-garter'd to
To put on yellow stockings, and to frown [you,
Upon sir Toby, and the lighters people;
And, acting this in an obedient hope,
Why have you suffer'd me to be imprison'd,
Kept in a dark house, visited by the priest,
And made the most notorious geck, and gull,
That e'er invention play'd on? tell me why.

Madam, you have done me wrong,

Oli. Alas, Malvolio, this is not my writing,
Though, I confess, much like the character:
But, out of question, 'tis Maria's hand,
And now I do bethink me, it was she [smiling,
First told me, thou wast mad; then cam'st in
And in such forms which here were pre-e
suppos'd

1

Upon thee in the letter. Pr'ythee, be content;
This practice hath most shrewdly pass'd upon
thee;
[of it,
But, when we know the grounds and authors
Thou shalt be both the plaintiff and the judge
Of thine own cause.

Fab.

Good madam, hear me speak; And let no quarrel, nor no brawl to come, Taint the condition of this present hour, [not, Which I have wonder'd at. In hope it shall Most freely I confess, myself, and Toby, Set this device against Malvolio here, Upon some stubborn and uncourteous parts We had conceiv'd against him: Maria writ The letter, at sir Toby's great importance ¶; In recompense whereof, he hath married her. How with a sportful malice it was follow'd, May rather pluck on laughter than revenge; If that the injuries be justly weigh'd, Duke. This savours not much of distraction. That have on both sides past. [thee! Oli. See him deliyer'd, Fabian; bring him Oli. Alas, poor fool! how have they baffled •• Ahither. [Exit FABIAN.Clo, Why, Some are born great, some My lord, so please you, these things further achieve greatness, and some have greatness To think me as well a sister as a wife, thought on, thrown upon them. I was one, sir, in this