law and physic yet maintain their ground. When will quackery in both, that so often deprive men of their lives and fortunes-when will these gigantic evils be removed from society? When mankind prefer temperance to excess, and exercise to indolence, health will be promoted. And when the natural beneficence of the human heart is directed by prudence, men will not involve themselves and families in want and ruin by lawsuits.

PHYSICIANS.

The first physicians by debauch were made,
Excess began, and sloth sustains the trade.
By toil our long-liv'd fathers earn'd their food-
Toil strung their nerves and purified their blood.
The wise for cure on exercise depend:

GOD never made his works for man to mend.

DRYDEN.

Health and length of days are such inestimable blessings, that whoever can contribute to their enjoyments will be considered as a public benefactor. Hence, physicians have, in all ages, been treated with respect and confidence. Many of the medical men, whose skill and experience contribute to the happiness of their fellowcitizens by the removal of disease, have also enriched

the world of literature, not only with practical treatises on the healing art, but with useful productions in other departments of science.

A very ingenious and indefatigable philosopher, in what he calls his "Medical pneumatic Institution," informs us, that he has made a discovery which bids fair to ensure the duration, if not the perfectibility, of man. How much superior is this effort of English genius to any improvement hitherto made on the Continent! A modern French chemist, indeed, has found out a mode of preserving dead bodies; but our more enlightened countryman can preserve bodies alive.

As mere existence, however, would not confer happiness, this sage has found, by blissful experience, that his panacea căn, at once, revivify the frame, and fill the mind with the most delightful ideas, Lest the reader should feel an unpleasing impatience to learn the name of this wonderful restorative, be it known to all whom it may concern, that this universal medicine is air! -yes, my good-natured friends, it is air :-but not that common effluvia of butchers' stalls or cheesemongers' shops which you have been so long necessitated to inhale in your excursions through this capital;-it is air in its

most unadulterate and spirituous state, purified by chemistry from every particle of corruption !

This invaluable oxygen gas, or rather quintessence of air, will, when it comes into general use, promote temperance, sobriety, and industry, in our populous towns, especially the metropolis; and the time now occupied in short excursions to the country, for the benefit of pure air, may be employed to more advantage at home, as the valetudinarian may soon recover his health by the daily inspiration of a small quantity of this aërial cordial.

This excellent medicine will be more efficacious than all the other famous remedies of the age. The botanical syrup; the balm of gilead; the lozenges of steel; with the rest of the miraculous nostrums of the day, will soon fall into disrepute when put in competition with refined ether. We must regret, indeed, that this invaluable remedy bids fair to ruin all those benign quacks who have so long devoted their researches to the good of the public. Poor men! what will become of them ?— It would be worthy of the national munificence to raise a subscription for the purpose of building a receptacle for those destitute beings, to be called the Asylum for Unfortunate Quacks.

Might not the general use of this joy-inspiring ether render our expensive public amusements unnecessary? Its titilating effect far excels our modern farces in raising pleasurable ideas. Risibility may now be studied as a science; and by the administration of different quantities of the doctor's merry gas, every gradation of mirth may be attained from the gentle titter of the coquet, to the obstreperous roar of the country 'squire.

Perhaps the philosophic discoverer of this cordial may, by farther experiments, obtain an etherial substance sufficiently invigorating to support animal existence without having recourse to the grosser elements for subsistence. Then indeed, like the cameleon, we might be said to live on air, nor would there be any danger of riots on account of the high price of provisions.

Our epicures, however, might object to this light food, and still prefer gross turtle, venison, or even roast beef, to the doctor's ambrosia. But when we reflect how our gaiety is suspended during the process of concoction, we must rejoice that there is a sage in existence able to provide aliment which, instead of promoting indolence, stimulates to activity, and exhilarates to mirth.

The doctor says, that "under a certain administration of this gas, sleep may possibly be dispensed with;"

he intends to oppose it to the decays of nature, and he is himself so much re-invigorated by this grand restorative, that "his morning alertness equals that of a healthy boy." It must be evident to every intelligent reader, that this sage far excels all other chemists; if he has not, like Prometheus, brought down celestial fire to animate the human form, he may justly claim the merit of a discovery which will effectually prevent dissolution. We may now hope to enjoy the terrestrial immortality hinted at by modern sages; while old age and death are for ever banished from the haunts of man!

But, however delightful the prolongation of life may be to the community in general, there are a few selfish individuals who will be little obliged to the doctor for his discovery. Young heirs who are impatiently waiting for the decease of their parents, and hen-pecked husbands who wear the galling chains of matrimony, will, doubtless, execrate that philosophy which disappoints their hopes of the removal of those inimical to their happiness. But such partial grievances are inconsiderable, when compared with the universality of the benefit held out to mankind.

By inhaling this ecstatic ether, the most delicate bloom will adorn the cheeks of our ladies, who now in vain