MY wife and daughter arrived here fafe and found on Thursday, and are in high raptures with the fpeed and pleafantnefs of their journey, and particularly of all they fee and meet with here. But in their journey from York to Paris no thing has given them a more fenfible and lating pleasure, than the marks of kindnets they received from you and Mrs. E. -The friendthip, good-will, and politenefs of my two friends I never doubted to me, or mine, and I return you both all a grateful man is capable of, which is merely my thanks. I have taken, however, the liberty of fending an Indian taffety, which Mrs. E. muit do me the honour to wear for my wife's fake, who would have got it made up, but that Mr. Stanhope, the Conful of Algiers, who fets off to-morrow morning for London, has been fo kind (I mean his lady) as to take charge of it; and we had but just time to procure it: and had we miffed that opportunity, as we fhould have been obliged to have left it behind us at Paris, we knew not when or how to get it to our friend.-I wish it had been better worth a paragraph. If there is any thing we can buy or procure for you here (intelligence included), you have a right to command me for I am your's, with my wife and girl's kind love to you and Mrs. E. LETTER XII. Mr. Sterne to Mr. Foley, at Paris. Toulouse, My dear Foley, August 14, 1762. Α FTER many turnings (alias digreffions), to fay nothing of downright overthrows, ftops, and delays, we have arrived in three weeks at Touloufe, and are now fettled in our houfes with fer 10 vants, &c. about us, and look as com pofed as if we had been here seven years. -In our journey we fuffered fo mech from the heats, it gives me pain to remember it.-I never faw a cloud from Paris to Nifmes half as broad as a twentyfour fols piece.-Good God! we were toafted, roafted, grill'd, ftew'd and cr bonaded on one fide or other all the way -and being all done enough (affez cuite) in the day, we were eat up at night by bugs, and other unfwept out vermin, the legal inhabitants (if length of peletion gives right) of every inn we lay at-C you conceive a worfe accident than tha in fuch a journey, in the hottest day and hour of it, four miles from either tree c fhrub which could caft a fhade of the fiz of one of Eve's fig-leaves-that we fodd break a hind wheel into ten thousand pieces, and be obliged in confequence to fit five hours on a gravelly road, witheer one drop of water, or poffibility of get ting any?-To mend the matter, my two poftilions were two dough-hearted fo and fell a crying-Nothing was to be done! By heaven, quoth I, pulling of my coat and waistcoat, fomething fal be done, for I'll thrash you both withs an inch of your lives and then make yo take each of you a horfe, and ride İke two devils to the next poft for a carta carry my baggage, and a wheel to carry ourfelves.-Our luggage weighed quintals-'twas the fair of Baucairethe world was going, or returning-we were afk'd by every foul who pais'd br us, if we were going to the fair of Baecaire-No wonder, quoth I, we have goods enough! Vous avez raifen, an amis. Well! here we are after all, my dear friend-and moft deliciously placed at the extremity of the town, in an excellent houfe well furnished, and elegant beyond any thing I look'd for- 'Tis built in the form of a hotel, with a pretty court towards the town—and behind, the be garden in Touloufe, laid out in ferpentine walks, and fo large that the company in our quarter ufually come to walk there in the evenings, for which they have my confent- the more the merrier." The houfe confifts of a good julle à manger above flairs joining to the very great falle à compagnie as large as the Baron d'Holbach's; three handiome bed-chanbers with dreffing-rooms to them-below airs two very good rooms for myfelf, campaign-and I hope to have a hand in one to study in, the other to fee com- difperfing the remainder the first time my pany. I have moreover cellars round the dear coulin fets up his banners again uncourt, and all other offices-Of the fame der the fquare tower-But what art landlord I have bargained to have the thou meditating with axes and hammers? ufe of a country-houfe which he has two I know the pride and the naughtimiles out of town, fo that myself and all" nefs of thy heart," and thou loveit the my family have nothing more to do than fweet vifions of architraves, friezes and to take our hats and remove from the one pediments with their tympanums, and to the other My landlord is moreover thou haft found out a pretence, à raison to keep the gardens in order-and what de cinq cent livres fierling to be laid out in do you think I am to pay for all this? four years, &c. &c. (fo as not to be felt, neither more or lefs than thirty pounds a which is always added by the d ———-1 as a year-all things are cheap in proportion bait) to juftify thyself unto thyfelf-It -fo we fhall live for very very little.-I may be very wife to do this - but 'tis dined yesterday with Mr. H ; he is wifer to keep one's money in one's pockmoft pleasantly fituated, and they are all et, whilft there are wars without and ruwell. As for the books you have remours of wars within. St. -- advises seived for D, the bookfeller was a his difciples to fell both coat and waistfool not to fend the bill along with them coat and go rather without fhirt or I will write to him about it. I wish you fword, than leave no money in their scrip was with me for two months; it would to go to Jerufalem with-Now thofe cure you of all evils ghoftly and bodily quatre ans confecutifs, my dear Anthony, -but this, like many other wishes both are the most precious morfels of thy life for you and myfelf, muft have its com- to come (in this world), and thou wilt do pletion elsewhere-Adieu, my kind friend, well to enjoy that morfel without cares, and believe that I love you as much from calculations, and curfes, and damns, and inclination as reason, for I am most truly debts-for as fure as ftone is ftone, and your's. mortar is mortar, &c. 'twill be one of the many works of thy repentance-But after all, if the Fates have decreed it, as you and I have fome time fuppofed it on account of your generofity," that you are "never to be a monied man," the decree will be fulfilled whether you adorn your caftle and line it with cedar, and paint it within fide and without fide with vermilion, or not et cela etant (having a bottle of Frontiniac and glafs at my right hand) I drink, dear Anthony, to thy health and happiness, and to the final accomplithments of all thy lunary and sublunary projects. For fix weeks together, after I wrote my laft letter to you, my projects were many ftories higher, for I was all that time, as I thought, journeying on to the other world-I fell ill of an epidemic vile fever which killed hundreds about me -The phyficians here are the erranteft charlatans in Europe, or the moft ignorant of all pretending fools-[ withdrew what was left of me out of their hands, and recommended my affairs entirely to Dame Nature - She (dear goddefs) has faved me in fifty different pinching bouts, and I begin to have a kind of enthufiafm now in her favour, and in my own, that one or two more escapes will My wife and girl join in compliments to you-My best refpects to my worthy Baron d'Holbach and all that fociety Remember me to my friend Mr. Panchaud, LETTER XIII. Mr. Sterne to J-H-S-, Esq. My Dear H. Toulouse, O&t. 19, 1762. I RECEIVED your letter yesterday fo it has been travelling from Crazy Caftle to Touloufe full eighteen days-If I had nothing to ftop me I would engage to fet out this morning, and knock at Crazy Calle gates in three days lefs time by which time I should fir you and the Colonel, Panty, &c. all alone-the feafon I molt with and like to be with you -I rejoice from my heart, down to my reins, that you have fnatch'd fo many happy and funfhiny days out of the hands of the blue devils-If we live to meet and join our forces as heretofore, we will give thefe gentry a drubbing-and turn them for ever out of their ufurped citadelfome legions of them have been put to flight already by your operations this last make make me believe I fhall leave you all at laft by tranflation, and not by fair death. I am now ftout and foolish again as a happy man can wish to be-and am bufy playing the fool with my uncle Toby, whom I have got foufed over head and ears in love.-I have many hints and projects for other works; all will go on I truft as I wish in this matter.-When I have reaped the benefit of this winter at Touloufe-I cannot fee I have any thing more to do with it; therefore after having gone with my wife and girl to Bagnieres, I thall return from whence I came - -Now my wife wants to ftay another year to fave money, and this oppofition of wishes, though it will not be as four as lemon, yet 'twill not be as fweet as fugar-candy.-I with T- would lead Sir Charles to Touloufe; 'tis as good as any town in the South of France for my own part, 'tis not to my tafte-but I believe, the ground-work of my ennui is more to the eternal platitude of the French character-little variety, no originality in it at all-than to any other caufe for they are very civil- but civility itfelf, in that uniform, wearies and bodders one to death-If I do not mind, I fhall grow moft ftupid and fententiousMits Shandy is hard at it with mufic, dancing, and French speaking, in the laft of which the does à merveille, and speaks it with an excellent accent, confidering fhe practifes within fight of the Pyrenean mountains. If the fnows will fuffer me, I propofe to spend two or three months at Barege, or Bagnieres, but my dear wife is against all fchemes of additional expences-which wicked propensity (though not of defpotic power) yet I cannot fuffer -though by the bye laudable enoughBut he may talk-I will do my own way, and the will acquiefce without a word of debate on the fubject.—Who can say fo much in praife of his wife? Few I trow. M is out of town vintaging-fo write to me, Monfieur Sterne gentilhomme Anglois-'twill find me-We are as much out of the road of all intelligence here as at the Cape of Good Hope-fo write a long nonfenfical letter like this, now and then, to me-in which fay nothing but what may be fhewn (though I love every paragraph and fpirited stroke of your pen, others might not), for you must know, a letter no fooner arrives from England, but curiofity is upon her knees to know the contents. -Adieu, dear H. believe m your affectionate, &c. We have had bitter cold weather het thefe fourteen days-which has oblig us to fit with whole pagells of wood g but every thing else being extreme cher ed up to our nofestis a dear articleMadame keeps an excellent good t with foupe, bouilli, roti,&c. &c. furn hundred and fifty pounds a year. I LETTER XIV. Mr. Sterne to Mr. Foley, as Par My dear Foley, HAVE had this week your letter on my table, and hope you will forgive not anfwering it fooner-and even toda I can but write you ten lines, being a gaged at Mrs. M-'s. I would not on one poft more acknowledging the favou In a few posts I will write you a long or gratis, that is for love-Thank you having done what I defired you—indiv the future direct to me under cover Monfieur Brouffe's-I receive all lete through him, more punctual and fo than when left at the poft-houfe-— H's family greet you with -we are much together, and never fa get you-forget me not to the Bar circleand all the circle-nor to your domes -and in a country, where he can as foon LETTER XVI. My dear Foley, Toulouse, Dec. 17, 1762. THE poft after I wrote laft, I received your's with the inclofed draught upon he receiver, for which I return you all hanks- I have received this day likewife he box and tea all fafe and found-fo we hall all of us be in our cups this Christnas, and drink without fear or tint. laft week with us-they will be with me all the holidays.-In fummer we shall vifit them, and fo balance hofpitalities. Adieu, your's moft truly. We begin to live extremely happy, and tre all together every night-fiddling, aughing, and finging, and cracking okes. You will fcarce believe the news I tell you-There are a company of English strollers arrived here, who are to act comedies all the Christmas, and are now bufy in making dreffes and preparing fome of our best comedies-Your wonder will cease, when I inform you thefe ftrollers are your friends with the rest of our fociety, to whom I propofed this fcheme foulagement-and I affure you we do well.-The next week, with a grand orchestra, we play the Bufy Body-and the Journey to London the week after; but I have fome thoughts of adapting it to our fituation-and making it the Journey to Toulouse, which, with the change of half a dozen fcenes, may be easily done. Thus, my dear F. for want of fomething better we have recourfe to ourfelves, and strike out the best amusements we can from fuch materials. My kind love and friendship to all my true friends -My fervice to the reft. H's family have just left me, having been this LETTER Dear Foley, XVII. Toulouse, THOUGH that's a mistake! I mean the date of the place, for I write at Mr. H-'s in the country, and have been there with my people all the week in your's to him-faith but fo fo-the "How does Triftram do?" you fay though that is a fecond lie-for poverty worst of human maladies is povertyof fpirit is worse than poverty of purfe by ten thousand per cent.-I inclofe you a remedy for the one, a draught of a hundred and thirty pounds, for which I infift upon a refcription by the very return -or I will fend you and all your com miffaries to the d-1-1 do not hear they have tafted of one fleshy banquet all this Lent-you will make an excellent grillé, P- they can make nothing of him, but bouillon-I mean my other two friends no ill-fo fhall fend them a reprieve, as they acted out of neceffity-not choice My kind refpects to Baron D'Holbach, and all his houfehold-Say all that's kind for me to my other friends-you know how much, dear Foley, I am your's. I have not five louis to vapour with in this land of coxcombs-My wife's compliments. - LETTER XVIII. From the fame to the fame. Dear Foley, Touloufe, April 18, 1763. THANK you for your punctuality in fending me the refcription, and for your box by the courier, which came fafe by laft poft.-I was not furprised much with your account of Lord ***** being obliged to give way and for the rest, all follows in courfe.-I fuppofe you will endeavour to fish and catch fomething for yourfelf in thefe troubled waters - at least I wish you all a reasonable man can with for himfelf-which is withing enough for you-all the reft is in the brain-Mr. Woodhoufe (whom you know) is alfo here he is a molt amiable worthy man, and I have the pleasure of having him much make me believe I fhall leave you all at laf by tranlation, and not by fair death. I am now ftout and foolish again as a happy man can with to be-and am buy playing the fool with my uncle Toby, whom I have got foufed over head and ears in love.-I have many hints and projects for other works; all will go on I tre as I with in this matter.-When I have reaped the benefit of this winter at Todouie-I cannot fee I have any thing more to do with it; therefore after having gone with my wife and girl to Bag meres. I thall return from whence I ca New my wife wants to ftay and year to fave money, and this opr of wines, though it will not be as lemon, yet 'twill not be a fogar-candy.-I with TSir Charles to Touloute; 'ti any town in the South of Fr own part, 'tis not to my t lieve, the ground-work more to the eternal French character-litt mountains I propoie Barege, is again pencesnot of -the Bat f and deb 2 contents.— Adieu us to fit wi Mad wi dear, September 4, 1764 dear Anthony-I do ink a week or ten days playing fellow (at this very time) at rough fo abominable a thing-bat an could get there cleverly, and foul in his houfe in the mind to try could be done in furtherance thereI have no one to confult in this af ir-therefore, as a man may do work things, the English of all which is this, that I am going to leave a few poor theep here in the wildernefs for fourteen daysa and from pride and naughtiness of hear. red to go fee what is doing at Scarbo at rough-fted faftly meaning afterwards to par lead a new life, and ftrengthen my faith. girl-Now fome folk fay there is much company there-and fome fay not-and I be lieve there is neither the one or the other ke the have a make no not etimes the most s of you, L to fee quetry in enough to guittar for drawing made to ber time about me as to a comes into set it will be natuematifm contigo to Bagnieres pped for want of but will be both, if the world will have but a month's patience or fo.-No, my dear H—, I did not delay fending your letter directly to the poft.-As there are critical times, or rather turns and revolutions in *** humours, I knew not what the delay of an hour might hazard I will anfwer for him, he has feventy times feven forgiven you-and as often wifh'd you at the d—1.—After many of cillations the pendulum will reft firm ever. I send all kind compliments to Sir C. D and G-s. I love them from my foul.-If G— t is with you, hi alfo.-I go on, not rapidly, but well enough with my uncle Toby's amours There is no fitting, and cudgelling one all be as open as brains whilst the fun fhines bright-'t ched at the Am- be all over in fix or feven weeks, and -Hezekiah-(an odd there are difmal months enow after to eff will fay). There dure fuffocation by a brimstone fire-fide If you can get to Scarborough, doA man who makes fix tons of alum in the fame hotel with week, may do any thing-Lord Granty is to be there- what a Your's affectionately, &c. nations, and relileave Paris in a few ey are good and geneyour mother that I hope me, and that when the alio receive a letter from other from me, and berrectionate, &c. temptation |