fully declare is not copied either from an American paper or from the Dumfries Courier :

"I send you this by express, in order that you may have the earliest intelligence of an occurrence which has given rise to very unexpected consequences. As one of our mail coaches was crossing Waterloo Bridge this afternoon, a sudden gust of wind seized the bonnet of a female passenger, who was travelling outside. Owing to the lady's great size and weight, she was prevented from being blown off, and the consequence was, that the coach was overturned, and narrowly escaped being precipitated over the bridge. Mr. Croker, who was passing on his way to the House, witnessed the accident, and was so struck with the folly of women endangering their lives by the extravagance of fashion, that he went immediately, and, with great eloquence, detailed the affair to the Parliament. The honourable gentleman concluded a speech of some length, by moving that all females throughout the kingdom should be enjoined to diminish the size of their sleeves to three feet in circumference, and their bonnets to three quarters of a yard in breadth. The motion was seconded by Sir Robert Peel, but met with a strong opposition from Mr. Hume, who stated that if this be made the statute measure, he is convinced that trade will suffer a loss of not less than several millions of yards, in silks, muslins, cambrics, gauzes, chintzes, bombazeens, &c. besides totally annihilating the whalebone, pasteboard, and ion-wire trades, three grand staples of this great commercial and enterprising country, and which formed the peroration of the learned gentleman's speech. As I close this, Lord John Russell is just rising to complain of the delay which this motion will occasion to the passing of the Reform Bill. I shall write tomorrow, to inform you what effect the important motion has produced upon the funds."

INDIAN BODY SNATCHERS.

What recks it though that corpse shall lie Within a living grave?

The bird that tears that prostrate form, Hath only robb'd the meaner worm.

BYRON.

ALTHOUGH the sentiment thus simply but eloquently poured forth by Byron, in his Bride of Abydos, be perhaps the sentiment of every philosophical mind in regard to its own corporeal coil, still there are very few who would cordially consent to see it applied to any that were once near and dear to them. In conformity with the dictates of pure reason, it may perhaps be deemed a prejudice to wish that our own last remains and those of the individuals with whom we have lived in amity and love should, when once consigned to the silent grave, be there permitted to sleep on undisturbed, and there to mingle with their kindred clay; but if it be a prejudice, it is one assuredly too generally entertained to be easily, if ever, completely eradicated. We know there are men who would as willingly give their bodies as a free-will offering to Science, as they are now devoting their minds to the well-being of society. We know there are men who, glorying in the hope of a blissful immortality, never waste a thought upon the dust and ashes to be left in a world of tears and anguish. We know there are men with minds fortified by the most valuable of all philosophy-religion, who trouble themselves but little about The Port of rest from trublous toyle,

The worldes sweet inn from paine and wearisome turmoyle; men who would submit to any thing to arrest that hellish system of wholesale murder that has lately disgraced our country, and who would overcome every personal prejudice to stop that hyæna employment of tearing at midnight the newly buried from their graves, and to abolish that brutal chaffering on the morrow about the value of the sacriligious theft! The fearful and disgusting traffic that has lately been brought to light, and which has absolutely inflicted a stain upon the British name, must instantly be looked to. The feelings of an indignant nation, no less than the calls of Science, loudly and imperatively demand it.

If, however, we are still cursed with body-snatchers in Britain, whose feelings are little above "the beasts that perish," there are

resurrectionists in Hindostan who exhibit almost as much cunning and courage as the associates of Burke and Bishop. Against the theftuous attacks of those churchyard robbers of the East, it is, in fact, difficult to provide. The grave that would there retain its tenant, must be deep, and the masonry strong; for the savage inhabitants of the jungle, ever prowling near, snuff the tainted gale, and speedily drag out the frail remnant of mortality, whose fastdecaying flesh forms their night meal, and whose craunched bones, scattered at random, are left to whiten in the sun! The following striking story, illustrative of this species of body-snatching, which occurred in the churchyard of Mattra, has been just given us by Miss Emma Robarts:—

Two

"It happened that two young men, who had been fellow-students at the India Company's Military College in England, came out, also, to India in the same ship, and, from a similarity of taste and sentiment, contracted a friendship of no ordinary kind. Upon their arrival in Bengal they travelled as far as Cawnpore, a distance of several hundred miles from Calcutta, together; but, being appointed to serve in different regiments, they separated at that place, and proceeded to their respective destinations. years elapsed, and the relief of his corps brought H to Mattra, where his friend was stationed. The tents of the regiment were pitched at some distance from the cantonments, but, as soon as his canvass abode was put in order, H dispatched a chuprasse, with a note to his old companion. The messenger was absent for a considerable period, and, as the day drew towards its close, the young officer, with all the restlessness of his age, took up his gun, and strolled towards the churchyard, where he was told he should find excellent sport. A melancholy feeling stole over his mind as he entered the sequestered spot; the sun was fast descending, and the umbrageous foliage of the trees involved a great portion of the path before him in darkness: numbers of immense vultures were perched upon the overhanging boughs and surrounding tombstones, their eyes gleaming with that peculiar expression which denotes the close vicinity of some assured repast. The yells of the jackalls, though at so early an hour, were already borne upon the breeze, and, advancing a few steps farther, he surprised three large wolves employed in tearing away the earth from a new-made grave. A shot from a double-barrelled gun stretched one of the brutes upon the ground; at the second discharge another fell; and the third escaping over the wall, Hrushed forward in pursuit, but was arrested by the sight which met his eyes. The grave had been completely excavated-the boards of the coffin rent asunder-and, dragged from its cold bed to upper earth, the uncovered corse, a ghastly spectacle, lay upon the path before him. Shuddering with horror, H stooped to replace the tattered remnants of the shroud, and, with a cry of surprise and grief, recognized the pallid and fast-decaying features of his friend. At that instant the chuprasse, whom he had sent to the cantonments, came in search of him, with a letter from the adjutant of the regiment, informing him that the officer to whom his note had been addressed had died after a brief illness, and had been buried on that morning. H- dispatched his servant a second time, to request that proper persons might be sent to re-inter the corpse, and a guard appointed to secure the grave from further molestation; he then took his melancholy station by the side of the body of his friend, scaring the wild animals with his gun as they approached the spot where it reposed. A party of Sepoys, summoned by his message, found him upon his dismal watch; and, assisting at the second consignment of the moulderiug remains to its parent earth, as the sad office was performed by torch-light, amid the screams of the disappointed vultures, and the howling of gathering wolves, he quitted the dreary scene, when assured that a sentinel would be posted at the grave, until it should be effectually closed against the attacks of beasts of prey."

PLAY-GOER.

THEATRE-ROYAL.

Mrs. CowLEY's Comedy of "THE BELLE'S STRATA GEM" was performed at this house on Saturday evening, for the first time these some years. It ranks as a production of the third or fourth rate class. With Goldsmith's Stoops to Conquer, Sheridan's School for Scandal, and Mrs. Centlivre's Wonder, and many

The

others, we could name, the Belle's Stratagem cannot bear a comparison. Letitia Hardy, and Doricourt, are the only children of two rich old parents. The old people are great friends, and they resolve that when Letitia and Doricourt are of proper age they should become man and wife. With this view, they stipulate that, should Letitia refuse Doricourt, she will forfeit to him all her father's property, and that if Doricourt should refuse Letitia, he, in like manner, should make a similar forfeit to her. young folks are separated, and do not see each other for a long time. Doricourt, on his father's death, returns from the Continent in all the vigour of youthful manhood-the pink of fashion, and the mould of form-admired by the women, and envied by the men. Letitia falls desperately in love with him, but in place, as she expected, of his manifesting any thing like a similar passion for her, his deportment is quite otherwise; he sees all her charms, and all her graces, unmoved. This, to Letitia, is not very pleasant, and as she cannot marry one in whose affections she has no place who is loved, but does not love in return, she determines, if there be spirit or invention in woman, to gain exclusive possession of Doricourt's heart. She takes rather an odd manner of going about this.

Her first stratagem is to heighten his indifference into dislike, and her reason is, that it is much easier to convert a sentiment into its opposite, than to transform indifference into tender passion. Accordingly, at her next interview with Doricourt, she perfectly succeeds. From her behaviour, his indifference is transformed into the most confirmed aversion, and, while he feels so, the disagreeable truth is ever uppermost in his mind, that by his father's settlement, he must either marry Letitia, or forfeit a large property, and be literally beggared. While brooding over his unhappy situation, he goes to a masquerade, and he there falls in love with a lady in mask, who dances divinely, whose shape is graceful, and whose air is bewitching. He declares his passion, with all ardour and enthusiasm, but, on enquiry at Mr. Flutter, the very prince of gossips, he learns, to his utter mortification, that her character is doubtful, and he abandons all notion of farther intimacy. In the hope of inducing old Mr. Hardy, to cancel the absurd agreement as to the forfeiture of his property unless he marries Letitia, Doricourt feigns madness, but this scheme is discovered and exposed. Old Hardy too feigns in his turn; he pretends to be very ill, on the verge of death, and Doricourt goes to see his old friend in his dying moments. From the taunts of his relations and the anguish of his feelings, he declares his readiness to do any thing asked of him. At this moment the lady in the mask appears; she reminds Doricourt of his professions. He taunts her with being another's. She denies the charge, takes off her mask, and then she is discovered to be Letitia herself. Doricourt is delighted. They are married, and every thing ends happily.

There is an under plot, shewing, as it were in miniature, the follies and the wickedness of fashionable life. Lady Touchwood is simple and affectionate, and the wife of a fond husband, who is anxious to lead a life of repose. Lady Touchwood, however, is beset to become a votary of fashion, and to the displeasure of her husband, she allows herself to be partly overcome. Courtall, a selfish and unprincipled rake, is defeated and exposed in an improper attempt he makes on her ladyship, and, disgusted with the follies of the fashionable world, she resumes her former virtuous and peaceful habits.

We cannot say so much for the manner this comedy was performed as we could have wished. Miss Jarman, of the Edinburgh company, and who is now no stranger in this quarter, played Letitia with great spirit and ability, and we dare say to the great pleasure of every one who saw her. Mr. Phelps, who seems a judicious actor and a gentlemanly man, played Doricourt very respectably. Miss Richardson, who does something in tragedy sensibly, wanted vivacity and sprightliness as Mrs. Racket. The Lady Touchwood, however, of Miss Mason, was a chaste performance, worthy of all praise. We think this lady much improved.

In the farce of Turn Out, Miss Jarman played Marion Ramsay, but her performance will never do with those who remember Mrs. Davidson in the same part. It was, however, very clever and amusing, as every thing is which Miss Jarman takes in hand. Mr. Alexander, as Gregory, took great pains to make curious faces; he was applauded highly by the galleries.

P.

ORIGINAL POETRY.

THE BRIDGE THAT JACK BUILT.

THE following jeu d'esprit upon the intended demolition of the Jamaica Street Bridge we insert with the best feelings towards the individuals named in it. The bridge was built by Mr. John Adams. The foundation stone having been laid by George Murdoch, Esq. the Lord Provost, as Acting Provincial Grand Master Mason, on the 29th September, 1767.

Jamaica Street Bridge.
This is the Bridge which JACK built.

The Foundation Stone.
This is the STONE

Blessed with wine, oil and corn,
Which bears up the Bridge that Jack built.
George Murdoch, Esq.

This is the PRO.-who with Masons did go,
To lay the huge STONE,

Blessed with wine, oil and corn,
Which bears up the Bridge that Jack built.
The Bridge Trustees.
These are the BROOD-who would pull down the GOOD
Which the worthy old PRO. who with Masons did go,
To lay the huge STONE,

Blessed with wine, oil and corn,
Which bears up the Bridge that Jack built.
The Civic Jobbers.

This is the DIVAN who, careless of scorn,
Incessantly labour from evening till morn,

To woo from the east the trade of the people.
Nay, pray that St. George's may be the Cross Steeple,
That stir up the BROOD that would pull down the GOOD
Which the worthy old Pro. who with Masons did go,
To lay the huge STONE,

Blessed with wine, oil and corn,
Which bears up the Bridge that Jack built.
Mr. David Bell.

This is the MAN, all courageous and brave,
Who boldly steps forward the city to save,
Who armed with a knowledge of Florence and France,
Now makes both the Baillies and Lairdies to prance;
Who would give to the Gorbals, with less toll or taxation,
A far better mode of Bridge Annexation,
Who beards the DIVAN, who, careless of scorn,
Incessantly labour from evening till morn,

To woo from the East the trade and the people.
Nay, pray that St. George's may be the Cross Steeple,
That stir up the BROOD that would pull down the GooD
Which the worthy old Pro. who with Masons did go,
To lay the huge STONE,

Blessed with wine, oil and corn,
Which bears up the Bridge that Jack built.
The Citizens of Glasgow and Gorbals.
These are the thousands who, full of affright,
Are dreaming of Clyde Spates from morning till night,
Who are plagued with the ghost of the year ninety-five,
Which just ere it vanished with a swoop did deprive,
The hopes which the Feuars, and others beside,
Had of reaching with comfort the banks of the Clyde ;
Who now worship the MAN, all courageous and brave,
Who boldly steps forward the city to save,

Who armed with a knowledge of Florence and France,
Now makes both the Baillies and Lairdies to prance;
Who would give to the Gorbals, with less debt or taxation,
A far better mode of Bridge Annexation;
Who beards the DIVAN, who, careless of scorn,
Incessantly labour from evening till morn,

To woo from the East the trade and the people.
Nay, pray that St. George's may be the Cross Steeple;
That stir up the BROOD that would pull down the GOOD
Which the worthy old PRO. who with Masons did go
To lay the huge STONE,
Blessed with wine, oil and corn,
That bears up the Bridge that JACK built!

NOTICES TO CORRESPONDENTS.

To-morrow we shall present our Readers with a paper on the case of STIRRAT, now under sentence of Death for the murder of his Aunt.

The Stanzas of X. Y. Z. do not come up to our standard. On Friday or Saturday we shall offer the lovers of real Poetry a treat -an original Poem by one of the very few Poets of the age.

In order to insure this Publication being on the Breakfast Table every morning, it is requested that intending Subscribers will leave their names and addresses at the Publisher's.

GLASGOW GOSSIP.

It is now become a common and every day question among all "classes, whether they be Reformers, or Anti-Reformers, but really who, in Glasgow, provided the Ministerial Bill should pass, could we take for our representatives?" The question, although incessantly put, is never satisfactorily answered. The fact is, there are a great lack of real business politicians among us, and We business politicians are what Glasgow wants and must have. have abundance of political quacks and chattering charlatans, but we have, really, very few plain independent common sense mercantile men who would afford the time and submit to the drudgery which the multifarious interests of this great commercial mart will necessarily demand. One thing, however, is pretty plain, that the ten pounders have more nouse and Scotch prndence about them than to support any political adventurer, who can merely string a few bombast sentences in the open air, and have no other object in view except to aggrandise themselves and minister to their own personal vanity. Bah! If we are to have a Whig let us have one of the old school; none of your modern renegados-a real fire-baptised, not a productive bread and butter, baptised politician!

There is a strange report going among the county circles, that it has been proposed to donne out the Deputy Lieutenants of Lanarkshire in scarlet coats and double epaulets. Good heavens! when will men learn to despise the aping of monkeys. Think how ridiculous it would be to meet certain of those genWe would suggest, if tlemen equipped à la Ambrose Grimshaw. such is to be the costume, that a truncheon, like that of Marshal Graham, should be carried by each Deputy, to ward off the old women and children!

The appalling disproportion that exists in this city between the marriageable men and women, as detailed in our learned Statist's valuable list, has excited considerable uneasiness among all our spinsters who are out of their teens. It is already observable, that those who have got no very striking attractions, are casting more endearing looks at the burly bachelors who have been in the habit of dining with their fathers, while those who are absolutely plain have lost all hope save that which arises from insisting upon the privilege which this year allows them on the 29th of February!

LONDON THEATRICALS. From our London Correspondent.

In my former letter, I gave you an account of the exertions making at the Patent Theatres for the entertainment of their Christmas visitors. In this I mean to confine myself to what is preparing at the Minor ones, whose late success has already led to legal sparring. The Patent Theatres, you must know, have resolved to prosecute: and the Minor proprietors have clubbed to defead. I suspect this is not the age however to obtain monoplies. If the owners of Drury and Covent Garden have erected houses fit for nothing but Spectacle, is it reasonable that they shall say to the public " you shall not go where you can hear as well as see, but you shall only go where hearing is painful?" Is it reasonable that the Patentees should succced in preventing the Minor Theatres from performing any thing but Spectacle when, by the size of their own houses, they disabled themselves from Think of that Master Brooke. The giving any thing else? new burlesque OLYMPIC will entertain their visitors with a Burletta, called Olympic Devils, or Orpheus and Eurydice in which Madame Vestris personates Orpheus. The COBOURG produces a new Pantomime, called Harlequin and the Witch of Edmonton, or Nobody and his Wife. The music by Mr. T. Hughes, and new scenery of an unusually magnificent character, representing the Falls of Niagara, painted by Mr. Phillip Phillips, The SURREY Theatre is to from sketches taken on the spot. re-open under the proprietorship and management of Mr. Osbaldiston, with a Harlequinade, called Old King Cole, or Harlequin and Fiddlers Three, with a variety of new scenery by Mr. Marshall. The ADELPHI produces a Pantomime, called Harlequin and Little Bo Peep, or the Old Woman that lived in a Shoe. The QUEEN'S Theatre announces a Pantomime of a very attractive title, The World Turned Upside Down; or, Harlequin Reformer, which, it is understood, will contain a representation of sayings and doings in St. Stephen's Chapel. The PAVILION.-The King of the Choral Island, or the Witch of the Volcano, makes its first Its success is said appearance, with new scenery and decorations.

to be certain. SADLER'S WELLS, the GARRICK, and the other Minors, are all on the alert not to be surpassed by their rival candidates for the honours conferred by the holiday folk on the successful caterers for their amusement, and if Lord Chesterfield's rule"Endeavour to please and you will please," be good for any thing, they may all hope for a fair share of holiday liberality and applause.

You see the Theatrical bouquet is everywhere prepared, and a Let me wish you and your comerry time we shall have of it. adjutors a happy new year, and if the " DAY" be as sunny as such bright spirits should make it, the public will, doubtless, wish it as I do, all the compliments of the season.

FOREIGN THEATRICAL AND MUSICAL INTELLIGENCE.

AT Venice, Mademoiselle Meyer, the famous female performer on the flute, has been playing with triumphant success. This lady, it is said, exceeds any thing that could be expected from one of the fair sex. Her execution throughout the whole compass of the instrument is rapid, tasteful and correct, and her higher notes particularly clear and brilliant.

Nothing new has been brought out for some time, in any of the Italian theatres. For the most part, the stock pieces of Rossini have been employed to keep them open. Several new Libretti however have been confided to Bellini, Mercadante, Donizetti and Pacini, to be ready for the approaching carnival.

FOREIGN LITERARY INTELLIGENCE.

THE long expected work of Messrs. CHAMPOLLION & ROSELLINA, who were commissioned by the French and Tuscan Gevernments to explore the remains of ancient art in Egypt and Nubia, is now nearly ready, and will commence being published this month in Paris. The plan and order of publication will be as follows:-It is proposed to exhibit a regular view of the ancient state of Egyptian civilization, re-established on the irresistible testimony of the original and contemporary monuments of the events recorded. The work will consist of three principal sections-1st, 400 plates, of which at least 100 will be coloured; 2d, 10 volumes of Text, illustrated and adorned with occasional plates. The first section will relate to the Civil State of Egypt. The second will contain the Historical Monuments relative to the reigns of the Pharaohs, and the Greek dynasties of the Legides, from the reign of Cæsarion, son of Julius Cæsar and Cleopatra. The third section is intended to embrace the monuments of the Religion and Public Worship of ancient Egypt. The plates are of large Atlas size. The text is octavo. A French and an Italian edition are both to be published. The plates are to be divided into 40 livraisons, one of which is to appear every month. The text is to be published in volumes or half volumes as its illustration of the plates may require. It may be confidently affirmed that a more important work in this branch of research has not appeared for many years.

LEO VON KLENZE, one of the most celebrated architects of Germany, has lately commenced a work illustrative of the principal edifices designed and executed by himself. Six Folio Plates, illustrative of the Glyptothek at Munich, form its first number.

FEMALE FASHIONS FOR JANUARY.

MORNING AND CARRIAGE DRESS.

A dress of pearl-coloured Gros de Naples, high corsage, with a pelerine collar, which falls over the shoulders in points. Gigot sleeve. The mantle is of azure blue reps African, lined and trimmed with martin fur. The collar is square and very deep; it falls over, and is lined with fur. The pelerine, very deep, and of quite a new form, is edged with a very narrow fur rouleau, and a broad band of fur goes down the front on each side. Black velvet bonnet, a low crown, and small round brim, decorated on the inside with light knots of gas ardoise gauze ribbon. Knots of a larger size decorate the crown.

THINK not, gentle reader! that I am now about to conduct thee into any of those dank and lugubrious receptacles of the dead, such as the sage Doctor of our city had in contemplation to establish under a central and general mart of pigs and poultry. Imagine not that I purpose carrying thee through the intricate and appalling catacombs of Paris and Palermo, to pour forth sentimentality over the crossbone altar-pieces of the one, or to hold companionship with the stalwart, but consuming atomies of the other. Dream not, that I wish to emulate the sombre STRANG in his treatise on Sepulchres and Sawlies, and, like him, to advocate the unspeakable advantages of a Glasgow cemetery à la Père la Chaise. No, gentle reader, I have assuredly no such melancholy duty to perform, my object is of a far gayer and livelier nature. The crypt whither I would lead thee, though situated, like that fancied one of the Doctor's, beneath a mighty commercial mart, and replete though it be with many sorts of spirits, is nevertheless such as to inspire courage rather than to awaken fear. The crypt to which I would now go, though illumined like that of the matchless subterranean Chateau en Espagne, of our able statist, with all the brilliant appliances of good coal-gas, is altogether free from any pestilential vapours, being filled with living, not with dead men's bones. In this crypt, the only species of interment which takes place within its gay precincts is, that of fresh and well-fed Pandore oysters being dropped down into the gaping grave of the gourmand's gullet the only burial, that of consigning nightly a warren-full of Welsh rabbits to their legitimate, although it is to be hoped not their last, resting place! The crypt, in fine, to which I would now take thee, and counsel thee occasionally to return, boasts, in fact, a society as brilliant, and as many tinted as the Rainbow -a community, with the voices as cheerful and chanticleering as the Cock, and a squad of wags and wittlings as bright and sparkling as those of the Cider-cellar. But to the point:

Last week, then, after sallying forth from a regular blow-out party, redolent with chicken turtle and old Johanisberger, it was suggested by one of the party, who had retreated along with me, that the day's business ought to be wound up in the crypt-where, by the way, the whole business of life must be ultimately completed. To this proposal I at first objected, on account of the lateness of the hour, and from a secret suspicion that lurked in my mind, that the ill-assorted marriage of cold punch and claret in my stomach required no third party to be present. My companions, however, having urged me with some anxiety to accompany them, I at length acceded, and ere a few moments had elapsed, found myself in front of that fell bar where so many How-Towdies are daily condemned to be drawn and quartered, and where so many ale bibbers are nightly called up to answer with their coin for the

"deeds done in the body." Having cast a longing, nay almost a Burking, eye towards the various subjects laid out for that evening's dissection, I pushed my way into the BELLE salle à manger, but lo! not a single shrine among the many, dedicated to the spiritual comforters of London, Paris, Lisbon, and Washington, could afford us accommodation. The fact is, every brassrodded and scarlet-curtained temple had each its own "hole and corner" meeting of worshippers busy in the orgies of Bacchus or Heliogabulus. We demanded if we could get on board the "SHIP," but we were told with a sigh, that the berths were at that moment all secured by a batch of old and new baillies busy taking measures against the approaching cholera. We asked if we might enter the "STAR," but we were answered, that that luminary was already crowded with the sons of her brother Mars, in deep forgetfulness of the proposed reduction in the army. We next enquired if we could gain admittance to the "SUN," but the negative shake of the waiter's head mournfully intimated that Phaeton, Phoebus, or whatever the ancients would have called it, could that evening afford us no light nor comfort. We had now but one hope left, and that was to obtain possession of the great" Globe" itself.

The demand was of so ambitious a nature, that our tongues faultered as we whispered the magnificent monosyllable to our bustling attendant. The ominous grin, however, that played on his potato-trap, proclaimed that the men of Shuna still reigned paramount there. Sulkily we wheeled about, and prepared to travel homewards, when just at the moment we were on the move, which Heaven knows would have been better for us, the door of the huge Ball of Atlas slowly opened, and two Sexagenarian figures, inspired with at least a couple of double "DAWNIES" slipt out of the apartment, and bolted past the glass door. "There is the GLOBE at last for you, gentlemen," shouted the waiter with an air of satisfaction, and into the comfortable planet we went, thanking Heaven for our good fortune.

6

Somewhat lazy and dozy, I threw myself at once into the luxurious lounging crib of the President of the snug and sensible fraternity which there holds its regular evening assembly, while my companions ensconced themselves in the two elbow chairs that graced the sides of a blazing fire-place. The table was instantly cleared of glasses, and almost immediately covered with a snow-white cloth, while oysters, crabs, and lobsters were successively paraded, till HUNGER at length declared a halt, and his brother THIRST seized the reins of government.

It would be here altogether impossible to go over a tithe of the highly interesting and edifying topics which seasoned each successive tumbler of gin-twist, suffice it to say, that hours passed, and Charlies shouted, and scadding burn [Anglice, hot water] was still the cry. In the midst of the wit and drollery, however, that was sported by my jolly and waggish companions, my eyes eventually began to twinkle-a dozziness came over my spirits the lights of the gazelier became dimmer and dimnier-the tongues of the speakers, like the sound of a bell in the receiver over an exhausting airpump, became less and less perceptible. I nodded,

winked, and nodded again, till at length, fairly entrapped by the soother of humanity, I fell into the meshes of Morpheus.

Finding me fairly in a death-like snooze, my companions voted me comfortable, and a non-convivialist—and as a just and appropriate punishment for the latter high misdemeanour, they proposed that I should be forthwith left where I was for the night. The gegg was a good one, and they now proposed to carry it into execution. Every thing was in their favour for accomplishing this project successfully. The hour had sent every inmate of the establishment, save a sleep-stupified stripling to bed, and a stillness now reigned in the crypt of the Royal Exchange, as solemn as that in the crypt of St. Mungo. Extinguishing the gas in the Globe, my companions slipt out of the apartment-paid the bill to the strippling at the bar-and having quietly bolted out, the boy bolted the door. The sleepy stripling seeing the "GLOBE" in gloom passed on to his dormitory, and was soon snoring as snugly as a ship in the trade-winds!

Unconscious of my situation and solitude, I slumbered on, and then began to dream. The four-course dinner combined with the three-course supper, summoned up before my mind's eye the most hideous and most terrifying phantoms. At one moment I was pursued by an animal more hideous than the antideluvian mammoth; at another, I was tossing on a billow, exposed to the jaws of a monster more mighty than that which bore Jonah in its belly-again, I was galloping on the back of an aligator to the summit of a pyramid-and, anon, I was flying, parched by thirst, through a stiffling and sulphureous atmosphere, in the basket of a gigantic balloon. This illusion was my best, and stuck to me longest. With the rapidity of the tempest, I flew over seas and rivers-over mountains and valleys-at length me thought Mount Etna appeared blazing forth fire and lava. I called out for mercy, as I saw myself nearing the crater of the mountain-I drew nearer and nearer, and nearer. Terror was roused to its utmost pitch-I smelt the sulphur-I felt the heat-I panted for breath-for one drop of cold water. I rallied my sinking energies, and made one vigorous effort to leap out, but at the very moment that I did so, the flame caught the balloon, and I was tossed headlong, like Empodocles, into the boiling and rumbling volcano.

I started from the President's chair at my fearfully imagined destiny, and thought myself in eternity, All around was dark, and although my eyes were open, my mind was still insensible to my real situation. In this plight, I saw a white sheeted figure dimly illumined by the rays of a waning moon, that insinuated themselves through the half opeu door of the "Globe," standing anxiously gazing at me, and still believing that my spirit had quitted its mortal coil, I faultered out, "Who art thou that awaits my coming to this realm of spirits-art thou a restless wanderer on the shores of Styx, or an angel of light come to conduct me to Paradise?" and springing forward under the impulse that frequently accompanies fear, clasped the sheeted figure in my extended arms. The warm flesh and blood of the supposed spirit, followed by the immediate exclamation of astonishment, and "oh! Mr. R. you are bumbazed, do you no ken the landlady o' the Crypt?" instantly recalled my scattered thoughts. The illusion I made a thousand apologies for gone, what I had done. The landlady explained, that attracted by groans, she had risen from her bed, imagining the noise to proceed from the throat of some sick waiter. The affair was soon cleared up, and I sallied forth at four in the morning, vowing vengeance against my waggish companion, and resolving never to pass another such like night in the crypt.

TRAVELLERS' ROOM No. 1.

SMITH AND JENKINS.

SCENE.-Jenkins sitting Smoking, with a Pint of Port before him. [Enter Smith.]

Smith. Well Master Jenkins, I am glad to see you making yourself comfortable.

Jenkins. Comfortable! Why if a man can't make himself comfortable in doors, he will find it a deuced hard matter to do it out of doors, in this here blackguard place.

Smith.-Why! what's ado now?

Jenkins.-Ado! Why the devil's to do.

Smith. Well, Jenkins, if you can manage to do the old'un, I'l say you're up to a trick or two.

Jenkins-(Puffing out a mouthful of smoke.)-Hark'ee, Master Smith, I'm not in a joking humour at present, and I'll tell you why, do you know all the accounts opened here last journey, are like to turn out bad. You don't say so

Smith. Jenkins.

But I do though. Smith. What! all of 'em?

Jenkins. Why there be but three on 'em, thank God, but if there had been twenty I dare say it would have been all the same thing.

Smith.-How could you be so stupid?

Jenkins. I was as careful as I could be, and I'll tell you how it happened-last journey you know was my first trip to Scotland, and I know'd nothing of the folks in Glasgow, but in going about I saw three very well-filled business-like shops in our line, and took a memorandum of 'em, and in passing along Trongate Street as they call it, who should I meet but Jack Bounce, him you know as travels in the Tray line. Well, I axed him if he know'd the names I had marked. He said no, but he would take me to a canny Scotchman, a sort of a bill sweater, who know'd every body; well off we goes together, and he introduces me to this 'ere canny Scotchman as he called him, and told him I was a stranger come to do business in Glasgow, and wanted to have his opinion of some of the people of the piace, so I mentioned my men, and he told me the first was dreek, the second was unca dreek, and the third was dreeker and dreeker; now I did not understand what he said, but Jack Bounce, who pretends to know all about Scotch, translated it for me when we come out, and gave me to understand that the first was good, the second very good, and the third the best of the three; so, after giving Bounce a bottle of wine for his translation, I bundled off to Dreek with my pattern cards, and pressed him hard for an order, which I got to the amount of eighty pounds. I then called on Unca Dreek, and by pressing him very hard, I got him down for one hundred pounds. I then set off to Dreeker and Dreeker, and by pressing him harder and harder, blow me, if I did not sell him two hundred pounds worth of goods. Well, the goods are all sent off, and we draws upon 'em in our usual way, but just before I left home, all three bills came back. From Dreek we received a letter enclosing twenty pounds to account. Unca Dreek sent an apology, but as for Dreeker and Dreeker, deuce take me, if he has said a single word on the subject. Now I've been to an Attorney or Writer as the call 'em here, to see if I can't make the gallows old Scotchman as gave us their character, cash up; but do you know when I told the case, he said Bounce's translation was all wrong, and that dreek, or dreich as he calls it, means a slow payer, that unco dreich is very slow, and dreicher and dreicher means, as we say in the South, worser and worser-now there's a pretty go-three hundred and sixty pounds and a bottle of wine all come to the pigs, for want of a good translator.

Smith. It's a hard case, Master Jenkins; but what do you mean to do?

Jenkins. Why, I have not done much as yet; I called on Dreek yesterday and he seemed quite happy to see me, and asked me to come and take a bit of dinner with him at four, and matters would be settled; so, thinking all was right I went, and there's three more guests, all social chaps, and we sat down to a piece of good roast beef, a cod's head and shoulders with oyster sauce, and a tureen full of sheep's head kail, which he said he had got entirely on my account, in order that I might know something about what is called a Scotch dinner, so we all got