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to. It is an old observation, that when Fortune is unkind it is a satisfaction to know how far she can be troublesome, and that a man is in some respect who knows the extent of his miseries. Keep these remarks in your mind and act directly opposite, and you will be sure to succeed.

There is an excellent way of putting off a tradesman, by a true man of fashion; drawl out your words indistinctly, and receive him lolling on your sopha or chair, picking your teeth and twirling your watchchain. So, Mr. A, you have brought your bill, I see; very well, I like punctuality; you may lay it on the table, Mr. A—; and, I say, Mr. A, you may call on this day fortnight, and then I may probably inform you, Mr. A- when you may call again.

Much is to be done by flattery, properly timed. Heap your civilities pile upon pile; write love verses on an old woman with one eye; a panegyric on the wonderful talents of an infant three months old; odes to a favourite lap-dog; stanzas to a canary bird, and elegiac quatrains on the death of a tom-cat.

Fall in raptures at the elegance of a punch-bowl, if you wish to have it filled; give a hint of the fine flavour of the wine you partook of at your last visit, if you wish to have another bottle; be amazingly eloquent on the elegant mode of arranging the table, if you wish to have an invitation next day to dinner. Banish that dowdy diffidence which, at best, can only make you agreeable to that tame spirited class of the community called persons of discretion.

A bashful man is seldom or ever his own master; he is fearful of making use of his own judgment, and is sure to be overawed by the boldness and impudence of others. Therefore, if you have any regard to your consequence in polite society, be careful to study the latter excellent qualifications.

If you happen to be a hackney clerk or an apprentice muster eight or ten of your fellows and burst into a coffee room. Talk nonsense vociferously, for common sense cannot be expected. Take the place by storm, crowd round the fire, tread on the heels of the waiters, overturn bottles and glasses, and dash into the first box you see, if you throw down a respectable old gentleman or two perusing the public papers, it will only be a new proof of your vigor, activity and alertness. Lastly, persist in your noise and nonsense till you have driven every sensible man from the room.

It is no less elegant than amusing for ladies, who have an idle hour or two on their hands to saunter through the streets, and toss and tumble a shopkeeper's goods over for two or three hours together, asking a thousand questions without purchasing a single article. They ought, however, to remember, when going away, to make an elegant courtesy, accompanied by Sir, I am very sorry that I have given you so much trouble. N. B. You cannot conceive how much tradesmen are pleased with these little attentions.

VARIETY.

Un tesoro de contento, y una mina de passatiempos.-Cervantes.

THE wittiest of the Stanhopes, with all the shrewdness of DAVID HUME, and in the very spirit of Shaftesbury, without the pernicious infidelity of either, has clearly indicated the genuine mode of quelling the ebullitions of fanatic folly. The noble lord is addressing his correspondent in Ireland, and very sagaciously adverts to the absurdity of political persecution. Ed.

"The business of pamphleteering, I find, is not monopolized on this side of the channel; for I have lately read two or three angry papers, and one of them by Dr. Lucas. Surely your government will be wise enough not to take any notice of them. Punishment will make sectaries and scribblers considerable, when their own works would not; and if Lucas had not been persecuted under lord Harrington's government, I believe he would have been, long before this, only a good apothecary, instead of a scurvy politician. I remember at the latter end of queen Ann's reign, there was a great number of fanatics, who said they had the gift of prophecy. They used to assemble in Moorfields to exert that gift, and were attended by a vast number of idle and curious spectators. The then ministry, who loved a little persecution well enough, was, however, wise enough not to disturb these madmen, and only ordered one Powel, who was the master of a famous puppet show, to make Punch turn prophet, which he did so well, that it instantly put an end to the prophets and their prophecies."

Lord Chesterfield, in a rare letter to one of his intimate friends, a letter not to be found in the current edition of his works, describes,

with his characteristical elegance, vivacity, and wit, some of the effects of a licentious public assembly.

"However disjointedly business may go on, pleasures, I can assure you, go roundly. To-morrow there is to be, at Ranelagh garden a masquerade in the Venetian manner. It is to begin at three o'clock in the afternoon; the several boxes are to be shops for toys, lemonade, ice creams, and other refreshments. The next day come the fireworks, at which hundreds of people will certainly lose their lives or their limbs, from the tumbling of scaffolds, the fall of rockets, and other accidents inseparable from such crowds. In order to repair this loss to society, there will be a subscription masquerade on the Monday following, which, upon calculation, it is thought will be the occasion of creating about the same number of people as were destroyat the fireworks."

The same nobleman, addressing a gallant envoy, who just left London for the Hague, displays his profound knowledge of the female heart, and his admirable adroitness in the management of a coquette.

"I happened to relate, very properly, the agonies I saw you in at leaving England, in company, where a lady seemed to think that she was the cause of them. She inquired minutely into the degree and nature of these agonies; spoke of them with tenderness and compassion, though she confessed a quarrel with you for three days before you went away, which had broken off all communication between you. To this I answered, that to part with her would have been sufficient cause for your grief; but to part with her offended and incensed more than justified that deep despair I observed in you. I obliged her at last to confess that she wished she had seen you, the day before you went.”

The ensuing stanzas, though addressed to Amanda, are of no foolish, fantastic, or lovesick character.

HORACE IN LONDON.

BOOK IV. ODE 10.

O crudelis adhuc, et Veneris muneribus potens.

TO AMANDA.

Amanda, though now in youth's confident pride,
And blooming in beauty's array,

My vows, my predictions, my tears you deride,
And triumph in arrogant sway,

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Yet ah! when thy gold-waving ringlets shall turn,

And fall in gray ruin around,

Nor longer thy cheek's rosy lustre shall burn,
But pale sickly wrinkles abound;

When rouge, paint and patches shall only attest
The flight of your primitive bloom,

And every glance at your glass shall suggest
The spinster's disconsolate doom,

You'll cry, as my vows your attention engage
Too late to avail of their truth,

O why has not youth the discretion of age,
Or age the attractions of youth.

Chesterfield, who was not very rigid in his morals, in a letter to his friend Dayrolles, thus judiciously expresses his opinions of the levity of the philosopher of Ferny :

"Your good authors are my chief resource, for at present we have very few of our own. Voltaire especially, old and decrepit as he may well be, for he is exactly of my age, delights me barring his impiety, with which he cannot forbear larding every thing he writes. It would be much wiser in him to suppress it, for, after all, no man ought to break through the order established. Let every one think as he pleases, or as he can; but let him keep his notions to himself, if they be of such a nature as to disturb the peace of society."

There is something exceedingly noble and chivalrous in the subsequent sentiments. They are not unworthy of the head and heart of a Sir PHILIP SIDNEY.

"Perhaps it may be the opinion of a young man, but I think the old system of heroic attachment, with all its attendant notions of honour and spotlessness, was, in the end, calculated to promote the interests of the human race; for though it produced a temporary alienation of mind, perhaps bordering upon insanity, yet with the very extravagance of the sentiments there were interwoven certain imperious principles of virtue and generosity, which would probably remain after time had evaporated the heat of passion, and sobered the luxuriance of a romantic imagination. I think, therefore, a man of song is rendering the community a service, when he displays, in a pleasing light, the ardour of manly affection; but certainly we need no incentives to the irregular gratification of our appetites, and I should think it a proper punishment for the poet who holds forth the allurements of illicit pleasures in amiable and seductive colours, should his wife, his sis

ter, or his child fall a victim to the licentiousness he has been instrumental in diffusing."

The ensuing exhortation to the study of the Greek and Roman classics is conveyed in the form of a very pleasing allegory, as remarkable for its splendour as it is memorable for its usefulness.

"It will not be amiss for you to saunter a few weeks on the site of Troy, or to lay out plans of ancient history on the debateable ground of the Peloponnesians and Athenians. There is one THUCYDIDES, who lives near, who will tell you all about the places you visit, and the great events connected with them. He is a sententious old fellow, very shrewd in his remarks, and speaks, moreover, very excellent Greek at your service. I know not whether you have met with any guide in the course of your travels, who can be compared to him. If you should make Rome in your way, either there or back, I should like to give you a letter of introduction to an old friend of mine, whose name is LIvy, who, as far as his memory extends, will amuse you with pretty stories and some true history. There is another honest fellow enough, to whom I dare not recommend you, he is so very crabbed and tart, and speaks so much in epigrams and enigmas, that I am afraid he would teach you to talk as unintelligibly as himself. I do not mean to give you any more advice; but I have one exhortation which I hope you will take in good part: it is this, that if you set out on this journey, you would please to proceed to its end; for I have been acquainted with some young men who have turned their faces towards Athens or Rome, and trudged on manfully for a few miles; but when they had travelled till they grew weary and worn out a good pair of shoes, have suddenly become disheartened and returned without any recompense for their pains."

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A very recent and spritely letter-writer, blessed with genius but blasted by sickness, thus gayly alludes to one of his symptoms:

"I was glad to hear of the eclat with which Charlesworth disputed and came off on so difficult a subject as the nerves; and I beg him, if he have made any discoveries, to communicate them to me, who, be ing persecuted by these same nerves, should be glad to have some better acquaintance with my invisible enemies."

Voluptuousness is not the less dangerous for having some slight semblance of the veil of Modesty. On the contrary her fascinations are infinitely more powerful in this retiring habit, than when she boldly protrudes herself on the gazer's eye, and openly solicits his attention. The broad indecency of Wycherly and his contemporaries was not half so dangerous as this insinuating and half-covered mock delica

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