This was quite a favourite mode of arguing in the Purchase and required much bodily strength and agility. How learned men of slender bodies, pale faces, small hands and green spectacles would have felt, in prospect of rencontre with such a bear, is doubtful; but our professor, although dressed in store cloth and rather dandy-looking, betrayed no emotion, and never altered his half-recumbent attitude. Yet plain was it, from the flash of his grey eyes, and the hard compression of his lips, he was ready to ward off his antagonist-perhaps, even to spring on the threatening brute. This Bruin Brass perceived; and when Mr. H. cooly replied "very well, sir; try it but maybe you'll find mistake in that argument, as quick as you did in the other,”—he affected to laugh the whole off as a joke! And happy! if he valued sound bones; for my friend Harwood was a fine square built muscular young Kentuckian, from early life used to every feat of strength and agility, and able now to lift a barrel of flour in his unaided arms, and carry it before him and without trip or pause full fifty honest yards! your Even the Spiritual Church may put defensive and carnal weapons into her children's hands to keep at a distance the sanctimonious assassins and murderous snivellers of a canting and unholy apostacy; and so cases do arise, where scholars may and ought to repel club logic with knockdown argument. Yea and nay, an atheistic bear when about to use violence must be, if possible, resisted with physics, even as the veritable shaggy-coat himself; metaphysics, here, may come afterwards. My friend Harwood had conducted the debate as a Christian and a gentleman; and the double rebuke given the atheist, while it had no tendency to change his heart, quelled his beastly spirit and controlled its ferocity; and ever after our Faculty were free from all fear of Mr. Brass, sen., and all trouble from Mr. Brass, jun. CHAPTER LII. "You'd scarce expect one of my age, Don't view me with a critic's eye, A GENERAL truce and cessation of arms had taken place, and our Faculty began to drill the quiescent pupils for a grand exhibition to come off this fall. This was to be, as is everywhere usual, of speeches, debates and compositions. Amendments may be necessary; but all experience and reason itself favour generous emulation and honest rivalry in schools; and nothing better prepares for the stormy conflicts of life than the literary - sham fights of college societies. It is preposterous to train children for a world of romance, or for a state possible, IF all were good. Beside, manly competition is intrinsically right; and is promotive of many virtues—and all ought early to be inured to arduous and noble contests for masteries. The opposite doctrine is hateful for its puling effeminacy; and at war with our nature (as God made it,) and with the Scriptures. Thus thought our Faculty; and so they acted-although evils incident to their course, as to all other excellences in this life, were not wanting. In due time then, came the week of examinations and exhibition; and all was turned into bustle and merriment in fitting our Court-house for the great occasion! How joyous such times to boys-ay to men who retain the fresh and healthy feelings of boyhood! But to our half-reclaimed young savages-oh! it was a time of exu berant joy in all its phases of fun, frolic, raillery, joke, and expectation! And soon all Woodville caught the infection; and all were desirous of sharing the work and speculating on its progress. As for Carlton, he could not "tend store;" and so leaving his boys to sell what they could, and devour the remnant of the raisins and candy, away went our dignified author, and soon contrived to be elected by the boys Grand Master of Ceremo..ies in general, and Stage Fixings in particular! Then what a hauling of boards, and planks ! What a streaming over to the Court-house of rag-carpets, and calico window curtains! Oh! the clatter of candlesticks!—the pitching of these and other articles on pounds. of tallow candles done up in brown paper and tow strings! Gemini! the thundering of plank a-throwing down from two boys' shoulders, or a-upsetting from a cart! Cancer! the whacking! the pounding and nailing! the sawing and hammering and jerking! the talking! laughing! screeching! tearing! stamping! quizzing! It was a glorious. chaos! Soon, however, from confusion, came order; and in less than two whole days, all was ready! a short time considering; for though we were thirty persons, only half worked, the rest being occupied in making the fun and hindering. The work was, first, the stage. This was erected between the doors of entrance into the court-room and opposite the forum or judges' seat-that honourable place being transformed into an orchestra, our music being to be three fiddles and one triangle. The stage-floor was spread with rag-carpets, and the boxing of the stairs ascending each from a door to the second story* was adorned with calico curtains tastefully festooned-the special performance of some young ladies just returned from being finished in a Vid. Vol. I. boarding school of the far East! Front of the stage, in a row were candles in appropriate stands; the tallest candles at the ends, and the shortest in the centre, thus presenting a graceful curve of light! And all the stands were decorated with fancy papers curled and cut and frissled most fantastically; the work of Miss Emily Glenville's boarding-school misses! Under the calico festooning stood Windsor chairs for the Faculty and the two rival societies! And near Professor Harwood's seat, was a cow-bell of a very soft and mournful voice, whose use was to ring out signals for the fiddles and the triangle-not a classic signal truly, yet one to which our musicians were accustomed, and not wholly at variance with the harmonies produced. Indeed, even to our own cultivated ears never came sounds so delicious as those of a cow-bell, which once ravished me with its sudden tinkle when lost in the woods! Hence as associations like utilities render things pleasant, our cow-bell signal was not unacceptable to our woodsmen. It was, also, a peculiar link connecting rough and softened life; and it forcibly reminded us of the milk of human kindness! Our seats. These were of doubled planks, resting on joist, logs, benches, or other planks placed edgeways. Of these, not one cracked, split, or tumbled over during the exhibition hence, considering their loads and the stamping they endured in the applauses,—and every thing was applauded, we have proof that our work was well done, if not expeditiously. On the evening preceding the exhibition, the Rev. Principal Clarence entered my store to obtain a pair of pumps, wishing to tread the stage in elastic style; and nothing so conduces to this ease and grace as a handsome stocking and a becoming shoe. Yet, in vain, was every drawer, trunk, or box containing either shoe or shoe-leather rummaged and re-rummaged, no pump turned up: and the gen tleman was about to withdraw and make up his mind to walk the boards in a shapeless two-soled pair of calf-skin boots. But just then I had mechanically opened a drawer of female shoes; when some very large and coarse moroccos appeared, with straps to be joined by a steel buckle, and Clarence exclaimed: "Stop! Carlton, the very thing!" "Where?" "Why, those machines of the softer sex." "Ha ha! he!-what! wear a woman's shoe ?" "Certainly if I can find any small enough-" "Buckle and all?" "Oh! no: my wife will razee the straps, and then the affairs will look masculine enough; and we can tie them with ribbon, pump-fashion." "That will answer, I do believe: sit down and try.” A pair was selected, yet perversely bent on spreading sideways, when pressed with the foot; but that tendency, it was hoped, would be corrected by the new mode of tieing and hence the man of learning departed with his bargain. That night the shoes were cropped; and the Principal, by way of rehearsal, was walking in them in his parlour, when in came several senior pupils to make some inquiry about the exhibition. In a moment the transmuted articles caught their eyes, and so captivated their fancy that they must ask whence were procured shoes so light and tasteful? On learning, and being taught how the sex could be so readily changed, off set they for my store: and the consequence was, that soon all the students came for morocco non-descripts, and we sold during the next day about thirty pairs! Hence I became a more decided friend of the college than ever. Yes, academies are useful! I cleared by this one speculation just thirty dollars! True, I lost about five dollars by not charging the usual New Purchase per centage: but then we must sacrifice some |