« ZurückWeiter »
Sail forth into the sea, O ship!
H. W. LONGFELLOW.
M Y hearers—male and female-squenchin' my native 11 modesty, wich is nateral to all uv the weaker vesthis evenin' on the subjeck uv woman-her origin, her mission, her destiny-a subjeck, bein', ez I am a woman myself, I hev given much attenshun to.
Man, my hearers, claims to be the sooperior uv woman. Is it so ? and ef so, in what, and how much? Wuz he the fust creashun? He wuz, my hearers; but what does that prove? Man wuz made fust, but the experience gained in makin' man wuz applied to the makin' uv a betterer and more finerer bein', uv whom I am a sample. Nacher made man, but saw in a breef space uv time thet he coodent take keer uv hisself alone, and so he made a woman to take keer uv him, and thet's why we wuz created, tho' seein' all the truble we hev, I don't doubt thet it wood hev bin money in our pockets ef we hedn't bin made at all.
Imagine, my antiquated sisters, Adam afore Eve wuz made! Who sowed on his shirt buttons ? Who cooked his beef-steak ! Who made his coffee in the morniu’and did his washin'? He wuz mizzable, he wuz-he must hev boarded out and eat hash! But when Eve cum, the scene changed. Her gentle hand suthed his akin' brow when he cum in from a hard day's work. She hed his house in order ; she hed his slippers and dressin' gown reddy, and after tea he smoked his meershaum in peece.
Men, crooel, hard hearted men, assert thet Eve wuz the cause uv his expulshun from Eden-thet she plucked the apple and gave him half; oh, my sisters, it's troo : it's too troo, but what uv it? It proves, fustly, her goodness. Had Adam plucked the apple, ef it hed bin a good one, he'd never thought uv his wife at home, but wood hev gobbled it all. Eve, angel that we all are, thought uv him, and went havers with him. Secondly, it wuz the meens uv good, anyhow. It interdoost deth inter the world, wich separated 'em wile they still hed luv fur each
uther. I appeal to the sterner sex present to-night Wood yoo, oh, wood yoo desire for immortality, onless, indede, yoo lived in Injeany, where you cood git divorces, and change your names wunst in 10 or 15 yeers ? S'pos'n all uv yoo hed bin fortunit enuff to win sich virgin soles ez me, cood yoo endoor charms like mine for a eternity ? Methinks not. I know thet ef I hed a husband he wood hless Eve fur introdoosin' death inter the world.
I progress. Woman then, is man’s ekal, but is she okkepyin' her proper speer? Alas, not! We are deprived uv the ballit, and aint allowed to make stumpspeeches, or take part in politix. Is it right? Troo, we aint as yet learned in these matters, but what uv thet ? How many men vote who know what they'r votin' for, and how many stump-speakers know what they'r talkin' about? I demand the ballit. I want to be a torchlight procession. I want to sit in Congris among the other old grannies. I'want to demonstrate my fitness for governin' by comin' home elevated on 'leckshun nites. I want to assoom thet speer wich Nacher fitted me fur ekally with man, but from wich maskeline jellasy hez thus fur exclooded me. Weak! why I wunst noed a female friend uv mine wich hed strength reglarly to carry her husband who weighed 207 lbs. averdupois, into the house every nite after he wuz lifted off from a dray onto wich his friends wich cood stand more flooids than he cood, hed deposited him. Many a time I've seed her lift thet barrel uv whisky with a man outside of it.
Matrimoney thus far in the wurld's histery, hez bin our only destiny. I am glad to hed allus strenth uv mind enuff to resist all propisishuns lookin' to my enslavement. I hed too much respec for myself to make myself the slave uv a man. Wunst, indeed, I mite hev done so, but the merest axedent in the world saved me. A yung man, in my yunger dase, wen the bloom wuz on the peach, ere sleepless nights spent in meditatin' the wrongs uv my sex hed worn furroes into these wunst blushin' cheeks, a yung man cum to our house and conversed sweetly with me. It was my fust beau. And, oh, my sisters, if he thet nite hed asked me to be his'n, I shood hev bin week enuff to hev sed “yes ;” and I wood hev bin a washer of dishes, and a mender of stockin's fur life. But fate saved me. He didn't ask me that nite nor ever afterward.
There hev bin wimmen in the wurld who hev done suthin'. There wuz the Queen uv Sheba, who was eggselled only by Solomon, and all that surprised her in him wuz that he could support 3000 wimmen. Bless Solomon's heart, I'd like to see him do it now! With the size hoops yoo wear, were cood he find a house big enuff to hold 'em ? He'd hev to put a wing onto each side uv the temple, and put another story on top uv it. And how cood he dress 'em with muslin at 50 cents a yard, stockin's a dollar a pare, and winter bonnets $20 per one? $20,000 per anum for stockin's? $240,000 per anum for bonnets! Ef he hed lived in these times he'd hev to hev Congris pass several internal revenue bills, to stand sich expenses. And there was Joan of Arc who whipped the English, who wuz maid of New Orleans, wich wuzn't the same as Noah's Ark, fur that was made of gopher wood, besides the latter was pitched without and pitched within. There wuz Queen Elizabeth, who wuz the virgin queen; and Mrs. Swisshelm; there's Lucy Stone and Anna Dickinson; there's Lucretia Mott and Dora Tilton, all uv whom showed thet wimmen cood ceese to be wimmen, and be ez neer men ez Nacher allowed them. The's what ali Our sex want to be ez utti men ez possible.—TABITHA PRIMROSE.
BREAK! BREAK! BREAKI
DREAK, break, break,
The thoughts that arise in me.
Oh, well for the fisherman's boy,
That he shouts with his sister at play! Oh, well for the sailor lad,
That he sings in his boat on the bay!
And their haven uth of a vanthat is
And the stately ships go on
To their haven under the hill;
And the sound of a voice that is still.
Break, break, break,
At the foot of thy crags, O Sea! But the tender grace of a day that is dead
Will never come back to me.-TENNYSON
ONCE I sat on a crimson throne,
And I held the world in fee; Below me I heard my brothers moan,
And I bent me down to see,
Lovingly bent and looked on them,
But I had no inward pain;
Like a rainhew Without the rain