Bora. So did I too; and he swore he would have bestow'd on you, who, as I take it, have marry her to-night. John. Come, let us to the banquet. [Exeunt John and Bora. Claud. Thus answer in name of Benedick, But hear these ill news with the ears of Claudio. 'Tis certain so:-the prince wooes for himself. Friendship is constant in all other things, Save in the office and affairs of love: 5 Therefore, all hearts in love use their own tongues: 10 And trust no agent: for beauty is a witch, Bene. Count Claudio? Bene. Come, will you go with me? stolen his bird's-nest. Pedro. I will but teach them to sing, and restore them to the owner. Bene. If their singing answer your saying, by my faith, you say honestly. Pedro. The lady Beatrice hath a quarrel to you; the gentleman, that danc'd with her, told her, she is much wrong'd by you. Bene. O, she misus'd me past the endurance of a block: an oak, but with one green leaf on it, would have answer'd her; my very visor began to assume life and scold with her: She told me, not thinking I had been myself, that I was the 15 prince's jester; and that I was duller than a great thaw; huddling jest upon jest, with such impossible conveyance, upon me, that I stood like a man at a mark, with a whole army shooting at me. She speaks poignards, and every word stabs: if 20her breath were as terrible as her terminations, there were no living near her, she would infect to the north star. I would not marry her, though she were endowed with all that Adam had left him before he transgress'd: she would have made Hercules have turn'd spit; yea, and have cleft his club to make the fire too. Come, talk not of her; you shall find her the infernal Até in good apparel. I would to God, some scholar would conjure her; for, certainly, while she is here, a man may live as quiet in hell, as in a sanctuary; and people sin upon purpose, because they would go thither: so, indeed, all disquiet, horror, and perturbation, follow her. Bene. Even to the next willow, about your own business, count. What fashion will you wear the garland of? About your neck, like an usurer's chain? or under your arm, like a lieutenant's scarf? You must wear it one way, for the prince 25 hath got your Hero. Claud. I wish him joy of her. Bene. Why, that's spoken like an honest drover; so they sell bullocks. But did you think the prince would have served you thus? Claud. I pray you leave me. Bene. Ho! now you strike like the blind man; 'twas the boy that stole your meat, and you'll beat the post. 30 Claud. If it will not be, I'll leave you. [Exit. 35 Bene. Alas, poor hurt fowl! Now will he creep into sedges. -But, that my lady Beatrice should know me, and not know me! The prince's fool! -Ha? it may be I go under that title, because I am merry.--Yea; but so; I am apt to do my-40 self wrong: I am not so reputed: it is the base, though bitter disposition of Beatrice, that puts the world into her person, and so gives me out. Well, I'll be reveng'd as I may. Re-enter Don Pedro. Pedro. Now, signior, where's the count? Did you see him? Enter Claudio, Beatrice, Leonato, and Hero. Bene. Will your grace command me any ser- Bene. Troth, my lord, I have played the part of lady Fame. I found him here as melancholy as a lodge in a warren; I told him, and I think, 150 told him true, that your grace had got the goodwill of this young lady; and I offered him my company to a willow tree, either to make him a garland, as being forsaken, or to bind him up a rod, as being worthy to be whipt. Pedro. To be whipt! What's his fault? Bene. The flat transgression of a school-boy; who, being overjoy'd with finding a bird's-nest, shews it his companion, and he steals it. Pedro. Come, lady, come; you have lost the heart of signior Benedick. Beat. Indeed, my lord, he lent it me a while; and I gave him use for it, a double heart for a single one: marry, once before he won it of me with false dice, therefore your grace may well 55say, I have lost it. Pedro. Wilt thou make a trust a transgression:60 The transgression is in the stealer. Bene. Yet it had not been amiss, the rod had been made, and the garland too; for the garland he might have worn himself, and the rod he might| 19 Pedro. You have put him down, lady, you have put him down. Beat. So I would not he should do me, my lord, lest I should prove the mother of fools. I have brought count Claudio, whom you sent me to seek. Pedro. Why, how now, count? wherefore are you sad? Claud. Not sad, my lord. Claud. Claud. Neither, my lord. Beat. The count is neither sad, nor sick, nor merry, nor well: but civil, count; civil as an orange, and something of that jealous complexion. Pedro. I'faith, lady, I think your blazon to be true; though, I'll be sworn, if he be so, his conceit is false. Here, Claudio, I have wooed in thy name, and fair Hero is won; I have broke with her father, and his good-will obtained; name the day of marriage, and God give thee joy! Leon. Count, take of me my daughter, and with her my fortunes: his grace hath made the match, and all grace say Amen to it! Beat. Speak, count, 'tis your cue. Claud. To-morrow, my lord: Time goes on crutches, till love have all his rites. Leon. Not till Monday, my dear son, which is hence a just seven-night: and a time too brief 5 too, to have all things answer my mind. 10 Claud. Silence is the perfectest herald of joy: I15 were but little happy, if I could say how much.Lady, as you are mine, I am yours: I give away myself for you, and doat upon the exchange. Beat. Speak, cousin: or, if you cannot, stop his mouth with a kiss, and let him not speak neither. Pedro. In faith, lady, you have a merry heart. Beat. Yea, my lord: I thank it, poor fool, it keeps on the windy side of care:-My cousin tells him in his ear, that he is in her heart. Claud. And so she doth, cousin. Beat. Good lord, for alliance!-Thus goes every one to the world' but I, and I am sunburn'd; I may sit in a corner, and cry, Heigh-ho, for a husband! Pedro. Lady Beatrice, I will get you one. Beat. I would rather have one of your father's getting: Hath your grace ne'er a brother like you? Your father got excellent husbands, if a maid could come by them. Pedro. Will you have me, lady? 20 25 Pedro. Come, you shake the head at so long a breathing; but, I warrant thee, Claudio, the time shall not go dully by us; I will, in the interim, undertake one of Hercules' labours; which is, to bring signior Benedick and the lady Beatrice into a mountain of affection, the one with the other. I would fain have it a match; and I doubt not to fashion it, if you three will but minister such assistance as I shall give you direction. Leon. My lord, I am for you, though it cost me ten nights' watchings. Claud. And I, my lord. Pedro. And you too, gentle Hero? Hero. I will do any modest office, my lord, to help my cousin to a good husband. Pedro. And Benedick is not the unhopefullest husband that I know: thus far I can praise him; he is of a noble strain, and of approv'd valour, and confirm'd honesty. I will teach you how to humour your cousin, that she shall fall in love with Benedick:-And I, with your two helps, will so practise on Benedick, that in despight of his quick wit and his queasy stomach, he shall fall in love with Beatrice. If we can do this, Cupid is no 30 longer an archer; his glory shall be ours, for we are the only love-gods. Go in with me, and I will tell you my drift. [Exeunt. 35 Beat. No, my lord, unless I might have another for working-days; your grace is too costly to wear every day:-But, I beseech your grace, pardon me; I was born to speak all mirth, and no matter. Pedro. Your silence most offends me, and to 40 be merry best becomes you; for, out of question, you were born in a merry hour. Beat. No, sure, my lord, my mother cry'd; but then there was a star danc'd, and under that I was born. Cousins, God give you joy! Leon. Niece, will you look to those things I told you of? Beat. I cry you mercy, uncle.-By your grace's pardon. [Exit Beatrice. 145 Pedro. By my troth, a pleasant-spirited lady. 50 Leon. There's a little of the melancholy element in her, my lord: she is never sad, but when she sleeps; and not ever sad then; for I have heard my daughter say, she hath often dream'd of unhappiness, and wak'd herself with laughing. Pedro.She cannot endure to hear tell of a husband. Leon. O, by no means; she mocks all her wooers out of suit. Pedro. She were an excellent wife for Benedick. Leon. O Lord, my lord, if they were but a weel marry'd, they would talk themselves mad. Pedro. Count Claudio, when mean you to go to church? 55 60 SCENE II. Another Apartment in Leonato's House. Enter Don John and Borachio. John. It is so: the count Claudio shall marry the daughter of Leonato. Bora. Yea, my lord, but I can cross it. John. Any bar, any cross, any impediment, will be medicinable to me: I am sick in displeasure to him; and whatsoever comes athwart his affection, ranges evenly with mine. How canst thou cross this marriage? Bora. Not honestly, my lord; but so covertly that no dishonesty shall appear in me. John. Shew me briefly how. Bora. I think, I told your lordship, a year since, how much I am in the favour of Margaret, the waiting gentlewoman to Hero. John. I remember. Bora. I can, at any unseasonable instant of the night, appoint her to look out at her lady's chamber window. John. What life is in that, to be the death of this marriage? Bora. The poison of that lies in you to temper. Go you to the prince your brother; spare not to tell him, that he wrong'd his honour in marrying the renown'd Claudio (whose estimation do you mightily hold up) to a contaminated stale, such a one as Hero. John. What proof shall I make of that? To go to the world was a phrase then in use, signifying, to be married. 2 Unhappiness here signites, a wild, wanton, unlucky trick. Bora. Bora. Proof enough to misuse the prince, to vex Claudio, to undo Hero, and kill Leonato : Look you for any other issue? John. Only to despite them, I will endeavour any thing. 5 Bora. Go then, find me a meet hour to draw Don Pedro, and the count Claudio, alone: teil them, that you know Hero loves me; intend a kind of zeal both to the prince and Claudio, asin a love of your brother's honour who hath made 10 this match; and his friend's reputation, who is thus like to be cozen'd with the semblance of a maid,that you have discover'd thus. They will scarcely believe this without trial: Offer them instances: which shall bear no less likelihood, than to see me 15 at her chamber window; hear me call Margaret, Hero-; hear Margaret term me Claudio; and bring them to see this, the very night before the intended wedding for in the mean time, I will so fashion the matter, that Hero shall be absent; and 20 there shall appear such seeming truth of Hero's disloyalty, that jealousy shall be call'd assurance, and all the preparation overthrown. : John. Grow this to what adverse issue it can, I will put it in practice: Be cunning in the work-25 ing this, and thy fee is a thousand ducats. Bora. Be thou constant in the accusation, and my cunning shall not shame me. John. I will presently go learn their day of marriage. [Exeunt. 30 Bene. In my chamber-window lies a book; bring it hither to me in the orchard. Boy. I am here already, sir. another virtuous; yet I am well: butt ili all graces As hush'd on purpose to grace harmony! [self? I Pedro. It is the witness still of excellency, Pedro. Nay, pray thee, come: Do it in notes. Balth. Note this before my notes, Bene. I know that;-but I would have thee 40 hence, and here again. [Exit Boy.]-1 do much wonder, that one man, seeing how inuch another man is a fool when he dedicates his behaviours to love, will, after he hath laugh'd at such shallow follies in others, become the argument of his own 45 scorn, by falling in love: And such a man is Claudio. I have known, when there was no musick with him but the drum and the fife; and now had herather hear the tabor and the pipe. I have known, when he would have walk'd ten inile afoot, to see 50 a good armour; and now will he lie ten nights awake, carving the fashion of a new doublet. He was wont to speak plain, and to the purpose, like an honest man, and a soldier; and now is he turn'd orthographer; his words are a very fantastical bau-155 quet, just so many strange dishes. May I be so converted, and see with these eyes? I cannot tell; I think not: I will not be sworn, but Love may transform me to an oyster; but I'll take my oath on it, till he have made an oyster of me, he shali never make me such a fool. One woman is fair yet I am well: another is wise; yet I am well: Bene. Now, Divine air! now is his soul ravish'd!-Is it not strange, that sheep's guts should hale souls out of men's bodies?-Well, a horn for my money, when all's done. SONG. Sigh no more, ladies, sigh no more, But let them go, And be you blith and bonny ; Sing no more ditties, sing no mo Of dumps so dull and heavy; Then sigh not so, &c. Bene.[Aside.] An he had been a dog, that should have howl'd thus, they would have hang'd him: Kid means discovered. K and, Claud. That. and, I pray God, his bad voice bode no mischief tween the sheet? Pedro. Yea, marry ;--Dost thou-hear, Balthazar? I pray thee, get us some excellent musick; 5 for to-morrow night we would have it at the lady Hero's chamber-window. Buth. The best I can, my lord. [Ex. Balthazar. Leon. O, she tore the letter into a thousand [hait-pence; railed at herself, that she should be so immodest to write to one that she knew would fout her: I measure him, says she, by my own spirit; for I would fout him, if he writ to me; yea, though I love him, I should. Glaud. Then down upon her knees she falls, What was it you told me of to-day, that your niece 10 weeps, sobs, beats her heart, tears her hair, prays, Beatrice was in love with signior Benedick? Cland. O, ay:-Stalk on, stalk on, the fowl sits. [Aside to Pedro.] I did never think that lady would have lov'd any man. curses;--O sweet Benedick! God give me patience. Leon. She doth indeed; my daughter says so; and the ecstacy hath so much overborne her, that my daughter i, sonretime afraid she will do des Leon. No, nor I neither; but most wonderful,15perate outrage to herself; It is very true. that she should so dote on signtor Benedick, whomn] she hath in all outward behaviours seemned everto abhor. Bene. Is't possible? Sits the wind in that corner? [Aside. 20 Leon. By my troth, my lord, I cannot tell what to think of it, but that she loves him with an enraged affection-it is past the infinite of thought. Pedro. May be, she doth but counterfeit. Claud, Faith, like enough. Leon. O God! counterieit! There never was counterfeit of passion came so near the life of passion, as she discovers it. Pedro. Why, what effects of passion shews she? 25 30 Pedro. Ilow, how, I pray you? You amaze 35 me: I would have thought her spirit had been invincible against all assaults of affection. Leon. I would have sworn it had, my lord; especially against Benedick. Bene. [Aside.] I should think this a gull, but that the white-be rded fellow speaks it: knavery cannot, sure, hide himself in such reverence. Claud. He hath ta'en the infection; hold it [Aside up. 40 Pedro. Hath she made her affection known to 45 Benedick? Leon. No; and swears she never will: that's her torment. Claud. 'Tis true, indeed; so your daughter says: Shal! I, says she, that have so oft encounter'd 50 him with scorn, write to him that I love him? Leon. This says she now when she is beginning to write to him: for she'll be up twenty times a night; and there she will sit in her smock, 'till she have writ a sheet of paper:-my daughter 55 tells us all. Pedro. It were good, that Benedick knew of it by some other, if she will not discover it. Claud. To what end? He would but make a sport of it, and torment the poor lady worse. Pedro. An he should, it were an alms to hang him: She's an excellent sweet lady; and, out of all suspicion, she is virtuous. Claud. And she is exceeding wise. Pedro. In every thing, but in loving Benedick. Leon. O my lord, wisdom and blood combating in so tender à body, we have ten proofs to one that blood hath the victory. I am sorry for her, as I have just cause, being her uncle and her guardian. Pedro. I would, she had bestowed this dotage on me; I would have daff'd all other respects, and made her half myself: I pray you, tell Benedick of it, and hear what he will say. Leon. Were it good, think you? Claud. He thinks surely, she will die: for she says, she will die if he love her not; and she wil die ere she make her love known; and she will die if he woo her, rather than she will bate Jone breath of her accustom'd crossness. Pedro. She doth well: if she should make tender of her love, 'tis very possible, he'll scorn it; tor the man, as you know all, hath a contemptible* spirit. Claud. He is a very proper man. Pedro. He hath, indeed, a good outward happiness. Claud. Fore God, and in my mind very wise. Pedro. He doth, indeed, shew some sparks that are like wit. Leon. And I take him to be valiant. Pedro. As Hector, I assure you: and in the managing of quarrels you may say he is wise; for either he avoids them with great discretion, or Jundertakes them with a christian-like fear. Leon. If he do fear God, he must necessarily keep peace; if he break the peace, he ought to enter into a quarrel with fear and trembling. Claud. Now you talk of a sheet of paper, I remember a pretty jest your daughter told us of. Pedro. And so will he do; for the man doth Leon. Oh,-When she had writ it, and was read- fear God, howsoever it seems not in him, by some ing it over, she found Benedick and Beatrice be-160llarge jests he will make. Well, I am sorry for This alludes to the practice of shooting with a stalking-horse; by which the fowler anciently concealed himself from the sight of the game. 2 That is, into a thousand pieces of the same bigTo duff, like to doff, means to do off, to put aside. i. e. contemptuous. Ress. your your niece: Shall we go seek Benedick, and tell him of her love? Claud. Never tell him, my lord; let her wear it out with good counsel. Leon. Nay, that's impossible; she may wear 5 her heart out first. Pedro. Well, we will hear further of it by your daughter; let it cool the while. I love Benedick well; and I could wish he would modestly examine himself to see how much he is unworthy 10 to have so good a lady. Leon. My lord, will you walk? dinner is ready. Chaud. If he do not dote on her upon this, I will never trust my expectation. [aside. Pedro. Let there be the same net spread for her, 15 and that must your daughter and her gentlewomen carry. The sport will be, when they hold an opinion of one another's dotage, and no such matter; that's the scene that I would see, which will be merely a dumb show. Let us send her to call 20|| him to dinner. [Aside.] [Exeunt.] Benedick advances from the arbour. Bene. This can be no trick: the conference was sadly borne. They have the truth of this from Hero. They seem to pity the lady; it seems, her 25 affections have the full bent. Love me! why, it must be requited. I hear how I am censur'd: they say, I will bear myself proudly, if I perceive the love come from her; they say too, that she will rather die than give any sign of affection.-I did 30 never think to marry:-I must not seem proud:happy are they that hear their detractions, and can put them to mending. They say, the lady is fair; 'tis a truth, I can bear thein witness; and virtuous;-'tis so, I cannot reprove it-and Beat. Against my will, I am sent to bid you come in to dinner. Bene. Fair Beatrice, I thank you for your pains. Beat. I took no more pains for those thanks, than you take pains to thank me; if it had been painful, I would not have come. Bene. You take pleasure then in the message? Beat. Yea, just as much as you may take upon a knife's point, and choak a daw withal:-You have no stomach, signior? fare you well. [Exit. Bene. Ha! Against my will I am sent to bid you come into dinner-there's a double meaning in that. I took no more pains for those thanks, than you take pains to thank me-that's as much as to say, Any pains that I take for you is as easy as thanks:-If I do not take pity of her, I am a villain; if I do not love her, I am a Jew: I will go get her picture. [Exit. SCENE I. АСТ III. Continues in the Orchard. Enter Hero, Margaret, and Ursula. parlour; There shalt thou find my cousin Beatrice To listen our propose: This is thy office, That is, seriously beld. I warrant you, pre[Exit. Marg. I'll make her come, 55 |