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Page. Fie, fie, master Ford! are you not ashan'd? what spirit, what devil suggests this imagination? I would not have your distemper in this kind, for the wealth of Windsor Castle.

Ford. 'Tis my fault, master Page: I suffer for it. Eva. You suffer for a pad conscience: your wife is as honest a 'omans, as I will desires among five thousand, and five hundred too.

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Cuius. By gar, I see 'tis an honest woman. Ford. Well;-I promis'd you a dinner:-Come, 10 come. walk in the park: I pray you pardon me; I will hereafter make known to you, why I have done this. Come, wife; come, mistress Page; I pray you pardon me; pray heartily, pardon me.

Page. Let's go in, gentlemen; but, trust me, 15 we'll mock him. I do invite you to-morrow morning to my house to breakfast; after, we'll a birding together; I have a fine hawk for the bush: shall it be so?

Ford. Any thing.

Era. If there is one, I shall make two in the company.

Caius. If there be one or two, I shall make-a de turd.

Eva. In your teeth :—for shame.
Ford. Pray you go, master Page.
Eva. I pray you now, remembrance to-mor-
row on the lousy knave, mine host.

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Slen. No, she shall not dismay me: I care not for that, but that I am afeard.

Quic. Hark ye; master Slender would speak a word with you.

Anne. I come to him.-This is my father's choice. O, what a world of vile ill-favour'd faults Look handsome in three hundred pounds a-year! [Aside. Quic. And how does good master Fenton? pray you, a word with you.

Shal. She's coming; to her, coz. O boy, thou hadst a father!

Slen. I had a father, mistress Anne;-my un20cle can tell you good jests of him:-Pray you, uncle, tell mistress Anne the jest, how my father stole two geese out of a pen, good uncle.

Shal. Mistress Anne, my cousin loves you. Slen. Ay, that I do; as well as I love any wo25 man in Gloucestershire.

Cuius. Dat is good; by gar, vit all my heart. Eva. A lousy knave; to have his gibes, and 30 his mockeries.

SCENE IV.
Page's House.

[Exeunt.

Enter Fenton and Mistress Anne Page. Fent. I see, I cannot get thy father's love; Therefore no more turn me to him, sweet Nan. Anne. Alas! how then?

Fent. Why, thou must be thyself.

Shal. He will maintain you like a gentlewoman. Slen. Ay, that I will, 'come cut and long-tail, under the degree of a 'squire.

Shul. He will make you a hundred and fifty pounds jointure.

Anne. Good master Shallow, let him woo for himself.

Shal. Marry, I thank you for it; I thank you for that-good comfort. She calls you, coz: I'll 35 leave you.

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He doth object, I am too great of birth; [pence, 40
And, that, my state being gall'd with my ex-
I seek to heal it only by his wealth:
Besides these, other bars he lays before me,-
My riots past, my wild societies;
And tells me, 'tis a thing impossible
I should love thee, but as a property.
Anne. May be, he tells you true.
Fent. No, heaven so speed me in my time to
Albeit, I will confess, thy father's wealth
Was the first motive that I woo'd thee, Anne:
Yet, wooing thee, I found thee of more value
Than stamps in gold, or sums in scaled bags;
And 'tis the very riches of thyself
That now I aim at.

[come!

Anne. Gentle master Fenton,
You seek my father's love; still seek it, sir :
If opportunity and humblest suit

Cannot attain it, why then,——Hark you hither.

[Fenton and Mistress Anne go apart.]

Anne. Now, master Slender.

Slen. Now, good mistress Anne.
Anne. What is your will?

Slen. My will? od's heartlings, that's a pretty jest indeed! I ne'er made my will yet, I thank heaven; I am not such a sickly creature, I give heaven praise.

Anne. I mean, master Slender, what would you with me?

Slen. Truly, for mine own part, I would little or nothing with you: Your father and my uncle, have made motions: if it be my luck, so; if not, happy man be his dole! They can tell you how things go, better than I can: You may ask your 50 father; here he comes.

Enter Page and Mistress Page.
Page. Now, master Slender:-Love him, daugh-
ter Anne.

Why how now! what does master Fenton here?
55 You wrong me, sir, thus still to haunt my house:
I told you, sir, my daughter is dispos'd of.
Fut. Nay,master Page,be notimpatient.[child.
Mrs.Page.Goodmaster Fenton, come not to my
Page. She is no match for you.

That is, come poor, or rich, to offer himself as my rival. The phrase is derived from the forest laws, according to which, a man who had no right to the privilege of chace, was obliged to cut or late his dog, amongst other modes of disabling him, by depriving him of his tail. A dog so cut was called a cut, or curt-tail, and by contraction cur. Cat and long-tail therefore signified the dog of a clown, and the dog of a gentician. A proverbial expression,

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Fent.

Fent. Sir, will you hear me?
Page. No, good master Fenton.
Come,master Shallow ;--come, son Slender; in:-
Knowing my mind, you wrong me, master Fenton.
[Exeunt Page, Shallow, and Slender

[ners,

Quic. Speak to mistress Page. [daughter
Fent. Good mistress Page, for that I love your
In such a righteous fashion as I do,
Perforce, against all checks, rebukes, and man-
I must advance the colours of my love,
And not retire: Let me have your good-will. [fool.
Anne. Good mother, do not marry me to yon
Mrs. Page. I mean it not; I seek you a better
husband.

Quic. That's my master, master doctor.
Anne. Alas, I had rather be set quick i' the earth,
And bowl'd to death with turnips'.

Mrs. Page. Come, trouble not yourself: Good
master Fenton,

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I will not be your friend, nor enemy:
My daughter will I question how she loves you,
And as I find her, so am I affected;
Till then, farewell, sir:-She must needs go in ;
Her father will beangry. [Exe. Mrs. Page& Anne.
Fent. Farewell, gentle mistress; farewell, Nan. 25
Quic. This is my doing now:-Nay, said I, will
you castaway your child on a fool, and a physician?
Look on, master Fenton:-this is my doing.
Fent. I thank thee; and I pray thee once to-
night give my sweet Nan this ring: There's for 30
thy pains.
[Exit.

Quic. Now heaven send thee good fortune! A
kind heart he hath: a woman would run through
fire and water for such a kind heart. But vet, I
would my master had mistress Anne; or I would 35
master Slender had her; or, in sooth, I would
master Fenton had her: I will do what I can for
them all three; for so I have promis'd, and I'll be
as good as my word; but speciously for master
Fenton. Well, I must of another errand to sir 40
John Falstaff from my two mistresses: What a
beast am I to slack it!

SCENE V.

The Garter inn.
Enter Falstaff and Bardolph.
Fal. Bardolph, I say.-
Burd. Here, sir.

[Exit.

Bard. Come in, woman.

Enter Mrs. Quickly. Quic. By your leave;--I ery you mercy :--Give your worship good-morrow.

Fal. Take away these chalices: Go brew me a pottle of sack finely.

Bard. With eggs, sir?

Fal. Simple of itself; I'll no pullet-sperm in my brewage.-How now?

Quic. Marry, sir, I come to your worship from mistress Ford.

Fal. Mistress Ford! I have had ford enough: was thrown into the ford; I have my belly-full of ford.

Quic. Alas the day! good heart, that was not her fault: she does so take on with her men; they mistook their erection.

Fal. So did I mine, to build upon a foolish woman's promise.

Quic. Well, she laments, sir, for it, that it would yern your heart to see it. Her husband goes this morning a birding; she desires you once more to come to her between eight and nine: I must carry her word quickly: she'll make you amends, I warrant you.

Fal. Well, I will visit her: Tell her so: aud
bid her think, what a man is: let her consider
his frailty, and then judge of my merit.
Quic. I will tell her.

Ful. Do so. Between nine and ten, say'st thou?
Quic. Eight and nine, sir.

Fal. Well, be gone: I will not miss her.
Quic. Peace be with you, sir.
[Exit.
Fal. I marvel, I hear not of master Brock; he
45 sent me word to stay within: I like his money
well. Oh, here he comes.

Ful. Go fetch me a quart of sack; puta toast in't. [Exit Bardolph.] Have I liv'd to be carried in a 50 basket, like a barrow of butcher's offal; and to be thrown into the Thames? Well; if I be serv'd such another trick, I'll have my brains ta'en out, and butter'd, and give them to a dog for a newyear's-gift. The rogues slighted me into the river 55 with as little remorse as they would have drown'd a bitch's blind puppies, fifteen i' the litter and you may know by my size, that I have a kind of alacrity in sinking; if the bottom were as deep as hell, I should down. I had been drown'd, but 60 that the shore was shelvy and shallow; a death that I abhor; for the water swells a man; and what a

Enter Ford.

Ford. Bless you, sir!

Fal. Now, master Brook? you come to know what hath pass'd between me and Ford's wife? Ford. That, indeed, sir John, is my business. Fal. Master Brook, I will not lie to you; I was at her house the hour she appointed me. Ford. And you sped, sir?

Fal. Very ill-favour'dly, master Brook.

Ford. How, sir? Did she change her determination?

Ful. No, master Brook: but the peaking coruto her husband, master Brook, dwelling in a continual 'larum of jealousy, comes me in the instant of our encounter, after we had embrac'd, kiss'd, protested, and as it were, spoke the pro

A common proverb in the southern counties of England, She intends to say, specially.

2 That is, some time to-night. logue

logue of our comedy; and at their heels a rab-[
ble of his companions, thither provok'd and insti-
gated by his distemper, and forsooth, to search
his house for his wife's love.

Ford. What, while you were there?
Fal. While I was there.

Ford. And did he search for you, and could not find you?

Fal. You shall hear. As good luck would have it, comes in one mistress Page; gives intelli-10 gence of Ford's approach; and by her invention, and Ford's wife's distraction, they convey'd me into a buck-basket.

Ford. A buck-basket!

Fal. Yea, a buck-basket: ramm'd me in with 15 foul shirts and smocks, socks, foul stockings, and greasy napkins; that, master Brook, there was the rankest compound of villainous smell, that ever offended nostril.

Ford. And how long lay you there?

ted in their own grease: think of that, a man of my kidney-think of that; that am as subject to heat as butter; a man of continual dissolution and thaw; it was a miracle to 'scape suffocation. And in the height of this bath, when I was more than half stew'd in grease, like a Dutch dish, to be thrown into the Thames, and cool'd, glowing hot, in that surge, like a horse-shoe; think of thathissing hot-think of that, master Brook.

Ford. In good sadness, sir, I am sorry that for my sake you have suffer'd all this. My suit is then desperate; you'il undertake her no more.

Fa. Master Brook, I will be thrown into Ætna, as I have been into Thames, ere I will leave her thus. Her husband is this morning gone a birding: I have receiv'd from her another embassy of meeting: twixt eight and nine is the hour, master Brook. Ford. 'Tis past eight already, sir.

Fal. Is it? I will then address me to my ap20pointment. Come to me at your convenient leisure, and you shall know how I speed; and the conclusion shall be crown'd with your enjoying her: Adieu. You shall have her, master Brook; master Brook, you shall cuckold Ford. [Exit.

Fal. Nay, you shall hear, master Brook, what I have suffer'd to bring this woman to evil for your good. Being thus cramm'd in the basket, a couple of Ford's knaves, his hinds, were call'd forth by their mistress, to carry me in the name of foul cloath-25 to Datchet-lane: they took me on their shoulders ; met the jealous knave their master in the door; who ask'd them once or twice, what they had in thei. basket: I quak'd for fear, lest the lunatic knav would have search'd it; but fate ordaining h3will proclaim myself what I am: I will now take

Ford. Hum! ha! is this a vision? is this a dream? do I sleep? Master Ford, awake! awake, master Ford; there's a hole made in your best coat, master Ford. This 'tis to be married! this 'tis to have linen, and buck-baskets !-Well, I

the lecher; he is at my house: he cannot 'scape me; 'tis impossible he should; he cannot creep into a half-penny purse, nor into a pepper-box: but, lest the devil that guides him, should aid him, I will search impossible places. Though what I am I cannot avoid, yet to be what I would not, shall not make me tame: If I have horns to make one mad, let the proverb go with me, I'll

should be a cuckold, held his hand. Well; onwen
he for a search, and away went I for foul cloaths
But mark the sequel, master Brook: I suffer'd the
pangs of three several deaths; first, an intolerable
fright, to be detected with 'a jealous rotten beli-35
wether: next, to be compass'd, like a good bil-
bo, in the circumference of a peck, hilt to point,
heel to head: and then, to be stopp'd in, like a
strong distillation, with stinking cloaths that frete horn-mad.

[Exit.

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SCENE I.

Page's House.

Enter Mrs. Page, Mrs. Quickly, and William. Mrs. Page. Is he at master Ford's already,

think'st thou ?

150

Quic. Sure, he is by this; or will be presently but truly, he is very courageous mad, about his 55 throwing into the water. Mistress Ford desires

you to come suddenly.

Mrs. Page. I'll be with her by and by; I'll bat bring my young man here to school: Look,where his master comes; 'tis a playing-day, I see.

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Enter Sir Hugh Evans.

How now, sir Hugh? no school to-day?
Era. No; master Slender is let the boys leave
to play.

Quic. Blessing of his heart!

Mrs. Page. Sir Hugh, my husband says, my son profits nothing in the world at his book; I pray you, ask him some questions in his accidence.

Eva. Come hither, William;-hold up your head; come.

Mrs. Page. Come on, sirrah; hold up your head; answer your master, be not afraid."

Eva. Williain, how many numbers is in nouns?

A bilbo is a Spanish blade, of which the excellence is flexiin this phrase now signifies kind or qualities; but Falstaff means, That is, make myself ready.

With was sometimes used for of bleness and elasticity. 3 Kidney a man whose kidneys are as fal as mine.

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Eva. What is your genitive case plural, Wil-35
Will. Genitive case?

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Quic. You do ill to teach the child such words: he teaches him to hick and to hack, which they'li do fast enough of themselves; and to call horum:-fie upon you!

Eva. 'Oman, art thou lunatics? hast thou no understanding for thy cases, and the numbers of the genders? thou art a foolish christian creatures, as I would desires.

Mrs. Page. Pr'ythee, hold thy peace. Era. Shew me now, William, some declensions of your pronouns.

Will. Forsooth, I have forgot.

40

45

Airs. Ford. He's a-birding, sweet sir John. Mrs. Page. [Within.] What hoa, gossip Ford!

what hoa!

Mrs. Ford. Step into the chamber, sir John. [Exit Falstaf

Enter Mrs. Page.

Mrs. Page. How now, sweetheart? who's at home besides yourself?

Mrs. Ford. Why, none but my own people. Mrs. Page. Indeed?

[Aside. Mrs. Ford. No, certainly-Speak louder. Mrs. Page. Truly, I am so glad you have nobody here.

Mrs. Ford. Why?

Mrs. Page. Why, woman, your husband is in his old lunes' again: he so takes on * yonder with my husband; so rails against all married mankind; so curses all Eve's daughters, of what complexion soever; and so buffets himself on the forehead, crying, 'Peer-out, peer-out! that any madness, I ever yet beheld, seem'd but tameness, civility, and patience, to this distemper he is in now: I am glad the fat knight is not here.

Mrs. Ford. Why, does he talk of him?

Mrs. Page. Of none but him; and swears, he was carried out, the last time he search'd for him, in a basket; protests to my husband, he is now here; and hath drawn him and the rest of their company from their sport, to make another experiment of his suspicion: but I am glad the knight is not here; now he shall see his own foolery. Mrs. Ford. How near is he, mistress Page? Mrs. Page. Hard by; at street end; he will 50 be here anon.

Eva. It is ki, ka, cod; if you forget your kies, your kas, and your cods, you must be preeches'. 55 Go your ways and play, go.

Mrs. Page. He is a better scholar than I thought he was.

Mrs. Ford. I am undone!-the knight is here. Mrs. Page. Why, then thou art utterly sham'd, and he's but a dead man. What a woman are you? Away with him, away with him; better shame than murther.

Mrs. Ford. Which way should he go? how should I bestow him? Shall I put him into the basket again?

Sir Hugh means to say, You must be breech'd, i. e. flogg'd. To breech is to flog. 2 This word is still in use, and signifies ready, alert, sprightly; it is pronounced as if it was written―sprack. "That is, lunacy, frenzy. *To take on, now used for to grieve, seems to be used by our author

for to rage.

That is, appear horns.

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Enter Falstaff. Fal. No, I'll come no more?? the basket: May I not go out, ere he come?

Mrs. Page. Alas, three of master Ford's brothers watch the door with pistols, that none 5 should issue out; otherwise you might slip away ere he came.-But what make you here?

Fal. What shall I do? I'll creep up into the chimney.

Mrs. Ford. Go, sirs, take the basket again on your shoulders; your master is hard at door; if he bid you set it down, obey him: quickly, dispatch. [Exeunt Mrs. Page and Mrs. Ford. Enter Servants with the basket. 1 Serv. Come, come, take up.

2 Serv. Pray heaven, it be not full of the knight again.

1 Serv. I hope not; I had as lief bear so much

Mrs. Ford. There they always used to discharge 10 lead. their birding-pieces: creep into the kiln-hole.

Fal. Where is it?

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Mrs. Ford. If you go out in your own semblance, you die, sir John; unless you go out dis-20 guis'd-How might we disguise him?

Mrs. Page. Alas the day, I know not. There is no woman's gown big enough for him; otherwise, he might put on a hat, a mufller, and a kerchief, and so escape.

Fal. Good hearts, devise something: any extremity, rather than a mischief.

25

Mrs. Ford. My maid's aunt, the fat woman of Brentford, has a gown above. Mrs. Page. On my word, it will serve him ; 30 she's as big as he is; and there's her thrum hat, and her muffler too: Run up, sir John.

2

Mrs. Ford. Go go, sweet sir John: mistress Page, and I, will look some linen for your head. Mrs. Page. Quick, quick; we'll come dress you 35 straight: put on the gown the while. [Exit Falstaf

Mrs. Ford. I would, my husband would meet him in this shape: he cannot abide the old wontan at Brentford; he swears, she's a witch, forbade her my house, and hath threatened to beat her. 40 Mrs. Page. Heaven guide him to thy husband's cudgel; and the devil guide his cudgel afterwards! Mrs. Ford. But is my husband coming? Mrs. Page. Ay, in good sadness, is he; and talks of the basket too, howsoever he hath had 45 intelligence.

Mrs. Ford. We'll try that; for I'll appoint my men to carry the basket again, to meet him at the door with it, as they did last time.

Mrs. Page. Nay, but he'll be here presently: 50 let's go dress him like the witch of Brentford.

Mrs. Ford. I'll first direct my men what they shall do with the basket. Go up, I'll bring linen for him straight.

Mrs. Page. Hang him, dishonest varlet! we 55 cannot misuse him enough.

We'll leave a proof, by that which we will do,
Wives may be merry, and yet honest too:
We do not act, that often jest and laugh;

"Tis old but true, Still swine eat all the draugh. [60]

Enter Ford, Shallow, Page, Caius, and Sir Hugh Evans.

Ford. Ay, but if it prove true, master Page, have you any way then to unfool me again?-Set down the basket, villain:-Somebody call my wife:Youth in a basket! Oh, you pandarly rascals!— there's a knot, a gang, a pack, a conspiracy,against me: Now shall the devil be sham'd.What! wife, I say! come, come forth; behold what honest cloaths you send forth to bleaching.

Page. Why, this passes*! Master Ford, you are not to go loose any longer; you must be pinion'd. Eva. Why this is lunatics! this is mad as mad dog!

Shal. Indeed, master Ford, this is not well; indeed.

Enter Mrs. Ford.

Ford. So say I too, sir.-Come hither, mistress Ford;-mistress Ford, the honest woman, the modest wife, the virtuous creature, that hath the jealous fool to her husband!-I suspect without cause, mistress, do I?

Mrs. Ford. Heaven be my witness, you do, if you suspect me in any dishonesty.

Ford. Well said, brazen-face; hold it out.Come forth, sirrah. [Pulls the clouths out of the Page. This passes*. [basket. Mrs. Ford. Are you not asham'd? let the cloaths alone.

Ford. I shall find you anon.

Eva. 'Tis unreasonable! Will you take up your wife's cloaths? come away.

Ford. Empty the basket, I say.
Mrs. Ford. Why, man, why,-

Ford. Master Page, as I am a man, there was one convey'd out of my house yesterday in this basket; Why may not he be here again? In my house I am sure he is: my intelligence is true; my jealousy is reasonable: Pluck me out all the linen.

Mrs. Ford. If you find a man there he shall die a flea's death.

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Era. Master Ford, you must pray, and not follow the imaginations of your own heart: this is jealousies.

Ford. Well, he's not here I seek for.

Page. No, nor no where else but in your brain.

That is, a list, an inventory. The thrum is the end of a weaver's warp, and was probably used for making coarse hats. A muffler was some part of dress that cover'd the face. To pass means here, to go beyond bounds. Meaning, this is below your character.

Ford.

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