Ford. Help to search my house this one time: if I find not what I seek, shew no colour for my extremity, let me for ever be your table-sport; let them say of me, As jealous as Ford, that search'd a hollow wall-nut for his wife's leman'. Satisfy 5 me once more, once more search with me. Mrs. Ford. What hoa, mistress Page! come you and the old woman down; my husband will come into the chamber. Ford. Old woman! what old woman's that? Mrs. Ford. Why, it is my maid's aunt of Brentford. 10 Ford. A witch, a quean, an old cozening quean! Have I not forbid her my house? She comes of errands, does she? We are simple men:15 we do not know what's brought to pass under the profession of fortune-telling. She works by charms, by spells, by the figure, and such daubery 2 as this is: beyond our element: we know no thing.Come down, you witch; you hag you,|20| come down I say. Mrs. Ford. Nay, good sweet husband;-good gentlemen, let him not strike the old woman. Enter Falstaffinwomen's cloaths, led by Mrs. Page. Mrs. Page. Come, mother Prat, come, give 25 me your hand. Ford. I'll prat her:-Out of my doors, you witch! [Beats him.] you hag, you baggage, you poulcat, you ronyon! out! out! I'll conjure you, I'll fortune-tell you. [Exit Fal. 30 Mrs. Page. Are you not asham'd?" I think, you have kill'd the poor woman. Mrs. Ford. Nay, he will do it:-Tis a goodly credit for you. Ford. Hang her, witch! 35 Eva. By yea and no, I think the 'oman is a witch indeed: I like not when a 'omans has a great peard; I spy a great peard under his muttler. Ford. Will you follow, gentlemen? I beseech you follow; see but the issue of my jealousy: it 40 I cry out thus upon no trail', never trust me when I open again. Page. Let's obey his humour a little further:Come, gentlemen. [Exeunt. Mrs.Page. Trust me he beat him most pitifully. 45 Mrs. Ford. Nay, by the mass, that he did not; he beat him most unpitiully, methought. Mrs. Page. I'll have the cudgel hallow'd, and hung o'er the altar; it hath done meritorious service. Mrs. Ford. What think you? may we, with the warrant of womanhood, and the witness of a good conscience, pursue him with any further revenge? Mrs. Page. Yea, by all means, if it be but to scrape the figures out of your husband's brains. If they can find in their hearts, the poor unvirtuous fat knight shall be any further afflicted, we two will be still the ministers. Mrs. Ford. I'll warrant, they'll have him publicly sham'd: and, methinks, there would be no period to the jest, should he not be publicly sham'd. Mrs. Page. Come, to the forge with it, then, shape it: I would not have things cool. [Exeunt. SCENE III. The Garter inn. Enter Host and Bardolph. Bard. Sir, the Germans desire to have three of your horses: the duke himself will be to-morrow at court, and they are going to meet him. Host. What duke should that be, comes so secretly? I hear not of him in the court: let me speak with the gentlemen; they speak English? Bard. Sir, I'll call them to you. Host. They shall have my horses; but I'll make them pay, I'll sauce them: they have had my houses a week at command; I have turn'd away my other guests: they must come off"; I'll sauce them: come. [Exeunt. SCENE IV. Enter Page, Ford, Mrs. Page, Mrs. Ford, and Era. 'Tis one of the best discretions of a 'omans as ever I did look upon. Puge. And did he send you both these letters at an instant? Mrs. Page. Within a quarter of an hour. Ford. Pardon me, wite: Henceforth do what thou wilt: [stand, I rather will suspect the sun with cold, Page. 'Tis well, 'tis well; no more. But let our plot go forward; let our wives Mrs. Page. The spirit of wantonness is, sure, scar'd out of him; if the devil have him not in fee 55 simple, with fine and recovery, he will never, I think, in the way of waste, attempt us again. Mrs. Ford. Shall we tell our husbands how we have served him? 1 At midnight! fie, fie; he will never come. Eva. You say, he hath been thrown into the rivers; and hath peen grievously peaten, as an old, Poman: methinks, there should be terrors in him, 1 Lover. Leman is derived from leef, Dutch, beloved, and man. 2 Dauberies are disguises. Ronyon, applied to a woman, imports much the same with scall or scab spoken of a man. This expression is borrowed from hunting. Trail is the scent left by the passage of the game. To cry out, is to open or bark. Meaning, there would be no proper catastrophe. That is, they that that he should not come: methinks, his flesh is and I will be like a jack-an-apes also, to burn the punish'd, he shall have no desires. knight with my taber. Page. So think I too. Mrs. Ford. Devise but how you'll use him when he comes, And let us two devise to bring him hither. 5 10 Sometime a keeper here in Windsor forest, Ford. This will be excellent. I'll go buy them vizards. Mrs. Page. My Nan shall be the queen of all the fairies, Finely attired in a robe of white. Puge. That silk will I go buy:-and in that time Shall master Slender steal my Nan away, [Aside. And marry her at Eton.Go, send to Falstaff straight. Ford. Nay, I'll to him again in the name of Brook: He'll tell me all his purpose. Sure, he'll come. Mrs. Page. Fear not you that: Go, get us proAnd tricking for our fairies. [pertiess Eva. Let us about it: It is admirable pleasures, and fery honest knaveries. [Exeunt Page, Ford, and Evans. Mrs. Page. Go, mistress Ford, 20 Send Quickly to sir John, to know his mind. [Exit Mrs. Ford. I'll to the doctor; he hath my good-will, And none but he, to marry with Nan Page. That Slender, though well-landed, is an ideot; And he my husband best of all affects: The doctor is well-money'd, and his friends Potent at court; he, none but he, shall have her, Though twenty thousand worthier come to crave [Exit. Mrs. Ford. Marry, this is our device;- What shall be done with him? what is your plot? Nan Page my daughter, and my little son, [dress Mrs. Ford. And till he tell the truth, Mrs. Page. The truth being known, Ford. The children must Be practis'd well to this, or they'll ne'er do't. 35 her. SCENE V. The Garter inn. Host. What would'st thou have, boor? what, thick-skin? speak, breathe, discuss; brief, short, quick, snap. Simp. Marry, sir, I come to speak with sir John Falstaff from master Slender. Host. There's his chamber, his house, his castle, 40 his standing-bed, and truckle-bed'; 'tis painted about with the story of the prodigal, fresh and new; Go, knock and call; he'll speak like an Anthropophaginian unto thee: Knock, I say. Simp. There's an old woman, a fat woman, 45 gone up into his chamber; P'll be so bold as stay, sir, 'till she come down: I come to speak with her, indeed. Host. Ha! a fat woman! the knight may be robb'd: I'll call.- Bully knight! Bully sir 50 John! speak from thy lungs military: Art thou there? It is thine host, thine Ephesian, calls. Falstaff above. Fal. How now, mine host? Host. Here's a Bohemian Tartar' tarries the To take, here means to seize or strike with a disease. Meaning, age. 3 Urchin is a hedgelog; but is here used to signify any thing little and dwarfish. Ouph is a fairy or goblin. * Dr. Warburton says, this signifies a song that strikes out into wild sentiments beyond the bounds of nature, such as those whose subject is fairy land. Properties are incidental necessaries to a theatre, exclusive of scenes and dresses. To trick, is to dress out. 'The usual furniture of chambers in those times consisted of a standing bed, under which was a truckle, or running bed. In the former lay the master, and in the latter the servant. That is, a Cannibal. The Host uses this high-sounding word to astonish Simple; an effect which he probably likewise means to produce by the word Ephesian, which follows. See the preceding note. 11 coming coming down of thy fat woman: Let her descend, bully, let her descend; my chambers are honourable: Fie! privacy? fie! Enter Falstaff. Fal. There was, mine host, an old fat woman even now, with me; but she's gone. Simp. Pray you, sir, was't not the wise woman of Brentford? Fal. Ay, marry was it, mussel-shell'; What would you with her? Simp. My master, sir, master Slender, sent to her, seeing her go through the street, to know, sir, whether one Nym, sir, that beguil'd him of a chain, had the chain, or no. Fal. I spake with the old woman about it. Fal. Marry, she says, that the very same man, that beguil'd master Slender of his chain, cozen'd him of it. 5 horses and money. I tell you for good-will, look Caius. Vere is mine Host de Jarterre? Cuius. I cannot tell vat is dat : But it is tell-a10me, dat you make a grand preparation for a duke de Jamany: by my trot, dere is no duke, dat de court is know, to come: I tell you for good-vill: adieu. [Exit. Host. Hue and cry, villain, go! assist me, knight; I am undone :-fly, run, hue and cry, villain! I'm undone ! [Exit. 15 Simp. I would I could have spoken with the 20 woman herself; I had other things to have spoken with her too, from him. Fal. What are they? let us know. Simp. I may not conceal them, sir, Simp. Why, sir, they were nothing but about mistress Anne Page; to know, if it were my master's fortune to have her, or no. Fal. 'Tis, 'tis his fortune. Fal. To have her-or no: Go; say the woman told me so. Simp. May I be so bold to say so, sir? Ful. I would all the world might be cozen'd; for I have been cozen'd, and beaten too. If it should come to the ear of the court, how I have been transform'd, and how my transformation hath been wash'd and cudgel'd, they would melt me out of my fat, drop by drop, and liquor fishermen's boots with me: I warrant, they would whip me with their fine wits, till I were as crest25 faln as a dry'd pear. I never prosper'd since I foreswore myself at Primero'. Well, if my wind were but long enough to say my prayers, I would [repent.Enter Mistress Quickly. 30 Now! whence came you? 35 Fal, Ay, that there was, mine host; one, that 40 hath taught me more wit than ever I learn'd before in my life; and I paid nothing for it neither, but was paid for my learning. Enter Bardolph. Bard. Out, alas, sir! cozenage! mere cozenage! 45 Host. Where be my horses! speak well of them, varletto. Bard. Run away with the cozeners: for so soon as I came beyond Eaton, they threw me off, from behind one of them, in a slough of mire; and set spurs, and away, like three German devils, three Doctor Faustus's. Host. They are gone but to meet the duke, villain: do not say, they are fled; Germans are honest men. Enter Sir Hugh Evans. Eva. Where is mine host? Quick. From the two parties, forsooth. Fal. The devil take one party, and his dam the other, and so they shall be both bestow'd! I have suffer'd more for their sakes, more, than the villainous inconstancy of man's disposition is able to bear. Quic. And have not they suffer'd? yes, I warrant; speciously one of them; mistress Ford, good heart, is beaten black and blue, that you cannot see a white spot about her. Fal. What tell'st thou me of black and blue? I was beaten myself into all the colours of the rainbow; and I was like to be apprehended for the witch of Brentford; but that my admirable dexterity of wit, counterfeiting the action of an old woman, deliver'd me, the knave constable had set me i' the stocks, i' the common stocks, for a witch. Quic. Sir, let me speak with you in your cham50ber: you shall hear how things go; and, I warrant, to your content. Here is a letter will say somewhat. Good hearts, what ado is here to bring you together! sure one of you does not serve heaven well, that you are so cross'd. Fal. Come up into my chamber. [Exeunt. SCENE VI. 55 Eva. Have a care of your entertainments: there is a friend of mine come to town, tells me, there 60 is three couzin-germans, that has cozen'd all the hosts of Readings, of Maidenhead, of Colebrook, of Enter Fenton and Host. Host. Master Fenton, talk not to me; my mind is heavy, I will give over all. Fent. Yet hear me speak: Assist me in my purpose, Falstaff probably calls Simple muss l-shell, from his standing with his mouth open. ? That is, scholar-like. A game at cards. And And, as I am a gentleman, I'll give thee Fent. From time to time I have acquainted you [one, 20 [Shewing a letter. 15 25 (For they must all be mask'd and vizarded) Fent. Both, my good host, to go along with me; To give our hearts united ceremony. [vicar: Host. Well, husband your device; I'll to the Bring you the maid, you shall not lack a priest. Fent. So shall I evermore be bound to thee; Besides I'll make a present recompence.[Exeunt. SCENE I. A CT V. Enter Falstaff and Mrs. Quickly. 35shape of man, master Brook, I fear not Goliah I'll hold: This is the third time: I hope good luck lies in odd numbers. Away, go; they 40 say there is divinity in odd numbers, either in nativity, chance or death.-Away. Quic. I'll provide you a chain; and I'll do what Enter Ford. How now, master Brook? Master Brook, the Ford. Went you not to her yesterday, sir, as you told me you had appointed? Fal. I went to her, master Brook, as you see, like a poor old man: but I came from her, mas-55 ter Brook, like a poor old woman. That same knave, Ford her husband, hath the finest mad devil of jealousy in him, master Brook, that ever govern'd frenzy. I will tell you.-He beat me grievously, in the shape of a woman; for in the 60 SCENE II. Enter Page, Shallow, and Slender. Page. Come, come; we'll couch i' the castleditch, till we see the light of our fairies.-Remember, son Slender, my daughter. Slen. Ay, forsooth; I have spoke with her, and we have a nay-word how to know one another. I come to her in white, and cry, mum; she cries, budget; and by that we know one another. Shal. That's good too: But what needs either your mum, or her budget? the white will decipher her well enough.-It hath sruck ten o'clock. Page. The night is dark; light and spirits will Even here means as. • Perhaps we As quaint signifies fantastical, the meaning may be, fantastically drest in To mince is to walk with affected delicacy. ? That is, a watch-word. That is, the representation. 2 In the letter. should read denote. green. become SCENE III. Enter Mistress Page, Mistress Ford, and Dr.Caius. Mrs. Page. Master doctor, my daughter is in green: when you see your time, take her by the hand, away with her to the deanery, and dispatch it quickly: Go before into the park; we two must go together. 5 10 Caius. I know vat I have to do; Adieu. [Erit. Mrs. Page. Fare you well, sir. My husband will not rejoice so much at the abuse of Falstaff, as he will chafe at the doctor's marrying my daugh-15 ter: but 'tis no matter; better a little chiding, than a great deal of heart-break. Mrs. Ford. Where is Nan now, and her troop of fairies? and the Welch devil Evans? Mrs. Page. They are all couch'd in a pit hard by Herne's oak, with obscur'd lights; which, at 20 the very instant of Falstaff's and our meeting, they will at once display to the night. Mrs. Ford. That cannot chuse but amaze him. Mrs. Page. If he be not amaz'd, he will be mock'd; if he be amaz'd, he will every way be mock'd. 25 Mrs. Ford. We'll betray him finely. [lechery, Mrs. Page. Against such lewdsters, and their Those that betray them do no treachery. Mrs. Ford. The hour draws on; To the oak, to 30 the oak! [Exeunt. SCENE IV: Enter Mrs. Ford and Mrs. Page. Mrs. Ford. Sir John? art thou there, my dear? my male deer? Fal. My doe with the black scut?-Let the sky rain potatoes, let it thunder to the tune of Green Sleeves; hail kissing-comtits, and snow eringoes; let there come a tempest of provocation, I will shelter me here. Mrs. Ford. Mistress Page is. come with me, sweetheart. Ful. Divide me like a bribe-buck, eacha haunch: I will keep my sides to myself, my shoulders for the fellow of this walk, and my horns I bequeath like Herne the hunter?-Why, now is Cupid a your husbands. Am I woodman? ha! Speak I child of conscience; he makes restitution. As I am a true spirit, welcome! [Noise within. Mrs. Page. Alas! what noise? Mrs. Page: Away, away.[The women run out. Fal. I think the devil will not have me damn'd' lest the oil that is in me should set hell on fire; he never would else cross me thus. Enter Sir Hugh like a satyr ; Quickly, and others dress'd like fairies, with tapers. Quick. Fairies, black, grey, green, and white, You moon-shine revellers, and shades of night, You orphan-heirs of fixed destiny, Attend your office, and your quality.— Crier Hobgoblin, make the fairy o-yes. [toys. Eva. Elves, list your names; silence, you airy Cricket, to Windsor chimnies shalt thou leap : 35 Where fires thou find'st unrak'd, and hearths unThere pinch the maids as blue as bilberry"; [swept, Our radiant queen hates sluts, and sluttery. [die: Fal. They are fairies; he, that speaks to them, shall I'll wink and couch: No man their works must eye. [Lies down upon his face. Eva. Where's Bede ?-Go you, and where you find a maid, 1401 Enter Falstaff with a buck's head on. Fal. The Windsor bell hath struck twelve; the minute draws on: Now, the hot-blooded gods assist me!-Remember, Jove, thou wast a bull for thy Europa; love set on thy horns.-Oh powerful love! that, in some respects, makes a beast a man, 45 in some other, a man a beast.-You were also, Jupiter, a swan, for the love of Leda;-Qh, omnipotent love! how near the god drew to the complexion of a goose!—A fault done first in the form of a beast;-O Jove, a beastly fault!-and then 50 another fault in the semblance of a fowl;-think on't, Jove; a foul fault. When gods have hot backs, what shall poor men do? For me, I am here a Windsor stag; and the fattest, I think, '55 the forest: Send me a cool rut-time, Jove, or who can blame me to piss my tallow? Who comes here? my doe? 2 That, ere she sleep, hath thrice her prayers said, Search Windsor castle, elves, within and out: 1 A technical phrase spoken of bucks who grow lean after rutting-time, and may be applied to men. Potatoes, when they were first introduced in England, were supposed to be strong provocatives. Sugar pluins perfum'd to make the breath sweet. That is, for the keeper of this district. By custom, the shoulders and humbles were a perquisite of the keeper's. The whortleberry, called bilberry in Staffordshire, and on which the More game feed. That is, elevate her ideas above sensual desires and imaginations. Wholsome here signifies entire or perfect. 5 And |