to exprefs, to petition, to grant, to remonftrate, and to fqueak. The anfwers to my questions refpecting Pittarchy were ridiculous enough. One faid, "I have a flice of the loan ;" another, "My brother is promised the lottery;" and a third, " My uncle has a contract:" Expreffions, which will not bear tranflating, there being no English idioms which correfpond with them.

Notwithstanding the inability of the Albionites to explain Pittarchy, they are fo remarkably attached to it, that they never fail to punifh any man who endeavours to fpeak against it. Their punishments are chiefly calling opprobrious names, burning houses, or threatening with the gallows; nay, if a man were to go fo far as to fay that it is not perfect, he would undoubtedly be accufed of an intention to dethrone the king, murder all the lords and bishops, burn towns and villages, ravish virgins, and rip up women with child. During our flay in the ifland, therefore, we found it neceffary to be guarded in our communications with the natives; yet, in fpite of all precaution, my fervant had like to have got into a very ugly fcrape. The poor fellow had been drinking, and the drink getting up into his head, he began to fancy himself in a Chriftian country, and drank Peace on earth and good svill towards men. This created no little confufion, as they maintained that he was a spy; but I had hopes the worft was over. Next night, however, when he went to fee a play, fome of his pot companions recognised him, and calling out Boo, dammee, boo (which means God fave the King), they turned him neck and heels out of the houfe. Not that he fared worfe than fome of themselves; for we were told, that a poor clergyman, who had made a difcourfe on thefe very words, was ferved in the fame manner by about twenty or thirty of the rabble, who had disguised themselves in the military uniform for the purpofe.

But let it not be thought that the blind attachment of the Albionites to their Pittarchy is fingular. We

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obferved

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obferved them equally enthufiaftic in other matters. A neighbouring nation, or at least fome of the people of it, had amufed themselves for fome time in throwing Ioofe papers at fuch of the Albionites as they met with, upon which were written-" Neither God nor devil," Equality," and fome other ftrange words. The Albionites immediately took it into their heads that Pittarchy, religion, and property were in danger. They immediately declared war, fhut up their fhops one day for three years, and ate nothing but fifh and foups. But it fo happened that they were defeated in all their undertakings, and, from the origin of the war, got the name of paper skulls. This ftory appeared to me fo incredible, that I made many inquiries refpecting it; and although I found that it was literally true, I could not get any man to tell me what religion they were fighting for; and they expreffed an indignation approaching to abhorrence, when I put fuch questions as, "Whether any religion could be fupported by fighting? Whether a good religion did not forbid all wars that were not purely defenfive? Whether the Author of the only good religion was not in an efpecial 'manner termed the Prince of Peace, &c. &c.?”

In England, it is nctorious, that in the choice of perfons to fill the higheft ftations either in the flate, the church, or the army, no regard is paid to any recommendations of intereft. Ability, integrity, and industry are the only qualifications by which a man can rife in thefe great departments. But the cafe is the very reverfe with the people whofe hiftory I have attempted to fketch. Their ftatefmen are the most corrupt, weak, and idle, that can be fuppofed. For months together the public hear no more of them than that on fuch a day they dined together, or on such a day they went on a party of pleasure. Nay, if any of them, upon entering an office, happen to be poffeffed of any good qualities, he muft get rid of them as faft as poffible, which is faid to be no difficult matter; otherwife

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otherwise he is not deemed fit for his place. The more corrupt a statesman is, that is, the more perfons he can corrupt, the more popular he is; and fo very popular does he become, that he may plunge the nation into the most dangerous of all poffible wars, and reduce the kingdom to the greatest diftrefs, by carrying on that war in a manner the most weak and wicked imaginable, and yet retain his fituation. Very lately, one of their ftatefmen, who was appointed to the government of a particular diftrict, bargained with his colleagues that he should grant the people certain pri- · vileges which they thought themfelves entitled to; but no fooner did he fhew an inclination to gratify them, than his colleagues came, and, as their cuftom is, ftuck his feat full of pins and needles, fo that he was obliged to leave it. They feldom turn any man out, as is done in other countries, but they render his feat fo uneafy, that he cannot fit upon it with fafety; and fome times they befmear it fo with filth, that he must leave it, or be defiled.

The fame fyftem prevails in their appointment in the church and army. Hence their regiments are commanded by boys; but the lieutenants and inferior officers, it must be confeffed, are men of years, and might be useful, only that it is prefumption in them to offer their experience. In the church, they have a very curious plan. The man who does the moft duty, or bufinefs, rarely has more than from thirty to fifty quids a year. A quid is a coin nearly equal to our guinea. He who does fomewhat lefs has an hundred, and he who does yet lefs has two or three, and fo on progreffively till we come to thofe who have thousands, and who are not expected to do any duty. Living, as we are accustomed to do, in a land of wife men and philofophers, we do not grudge the opulence of the epifcopal order; but leaving them out of the question, furely, miferable and contemptible must be the state of religion in that kingdom where profit is in the in

verfe ratio of merit and industry; and where immenfe livings are frequently given to the most notorious fcoun. There is part of this leaf fo much torn as to be illegible.]

MR. BALDWIN

CRIM. CON.

IN most of the late trials for Crim. Con. alias adul tery, alias an affair of gallantry, alias a flip, alias a faux pas, I obferve that the defence fet up 15, that the hufband expofed his wife to temptation, by not being fufficiently attentive to her; or by not guarding her fufficiently; or by being abfent from her for a time, &c." In fome cafes the juries appear to have liftened to fuch a mode of defence; in others it has been rejected.

Now, Mr. Baldwin, what are we married men to think of all this? Is the fair fex become fo very frail, and difficult to keep, that a husband muft guard his wife, like a ftate prifoner, allow none of his friends to fee her, and forbid her the ufe of pen and ink? Muft the Spanish fyftem of duenņas and padlocks be received in this country? Or is my wife juftified in com-' mitting crim. can. becaufe I frequently invite an officer of the guards, a colonel, and fome other dangerous friends, to my table? Nay, more, cannot I take a journey into the country, upon the most urgent bufinefs, without being accused of being off my guard, and expofing my wife to temptation ?

I think a

Really, Sir, thefe are ferious matters. general meeting of husbands ought to be called, to confider what is proper to be done in fuch an alarming emergency. For my own part, I know not what to propofe. I am often obliged to go journies of a week, and fometimes ten days at a time. To the beft of my knowledge and belief, I have hitherto efcaped, but

Printer of the St. James's Chronicle.

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how long I fhall be able to escape, if fuch a mode of defence is fupported in the courts of law, I know not: and if my fituation be perilous, what are we to think of the officers of the land and fea fervice, and of tains of Eaft Indiamen? With great piety do I repeat the prayer for all travellers by fea or land,"-who have handfome wives. There is a neceffity for this prayer, which I never before was fenfible of; and which you may perceive has no connexion with ftorms and fhipwreck.

In my humble opinion, we pay no very great compliment to the ladies, when we fuppofe that they want to be more clofely watched and guarded after marriage than before it. Inftances of crim. con. it is true, are abominably frequent, but it is a poor defence to infift that a husband ought to be his wife's jailsr, and in his abfence employ turnkeys to prevent her efcape. That which requires fo much watching is feldom worth the care and trouble of it; and fmall, indeed, is our fecurity, if bolts and bars are all we have to depend on. I am, Sir, in much trepidation, Your very much frightened humble Servant, ANTICORNU,

SIR,

IN fpite of Anticornu's affertion, that he has a firm reliance on the virtue of his wife, I am convinced he is fome cuckold, whofe connivance at the levity of his fpoufe has difappointed him in his expectations of enormous damages.

According to your correfpondent's doctrine, Cato, in a modern crim. con. action, would recover heavy damages against his friend Hortenfius, though Cato had obligingly lent him his wife. Cuckoldom is fo lucrative a ftate, that the virtue of the Cenfor could hardly have withstood the temptation of expofing himfelf in a Court of Justice.

The tines, Sir, are much altered fince my dancing

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