MR. EDITOR, ./ THERE is one article of vaft confumption yet untouched I mean wind; why does not our able Financier tax that? Perhaps he wishes to be tender to an article that has entered fo largely into the compofition of all his fpecches, and in which all his fchemes have ended. But we are too far gone in taxation to omit one that would increafe the revenue as much as moft he has lately propofed; for it is an article in which every body deals more or lefs, I would propofe, therefore, that mafters of hips fake out licenfes for fair, winds, at voyage. per Boats on the Thames, fcullers, barges, and Margate hoys, not to fail before the wind, unless properly qualified. The inhabitants of St. Paul's Churchyard to be affeffed for the additional wind of that place, and the exhibitions arifing therefrom. Winds to be differently, rated, according to their ac value. Winds from the north to be put under Mr. Dundas's direction. Loud winds which are privately difpofed of, to pay ad valorem, and all chinks to be regularly inspected by the officers of the Excife. A heavy duty on the wind that blows nobody good, which, perhaps, will fall perfonally on Minifterial quarters. Perfons afflicted with wind to take out permits enabling them to export free of duty.... The commiflioners to make their affeffments twice a year, that the public may not evade the tax, or fhew any backwardnefs in contributing to the defence of focial order and religion. R 2 I would I would likewife propofe a tax of ten per cent. upon all windfalls. If thefe fuggeftions are adopted, I hope they will convince our enemies that our resources are not eafily to be exhausted, and that, although we have taxed every thing we can lay our hands upon, there is ftill fomething in the wind." I am, your humble fervant, EOLUS. P. S. I hope you will infert the above, as a puff for the Minifter. The inundation of Sonnets, with which we have been for the last ten years overrun, has juftly made our fentimental Sonnetteers objects of ridicule. NEHEMIAH HIGGINBOTTOM, in the Monthly Magazine, imitates their infipidities with good effect in the following fpecimen. PENSIVE at eve, on the hard world-I mus'd, And mus'd me on those wretched ones, who pafs But, alas! Moft of MYSELF I thought; when it befell, NEHEMIAH HIGGINBOTTOM. GRAND GRAND EXHIBITION! [From the Telegraph.] SIGNIOR GULIELMO PITTACHIO, The SUBLIME WONDER of the WORLD!! ADVERTISES in due Form--And graciously makes KNOWN To the Great and Magnificent PERSONAGES, AND ALSO To the Hungry MULTITUDE of SWINE, WHICH ARE STARVING THEREIN !!! That he has with uncommon Expenfe, Affiduity, and Labour, contrived A MAGIC LANTERN, Of fuch peculiar and wonderful Properties, as almost to baffle Defcription! Its Luftre is charmingly obfcure, and may be ftyled, in Oppofition to the Remark of one Mr. MILTON, Not DARKNESS, but rather LIGHT INVISIBLE. Nothing is clear, nothing is prominent, nothing is precife, yet a strange Succeffion of interesting Skadows pafs before the ravifhed Eyes of the Spectators, In a moft Coftly and Unmeaning Manner, The Exhibition is divided into Three Parts-Arranged as follows: PART I. The CONQUEST of QUIBERON! The Slaughter exquifitely finished-and the Dying Emigrants capitally coloured. The like was never feen by Man, or recorded by History. -N. B. The. Signior particularly values himself upon this exquifite Difplay. A full Length Portrait of a KING, in his Royal Robes, Urging, as it were, a Continuation of a Juft and Neceffary War. R 3 Never Never was any THING prettier feen upon Earth. His Royal Highness the PRINCE of WALES, (In the Character of Fortunatus,) Endeavouring in vain to empty his inexhaustible Purfe. The Chiaro-obfcuro is allowed to be inimitable. JOHN BULL wrestling with the DEVIL, and the Devil too strong for him. This is comical in the extreme, and enough to make a Bishop fplit his Sides with laughing-Ha! ha! ba! A PEN'ORTH of BREAD for SIXPENCE! Or, the BAKERS in the DUMPS. The Lantern fhews this with wonderful Effect... Quality and Equality; or, England and France contrafted! At the Conclufion of the First Part, Gulielmo Pistachio himfelf will drink Four Bottles of Burgundy to the Health of the British Nation. After which, he will entertain the Company with a ́humorous Account of The ART of RAISING MILLIONS! By any Man, who knows how to ride on HORSEBACK upon an ASS!!! PART II. The Magic Lantern will now difplay in full Beauty, The Gallant EARL of MOIRA preparing to embark for NO WHERE!!! An exact Reprefentation of that brave, courteous, and adventurous Knight, SIR SIDNEY SMITH-EXPECTED at WEYMOUTH. The Colours of the Expectation are abfolutely as The BRITISH CONSTITUTION in one entire BLAZE—of GLORY. The whole World cannot produce any thing finer than this, unless it should happen to be full of Flaws, which is fometimes the Cafe. The The British Parliament in all its Purity. The Colours are liable to Corruption, yet they are likely to be lafting. The Flexibility of the Figure is admirably expreffed. The Magic Lantern will fhew At the End of the Second Part, the Sublime Signior will entertain the Company with fome of his most capital Slight-of-hand Performances, which, from their unrivalled Clevernefs, may be deemed A National Honour. He will then Sing, with that enchanting Pathos fo peculiar to Himfelf, "War, alas! is toil and trouble, Fighting ftill, and still deftroying; If France there is no chance of winning, PART III. An animating View of MONSIEUR, REDÌ Marching to Paris with TWELVE HUNDRED Men. This may be deemed an almoft incredible optical Delufion. An interefting Representation of Or an amiable Princefs neglected and despised; MY GRANDMOTHER, And a Bird's-eye View of This beautiful fcenic Exhibition may be truly faid to call forth all the finer Feelings of the Heart. |