THE LIFE AND OPINIONS OF TRISTRAM SHANDY, GENT. СНАР. I. -B and under this genial fun, where at this UT foftly,-for in these sportive plains, inftant all flesh is running out piping, fiddling, and dancing to the vintage, and every step that's taken, the judgment is furprised by the imagination, I defy, notwithstanding all that has been faid upon ftraight lines*, in fundry pages of my book, I defy the beft cabbage-planter that ever exifted, whether he plants backwards or forwards, it makes little difference in the account (except that he will have more to anfwer for in the one cafe than in the other)-I defy him to go on coolly, critically, and canonically, planting his cabbages one by one, in ftraight lines, and ftoical distances, especially if flits in petticoats are unfew'd up,-without ever and anon ftraddling out, or fidling into fome bastardly di * Vide Vol. 11. towards the end. greffion greffion.-In Freeze-land, Fog-land, and fome other lands I wot of,-it may be done! per But in this clear climate of fantasy and fpiration, where every idea, fenfible and infenfible, gets vent, in this land, my dear Eugenius,—in this fertile land of chivalry and romance, where I now fit, unfkrewing my inkhorn to write my uncle Toby's amours, and with all the meanders of Julia's track in queft of her Diego, in full view of my ftudy-window,—if thou comeft not and takeft me by the hand,What a work it is likely to turn out ! Let us begin it. CHAP. II. -but IT is with Love as with Cuckoldom:now I am talking of beginning a book, and have long had a thing upon my mind to be imparted to the reader, which, if not imparted now, can never be imparted to him as long as I live (whereas the comparifon may be imparted to him any hour in the day)—I'll juft mention it, and begin in good earneft, The thing is this: That of all the feveral ways of beginning a book which are now in practice throughout the known world, I am confident my own way of doing it is the beft.- I'm fure it is the moft religious, for I begin with writing the first sentence, and trufting to Almighty God for the fecond. "Twould cure an author for ever of the fufs and |