Scorn'd by the Bafe, 'tis courted by the Brave, Reft, Health, and Eafe, for nothing but a Name. A very odd Fellow vifited me to Day at my Lodgings, and defired Encouragement and Recommendation from me for a new Invention of Knockers to Doors, which he told me he had made, and profeffed to teach Ruftick Servants the Use of them. I defired him to fhow me an Experiment of this Invention; upon which he fixed one of his Knockers to my Parlour Door. He then gave me a compleat Set of Knocks, from the Solitary Rap of the Dun and Beggar, to the Thunderings of the Sawcy Footman of Quality, with feveral Flourishes and Rattlings never yet performed. He likewife played over fome private Notes, diftinguishing the familiar Friend or Relation from the most modifh Vifitor; and directing when the Referve Candles are to be lighted. He has feveral other Curiofities in this Art. He waits only to receive my Approbation of the main Design. He is now ready to practise to fuch as fhall apply themselves to him; but I have put off his publick Licence till next Court-Day. N. B. He teaches under Ground, The 395 The TATLER. [N° 106. --Invenies diffecti Membra Poeta. Hor. From Saturday Dec. 10. to Tuesday Dec. 13.1709. I Will's Coffee-boufe, December 12. Was this Evening fitting at the Side-Table, and reading one of my own Papers with great Satisfaction, not knowing that I was obferved by any in the Room. I had not long enjoyed this fecret Pleasure of an Author, when a Gentleman, fome of whofe Works I have been highly entertained with, accofted me after the following Manner: Mr. Bickerstaff, you know I have for fome Years devoted my felf wholly to the Muses, and perhaps you will be furprised when I tell you I am refolved to take up and apply my felf to Business: I shall therefore beg you will stand my Friend, and recommend Customer to me for feveral Goods that I have now upon my Hands, I defir'd him to let me have a Particular, and I would do my utmost to ferve him. I have first of all (Says he) the Progress of an Amour digefted into Sonnets, beginning with a Poem to the unknown Fair, and ending with an Epithalamium. I have celebrated in it, her Cruelty, her Pity, her Face, her Shape, her Wit, her good Humour, her Dancing, her Singing I could not forbear interrupting him; This is a most accomplished Lady, faid I; but has he really, with all thefe Perfections, a fine Voice. Pugh, fays he, you do - not believe there is fuch a Perfon in Nature. This was only my Employment in Solitude laft Summer, when I had neither Friends or Books to divert me, I was going, fays I, to ask her Name, but I find it is only an imaginary Mistress. That's true, replied my Friend, but her Name is Flavia. I have, continued he, in the Second Place, a Collection of Lampoons, calculated either for the Bath, Tunbridge, or any Place where they drink Waters, with blank Spaces for the Names of fuch Perfon or Perfons as may be inferted in them on Occafion. Thus much I have told only of what I have by me proceeding from Love and Malice. I have also at this Time the Sketch of an Heroick Poem upon the next Peace: Several indeed of the Verses are either too long or too fhort, it being a rough Draught of my Thoughts upon that Subject. I thereupon told him, That as it was, it might probably pass for a very good Pindarick, and I believed I knew one who would be willing to deal with him for it upon that Foot. I must tell yon alfo, I have made a Dedication to it, which is about four Sides clofe written, that may serve any one that is tall, and understands Latin. I have further, about Fifty Similies, that were never yet applied, befides Three and twenty Defcriptions of the Sun-rifing, that might be of great Ufe to an Epick Poet. Thefe are my more bulky Commodities: Befides which, I have feveral fmall Wares that I would part with at eafy Rates; as, Obfervations upon Life, and Moral Sentences, reduced into feveral Couplets, very proper to close up Acts of Plays, and may be eafily introduced by two or three Lines of Profe, either in Tragedy or Comedy. If I could find a Purchafer curious in Latin Poetry, I could accommo date 397 date him with Two Dozen of Epigrams, which, by Reafon of a few falfe Quantities, fhould come for little or nothing. I heard the Gentleman with much Attention, and asked him, Whether he would Bread Bulk, and fell his Goods by Retail, or defigned they fhould all go in a Lump? He told me, That he fhould be very loth to part them, unless it was to oblige a Man of Quality, or any Perfon for whom I had a particular Friendship. My Reason for asking (faid I) is, only because I know a young Gentleman who intends to appear next Spring in a new jingling Chariot, with the Figures of the Nine Muses on each Side of it; and I believe, would be glad to come into the World in Verse. We could not go on in our Treaty, by Reason of Two or Three Criticks that joined us. They had been talking, it feems, of the Two Letters which were found in the Coffin, and mentioned in one of my late Lucubrations, and came with a Request to me, that I would communicate any others of them that were legible. One of the Gentlemen was pleafed to fay, That it was a very proper Inftance of a Widow's Conftancy; and faid, he wished I had fubjoined, as a Foil to it, the following Paffage in Hamlet. The young Prince was not yet acquainted with all the Guilt of his Mother, but turns his Thoughts on her fudden Forgetfulness of his Father, and the Indecency of her hafty Marriage. --That it should come to this! But Two Months dead! Nay, not fo much, not Two! So excellent a King! That was to this To vifit her Face too roughly! Heav'n and Earth! By what is fed on? And yet, within a Month! Let me not think on't- Frailty, thy Name is Wo (man! A little Month! Or e'er thofe Shoes were old, With which she followed my poor Father's Body, Like Niobe all Tears; Why she! even she ! Oh Heav'n! a Brute, that wants Difcourfe of Rea (Son, Would have mourn'd longer! Married with mine 1 (Uncle ! My Father's Brother! But no more like my Father, The several Emotions of Mind, and Breaks of Paffion, in this Speech, are admirable. He has touched every Circumftance that aggravated the Fact, and feemed capable of hurrying the Thoughts of a Son into Distraction. His Father's Tenderness for his Mother, expreffed in fo delicate a Particular; his Mother's Fondnefs for his Father no less exquifitely described; the great and amiable Figure of his dead Parent drawn |