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Eva. The tevil and his tam ? what phrase is Page. How now, Mistress Ford ? this, “ He hears with ears?” Why, it is affecta Fal. Mistress Ford, by my troth, you are very tions.
well met: by your leave, good mistress. Fal. Pistol, did you pick Master Slender's
[Kissing her. purse?
Page. Wife, bid these gentlemen welcome :Slen. Ay, by these gloves, did he (or I would come, we have a hot venison party to dinner; come, I might never come in mine own great chamber gentlemen, I hope we shall drink down all unkindagain else), of seven groats in mill-sixpences, and ness. two Edward shovel-boards, that cost me two shil
[Exeunt all but SHALLOW, SLENDER, ling and twopence a-piece, of Yead Miller, by these
and EVANS. gloves.
Slen. I had rather than forty shillings, I had Fal. Is this true, Pistol ?
my book of “Songs and Sonnets” here:Era. No; it is false, if it is a pick-purse. Pist. Ha, thou mountain-foreigner ! — Sir John
Enter SIMPLE. and master mine,
How now, Simple! Where have you been? I I combat challenge of this latten bilbo :
must wait on myself, must I? You have not the Word of denial in thy labras here;
“ Book of Riddles” about you, have you? Word of denial : froth and scum, thou liest. Sim. “Book of Riddles !” Why, did you not
Slen. By these gloves, then 't was he. lend it to Alice Shortcake upon Allhallowmas last,
Nym. Be advised, sir, and pass good humors; a fortnight afore Michaelmas ? I will say, “ Marry trap," with you, if you run the Shal. Come, coz; come, coz; we stay for you. nuthook's humor on me; that is the very note of A word with you, coz: marry, this, coz : There is
as 't were, a tender, a kind of tender, made afar off Slen. By this hat, then he in the red face had by Sir Hugh here:— Do you understand me? it: for though I cannot remember what I did when Slen. Ay, sir, you shall find me reasonable; if you made me drunk, yet I am not altogether an it be so, I shall do that that is reason. ass.
Shal. Nay, but understand me. Fal. What say you, Scarlet and John ?
Slen. So I do, sir. Bard. Why, sir, for my part, I say, the gentle- Eva. Give ear to his motions, Master Slender; man had drunk himself out of his five sentences. I will description the matter to you, if you be ca
Era. It is his five senses : fie, what the ignor-pacity of it. ance is!
Slen. Nay, I will do as my cousin Shallow says: Bard. And being fap, sir, was, as they say, I pray you, pardon me; he's a justice of peace in cashiered; and so conclusions passed the careires. his country, simple though I stand here.
Slen. Ay, you spake in Latin then too; but 't is Eva. But this is not the question ; the question no matter ; I'll ne'er be drunk whilst I live again, is concerning your marriage. but in honest, civil, godly company, for this trick : Shal. Ay, there 's the point, sir. if I be drunk, I'll be drunk with those that have Eva. Marry, is it; the very point of it ; to Misthe fear of God, and not with drunken knaves. tress Anne Page.
Eva. So God 'udge me, that is a virtuous mind. Slen. Why, if it be so, I will marry her, upon
Fal. You hear all these matters denied, gentle- any reasonable demands. men; you hear it.
Eva. But can you affection the 'oman? Let us
command to know that of your mouth, or of your Enter MISTRESS ANNE PAGE with wine; Mis- lips: for divers philosophers hold that the lips is TRESS FORD and MISTRESS PAGE following.
parcel of the mouth ; — Therefore, precisely, can Page. Nay, daughter, carry the wine in; we 'll you carry your good will to the maid ? drink within.
[Exit ANNE PAGE. Shal. Cousin Abraham Slender, can you love Slen. O heaven! this is Mistress Anne Page. Ther?
Slen. I hope, sir,— I will do, as it shall become Anne. I may not go in without your worship: one that would do reason.
they will not sit till you come. Eva. Nay, Got's lords and his ladies, you must | Slen. I' faith, I 'll eat nothing: I thank you as speak possitable, if you can carry her your desires much as though I did. towards her.
| Anne. I pray you, sir, walk in. Shal. That you must: Will you, upon good Slen. I had rather walk here, I thank you. I dowry, marry her?
bruised my shin the other day with playing at Slen. I will do a greater thing than that, upon sword and dagger with a master of fence, three your request, cousin, in any reason.
veneys for a dish of stewed prunes; and, by my Shal. Nay, conceive me, conceive me, sweet troth, I cannot abide the smell of hot meat since. coz; what I do is to pleasure you, coz: Can you Why do your dogs bark so ? be there bears i' the love the maid?
town? Slen. I will marry her, sir, at your request; Anne. I think there are, sir; I heard them but if there be no great love in the beginning, yet talked of. heaven may decrease it upon better acquaintance, Slen. I love the sport well; but I shall as soon when we are married, and have more occasion to quarrel at it as any man in England :— You are know one another : I hope, upon familiarity will afraid, if you see the bear loose, are you not? grow more contempt; but if you say, “marry her,” | Anne. Ay, indeed, sir. I will marry her, that I am freely dissolved, and Slen. That's meat and drink to me, now: I dissolutely.
have seen Sackerson loose twenty times; and have Eva. It is a fery discretion answer; save, the taken him by the chain; but, I warrant you, the faul' is in the 'ort dissolutely : the 'ort is, accord women have so cried and shrieked at it, that it ing to our meaning, resolutely; — his meaning is passed ; — but women, indeed, cannot abide 'ein; good.
they are very ill-favored rough things. Shal. Ay, I think my cousin meant well. Slen. Ay, or else I would I might be hanged, la.
Page. Come, gentle Master Slender, come; we Re-enter ANNE PAGE.
stay for you. Shal. Here comes fair Mistress Anne:—Would Slen. I'll eat nothing, I thank you, sir. I were young, for your sake, Mistress Anne. Page. By cock and pye, you shall not choose,
Anne. The dinner is on the table; my father sir : come, come. desires your worships' company.
Slen. Nay, pray you, lead the way. Shal. I will wait on him, fair Mistress Anne. Page. Come on, sir.
Eva. Od's plessed will ! I will not be absence Slen. Mistress Anne, yourself shall go first. at the grace.
Anne. Not I, sir; pray you, keep on. [Exeunt SHALLOW and SIR H. Evans. Slen. Truly, I will not go first; truly, la: I will Anne. Will 't please your worship to come in, not do you that wrong.
Anne. I pray you, sir. Slen. No, I thank you, forsooth, heartily! I am Slen. I'll rather be unmannerly than troublevery well.
some; you do yourself wrong, indeed, la. [Exeunt. Anne. The dinner attends you, sir.
Slen. I am not a-hungry, I thank you, forsooth. Go, sirrah, for all you are my man, go, wait upon
SCENE II. — The same. my cousin Shallow : [Exit SIMPLE.] A justice of the peace may sometimes be beholden to his friend
Enter Sir Hugh Evans and SIMPLE. for a man:- I keep but three men and a boy yet, Eva. Go your ways, and ask of Doctor Caius' till my mother be dead : But what though ? yet I house, which is the way: and there dwells one live like a poor gentleman born.
| Mistress Quickly, which is in the manner of his
purse, or his dry nurse, or his cook, or his laundry, Fal. Well, sirs, I am almost out at heels. his washer, and his wringer.
Pist. Why then, let kibes ensue.
Fal. There is no remedy; I must coney-catch; Eva. Nay, it is petter yet :- give her this let- I must shift. ter; for it is a 'oman that altogether's acquaintance Pist. Young ravens must have food. with Mistress Anne Page: and the letter is, to de Fal. Which of you know Ford of this town? sire and require her to solicit your master's desires Pist. I ken the wight; he is of substance good. to Mistress Ann Page : I pray you, begone : I will Fal. My honest lads, I will tell you what I am make an end of my dinner; there's pippins and about. cheese to come.
[Exit. Pist. Two yards and more.
Fal. No quips now, Pistol : Indeed I am in the
waist two yards about: but I am now about no SCENE III. – A Room in the Garter Inn. waste; I am about thrift. Briefly, I do mean to
make love to Ford's wife; I spy entertainment in Enter FALSTAFF, Host, BARDOLPH, NYM, PISTOL,
her; she discourses, she carves, she gives the leer and ROBIN.
of invitation; I can construe the action of her Fal. Mine Host of the Garter
familiar style; and the hardest voice of her behavHost. What says my bully-rook ? Speak schol- ior, to be Englished rightly, is, “I am Sir John arly and wisely.
Falstaff's.” Fal. Truly, mine host, I must turn away some Pist. He hath studied her well, and translated of my followers.
her well; out of honesty into English. Host. Discard, bully Hercules ; cashier : let them Nym. The anchor is deep: Will that humor wag; trot, trot.
pass ? Fal. I sit at ten pounds a-week.
Fal. Now, the report goes, she has all the rule Host. Thou 'rt an emperor, Cæsar, Keisar, and of her husband's purse; she hath legions of angels. Pheesar. I will entertain Bardolph; he shall Pist. As many devils entertain; and, “ To her, draw, he shall tap: said I well, bully Hector ? boy," say I. Fal. Do so, good mine host.
Nym. The humor rises: it is good : humor me Host. I have spoke; let him follow : Let me see the angels. thee froth and lime: I am at a word : follow. Fal. I have writ me here a letter to her; and
[Exit Host. here another to Page’s wife; who even now gave Fal. Bardolph, follow him; a tapster is a good me good eyes too, examined my parts with most trade: An old cloak makes a new jerkin; a with-judicious eyliads : sometimes the beam of her view ered serving-man, a fresh tapster: Go; adieu. gilded my foot, sometimes my portly belly.
Bard. It is a life that I have desired; I will Pist. Then did the sun on dunghill shine. thrive.
[Exit BARDOLPH. Nym. I thank thee for that humor. Pist. O base Gongarian wight! wilt thou the Fal. O, she did so course o'er my exteriors with spigot wield?
such a greedy intention, that the appetite of her Nym. He was gotten in drink: Is not the hu- eye did seem to scorch me up like a burning glass ! mor conceited ? His mind is not heroic, and Here's another letter to her: she bears the purse there's the humor of it.
too; she is a region in Guiana, all gold and bounty. Fal. I am glad I am so acquit of this tinder- I will be cheater to them both, and they shall be box; his thefts were too open; his filching was exchequers to me; they shall be my East and West like an unskilful singer; he kept not time. Indies, and I will trade to them both. Go, bear Nym. The good humor is to steal at a minute's thou this letter to Mistress Page; and thou this to
Mistress Ford : we will thrive, lads, we will thrive. Pist. Convey, the wise it call: Steal ! foh; a Pist. Shall I Sir Pandarus of Troy become, fico for the phrase.
| And by my side wear steel ? then, Lucifer take all !
Pist. Shall I Sir Pandarus of Troy become, at night, in faith, at the latter end of a seacoal fire. And by my side wear steel? then, Lucifer take all! An honest, willing, kind fellow, as ever servant
Nym. I will run no base humor : here, take the shall come in house withal; and, I warrant you, no humor letter; I will keep the havior of reputation. tell-tale, nor no breed-bate; his worst fault is, that Fal. Hold, sirrah, bear you these letters tightly; he is given to prayer; he is something peevish that
[To ROBIN. way; but nobody but has his fault; — but let that Sail like my pinnace to these golden shores. pass. Peter Simple, you say your name is ? Rogues, hence, avaunt! vanish like hailstones, Sim. Ay, for fault of a better.
Quick. And Master Slender 's your master? Trudge, plod, away, o'the hoof; seek shelter, Sim. Ay, forsooth. pack!
Quick. Does he not wear a great round beard, Falstaff will learn the humor of this age, like a glover's paring knife? French thrift, you rogues ; myself, and skirted Sim. No, forsooth: he hath but a little wee
page. [Exeunt FALSTAFF and Robin. face, with a little yellow beard; a Cain-colored Pist. Let vultures gripe thy guts ! for gourd and beard. fullam holds,
Quick. A softly-sprighted man, is he not ? And high and low beguile the rich and poor; Sim. Ay, forsooth: but he is as tall a man of Tester I'll have in pouch, when thou shalt lack, his hands, as any is between this and his head; he Base Phrygian Turk!
hath fought with a warrener. Nym. I have operations in my head, which be Quick. How say you ? -0, I should remember humors of revenge.
him. Does he not hold up his head, as it were ? Pist. Wilt thou revenge ?
and strut in his gait? Nym. By welkin and her star.
Sim. Yes, indeed, does he. Pist. With wit or steel?
Quick. Well, heaven send Anne Page no worse Nym. With both the humors I.
fortune! Tell master parson Evans, I will do I will discuss the humor of this love to Page. what I can for your master: Anne is a good girl, Pist. And I to Ford shall eke unfold,
and I wish
Rug. Out, alas ! here comes my master. Nym. My humor shall not cool : I will incense Quick. We shall all be shent: Run in here, Page to deal with poison; I will possess him with good young man; go into this closet. [Shuts yellowness, for the revolt of mien is dangerous : SIMPLE in the closet.] He will not stay long. that is my true humor.
What, John Rugby! John, what, John, I say ! Pist. Thou art the Mars of malcontents : I sec- - Go, John, go enquire for my master; I doubt ond thee; troop on.
[Exeunt. he be not well, that he comes not home:—and down, down, adown-a, &c.
[Sings. · SCENE IV. - A Room in DR. CAIUS' House.
Enter Dr. CAIUS.
Caius. Vat is you sing? I do not like dese Enter MISTRESS QUICKLY, SIMPLE, and RUGBY.
B7 toys. Pray you, go and vetch me in my closet un Quick. What, John Rugby! I pray thee, go to boitier verd; a box, a green-a box. Do intend the casement, and see if you can see my master, what I speak ? a green-a box. Master Doctor Caius, coming: if he do i' faith, Quick. Ay, forsooth, I'll fetch it you. I am and find anybody in the house, here will be an old glad he went not in himself: if he had found the abusing of God's patience, and the king's English. young man he would have been horn-mad. [Aside. Rug. I'll go watch.
[Exit Rugby. Caius. Fe, fe, fe fe! ma foi, il fait fort chaud. Quick. Go; and we 'll have a posset for 't soon Je m'en vais à la cour -— la grande affaire.
Quick. Is it this, sir ?
Sim. 'T is a great charge to come under one Caius. Ouy: mette le au mon pocket. De body's hand. pechez, quickly: — Vere is dat knave Rugby? | Quick. Are you advised o' that? you shall find
Quick. What, John Rugby! John ! | it a great charge: and to be up early and down Rug. Here, sir.
late; — but notwithstanding (to tell you in your Caius. You are John Rugby, and you are Jack ear; I would have no words of it), my master Rugby: Come, take-a your rapier, and come after himself is in love with Mistress Anne Page: but my heel to de court.
notwithstanding that, — I know Anne's mind, Rug. 'T is ready, sir, here in the porch. that 's neither here nor there.
Caius. By my trot, I tarry too long :- Od's Caius. You jack’nape; give-a dis letter to Sir me! Quiay j'oublie? dere is some simples in my Hugh; by gar, it is a shallenge: I vill cut his closet, dat I vill not for the varld I shall leave be-troat in de park; and I vill teach a scurvy jack-ahind.
nape priest to meddle or make :- you may be Quick. Ah me! he 'll find the young man there, gone; it is not good you tarry here :—by gar I and be mad!
vill cut all his two stones; by gar, he shall not Caius. O diable, diable! vat is in my closet ? have a stone to trow at his dog. [Exit SIMPLE. – Villany! larron! [Pulling SIMPLE out.] Rug- Quick. Alas ! he speaks but for his friend. by, my rapier.
Caius. It is no matter-a for dat:- do not you Quick. Good master, be content.
tell-a me dat I shall have Anne Page for myself ? Caius. Verefore shall I be content-a?
— By gar, I will kill de jack priest; and I have Quick. The young man is an honest man. appointed mine Host of de Jarterre to measure
Caius. Vat shall de honest man do in my clos- our weapon :- by gar, I vill myself have Anne et? dere is no honest man dat shall come in my Page. closet.
Quick. Sir, the maid love you, and all shall be Quick. I beseech you be not so phlegmatic; well: we must give folks leave to prate: What, hear the truth of it: He came of an errand to me the good-jer! from Parson Hugh.
Caius. Rugby, come to the court vit me. — By Caius. Vell.
gar, if I have not Anne Page, I shall turn your Sim. Ay, forsooth, to desire her to —
head out of my door :— Follow my heels, Rugby. Quick. Peace, I pray you.
[Exeunt Caius and Rugby. Caius. Peace-a your tongue :— Speak-a your Quick. You shall have An fool's-head of your tale.
own. No, I know Anne's mind for that: never a Sim. To desire this honest gentlewoman, your woman in Windsor knows more of Anne's mind maid, to speak a good word to Mrs. Anne Page for than I do; nor can do more than I do with her, I my master, in the way of marriage.
thank heaven. Quick. This is all, indeed, la; but I'll ne'er put Fent. [within.] Who's within there ! ho ! my finger in the fire, and need not.
| Quick. Who's there, I trow? Come near the Caius. Sir Hugh send-a you? — Rugby, baillez house, I pray you. me some paper: Tarry you a little-a while. [Writes. Quick. I am glad he is so quiet : if he had been
Enter FENTON. thoroughly moved, you should have heard him so Fent. How now, good woman; how dost thou ? loud and so melancholy; - But, notwithstanding, Quick. The better that it pleases your good worman, I'll do your master what good I can: and the ship to ask. very yea and the no is, the French doctor, my mas- Fent. What news ? how does pretty mistress ter,— I may call him my master, look you, for I keep Anne ? his house; and I wash, wring, brew, bake, scour, Quick. In truth, sir, and she is pretty, and hondress meat and drink, make the beds, and do all est, and gentle; and one that is your friend, I can myself:
| tell you that by the way; I praise heaven for it.