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Fent. Shall I do any good, thinkest thou ? Shall Fent. Well, I shall see her to-day. Hold, I not lose my suit ?
there's money for thee; let me have thy voice in Quick. Troth, sir, all is in His hands above : my behalf: if thou seest her before me, commend but notwithstanding, Master Fenton, I'll be sworn me — on a book, she loves you :- Have not your wor- Quick. Will I? I' faith, that we will; and I will ship a wart above your eye?
tell your worship more of the wart, the next time Fent. Yes, marry, have I; what of that? we have confidence; and of other wooers.
Quick. Well, thereby hangs a tale ; - good Fent. Well, farewell; I am in great haste now. faith, it is such another Nan;- but, I detest, an
[Exit. honest maid as ever broke bread :- We had an Quick. Farewell to your worship — Truly, an honest talk of the wart:- I shall never laugh but honest gentleman; but Anne loves him not; for I in that maid's company! But indeed she is given know Anne's mind as well as another does :too much to allicholly and musing : But for you — Out upon't! what have I forgot ? [Exit. Well, go to.
SCENE I. — Before Page's House. | pany!- What should I say to him? — I was then
frugal of my mirth :- heaven forgive me !-Why, Enter MISTRESS PAGE, with a letter.
I'll exhibit a bill in the parliament for the putting Mrs. Page. What! have I ’scaped love-letters down of fat men. How shall I be revenged on him ? in the holiday time of my beauty, and am I now for revenged I will be, as sure as his guts are made a subject for them ! Let me see: [Reads. of puddings.
“Ask me no reason why I love you; for though love use reason for his precision, he admits him not for his
Enter MISTRESS FORD. counselor: You are not young, no more am I; go to then, there's sympathy: you are merry, so am I; ha, Mrs. Ford. Mistress Page ! trust me, I was goha! then there's more sympathy; you love sack, and so ing to your house. do I; would you desire better sympathy? Let it suffice Mrs. Page. And, trust me, I was coming to you, thee, Mistress Page (at the least, if the love of a soldier you look very ul. can suffice), that I love thee. I will not say, “Pity
Mrs. Ford. Nay, I'll ne'er believe that; I have me;" 't is not a soldier-like phrase; but I say, “Love me." By me,
to shew to the contrary. " Thine own true knight,
Mrs. Page. 'Faith, but you do, in my mind. By day or night,
Mrs. Ford. Well, I do, then ; yet I say, I could Or any kind of light,
shew you to the contrary: 0, Mistress Page, give With all his might,
me some counsel ! For thee to fight,
Mrs. Page. What's the matter, woman? “John FALSTAFF."
Mrs. Ford. O woman, if it were not for one triWhat a Herod of Jewry is this? -0 wicked, fling respect, I could come to such honor ! wicked world !-- one that is well nigh worn to Mrs. Page. Hang the trifle, woman; take the pieces with age, to shew himself a young gallant! honor: What is it?— dispense with trifles; — What an unweighed behavior hath this Flemish what is it? drunkard picked (with the devil's name) out of my Mrs. Ford. If I would but go to hell for an conversation, that he dares in this manner assay eternal moment or so, I could be knighted. me? Why, he hath not been thrice in my com- Mrs. Page. What? thou liest ! — Sir Alice
Ford ! — These knights will hack; and so thou lang against him, that may not sully the chariness shouldst not alter the article of thy gentry of our honesty. O, that my husband saw this let
Mrs. Ford. We burn daylight:- here, read, ter! it would give eternal food to his jealousy. read; — perceive how I might be knighted. —I Mrs. Page. Why, look where he comes; and my shall think the worse of fat men, as long as I have good man too: he's as far from jealousy, as I am an eye to make difference of men's liking : And from giving him cause; and that, I hope, is an yet he would not swear; praised women's modesty : unmeasurable distance. and gave such orderly and well-behaved reproof to Mrs. Ford. You are the happier woman. all uncomeliness, that I would have sworn his dis- Mrs. Page. Let's consult together against this position would have gone to the truth of his words: greasy knight: Come hither. [They retire. but they do no more adhere and keep place together than the hundreth Psalm to the tune of
Enter FORD, PISTOL, Page, and NYM. “Green Sleeves.” What tempest, I trow, threw this whale, with so many tons of oil in his belly, Ford. Well, I hope it be not so. ashore at Windsor ? How shall I be revenged on Pist. Hope is a curtail dog in some affairs : him? I think the best way were to entertain him Sir John affects thy wife. with hope, till the wicked fire of lust have melted him Ford. Why, sir, my wife is not young. in his own grease. — Did you ever hear the like? Pist. He wooes both high and low, both rich and Mrs. Page. Letter for letter; but that the name
poor, of Page and Ford differs ! - To thy great comfort Both young and old, one with another, Ford; in this mystery of ill opinions, here's the twin-bro- He loves thy gully-maufry; Ford, perpend. ther of thy letter: but let thine inherit first ; for Ford. Love my wife? I protest mine never shall. I warrant he hath a Pist. With liver-burning hot: Prevent, or go thousand of these letters, writ with blank space for
thou, different names (sure more), and these are of the Like Sir Actæon he, with Ringwood at thy heels : second edition : He will print them out of doubt; O, odious is the name ! for he cares not what he puts into the press, when Ford. What name, sir ? he would put us two. I had rather be a giantess, Pist. The horn, I say: Farewell. and lie under mount Pelion. Well, I will find you Take heed; have open eye; for thieves do foot by twenty lascivious turtles, ere one chaste man.
night: Mrs. Ford. Why, this is the very same; the Take heed, ere summer comes, or cuckoo birds do very hand, the very words : What doth he think
| Away, Sir Corporal Nym. — Mrs. Page. Nay, I know not : It makes me al- Believe it, Page; he speaks sense. [Exit PISTOL. most ready to wrangle with mine own honesty. Ford. I will be patient; I will find out this. I'll entertain myself like one that I am not ac- Nym. And this is true ; [TO PAGE.] I like not quainted withal; for, sure, unless he know some the humor of lying. He hath wronged me in some strain in me, that I know not myself, he would humors; I should have borne the humored letter to never have boarded me in this fury.
her; but I have a sword, and it shall bite upon my Mrs. Ford. Boarding, call you it? I'll be sure necessity. He loves your wife; there's the short and to keep him above deck.
the long. My name is Corporal Nym; I speak, and I Mrs. Page. So will I; if he come under my avouch. 'Tis true :- my name is Nym, and Falhatches, I'll never to sea again. Let's be revenged staff loves your wife. — Adieu ! I love not the huon him : let's appoint him a meeting; give him a mor of bread and cheese ; and there's the humor shew of comfort in his suit; and lead him on with of it. Adieu.
[Exit Nym. a fine baited delay, till he hath pawned his horses Page. “ The humor of it," quoth a'! here's a to mine Host of the Garter.
fellow frights humor out of his wits. Mrs. Ford. Nay, I will consent to act any vil- Ford. I will seek out Falstaff.
Page. I never heard such a drawling, affecting his voyage towards my wife, I would turn her rogue.
loose to him; and what he gets more of her than Ford. If I do find it, well.
sharp words, let it lie on my head. Page. I will not believe such a Cataian, though Ford. I do not misdoubt my wife; but I would the priest o'the town commended him for a true be loath to turn them together: A man may be man.
too confident: I would have nothing lie on my Ford. ’T was a good sensible fellow : Well. head: I cannot be thus satisfied. Page. How now, Meg?
Page. Look, where my ranting host of the GarMrs. Page. Whither go you, George ? — Hark ter comes : their is either liquor in his pate, or moyou.
ney in his purse, when he looks so merrily. — How Mrs. Ford. How now, sweet Frank ? why art now, mine host ? thou melancholy ? Ford. I melancholy! I am not melancholy. —
Enter Host and SHALLOW. Get you home, go.
Host. How now, bully-rook ? thou’rt a gentleMrs. Ford. 'Faith, thou hast some crotchets in man: cavalero-justice, I say. thy head now. — Will you go, Mistress Page? Shal. I follow, mine host, I follow.—Good even,
Mrs. Page. Have with you. — You'll come to and twenty, good Master Page! Master Page, will dinner, George? Look, who comes yonder : she you go with us? we have sport in hand. shall be our messenger to this paltry knight. Host. Tell him, cavalero-justice ; tell him bully[Aside to MRS. FORD. rook.
Shal. Sir, there is a fray to be fought, between Enter MISTRESS QUICKLY.
Sir Hugh the Welch priest, and Caius the French Mrs. Ford. Trust me, I thought on her: she 'll doctor. fit it.
Ford. Good mine Host o’the Garter, a word Mrs. Page. You are come to see my daughter with you. Anne?
Host. What say'st thou, bully-rook ? Quick. Ay, forsooth; And I pray, how does
[They go aside. good Mistress Anne?
Shal. Will you [To Page] go with us to beMrs. Page. Go in with us, and see; we have an hold it? My merry host hath had the measuring hour's talk with you.
of their weapons; and I think he hath appointed [Exeunt Mrs. PAGE, MRS. FORD, and Mrs. them contrary places : for, believe me, I hear the QUICKLY.
parson is no jester. Hark, I will tell you what our Page. How now, Master Ford ?
sport shall be. Ford. You have heard what this knave told me; Host. Hast thou no suit against my knight, my did you not ?
guest-cavalier ? Page. Yes; and you heard what the other told Ford. None, I protest: but I'll give you a pot
tle of burnt sack to give me recourse to him, and Ford. Do you think there is truth in them? tell him my name is Brook; only for a jest.
Page. Hang 'em, slaves; I do not think the Host. My hand, bully: thou shalt have egress knight would offer it: but these that accuse him and regress; said I well ? and thy name shall be i in his intent towards our wives, are a yoke of his Brook: It is a merry knight. — Will you go, cavdiscarded men: very rogues, now they be out of aliers. service.
Shal. Have with you, mine host. Ford. Were they his men ?
Page. I have heard the Frenchman hath good Page. Marry, were they.
skill in his rapier. Ford. I like it never the better for that. — Does Shal. Tut, sir, I could have told you more : In he lie at the Garter ?
these times you stand on distance, your passes, Page. Ay, marry, does he. If he should intend stoccadoes, and I know not what : 't is the heart,
Master Page; 't is here, 't is here. I have seen your cat-a-mountain looks, your red-lattice phrases, the time, with my long sword, I would have made and your bold-beating oaths, under the shelter of you four tall fellows skip like rats.
your honor! you will not do it, you ! Host. Here, boys, here, here! shall we wag? Pist. I do relent; What would'st thou more of
Page. Have with you :-I had rather hear man? them scold than fight. [Exeunt Host, SHALLOW, and PAGE.
Enter ROBIN. Ford. Though Page be a secure fool, and stands Rob. Sir, here's a woman would speak with you. so firmly on his wife's frailty, yet I cannot put off Fal. Let her approach. my opinion so easily: She was in his company at Page's house; and what they made there, I know
Enter MISTRESS QUICKLY. not. Well, I will look further into 't: and I have Quick. Give your worship good-morrow. a disguise to sound Falstaff : If I find her honest, Fal. Good-morrow, good wife. I lose not my labor; if she be otherwise, 't is la Quick. Not so, an 't please your worship. bor well bestowed.
[Exit. Fal. Good maid, then.
Quick. I'll be sworn; as my mother was, the
first hour I was born. SCENE II. — A Room in the Garter Inn. Fal. I do believe the swearer: What with me?
Quick. Shall I vouchsafe your worship a word Enter FALSTAFF and PISTOL.
or two? Fal. I will not lend thee a penny.
Fal. Two thousand, fair woman; and I'll vouchPist. Why, then the world's mine oyster, safe thee the hearing. Which I with sword will open. —
Quick. There is one Mistress Ford, sir; -I I will retort the sum in equipage.
pray, come a little nearer this ways:-I myself Ful. Not a penny. I have been content, sir, dwell with Master Doctor Caius. you should lay my countenance to pawn: I have Fal. Well, on : Mistress Ford, you say, — grated upon my good friends for three reprieves Quick. Your worship says very true: I pray for you and your coach-fellow, Nym; or else you your worship, come a little nearer this ways. had looked through the grate, like a gemini of Fal. I warrant thee, nobody hears; — mine own baboons. I am damned in hell, for swearing to people, mine own people. gentlemen my friends, you were good soldiers and Quick. Are they so ? Heaven bless them, and tall fellows: and when Mistress Bridget lost the make them his servants ! handle of her fan, I took 't upon mine honor thou Fal. Well : Mistress Ford; what of her ? hadst it not.
Quick. Why, sir, she's a good creature. Lord, Pist. Didst thou not share ? hadst thou not fif- lord ! your worship’s a wanton: Well, heaven forteen pence.
give you, and all of us, I pray! Fal. Reason, you rogue, reason : Think'st thou Ful. Mistress Ford ; — come, Mistress Ford, I'll endanger my soul gratis ? At a word, hang Quick. Marry, this is the short and the long of no more about me, I am no gibbet for you :-go. it; you have brought her into such a canaries, as – A short knife and a throng; — to your manor 't is wonderful. The best courtier of them all, of Pickt-hatch, go. — You'll not bear a letter for when the court lay at Windsor, could never have me, you rogue ! - You stand upon your honor ! — brought her to such a canary. Yet there has been Why, thou unconfinable baseness, it is as much as knights, and lords, and gentlemen, with their I can do to keep the terms of my honor precise. coaches; I warrant you, coach after coach, letter I, I, I myself sometimes, leaving the fear of heav- after letter, gift after gift; smelling so sweetly en on the left hand, and hiding mine honor in my (all musk), and so rushling, I warrant you, in silk necessity, am fain to shuffle, to hedge, and to and gold; and in such alligant terms; and in such lurch ; and yet you, rogue, will ensconce your rags, wine and sugar of the best, and the fairest that
would have won any woman's heart; and, I war- she will, say what she will, take all, pay all, go to rant you, they could never get an eye-wink of her. bed when she list, rise when she list, all is as she
– I had myself twenty angels given me this morn- will; and truly, she deserves it: for if there be a ing: but I defy all angels (in any sort, as they kind woman in Windsor, she is one. You must say), but in the way of honesty:—and, I warrant send her your page; no remedy. you, they could never get her so much as sip on a Fal. Why, I will. cup with the proudest of them all: and yet there Quick. Nay, but do so then : and look you, he has been earls, nay, which is more, pensioners; may come and go between you both; and, in any but, I warrant you, all is one with her.
case, have a nay-word, that you may know one anFal. But what says she to me? be brief, my other's mind, and the boy never need to undergood she Mercury.
stand anything; for 't is not good that children Quick. Marry, she hath received your letter; should know any wickedness : old folks, you know, for the which she thanks you a thousand times : have discretion, as they say, and know the world. and she gives you to notify, that her husband will Fal. Fare thee well : commend me to them be absence from his house between ten and eleven. both : there's my purse; I am yet thy debtor. — Fal. Ten and eleven?
Boy, go along with this woman. — This news disQuick. Ay, forsooth; and then you may come tracts me! [E.ceunt QUICKLY and ROBIN. and sec the picture, she says, that you wot of;— Pist. This punk is one of Cupid's carriers :Master Ford, her husband will be from home. Clap on more sails : pursue, up with your fights; Alas! the sweet woman leads an ill life with him; Give fire; she is my prize, or ocean whelm them he's a very jealousy man: she leads a very fram
[Exit Pistol. pold life with him, good heart.
Fal. Say’st thou so, old Jack ? go thy ways; Fal. Ten and eleven : Woman, commend me to I'll make more of thy old body than I have done. her; I will not fail her.
Will they yet look after thee? Wilt thou, after the Quick. Why, you say well : But I have another expense of so much money, be now a gainer? messenger to your worship: Mistress Page hath Good body, I thank thee: Let them say, 't is grossher hearty commendations to you too; - and let ly done; so it be fairly done, no matter. me tell you in your ear, she's as fartuous a civil modest wife, and one (I tell you) that will not miss
Enter BARDOLPH. you morning nor evening prayer, as any is in Bard. Sir John, there's one Master Brook beWindsor, whoe'er be the other : and she bade me low would fain speak with you, and be acquainted tell your worship, that her husband is seldom from with you; and hath sent your worship a morning's home; but she hopes there will come a time. I draught of sack. never knew a woman so dote upon a man; surely, Fal. Brook is his name? I think you have charms, la; yes, in truth. Bard. Ay, sir.
Fal. Not I, I assure thee; setting the attraction Fal. Call him in. [Exit BARDOLPH.] Such of my good parts aside, I have no other charms. Brooks are welcome to me, that o'erflow such liQuick. Blessing on your heart for 't !
quor. Ah! ha! Mistress Ford and Mistress Page, Fal. But I pray thee, tell me this : has Ford's have I encompassed you? go to; via! wife, and Page's wife, acquainted each other how they love me?
Re-enter BARDOLPH, with FORD disguised. Quick. That were a jest, indeed ! — they have not so little grace, I hope :— that were a trick, in- Ford. Bless you, sir. deed ! But Mistress Page would desire you to send Fal. And you, sir : Would you speak with me? her your little page, of all loves; her husband has Ford. I make bold to press with so little prepaa marvelous infection to the little page; and truly, ration upon you. Master Page is an honest man. Never a wife in Fal. You're welcome :- What's your will ? — Windsor, leads a better life than she does : do what | Give us leave, drawer. [Exit BARDOLPH.