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lurch; and yet you, you rogue, will ensconce your rags, Quick. Why, you say well. But I have another your cat-a-mountain looks, your red-lattice phrases, messenger to your worship: mistress Page hath her and your bold-beatinga oaths, under the shelter of your hearty commendations to you too ; and let me tell honour! You will not do it, you?
you in your ear, she's as fartuous a civil modest wife, Pist. I do relent: what wouldst thou more of man? and one (I tell you) that will not miss you morning nor Enter ROBIN,
evening prayer, as any is in Windsor, whoe'er be the Rob. Sir, here's a woman would speak with you. other: and she bade me tell your worship, that her Fal. Let her approach.
husband is seldom from home, but she hopes there Enter Mistress QUICKLY.
will come a time. I never knew a woman so dote Quick. Give your worship good-morrow.
upon a man: surely, I think you have charms, la; yes, Fal. Good-morrow, good wife.
in truth. Quick. Not so, an't please your worship.
Fal. Not I, I assure thee: setting the attraction of Fal. Good maid, then.
my good parts aside, I have no other charms. Quick. I'll be sworn; as my mother was, the first Quick. Blessing on your heart for 't! hour I was born.
Fal. But I pray thee, tell me this: has Ford's wife, Fal. I do believe the swearer.
What with me? and Page's wife, acquainted each other how they love me? Quick. Shall I vouchsafe your worship a word or two? Quick. That were a jest, indeed they have not so
Fal. Two thousand, fair woman; and I'll vouchsafe little grace, I hope :—that were a trick, indeed! But thee the hearing
mistress Page would desire you to send her your little Quick. There is one mistress Ford, sir :-I pray, page, of all loves : her husband has a marvellous income a little nearer this ways. I myself dwell with fection to the little page; and, truly, master Page is an master doctor Caius.
Never a wife in Windsor leads a better Fal. Well, on: Mistress Ford, you say,
life than she does : do what she will, say what she will, Quick. Your worship says very true ; – I pray your take all, pay all, go to bed when she list, rise when worship, come a little nearer this ways.
she list, all is as she will; and truly, she deserves it, Fal. I warrant thee, nobody hears : --- mine own for if there be a kind woman in Windsor, she is one. people, mine own people.
You must send her your page; no remedy. Quick. Are they so ? Heaven bless them, and make Fal. Why, I will. them his servants!
Quick. Nay, but do so, then : and, look you, he may Fal. Well: Mistress Ford ;-what of her?
come and go between you both; and, in any case, have Quick. Why sir, she's a good creature. Lord, lord ! a nayword, that you may know one another's mind, your worship's a wanton: well, heaven forgive you, and the boy never need to understand any thing: for and all of us, I pray!
it is not good that children should know any wickedFal. Mistress Ford ;-come, mistress Ford,
ness; old folks, you know, have discretion, as they say, Quick. Marry, this is the short and the song of it. and know the world. You have brought her into such a canaries, as 't is won- Fal. Fare thee well: commend me to them both. derful: the best courtier of them all, when the court There's my purse: I am yet thy debtor.-Boy, go lay at Windsor, could never have brought her to such along with this woman.—This news distracts me. a canary; yet there has been knights, and lords, and
[Exeunt Mrs. QUICKLY and ROBIN. gentlemen, with their coaches; I warrant you, coach Pist. This punk is one of Cupid's carriers.after coach,. letter after letter, gift after gift; smelling Clap on more sails; pursue, up with your fights. so sweetly, all musk, and so rushling, I warrant you, Give fire! She is my prize, or ocean whelm them all! in silk and gold; and in such alligant terms; and in
[Exit Pistol. such wine and sugar of the best, and the fairest, that Fal. Say'st thou so, old Jack? go thy ways; I'll would have won any woman's heart, and, I warrant you, make more of thy old body than I have done. Will they could never get an eye-wink of her-I had myself they yet look after thee? Wilt thou, after the expense twenty angels given me of a morning' ; but I defy all of so much money, be now a gainer? Good body, I angels, (in any such sort, as they say,) but in the way thank thee : let them say, 't is grossly done; so it be of honesty :-and, I warrant you, they could never get fairly done, no matter. her so much as sip on a cup with the proudest of them
Enter BARDOLPH. all; and yet there has been earls, nay, which is more, Bard. Sir John, there's one master Brook below pensioners*; but, I warrant you, all is one with her. would fain speak with you, and be acquainted with
Fal. But what says she to me? be brief, my good you; and hath sent your worship a morning's draught she Mercury.
of sack. Quick. Marry, she hath received your letter, for the Fal. Brook, is his name? which she thanks you a thousand times; and she gives Bard. Ay, sir. you to notify, that her husband will be absence from Fal. Call him in; [Exit BARDOLPH.] Such Brooks his house between ten and eleven.
are welcome to me, that o'erflow such liquor. Ah! Fal. Ten and eleven?
ha! mistress Ford and mistress Page, have I encomQuick. Ay, forsooth; and then you may come and passed you ? go to; via ! see the picture, she says, what you wot of: master Re-enter BARDOLPH, with Ford disguised. Ford, her husband, will be from home. Alas! the Ford. Bless you, sir. sweet woman leads an ill life with him ; he's a very Fal. And you, sir : would you speak with me? jealousy man; she leads a very frampolds life with Ford. I make bold, to press with so little preparation him, good heart.
upon you. Fal. Ten and eleven.--Woman, commend me to her; Fal. You ’re welcome. What's your will ?-Give I will not fail her.
us leave, drawer.
[Exit BARDOLPH. 2 Mr. Dyce suggests bear-baiting: 3 given me this morning: in f. e. 4 Elizabeth's band of pensioners wore a splendid uniform, and so perhaps excited Dame Quickly's admiration. They were also men of fortune.
6 By all means. 8 Coverts of some kind put up to protect the men in an engagement. 9 It was a common custom to bestow presents of wine in Shakespeare's day.
do lie open.
Ford. Sir, I am a gentleman that have spent much: Ford. Believe it, for you know it. There is money; my name is Brook.
spend it, spend it: spend more; spend all I have, only Fal. Good master Brook, I desire more acquaintance give me so much of your time in exchange of it, as to
lay an amiable siege to the honesty of this Ford's wife: Ford. Good sir John, I sue for yours: not to charge use your art of wooing, win her to consent to you; if you, for I must let you understand, I think myself in any man may, you may as soon as any. better plight for a lender than you are; the which Fal. Would it apply well to the vehemency of your hath something embolden'd me to this unseasoned affection, that I should win what you would enjoy ? intrusion, for, they say, if money go before, all ways Methinks, you prescribe to yourself very preposterously.
Ford. O! understand my drift. She dwells so seFal. Money is a good soldier, sir, and will on. curely on the excellency of her honour, that the folly
Ford. Troth, and I have a bag of money here trou- of my suita dares not present itself: she is too bright bles me: if you will help to bear it --sir John, take to be looked against. Now, could I come to her with half, or all, for easing me of the carriage.
any detection in my hand, my desires had instance and Fal. Sir, I know not how I may deserve to be your argument to commend themselves; I could drive her, porter.
then, from the ward of her purity, her reputation, her Ford. I will tell you, sir, if you will give me the marriage vow, and a thousand other her defences, which hearing.
now are too too strongly embattled against me. What Fal. Speak, good master Brook : I shall be glad to say you to’t, sir John ? be your servant.
Fal. Master Brook, I will first make bold with your Ford. Sir, I hear you are a scholar, “I will be brief money; next, give me your hand; and last, as I am a with you,--and you have been a man long known to gentleman, you shall, if you will, enjoy Ford's wife. me, though I had never so good means, as desire, to Ford. O good sir ! make myself acquainted with you.
I shall discover a Fal. I say you shall. thing to you, wherein I must very much lay open mine Ford. Want no money, sir John; you shall want own imperfection; but, good sir John, as you have one none. eye upon my follies, as you hear them unfolded, turn Fal. Want no mistress Ford, master Brook; you shall another into the register of your own, that I may pass want none. I shall be with her (I may tell you) by her with a reproof the easier, sith you yourself know, how own appointment; even as you came in to me, her easy it is to be such an offender.
assistant, or go-between, parted from me: I say, I shall Fal. Very well, sir; proceed.
be with her between ten and eleven; for at that time Ford. There is a gentlewoman in this town, her the jealous rascally knave, her husband, will be forth. husband's name is Ford.
Come you to me at night; you shall know how I speed. Fal. Well, sir.
Ford. I am blest in your acquaintance. Ford. I have long loved her, and, I protest to you, know Ford, sir ? bestowed much on her; followed her with a doting Fal. Hang him, poor cuckoldly knave! I know him observance; engrossed opportunities to meet her; fee'd not.--Yet I wrong him to call him poor : they say, every slight occasion, that could but niggardly give me the jealous wittolly knave hath masses of money, for sight of her: not only bought many presents to give the which his wife seems to me well-favoured. I will her, but have given largely to many, to know what she use her as the key of the cuckoldly rogue's coffer, and would have given. Briefly, I have pursued her, as there's my harvest-home. love hath pursued me, which hath been on the wing Ford. I would you knew Ford, sir, that you might of all occasions : but whatsoever I have merited, either avoid him, if you saw him. in my mind, or in my means, meed, I am sure, I have Fal. Hang him, mechanical salt-butter rogue! I will received none, unless experience be a jewel; that I stare him out of his wits; I will awe him with my have purchased at an infinite rate, and that hath cudgel : it shall hang like a meteor o'er the cuckold's tiught me to say this:
horns : master Brook, thou shalt know I will predomiLove like a shadow flies, when substance love pursues ; nate over the peasant, and thou shalt lie with his wife. Pursuing that that flies, and flying what pursues. -Come to me soon at night.- Ford 's a knave, and I
Fal. Have you received no promise of satisfaction at will aggravate his style; thou, master Brook, shalt know her hands ?
him for a knave and cuckold. Come to me soon at Ford. Never.
[Excit. Fal. Have you importuned her to such a purpose ? Ford. What a damned Epicurean rascal is this ! Ford. Never.
My heart is ready to crack with impatience.—Who Fal. Of what quality was your love then ?
says, this is improvident jealousy? my wife hath sent Ford. Like a fair house, built upon another man's to him, the hour is fixed, the match is made. Would ground; so that I have lost my edifice, by mistaking any man have thought this ?-See the hell of having a the place where I erected it.
false woman! my bed shall be abused, my coffers ranFal. To what purpose have you unfolded this to me? sacked, my reputation gnawn at; and I shall not only
Ford. When I have told you that, I have told you receive this villainous wrong, but stand under the adopall. Some say, that though she appear honest to me, tion of abominable terms, and by him that does me this yet in other places she enlargeth her mirth so far, that wrong. Terms ! names !--Amaimon sounds well; there is shrewd construction made of her. Now, sir Lucifer, well; Barbason, well; yet they are devils? John, here is the heart of my purpose : you are a gen- additions, the names of fiends: but cuckold! wittel tleman of excellent breeding, admirable discourse, of cuckold !3 the devil himself hath not such a name. great admittance, authentic in your place and person, Page is an ass, a secure ass; he will trust his wife, he generally allowed for your many war-like, court-like, will not be jealous : I will rather trust a Fleming with and learned preparations.
my butter, parson Hugh the Welshman with my cheese, Fal. 0, sir !
an Irishman with my aqua vitæ bottle, or a thief to walk 1 take all, or half: in f. e.
3 Knowing himself one.
2 soul : in f. e.
my ambling gelding, than my wife with herself: then Shal. Bodykins, master Page, though I now be old, she plots, then she ruminates, then she devises ; and and of the peace, if I see a sword out, my finger itches what they think in their hearts they may effect, they to make one. Though we are justices, and doctors, will break their hearts but they will effect. Heaven and churchmen, master Page, we have some salt of our be praised for my jealousy !-Eleven o'clock the hour: youth in us: we are the sons of women, master Page. I will prevent this, detect my wife, be revenged on Page. 'Tis true, master Shallow. Falstaff
, and laugh at Page. I will about it: better Shal. It will be found so, master Page.-Master three hours too soon, than a minute too late. Fie, fie, doctor Caius, I am come to fetch you home. I am fie! cuckold ! cuckold ! cuckold !
[Exit. sworn of the peace: you have showed yourself a wise
physician, and sir Hugh hath shown himself a wise SCENE III.-Windsor Park.
and patient churchman. You must go with me, masEnter CAIUS and RUGBY.
ter doctor. Caius. Jack Rugby!
Host. Pardon, guest-justice.-A word, Monsieur Rug. Sir.
Mock-water. Caius. Vat is de clock, Jack ?
Caius. Mock-vater! vat is dat? Rug. 'Tis past the hour, sir, that sir Hugh promised Host. Mock-water, in our English tongue, is valour, to meet.
bully. Caius. By gar, he has save his soul, dat he is no come: Caius. By gar, then, I have as much mock-vater as he has pray his Pible vell, dat he is no come. By gar, de Englishman.--Scurvy jack-dog priest ! by gar, me Jack Rugby, he is dead already, if he be come.
vill cut his ears. Rug. He is wise, sir; he knew your worship would Host. He will clapper-claw thee tightly, bully. kill him, if he came.
Caius. Clapper-de-claw! vat is dat ? Caius. By gar, de herring is no dead, so as I vill kill Host. That is, he will make thee amends. him. Take your rapier, Jack; I vill tell you how I Caius. By gar, me do look, he shall clapper-de-claw vill kill him.
me; for, by gar, me vill have it. Rug. Alas, sir! I cannot fence. [Runs back afraid. Host.' And I will provoke him to't, or let him wag. Caius. Villainy, take your rapier.
Caius. Me tank you for dat. Rug. Forbear; here's company.
Host. And moreover, bully,—But first, master guest, Enter Host
, SHALLOW, SLENDER, and PAGE. and master Page, and eke cavaliero Slender, go you Host. Bless thee, bully doctor.
through the town to Frogmore. [ Aside to them. Shal. Save you, master doctor Caius.
Page. Sir Hugh is there, is he? Page. Now, good master doctor.
Host. He is there : see what humour he is in, and I Slen. Give you good-morrow, sir.
will bring the doctor about by the fields. Will it do Caius. Vat be all you, one, two, tree, four, come for? well ?
Host. To see thee fight; to see thee foin, to see thee Shal. We will do it. traverse, to see thee here, to see thee there; to see Page. Shal. and Slen. Adieu, good master doctor. thee pass thy punto, thy stock, thy reverse, thy dis
[Exeunt PAGE, SHALLOW, and SLENDER. tance, thy montant. Is he dead, my Ethiopian? is he Caius. By gar, me vill kill de priest, for he speak dead, my Francisco ? ha, bully! What says my Æscu- for a jack-an-ape to Anne Page. lapius? my Galen? my heart of elder ?2 ha! is he dead, Host. Let him die. Sheathe thy impatience; throw bully-stale ? is he dead?
cold water on thy choler. Go about the fields with me Caius. By gar, he is de coward Jack priest of the through Frogmore; I will bring thee where mistress vorld; he is not show his face.
Anne Page is, at a farm-house a feasting, and thou Host. Thou art a Castalian-king-Urinal:3 Hector of shall woo her. Curds and cream,* said I well? Greece, my boy.
Caius. By gar, me tank you for dat: by gar, I love Caius. I pray you, bear vitness that me have stay six you; and I shall procure-a you de good guest, de earl, or seven, two, tree hours for him, and he is no come. de knight, de lords, de gentlemen, my patients. i
Shal. He is the wiser man, master doctor: he is a Host. For the which I will be thy adversary toward curer of souls, and you a curer of bodies; if you should Anne Page: said I well ? fight, you go against the hair of your professions. Is it Caius. By gar, 'tis good; vell said. not true, master Page ?
Host. Let us wag then. Page. Master Shallow, you have yourself been a Caius. Come at my heels, Jack Rugby. great fighter, though now a man of peace.
SCENE I.-A Field near Frogmore.
Eva. I most fehemently desire you, you will also
look that way. Enter Sir Hugh Evans, with a book, and SIMPLE. Sim. I will, sir.
[Retiring. Eva. I pray you now, good master Slender's serving- Eva. Pless my soul, how full of cholers I
and man, and friend Simple by your name, which way have trempling of mind !--I shall be glad, if he have deyou looked for master Caius, that calls himself Doctor ceived me.—How melancholies I am !-I will knog his of Physic?
urinals about his knave's costard, when I have good Sim. Marry, sir, the pit-way, the park-way,' old opportunities for the 'ork:-pless my soul! Windsor way, and every way, but the town way.
1 This direction is not in f. e. 2 The elder has a soft pith. in great disfavour with the English when this play was written.
3 Knight reads, Castilian, King-Urinal. The Spaniards were, of course, 4 cried game : in f. e. 5 the petty-ward, the park-ward, every way: in f.e.