the hind, had to mount the cutty-stool in atonement for his amatory transgressions, and back-sliders of inferior station were visited still more severely for their moral lapses and "heinous sins." One of the striking features throughout was the evident avidity with which cases of indecent character were hunted out, and every detail investigated, as if the Reverend Inquisitor, whether Minister or Elder, gloated on the obscene revelations which they insisted on being made. Many of these were as filthy, above a hundred years ago, as some of the trials reported in our newspapers are at the present day. My duty was thus pleasantly and satisfactorily performed. My note-book was full. My skill in decyphering obsolete manuscript was cultivated and improved; and my health was restored as if by miracle. Of other incidents and results I shall only state that on one occasion, to rival Bruce in Abyssinia, I dined off mutton whilst the sheep nibbled the grass upon the lawn,-our fare being the amputated tails of the animals, which made a very dainty dish ;-that on reaching Edinburgh, my hackney, having from a dark gallop over a ground where a murder had been committed not long before, and being put into a cold stable, lost every hair on its hide like a scalded pig, subjected me to half his price in lieu of damage;—and that the famous and ancient Polmood remained in the possession of Lord Forbes, as inherited from the charter of King Robert, who gave the lands for ever, as high up as heaven and as low down as hell," to the individual named in the grant which was witnessed "by Meg, my wife, and Marjory, my nourice.' 66 This was nearly my last exploit in Edinburgh. A ́delightful excursion over Fife, and visit to Balcarres Castle, the seat of the noble and lively Lindsays, finished my Scottish sojourn. I bade farewell to many dear friends and companions, and again taking leave of my native home, sought the busy mart of London without a fixed plan, and only vague notions and wishes floating in my imagination, among which the pursuit of a literary life was the most prominent and the least understood. Like a child I could only see the gilt edges and gay binding of the book, and little apprehended the toil of the text, the labour of the brain, and all the troubles and ills that were concealed within! CHAPTER X. NAVAL SERVICES. To rancour unknown, to no passion a slave, And this is the true English sailor.-DIBDIN. LONDON on my return to it presented altogether a different aspect to me. Three years had wrought a mighty change in it, in my quondam associates and in myself. The first was, perhaps, merely a delusion of the mind created by the latter two; for my friends had got into the harness of busy life, whilst I had been loitering on the way. They were full of activity and hope: I had no fixed object, and was unsettled and dissatisfied. This was a very unfavourable condition, and its consequences, as might be anticipated, such as could not be experienced without trouble and sorrow. My resources from home were necessarily limited, my anxieties unceasingly preying on my soul, and my desultory endeavours to achieve my indefinite scheme for provision and reputation, unfailingly abortive ! Such a design so prosecuted could not possibly be successful; and the inevitable fate of relying upon chance in the chapter of accidents was the consummation of my visionary projects. In a small measure, it is true, I got into difficulties and into debt; and I mixed in too good and respectable a connection to have mercy shown to my deficiencies. I endured the consequent annoyances and vexations in secret, sustained by the resentments of an injured man; whereas it was I who had wronged myself, and my own imprudence alone had cast me so far into the power of disappointed creditors and the clutches of grasping attorneys. It was not much, indeed; but everything is overwhelming where the demands exceed the supplies, and, be he ever so poor, he who lives within his income is infinitely more prosperous and happier than the wealthy person who exceeds his revenues. It was now that I got my first lesson of that fatal truth, that debt is the greatest curse which can beset the course of a human being. It cools his friends and heats his enemies; it throws obstacles in the way of his every advance towards independence; it degrades him in his own estimation, and exposes him to humiliation from others, however beneath him in station and character; it marks him for injustice and spoil; it weakens his moral perceptions and benumbs his intellectual faculties; it is a burthen not to be borne consistently with fair hopes of fortune, or that peace of mind which passeth all understanding, both in a worldly and eternal sense. But I shall have much to say on the subject in the future pages of this biography, though I cannot omit the opportunity afforded by my earliest taste of the bitter fruit which poisons every pulse of existence, earnestly to exhort my youthful readers to deny themselves every expense which they cannot harmlessly afford, and revel on bread and water and a lowly couch, in humility and patience, rather than incur the obligation of a single sixpence beyond their actual means. In the present instance, my difficulties, distressing in their nature though trifling in their amount, were shortly arranged, and the harpies chased away; but my hardly recovered health could not withstand the mortification, and I relapsed into serious indisposition. The fire of resentment was extinguished, and lassitude, apathy, and doubt supervened to darken the prospect of one who had found himself so helpless in the hour of trial. The proud and vain reliance on my long and ridiculously flattered talents abandoned me, and I felt a sinking, physical and mental, which made me almost regardless of aught that could happen. In this desponding frame my uncle, who was then surgeon of the Gladiator guardship in Portsmouth harbour, deemed it desirable to have me under his own medical care, and, as I could not stay on board as a visitor, I had the honour to be entered in H. M. Royal Navy, assuredly not as A. B., for able-bodied I was not, but, as I have just ascertained, by application to the proper official quarter, as surgeon's clerk, in which capacity I served from October 1st, 1805, to 28th February, 1806, when I was discharged, honourably, my nett pay, or wages, 57. 3s. 1d., being paid some months after, as 'per order, to Samuel Moses," of whose existence, till I received this memorandum, I was profoundly ignorant. I have only to add that if Mr. Disraeli should receive an anonymous sum of conscience money of about this amount, he may as well give me credit for it; as I never could estimate my naval services worthy of such a recompense either to myself, or my unknown representative, Moses. I was, however, placed in the gunners' mess; the Captain of Marines, Mitchell, married and living ashore, kindly gave me up his cabin and cot: I took my meals with my uncle and other officers in the gunroom, and was occasionally threatened to be flogged for not dousing my glim when the signal was given by the serjeant-at-arms. I nevertheless, read on, throughout the night, though sometimes diverted to the study of natural 66 |