INITIAL CHAPTER. Ἐξ δυ δὴ τὰ πρῶτα.—HOMER. THEY Who remember the year 1800 will remember also the great controversy whether it was the beginning of a century or the end of one; a controversy in which all magazines, all newspapers, and all persons took part. Now, as it has been deemed expedient to divide this work, or to speak more emphatically this opus, or more emphatically still, this ergon, into chapters ante-initial and post-initial, a dispute of the same nature might arise among the commentators in after ages, if especial care were not now taken to mark distinctly the beginning. This, therefore, is the initial chapter, neither ante nor post, but standing between both; the point of initiation-the goal of the antes, the starting-place of the posts; the mark at which the former end their career, and from whence the latter take their departure. with a back to it, the seats serving as chests, in which the oaten bread was kept. They were of the darkest brown, and On the back of each were well polished by constant use. the same initials as those over the door, with the date 1610. The great oak table, and the chest in the best kitchen which held the house linen, bore the same date. The chimney was well hung with bacon, the rack which covered half the ceiling bore equal marks of plenty; mutton hams were suspended from other parts of the ceiling; and there was an odour of cheese from the adjoining dairy, which the turf fire, though perpetual as that of the magi or of the Vestal virgins, did not overpower. A few pewter dishes were ranged above the trenchers, opposite the door on a conspicuous shelf. The other treasures of the family were in an open triangular cupboard, fixed in one of the corners of the best kitchen, halfway from the floor, and touching the ceiling. They consisted of a silver saucepan, a silver goblet, and four apostle spoons. Here also King Charles's Golden Rules were pasted against the wall, and a large print of Daniel in the Lion's Den. The lions were bedaubed with yellow, and the prophet was bedaubed with blue, with a red patch upon each of his cheeks if he had been like his picture he might have frightened the lions; but happily there were no "judges" in the family, and it had been bought for its name's sake. The other print which ornamented the room had been purchased from a like feeling, though the cause was not so immediately apparent. It represented a ship in full sail, with Joseph and the Virgin Mary, and the Infant on board, and a dove flying behind as if to fill the sails with the motion of its wings. Six black chairs were ranged along the wall, where they were seldom disturbed from their array. They had been purchased by Daniel the grandfather upon his marriage, and were the most costly purchase that had ever been made in the family; for the goblet was a legacy. The backs were higher than the head of the tallest man when seated; the seats flat and shallow, set in a round frame, unaccommodating in their material, more unaccommodating in shape; the backs also were of wood rising straight up, and ornamented with balls, and lozenges, and embossments; and the legs and crossbars were adorned in the same taste. Over the chimney were two peacocks' feathers, some of the dry silky pods of the honesty flower, and one of those large "sinuous shells" so finely thus described by Landor : "Of pearly hue Within, and they that lustre have imbibed In the sun's palace porch; where, when unyoked, His chariot wheel stands midway in the wave, Shake one, and it awakens; then apply Its polished lips to your attentive ear, And murmurs as the ocean murmurs there. There was also a head of Indian corn there, and a back scratcher, of which the hand was ivory and the handle black. This had been a present of Daniel the grandfather to his wife. The three apartments above served equally for storerooms and bedchambers. William Dove the brother slept in one, and Agatha the maid, or Haggy, as she was called, in another. CHAPTER V. P. I. EXTENSION OF THE SCIENCE OF PHYSIOGNOMY, WITH SOME REMARKS UPON THE PRACTICAL USES OF CRANIOLOGY. Hanc ergo scientiam blande excipiamus, hilariterque amplectamur, ut vere nostram et de nobismet ipsis tractantem; quam qui non amat, quam qui non amplectitur, nec philosophiam amat, neque suæ vitæ discrimina curat.-BAPTISTA PORTA. THEY who know that the word physiognomy is not derived from phiz, and infer from that knowledge that the science is not confined to the visage alone, have extended it to handwritings also, and hence it has become fashionable in this age of collectors to collect the autographs of remarkable persons. But now that Mr. Rapier has arisen, "the reformer of illegible hands," he and his rival Mr. Carstairs teach all their pupils to write alike. The countenance, however, has fairer play in our days than it had in old times, for the long heads of the sixteenth century were made by the nurses, not by nature. Elongating the nose, flattening the temples, and raising the forehead are no longer performed by manual force, and the face undergoes now no other artificial modelling than such as may be impressed upon it by the aid of the looking-glass. So far physiognomy becomes less difficult, the data upon which it has to proceed not having been falsified ab initio; but there arises a question in what state ought they to be examined? Dr. Gall is for shaving the head, and overhauling it as a Turk does a Circassian upon sale, that he may discover upon the outside of the scull the organs of fighting, murder, cunning, and thieving, (near neighbours in his mappa cerebri,) of comparing colours, of music, of sexual instinct, of philosophical judgment &c., &c.; all which, with all other qualities, have their latitudes and longitudes in the brain, and are conspicuous upon the outward scull, according to the degree in which they influence the character of the individual. It must be admitted that if this learned German's theory of craniology be well founded, the gods have devised a much surer, safer, and more convenient means for discovering the real characters of the lords and ladies of the creation, than what Momus proposed, when he advised that a window should be placed in the breast. For if his advice had been followed, and there had actually been a window in the sternum, it is I think beyond all doubt that a window shutter would soon have been found indispensably necessary in cold climates, more especially in England, where pulmonary complaints are so frequent; and, secondly, the wind would not be more injurious to the lungs in high latitudes, than the sun would be to the liver in torrid regions; indeed, everywhere during summer it would be impossible to exist without a green curtain, or Venetian blinds to the window; and after all, take what precautions we might, the world would be ten times more bilious than it is. Another great physical inconvenience would also have arisen; for if men could peep into their insides at any time, and see the motions and the fermentations which are continually going on, and the rise and progress of every malady distinctly marked in the changes it produced, so many nervous diseases would be brought on by frequent inspection, and so many derangements from attempting to regulate the machine, that the only way to prevent it from making a full stop would be to put a lock upon the shutter, and deliver the key to the physician. But upon Dr. Gall's theory how many and what obvious advantages result! Nor are they merely confined to the purpose of speculative physiognomy; the uses of his theory as applied to practice offer to us hopes scarcely less delightful than those which seemed to dawn upon mankind with the discovery of the gases, and with the commencement of the French revolution, and in these later days with the progress of the Bible Society. In courts of justice, for instance, how beautifully would this new science supply any little deficiency of evidence upon trial! If a man were arraigned for murder, and the case were doubtful, but he were found to have a decided organ for the crime, it would be of little matter whether he had committed the specific fact in the endictment, or not; for hanging, if not applicable as punishment, would be proper for prevention. Think also in state trials what infinite advantages an attorney-general might derive from the opinion of a regius professor of craniology! Even these are but partial benefits. Our generals, ministers, and diplomatists would then unerringly be chosen by the outside of the head, though a criterion might still be wanted to ascertain when it was too thick and when too thin. But the greatest advantages are those which this new system would afford to education; for by the joint efforts of Dr. Gall and Mr. Edgeworth we should be able to breed up men accord. ing to any pattern which parents or guardians might think proper to bespeak. The doctor would design the mould, and Mr. Edgeworth by his skill in mechanics devise with characteristic ingenuity the best means of making and applying it. As soon as the child was born, the professional cap, medical, military, theological, commercial, or legal, would be put on, and thus he would be perfectly prepared for Mr. Edgeworth's admirable system of professional education. I will pursue this subject no further than just to hint that the materials of the mould may operate sympathetically, and therefore that for a lawyer in rus the cap should be made of brass, for a divine of lead, for a politician of base metal, for a soldier of steel, and for a sailor of heart of English oak. Dr. Gall would doubtless require the naked head to be submitted to him for judgment. Contrariwise I opine-and all the ladies will agree with me in this opinion-that the head ought neither to be stripped, nor even examined in undress, but that it should be taken with all its accompaniments, when the owner has made the best of it; the accompaniments being not unfrequently more indicative than the features themselves. Long ago the question whether a man is most like himself dressed or undressed, was propounded to the British Apollo: and it was answered by the oracle that a man of God Almighty's making is most like himself when undressed; but a man of a tailor's, periwig-maker's, and seamstress's making, when dressed. The oracle answered rightly; for no man can select his own eyes, nose, or mouth; but his wig and his whiskers are of his own choosing. And to use an illustrious instance, how much of character is there in that awful wig which always in its box accompanies Dr. Parr upon his visits of ceremony, that it may be put on in the hall, with all its feathery honours thick upon it, not a curl deranged, a hair flattened, or a particle of powder wasted on the way! But if we would form a judgment of the interior of that portentous head which is thus formidably obumbrated, how could it be done so well as by beholding the doctor among his books, and there seeing the food upon which his terrific intellect is fed. There we should see the accents, quantities, dialects, digammas, and other such small gear as in these days constitute the complete armour of a perfect scholar; and by thus discovering what goes into the head we might form a fair estimate of what was likely to come out of it. This is a truth which, with many others of equal importance, will be beautifully elucidated in this nonpareil history. For Daniel Dove the father had a collection of books; they were not so numerous as those of his contemporary Harley, famous for his library, and infamous for the peace of Utrecht; but he was perfectly conversant with all their contents, which is more than could be said of the Earl of Oxford. Reader, whether thou art man, woman, or child, thou art doubtless acquainted with the doctrine of association as in See Foster's Life |