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grandam ; to fast, like one that takes diet;' to watch, like one that fears robbing; to speak puling, like a beggar at Hollowmas. You were wont, when you laughed, to crow like a cock; when you walked, to walk like one of the lions; when you fasted, it was presently after dinner; when you looked sadly, it was for want of money: and now you are metamorphosed with a mistress, that, when I look on you, I can hardly think you my master.
Val. Are all these things perceived in me?
Speed. Without you! nay, that's certain, for, without you were so simple, none else would : but you are so without these follies, that these follies are within you, and shine through you like the water in an urinal; that not an eye, that sees you, but is a physician to comment on your malady.
Val. But, tell me, dost thou know my lady Silvia ?
Speed. She that you gaze on so, as she sits at supper?
Val. Hast thou observed that ? even she I mean. Speed. Why, sir, I know her not.
Val. Dost thou know her by my gazing on her, and yet know'st her not?
Speed. Is she not hard-favored, sir?
Speed. That she is not so fair, as (of you) wellfavored.
Val. I mean, that her beauty is exquisite, but her favor infinite.
Speed. That's because the one is painted, and the other out of all count.
1 To take diet is to be under a regimen for a disease.
2 The feast of All-hallows, or All Saints, at which time the poor in Staffordshire go froin parish to parish a souling, as they call it; i. e. begging and puling, for soul cakes, and singing what they call the souler's song.
Val. How painted ? and how out of count?
Speed. Marry, sir, so painted to make her fair, that no man counts of her beauty.
Val. How esteem'st thou me? I account of her beauty.
Speed. You never saw her since she was deformed.
Val. I have loved her ever since I saw her; and still I see her beautiful.
Speed. If you love her, you cannot see her.
Speed. Because love is blind. O, that you had mine eyes; or your own eyes had the lights they were wont to have, when you chid at Sir Proteus for going ungartered !
Val. What should I see then ?
Speed. Your own present folly, and her passing deformity: for he, being in love, could not see to garter his hose; and you, being in love, cannot see to put on
Val. Belike, boy, then you are in love; for last morning you could not see to wipe my shoes.
Speed. True, sir ; I was in love with my bed : I thank you, you swinged me for my love, which makes me the bolder to chide you for yours.
Val. In conclusion, I stand affected to her.
Speed. I would you were set,so, your affection would cease.
Val. Last night she enjoined me to write some lines to one she loves
Speed. And have you?
Val. No, boy, but as well as I can do them :-
1 Going ungartered is enumerated by Rosalind as one of the undoubted marks of love, in As You Like It, iii. 2. 2 Set, for seated, in opposition to stand in the preceding line.
VOL. I. 13
Enter Silvia. Speed. O excellent motion ! 1 O exceeding puppet! now will he interpret to her.
Val. Madam and mistress, a thousand good-morrows. Speed. O, 'give you good even! here's a million of Sil. Sir Valentine and servant, to you two thousand.
Speed. He should give her interest; and she gives it him.
Val. As you enjoined me, I have writ your letter Unto the secret, nameless friend of yours ; Which I was much unwilling to proceed in, But for my duty to your ladyship. Sil. I thank you, gentle servant: 'tis very clerkly?
done. Val. Now trust me, madam, it came hardly off; For, being ignorant to whom it goes, I writ at random, very doubtfully. Sil. Perchance you think too much of so much
pains ? Val. No, madam ; so it stead
I will write, Please you command, a thousand times as much:
Sil. A pretty period! Well, I guess the sequel ; And yet I will not name it :-and
I care not; -
[Aside. Val. What means your ladyship? do you not like it?
Sil. Yes, yes; the lines are very quaintly writ:
1 Motion signified, in Shakspeare's time, a puppet-show. Speed means to say, “What a fine puppet-show shall we have now! Here is the prin. cipal puppet to whom my master will be the interpreter.” The show-man was then frequently called the interpreter.
2 i. e. like a scholar.
Sil. Ay, ay; you writ them, sir, at my request ;
Val. Please you, I'll write your ladyship another.
Sil. And, when it's writ, for my sake read it over : And, if it please you, so; if not, why, so.
Val. If it please me, madam! what then?
your labor; And so, good-morrow, servant. [Exit Silvia.
Speed. O jest unseen, inscrutable, invisible, As a nose on a man's face, or a weathercock on a
steeple! My master sues to her; and she hath taught her suitor, He being her pupil, to become her tutor. O excellent device! was there ever heard a better? That my master, being scribe, to himself should write
the letter? Val. How now, sir ? what are you reasoning with yourself?
Speed. Nay, I was rhyming ; 'tis you that have the reason.
Val. To do what?
Speed. What need she, when she hath made you write to yourself? Why, do you not perceive the jest?
Val. No, believe me.
Speed. No believing you indeed, sir : But did you perceive her earnest ?
Val. She gave me none, except an angry word.
Speed. And that letter hath she delivered, and there an end.
Val. I would, it were no worse.
For often have you writ to her; and she, in modesty,
lover. All this I speak in print;' for in print I found it.Why muse you, sir? 'tis dinner-time.
Val. I have dined.
Speed. Ay, but hearken, sir : though the chameleon Love can feed on the air, I am one that am nourished by my victuals, and would fain have meat: 0, be not like your mistress; be moved, be moved. [Exeunt.
SCENE II. Verona. A Room in Julia's House.
Enter PROTEUS and Julia.
Jul. If you turn not, you will return the sooner.
[Giving a ring. Pro. Why then we'll make exchange; here, take
Jul. And seal the bargain with a holy kiss.
Pro. Here is my hand for my true constancy;
[Exit Julia. Julia, farewell.—What! gone without a word !
1 With exactness.