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Mrs. Ford. I am half afraid, he will have need of washing; so throwing him into the water will do him a benefit. Mrs. Page. Hang him, dishonest rascal! I would, all of the same strain were in the same distress.

Mrs. Ford. I think, my husband hath some special suspicion of Falstaff's being here; for I never saw him so gross in his jealousy till now.

Mrs. Page. I will lay a plot to try that: And we will yet have more tricks with Falstaff: his dissolute disease will scarce obey this medicine.

Mrs. Ford. Shall we send that foolish carrion, mistress Quickly, to him, and excuse his throwing into the water; and give him another hope, to betray him to another punishment?.

Mrs. Page. We'll do it; let him be sent for to-morrow eight o'clock, to have amends.

Re-enter FORD, PAGE, CAIUS, and Sir HUGH EVANS.

Ford. I cannot find him: may be the knave bragged of that he could not compass.

Mrs. Page. Heard you that?

Mrs. Ford. Ay, ay, peace :-You use me well, master Ford, do you?

Ford. Ay, I do so.

Mrs. Ford. Heaven make you better than your thoughts! Ford. Amen.

Mrs. Page. You do yourself mighty wrong, master Ford. Ford. Ay, ay; I must bear it.

Eva. If there be any pody in the house, and in the chambers, and in the coffers, and in the presses, heaven forgive my sins at the day of judgment !

Caius. By gar, nor I too; dere is no bodies.

Page. Fye, fye, master Ford! are you not ashamed?— what spirit, what devil suggests this imagination? I would not have your distemper in this kind, for the wealth of Windsor Castle.

Ford. 'Tis my fault, master Page: I suffer for it. Eva. You suffer for a pad conscience: your wife is as honest a 'omans, as I will desires among five thousand, and five hundred too.

Caius. By gar, I see 'tis an honest woman.

Ford. Well;-I promis'd you a dinner-Come, come, walk in the park: I pray you, pardon me; I

will hereafter make known to you, why I have done this.-Come, wife ;-come, mistress Page; I pray you, pardon me; pray heartily, pardon me.

Page. Let's go in, gentlemen; but, trust me, we'll mock him. I do invite you to-morrow morning to my house to breakfast; after, we'll a birding together; I have a fine hawk for the bush: Shall it be so ?

Ford. Any thing.

Eva. If there is one, I shall make two in the company. Caius. If there be one or two, I shall make-a de tird. Eva. In your teeth :-for shame.

Ford. Pray you go, master Page.

Eva. I pray you now, remembrance to-morrow on the lousy knave, mine host.

Caius. Dat is good; by gar, vit all my heart.

Eva. A lousy knave; to have his gibes, and his mockeries.

SCENE IV.

[Exeunt.

A Room in PAGE's house. Enter FENTON and Mistress

ANNE PAGE.

Fent. I see, I cannot get thy father's love; Therefore, no more turn me to him, sweet Nan. Anne. Alas! how then?

Fent. Why, thou must be thyself.

He doth object, I am too great of birth;

And that, my state being gall'd with my expense,
I seek to heal it only by his wealth :

Besides these, other bars he lays before me,-
My riots past, my wild societies;

And tells me, 'tis a thing impossible
I should love thee, but as a property.
Anne. May be, he tells you true.

Fent. No, heaven so speed me in my time to come! Albeit, I will confess, thy father's wealth3

Was the first motive that I woo'd thee, Anne :
Yet, wooing thee, I found thee of more value
Than stamps in gold, or sums in sealed bags;

[3] Some light may be given to those who shall endeavour to calculate the increase of English wealth, by observing, that Latymer, in the time of Edward VI. mentions it as a proof of his father's prosperity, That though but a yeoman, he gave his daughters five pounds each for her portion. At the latter end of Elizabeth, seven hundred pounds were such a temptation to courtship, as made all other motives suspected. Congreve makes twelve thousand pounds more than a counterbalance to the affectation of Belinda. No poet will now fly his favourite character at less than fifty thousand. JOHNSON.

And 'tis the very riches of thyself

That now I aim at.

Anne. Gentle Master Fenton,

:

Yet seek my father's love still seek it, sir:
If opportunity and humblest suit

Cannot attain it, why then.-Hark you hither.

[They converse apart. Enter SHALLOW, SLENDER, and Mistress QUICKLY.

Shal. Break their talk, mistress Quickly; my kinsman shall speak for himself.

Slen. I'll make a shaft or a bolt on't: slid, 'tis but venturing.

Shal. Be not dismay'd.

Slen. No, she shall not dismay me: I care not for that, -but that I am afeard.

Quic. Hark ye; master Slender would speak a word with you.

Anne. I come to him.-This is my father's choice. O, what a world of vile ill-favour'd faults

Looks handsome in three hundred pounds a year! [Aside. Quic. And how does good master Fenton ? Pray you, a word with you.

Shal. She's coming; to her, coz. O boy, thou hadst

a father!

Slen. I had a father, mistress Anne ;-my uncle can tell you good jests of him :-Pray you, uncle, tell mistress Anne the jest, how my father stole two geese out of a pen, good uncle.

Shal. Mistress Anne, my cousin loves you.

Slen. Ay, that I do; as well as I love any woman in Glostershire.

Shal. He will maintain you like a gentlewoman.

Slen. Ay, that I will, come cut and long-tail,* under the degree of a 'squire.

Shal. He will make you a hundred and fifty pounds jointure.

Anne. Good master Shallow, let him woo for himself. Shal. Marry, I thank you for it; I thank you for that good comfort. She calls you, coz: I'll leave you.

[4] i. e. come poor or rich. The following is said to be the origin of the phrase:According to the forest laws, a man, who had no right to the privilege of chase, was obliged to cut, or law his dog, amongst other modes of disabling him, by depriving him of his tail. A dog so cut, was called a cut, curt-tail, and by contraction, cur. Cut and long-tail therefore signify the dog of a clown, and the dog of a gentleman. STEEVENS

Anne. Now, master Slender.
Slen. Now, good mistress Anne.
Anne. What is your will?

Slen. My will? od's heartlings, that's a pretty jest, indeed! I ne'er made my will yet, I thank heaven; I am not such a sickly creature, I give heaven praise.

Anne. I mean, master Slender, what would you with me? Slen. Truly, for mine own part, I would little or nothing with you: Your father, and my uncle, have made motions: if it be my luck, so; if not, happy man be his dole! They can tell you how things go, better than I can : you may ask your father; here he comes.

Enter PAGE and Mistress PAGE.

Page. Now, master Slender :-Love him, daughter Anne.

-Why, how now! what does master Fenton here? You wrong me, sir, thus still to haunt my house :

I told you, sir, my daughter is dispos'd of.

Fent. Nay, master Page, be not impatient.

Mrs. Page. Good master Fenton, come not to my child. Page. She is no match for you.

Fent. Sir, will you hear me?

Page. No, good master Fenton.

Come, master Shallow; come, son Slender; in :—

Knowing my mind, you wrong me, master Fenton.

[Exeunt PAGE, SHALLOW, and Slender.

Quic. Speak to mistress Page.

Fent. Good mistress Page, for that I love your daughter

In such a righteous fashion as I do,

Perforce, against all checks, rebukes, and manners,

I must advance the colours of my love,

And not retire: Let me have your good will.

Anne. Good mother, do not marry me to yond' fool. Mrs. Page. I mean it not; I seek you a better husband. Quic. That's my master, master doctor.

Anne. Alas, I had rather be set quick i' the earth,

And bowl'd to death with turnips.

Mrs. Page. Come, trouble not yourself: Good master Fenton,

I will not be your friend, nor enemy:

My daughter will I question how she loves you,

And as I find her, so am I affected;

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Till then, farewell, sir :-She must needs go in ;
Her father will be angry. [Ex. Mrs. PAGE and Anne.
Fent. Farewell, gentle mistress; farewell, Nan.

Quic. This is my doing now ;-Nay, said I, will you cast away your child on a fool, and a physician? Look on master Fenton :-this is my doing.

Fent. I thank thee; and I pray thee, once to-night give my sweet Nan this ring :-There's for thy pains. [Exit.

Quic. Now heaven send thee good fortune! A kind heart he hath a woman would run through fire and water for such a kind heart. But yet, I would my master had mistress Anne; or I would master Slender had her; or, in sooth, I would master Fenton had her: I will do what I can for them all three; for so I have promised, and I'll be as good as my word; but speciously for master Fenton. Well, I must of another errand to sir John Falstaff from my two mistresses: What a beast am I to slack it. [Exit.

SCENE V.

A Room in the Garter Inn.

Enter FALSTAFF and

BARDOLPH.

Fal. Bardolph, I say,

Bard. Here, sir.

Fal. Go fetch me a quart of sack; put a toast in't. [Exit BARD.] Have I lived to be carried in a basket, like a barrow of butcher's offal; and to be thrown into the Thames? Well, if I be served such another trick, I'll have my brains ta'en out, and buttered, and give them to a dog for a new year's gift. The rogues slighted me into the river with as little remorse as they would have drowned a bitch's blind puppies, fifteen i' the litter: and you may know by my size, that I have a kind of alacrity in sinking; if the bottom were as deep as hell, I should down. I had been drowned, but that the shore was shelvy and shallow; a death that I abhor; for the water swells a man; and what a thing should I have been, when I had been swelled! I should have been a mountain of mummy.

Re-enter BARDOLPH, with the wine.

Bard. Here's mistress Quickly, sir, to speak with you. Fal. Come, let me pour in some sack to the Thames [5] She means to say specially STEEVENS.

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