1705, and upon giving security, by two bondsmen, for good behaviour during life, I obtained a release from my bonds. But still there remains another, and more righteous judgment, where all both high and low shall stand and await the sentence of the great judge and bishop of souls, who will surely reverse all erroneous judgments here; for he will render tribulation to them who have troubled others; but to them who are troubled, rest and peace: and they who have conscientiously erred, will surely fare better, than those who have persecuted them for such error. For they shall have judgment without mercy, who shew no mercy. But I heartily and daily pray, this may never be the portion of any who have injured me and as I hope the good God will forgive me if I have erred, since he knows 'tis with sincerity, and that I suffer for what I take to be his truth and glory; so I also hope he will pardon them, who have persecuted me, only from a mistaken zeal; for they did it ignorantly in unbelief.

"And now after all, I thank my most merciful God and Father, that as he called me not to this lot of suffering, till I was arrived at some maturity of judgment, and firmness of resolution, so he left me not when my friends and acquaintance forsook me; that he supported my spirit, to endure this trial of my faith without wavering; that I was never so cast down, as to be tempted to renounce the truth; that he preserved my health under this long confinement; that I had a few friends who were a comfort to me in my bonds; (the Lord grant they may find mercy of the Lord in that day) that he inclined any in authority to shew, at last, compassion to me and that he has brought me out of prison, and set my feet in a large place; that I have yet food and raiment left me; and above all, that he has given me a mind, I think, as well contented with it, as ever I was in my greatest prosperity. I am content to want the kind and vain respects of the world, and to give up my name to mistaken reproach; or to lose it (if that may be) in silent unregarded obscurity. I have suffered the loss of many things, and do not repent; but upon the review, I do still count it all but loss and dung, if it has any way advanced the excellency of the knowledge of Christ Jesus my Lord.

It is a further ground of rejoicing, to see the light of important truth breaking forth in many other parts, and spreading abroad its beautiful ray; that God has raised up divers others, bold enough to profess it, and able enough, with his assistance, to defend it; I mean with weapons of a spiritual warfare, against those whose great confidence and dexterity are in those which are carnal. And though it has been my great

gravamen or misery to be laid by in silence; so that I have been sometimes ready to lament myself as an unprofitable servant, turned out of his master's service: yet if I have contributed any thing to retrieve the injured honour of the peerless majesty of the one God and Father of our Lord Jesus, whom to be like to, was the great glory of our Lord Jesus; and if the things which have happened to me, have fallen out rather to the furtherance of the Gospel, I shall not think myself to have been wholly useless. For though I shall ever prefer the interests of serious piety, charity, and practical holiness, to any barren speculations; and had much rather a man should love our Lord Jesus in sincerity, than barely think of him just as I do: yet if I have also served the cause of his truth, it may be 'tis beyond what I could have done, by teaching men only what they would have taught them; because there will never be men wanting to take that office, while fewer will take the part I have borne, to the hazard of all that the world counts dear and pleasant. However, as matters were, I had no room for an innocent choice, nor any other part but this left me; being judged unworthy, and made uncapable, of all the rest. Yet, during my confinement in the Marshalsea, as I suffered on account of religion, so I continued to preach there:* I had hired a pretty large room to myself: whither on the Lord's-days resorted some of the imprisoned Debtors; and from without doors came several of the lower sort of my former people and usual hearers, who would not wholly forsake me, nor refuse to worship God with me; which was a great pleasure in my condition. And if in the whole I may but approve myself to my great Judge, and giver of the prize; I am not anxious about the applause or censures of the spectators, who shall be judged also.'

The following are from "Meditations on my Afflicted Condition, 1704."

"1. O my God, what a change hast thou made in my outward condition! Once the light of thy providence shone pleasantly on my tabernacle; I had abundance of prosperity and fulness. I had a dear and pleasant companion in whom I securely trusted, but thou hast removed the desires of mine eyes with an early stroke. I had a tolerable esteem, and a multitude of friends, but am now become their scorn and by

See his farewell Sermon upon his release from prison, Sermon 6, in the volume of Sermons.

word, and my acquaintance and friends stand afar off. I had a delightful habitation, which is now exchanged for a prison; nay, I had once great opportunity to serve thy honour, and to do good to men by instructing them in thy will, and by persuading them to do it; but am now laid by from all that desirable service in thy beautiful courts. O Lord of hosts, my God and my King, my soul still thirsts and longs to behold thee in thy temple. Oh, how uncertain is this world's good! I see now by experience, that all flesh is but grass, and all the glory of man but as the flower of the field, which for a while spreads its beautiful leaves, and sends out its fragrant odours, and is with pleasure admired by every eye, but in a day or two it fades and dies, and there remains nothing but a poor neglected despised stalk. Such has my worldly glory been. O vanity of vanities, all is vanity.

"2. My God, I intend not in all this complaint to arraign the equity of thy wise providence, as though thou hadst done any wrong to thy poor sinful creature. Though what I have suffered from merciless men be not (as thou knowest right well) for any unrighteousness in my hand, but only for thy name and truth's sake, as my soul is verily persuaded, and according to the best judgment I can make from thy holy scriptures; yet O Lord, when I remember thy hand is in all this, I fall upon my face in confusion, whilst I see my own unworthiness, which thou mayst justly punish. With men I will justify myself, I will hold fast my righteousness, and not let go my integrity till I die, but with thee, O God, I will not contend; thou art righteous and I am sinful, for though thy grace hath kept me from gross and scandalous crimes, yet am I vile in my own eyes, and cannot but take shame to myself, that in the days of my prosperity, I was not more thankful for thy favours, that I brought forth no more fruit, that I was not more active in thy service. I became too secure and inconsiderate, so that after gentler corrections thou hast now laid thy hand heavy upon me, that I may not despise thy chastenings. O Lord grant, that I may not faint under them.

"3. And this, O Lord, thou knowest is my greatest burden in all my adversity, that I have done any thing to provoke thy displeasure. I am sometimes apt to think, as if thou hadst turned me cut of thy service, as an unprofitable servant, and laid me aside as a broken vessel, in which thou hast no pleasure. Chasten me, O God, if thou wilt, but let it not be in thy wrath; rebuke thy offending creature, if thou pleasest, but let it not be in thy hot displeasure; correct thou mine iniquity with thy rod, if thou seest good, and my transgressions

with stripes, but so that thy loving kindness may not depart from me, nor thy faithfuluess fail me. Smite me with the frowns of a friend, and shew me the light of thy countenance, and I will lay me down in peace, though my corn and my wine increase not.

"4. And yet, O Lord, I would not be too censorious of thy ways, nor put the worst interpretation upon thy providential rebukes. I remember, of old thou didst afflict thy servant Job for a proof of his piety, rather than a punishment of his sin, and that the afflictions of thy people are often temptations or trials of their faith and patience by which thou expectest they should glorify thee in showing what they can endure for thee, and this especially, when they suffer persecution from men for conscience towards God. This is my case, and though I will be humbly mindful of my sins, as one corrected for his faults, yet will I encourage myself as one called out to a glorious combat by my great Master, for whose peerless glory I am jealous, and for this cause I will not faint, through his grace. It may be it is the design of my good Master to put honour upon me, and bring glory to himself, by singling me out as a champion before men and angels to maintain his cause in those words of my Saviour, My Father is greater than I. My silence perhaps may speak, and my sufferings for thee be more serviceable to thy honour, than any other services I could do. Lord help me so to demean myself by patience, courage, and cheerful submission under all my tribulations, that I may glorify thy name and bear an honourable testimony to thy truth, and then I shall count it all joy to have had such trials. I am thy vessel, and thou mayst put me to what use thou wilt, use me so as may be most for thy own glory, whatever befals me, who am then most honoured, when I can serve most to thy praise.

"5. I have carefully examined into the occasion of my sufferings from uncharitable men, and am greatly assured, that my persecuted opinion is the truth of thy gospel, and yet if it. should not be so, that I suffer for truth, yet sure I am, I do for conscience, which thou wilt accept; for I find no temptation to draw me, but the pure conviction of my mind. I could have esteem, prosperity and friends, but since I cannot have these without belying my own judgment, and thy gospel, I freely renounce them, and am glad I have any thing to lose for thy sake; I will count them but dung in comparison of the true knowledge of thy Son Jesus Christ my Lord, and I bid welcome to my afflictions, to my losses, to my reproaches, to my bonds, and all my persecutions for thy sake. I am contented

with my blessed Lord to be called a blasphemer and an heretic by men, whilst I am sound and right in thy esteem. But though I suffer unto bonds, O Lord, let not thy word be bound, but run and be glorified in spite of all the opposition of a malignant and untoward generation, who think they do thee ser vice by inhuman cruelties done to thy servants, and whose mistaken religion lies so much in doing mischief to those, that conscientiously differ from them.

"7. O Lord I am thine, thou mayst do with thine own what thou pleasest; I had much rather be in bonds and straits, under reproaches and necessities for honouring my God, than to be at liberty and ease, to be great and full, and God's glory and interest to be a loser by it. Thou knowest best what my soul's condition requires; it may be prosperity or deliverance would slay me, and whilst I crave thy relieving hand for ease, thou mayst know, that further smart and pain is needful for me. O Lord, humble me and prove me, so that it may be for my good in my latter end; I would not be so inordinate in my love to this flesh, as to desire peace and quiet, when my soul's welfare forbids it; Lord, give me my portion of sorrows here, rather than hereafter. Give me now my evil things, that then 1 may be comforted, and then I'll say in very faithfulness thou didst correct me.

"10. And yet I find it so hard to raise my desires above this earth, that I admire thy wisdom in making this state so uneasy, that being crossed here, I might give over vain carnal pursuits, and bend more earnestly towards heaven. If notwithstanding my bondage I am so fond of this Egypt, if when through my troubles it might be expected I should be glad to go down into the grave for retirement, I am yet so loth to leave this earthly habitation, and when thou art seeming to call me hence, I still crave more delay; how strong, methinks, would the enchantments of this world be, if I had no disturbance in it. If I heard nothing but Siren songs, and rolled on with pleasure in Halcyon days; if no dear relations did die, nor friends prove false or unkind, nor enemies base and cruel, nor any afflictions disturb my repose, I fear, I should forget the way home, and loiter grieviously in my Christian course; such a calm sea would not further me in my voyage, as a few rough gales. Thou, who knowest the best way to draw me out of this snare, hast taught me by thy rebukes not to rest here; and that my heart may find no temptation to settle below, thou hast taken away the dearest objects of my love, that so my affections may follow after, and by this art be translated from earth to heaven, that when I stand gazing after my ascended