KENT. This is nothing, fool. FOOL. Then 'tis like the breath of an unfee'd lawyer,-you gave me nothing forʼt.—Can you make no use of nothing, nuncle? LEAR. Why, no, boy; nothing can be made out of nothing. FOOL. Prithee, tell him, so much the rent of his land comes to: he will not believe a fool.

LEAR. A bitter fool!

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[TO KENT, FOOL. Dost thou know the difference, my boy, between a bitter fool and a sweet one?

LEAR. No, lad; teach me.

FOOL.

That lord that counsell'd thee

To give away thy land,

Come place him here by me,—

Do thou for him stand:

The sweet and bitter fool

Will presently appear;

The one in motley here,

The other found out there.

LEAR. Dost thou call me fool, boy?

130

FOOL. All thy other titles thou hast given away; that thou wast born with

KENT. This is not altogether fool, my lord.

FOOL. No, faith, lords and great men will not let me; if I had a monopoly out, they would have part on't, and loads too : they will not let me have all fool to myself; they'll be snatching. Nuncle, give me an egg, and I'll give thee two

crowns.

143

LEAR. What two crowns shall they be? FOOL. Why, after I have cut the egg i' the middle, and eat up the meat, the two crowns of the egg. When thou clovest thy crown i' the middle, and gavest away both parts, thou borest thine ass on thy back o'er the dirt: thou hadst little wit in thy bald crown, when thou gavest thy golden one away. If I speak like myself in this, let him be whipped that first finds

it so.

Fools had ne'er less grace in a year;
For wise men are grown foppish,
And know not how their wits to wear,
Their manners are so apish.

151

[Singing.

LEAR. When were you wont to be so full of songs, sirrah? FOOL. I have used it, nuncle, e'er since thou madest thy daughters thy mothers: for when thou gavest them the rod, and puttest down thine own breeches,

Then they for sudden joy did weep,

And I for sorrow sung,

That such a king should play bo-peep,
And go the fools among.

159

[Singing.

Prithee, nuncle, keep a schoolmaster that can teach thy fool to I would fain learn to lie.

lie:

LEAR. An you lie, sirrah, we'll have you whipped.

FOOL. I marvel what kin thou and thy daughters are: they'll have me whipped for speaking true, thou 'lt have me whipped for lying; and sometimes I am whipped for holding my peace. I had rather be any kind o' thing than a fool: and yet I would not be thee, nuncle; thou hast pared thy wit o' both sides, and left nothing i' the middle :-here comes one o' the parings.

Enter GONERIL

173

LEAR. How now, daughter! what makes that frontlet on? Methinks you are too much of late i' the frown.

FOOL. Thou wast a pretty fellow when thou hadst no need to care for her frowning; now thou art an O without a figure: I am better than thou art now; I am a fool, thou art nothing.— Yes, forsooth, I will hold my tongue; so your face [to GoN.] bids me, though you say nothing. Mum, mum,

He that keeps nor crust nor crum,
Weary of all, shall want some.-

That's a shealed peascod.

GON. Not only, sir, this your all-licens'd fool,
But other of your insolent retinue

Do hourly carp and quarrel; breaking forth

In rank and not-to-be-endurèd riots. Sir,

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[Pointing to LEAR.

I had thought, by making this well known unto you,
To have found a safe redress; but now grow fearful,
By what yourself too late have spoke and done,
That you protect this course, and put it on

By your allowance; which if you should, the fault
Would not scape censure, nor the redresses sleep,
Which, in the tender of a wholesome weal,
Might in their working do you that offence,
Which else were shame, that then necessity
Will call discreet proceeding.

FOOL. For, you know, nuncle,

The hedge-sparrow fed the cuckoo so long,
That it had its head bit off by its young.

So, out went the candle, and we were left darkling.
LEAR. Are you our daughter?

GON. I would you would make use of your good wisdom,
Whereof I know you are fraught; and put away

These dispositions, which of late transport you

From what you rightly are.

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200

FOOL. May not an ass know when the cart draws the horse?— Whoop, Jug! I love thee.

LEAR. Does any here know me?—This is not Lear:
Does Lear walk thus? speak thus? Where are his eyes?
Either his notion weakens, his discernings

Are lethargied-Ha! waking? 'tis not so.-
Who is it that can tell me who I am?—
FOOL. Lear's shadow.

LEAR. I would learn that; for, by the marks of sovereignty,
Knowledge, and reason,

I should be false persuaded I had daughters.
FOOL. Which they will make an obedient father.
LEAR. Your name, fair gentlewoman?

GON. This admiration, sir, is much o' the favour
Of other your new pranks. I do beseech you
To understand my purposes aright :

As you are old and reverend, should be wise.
Here do you keep a hundred knights and squires;
Men so disorder'd, so debosh'd, and bold,

That this our court, infected with their manners,
Shows like a riotous inn: epicurism and lust
Make it more like a tavern or a brothel

Than a grac'd palace. The shame itself doth speak
For instant remedy: be, then, desir'd

By her, that else will take the thing she begs,

A little to disquantity your train;

And the remainder, that shall still depend,
To be such men as may besort your age,
Which know themselves and you.

LEAR.

Darkness and devils!

Saddle my horses; call my train together.-
Degenerate bastard! I'll not trouble thee:
Yet have I left a daughter.

GON. You strike my people; and your disorder'd rabble
Make servants of their betters.

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220

230

240

Enter ALBANY

LEAR. Woe, that too late repents,-[to ALB.] O, sir, are you

come?

Is it your will? Speak, sir.-Prepare my horses.

Ingratitude, thou marble-hearted fiend,

More hideous when thou show'st thee in a child

Than the sea-monster!

ALB.

Pray, sir, be patient.

[To GONERIL.

LEAR. Detested kite! thou liest:

My train are men of choice and rarest parts,
That all particulars of duty know,
And in the most exact regard support

The worships of their name.-O most small fault,
How ugly didst thou in Cordelia show!

250

[Striking his head.

Which, like an engine, wrench'd my frame of nature
From the fix'd place; drew from my heart all love,
And added to the gall. O Lear, Lear, Lear!
Beat at this gate, that let thy folly in,
And thy dear judgment out!-Go, go, my people.
ALB. My lord, I am guiltless, as I am ignorant
Of what hath mov'd you.
LEAR.
It may be
Hear, nature, hear; dear goddess, hear!
so, my lord.-
Suspend thy purpose, if thou didst intend
To make this creature fruitful!

Into her womb convey sterility!
Dry up in her the organs of increase ;
And from her derogate body never spring
A babe to honour her! If she must teem,
Create her child of spleen; that it may live,
And be a thwart disnatur'd torment to her!
Let it stamp wrinkles in her brow of youth;
With cadent tears fret channels in her cheeks;
Turn all her mother's pains and benefits
To laughter and contempt; that she may feel
How sharper than a serpent's tooth it is
To have a thankless child!-Away, away!

ALB. Now, gods that we adore, whereof comes this?
GON. Never afflict yourself to know more of it;
But let his disposition have that scope

As dotage gives it.

What's the matter, sir?

LEAR. I'll tell thee,-Life and death! I am asham'd

260

270

[Exit.

280

[To GONERIL.

That thou hast power to shake my manhood thus;
That these hot tears, which break from me perforce,
Should make thee worth them.-Blasts and fogs upon thee!
The untented woundings of a father's curse
Pierce every sense about thee!-Old fond eyes,
Beweep this cause again, I'll pluck you out,
And cast you, with the waters that you lose,
To temper clay.-Ha!

Let it be so I have another daughter,
Who, I am sure, is kind and comfortable:

290

When she shall hear this of thee, with her nails
She'll flay thy wolvish visage. Thou shalt find
That I'll resume the shape which thou dost think
I have cast off for ever.

GON. Do you mark that?

[Exeunt LEAR, KENT, and Attendants.

ALB. I cannot be so partial, Goneril,

To the great love I bear you,—

GON. Pray you, content.-What, Oswald, ho!—
You, sir, more knave than fool, after your master.

299

[To the Fool.

FOOL. Nuncle Lear, nuncle Lear, tarry,-take the fool with

thee.

A fox, when one has caught her,
And such a daughter,

Should sure to the slaughter,

If my cap would buy a halter:

So the fool follows after.

GON. This man hath had good counsel :—a hundred knights!
'Tis politic and safe to let him keep

At point a hundred knights: yes, that, on every dream,
Each buzz, each fancy, each complaint, dislike,
He may enguard his dotage with their powers,
And hold our lives in mercy.-Oswald, I say!—
ALB. Well, you may fear too far.
GON.

Safer than trust too far:

Let me still take away the harms I fear,
Not fear still to be taken: I know his heart.
What he hath utter'd I have writ my sister:
If she sustain him and his hundred knights,
When I have show'd the unfitness,-

Re-enter OsWALD

[Exit.

310

How now, Oswald !

320

What, have you writ that letter to my sister?

Osw. Ay, madam.

GON. Take you some company, and away to horse:
Inform her full of my particular fear;

And thereto add such reasons of your own

As may compact it more.

And hasten your return.

Get you gone;

[Exit OSWALD.] No, no, my lord,

This milky gentleness and course of

yours

Though I condemn not, yet, under pardon,
You are much more attask'd for want of wisdom
Than prais'd for harmful mildness.

ALB. How far your eyes may pierce I cannot tell :
Striving to better, oft we mar what's well.

330