discover a vaft Difparity between the two Cafes. For though it be allowed for Ladies, and their Gentlewomen, to divert each other in private with felling Bargains; yet certain good Reafons might be affigned, why it is not altogether fo proper for the Gentlewomen to use the fame Freedom with their Footmen.

As it is no Difparagement to the Court Ladies, that at a convenient Distance of Time their Fafhions of Apparel are aukwardly imitated by the Wives and Daughters of the Yeomanry; fo neither is it a Diminution to the Top-Poets, whom I have here quoted, that their favourite Way of Wit fhould, after a Sort, be drawn into Example by MerryAndrew and Punch upon their refpective Stages.

I will not fuppose my Reader ignorant that there is fuch a Thing as a practical Jeft, or jeu de Theatre; Moliere and Mr. Shadwell can furnish him with Plenty of them. It is therefore no Wonder, that among the reft there fhould be fuch a Thing as a practical Bargain, not expreffed in Words, but implied in Action or Dumb fhew. Let us fuppofe, if you please, that a Captain Tom of the Rabble, in leading up his Troops to demolish fome Houfe of ill Fame, fhould artfully contrive at the Head of the Myrmidons to crack the String of his Breeches; or fuppofe, that an Admiral at Sea fhould anfwer a neighbourly Salute with a fingle Gun from his Poop; it must be acknowledged, upon impartial Confideration, that in either of these Cafes there is a Bargain fold indirectly, or by Implication.

After this Manner did a pleafant Monarch fell a practical Bargain to all and every the Orders of Knighthood, when he inlifted among them a Sirloin of Beef, and when he conferred the fame Title of Honour upon a Sir-reverence: Not to mention fome equally

equally deferving Inftances of Knigthood of a much later Date.

In like Manner, the Loyal City of London implicitly fold a Bargain to the Remains of the Long Parliament, by their triumphant Ceremony of roafting Rumps; which will be perpetuated, to their immortal Memory, not only by the ingenious Cut lately prepared to embellish the new Edition of Hudibras, but byI will not farther explain myself, left I fhould be thought to give a Handle for restraining the Liberty of the Prefs. It muft indeed be owned, that the Par liament itself inadvertently paved the Way for this Jeft, by causing their Coin to be dreffed out, as an ingenious Writer speaks, in a monstrous Pair of Breeches.

Chaucer has given us an Account in his Sompnour's Tale of a remarkable Legacy delivered by a Bedridden Man into the Hand of a Friar, having firft fworn him to divide it equally amongst the Brethren of the Convent. Upon the Receipt of it, the good Father puts himself in a violent Paffion, calls the Fellow a Churl, complains of a Defpite, and is exceedingly grieved that he has undertaken upon Oath,

To part it, that wolle not departid be.

But as he no where complains of the Farmer for having fold him a Bargain, fo I do not mention the Tranfaction as fuch, but only to obferve to my English Reader how early this Part of the Nation was difpofed to comply with the Practice, whenever it fhould happen to be introduced.

It is fometimes feen, that a Perfon whose Genius does not much incline him that Way, fhall acci-. dentally blunder upon a Jeft, or deviate into a Pun; and therefore it is no fuch great Wonder, that a serious Matron of the City (hould unwittingly fell a Bargain

in a Letter to her Relation in the Country. The most confiderable Piece of Intelligence in the whole Epiftle was, to acquaint her Kinfwoman how she had lately got rid of a violent Cold and Pain in her Head; and being of a communicative Difpofition, and willing that others might receive the fame Benefit by the fame Means, fhe proceeded to relate, that the Cure was performed by ftopping her Ears with BlackWool. But as it fell out, that she was not fo exactly correct in Orthography as fome of her Neighbours, when she came to write the poor Monofyllable Ears, she made a moft unaccountable Tranfpofition, by removing the first Letter of the Word clear away from the Beginning to the End of it. I could never learn, with any Degree of Certainty, what was the Iffue of this Advice; but in cafe it were addreffed to one better verfed in Spelling, and of fome credit in the Profeffions of Phyfick and Surgery, it might produce an extraordinary Experiment, by fetting every Body in his Turn upon mifapplying the prescribed Remedy to a wrong Part, and fo propagate the Bargain throughout the whole Parish.

I shall now conclude this Differtation by doing Justice to the Memory of Hugh Peters, whom I must declare to have been the greatest Proficient in the Mystery of felling practical Bargains of all who have hitherto fallen under my Obfervation, except ONE; whom I fhall not be at Liberty to mention till the End of this Seffion. It is reported of this wonderful Man, that he undertook upon a Wager to hold forth from his Pulpit in fuch a Manner, as to cause one Moiety of his Congregátion to weep devoutly, whilst he threw the other into a hearty Fit of Laughter. This difficult Attempt he fuccefsfully accomplished by appearing to thofe who faw his Face in the Garb and folemn Grimace of a Puritanical Preacher, and at the fame Time to those who viewed him behind in the Difbabille of a Heathen Philofopher.

POST SCRIPT.

HE Publick will, I doubt not, obferve, that

TH

I have taken the utmoft Care to avoid the leaft Imputation of fomenting or encouraging our unhappy Animofities, by not touching on the Subject of Political Bargains, and have the Juftice to acknow ledge, that it could proceed from nothing but a predominant Love of my Country; fince it cannot be denied, that the prefent Conjuncture would fupply me with Inftances enough of this Nature, particularly that of a certain famous Bargain which One great *Potentate pretends to have bought of another; but I chufe to refer this important Affair to be difcuffed in a more folemn Manner, and by Perfons who are better able than myself to determine in what Senfe either This or any other Bargain of State may be properly faid to be Bought or Sold by the respective Powers concerned.

A SERMON preached to the People at the Mercat Cross of Edinburgh, on the Subject of the UNION in 1706, while the A& for Uniting the Two Kingdoms was depending before the Parliament there.

With a PREFACE by the Editor, Setting forth the Advantages which have, in Fact, accrued to the Kingdom of Scotland by its Union with England.

O fortunatos nimiùm, fua fi bona nôrint. Virg.

PREFACE.

THE following little Piece was printed at Edinburgh in the Year 1706, while the Act for the Union of the Two Kingdoms was depending before the Parliament there. The Author feems to have been thoroughly acquainted with the Intereft of his native Country: A Vein alfo of good Sense runs through the Whole. It is therefore hoped, that the Reprinting of it may be of fome Service now to undeceive thofe hoVOL. II.

H

neft