as rapidly as poffible through the remaining viciffitudes of my life. When I first began to be in want of money, I made no doubt of an immediate fupply. The news-papers were perpetually offering directions to men, who feemed to have no other bufinefs than to gather heaps of gold for those who place their fupreme felicity in fcattering it. I pofted away, therefore, to one of thefe advertisers, who by his propofals feemed to deal in thoufands; and was not a little chagrined to find, that this general benefactor would have nothing to do with any larger fum than thirty pounds, nor would venture that without a joint note from myself and a reputable house-keeper, or for a longer time than three months. It was not yet so bad with me, as that I needed to follicit furety for thirty pounds: yet, partly from the greedinefs that extravagance always produces, and partly from a defire of feeing the humour of a petty ufurer, a character of which I had hitherto lived in ignorance, I condefcended to listen to his terms. He proceeded to inform me of my great felicity in not falling into the hands of an extortioner; and affured me that I fhould find him extremely moderate in his demands: he was not, indeed, certain that he could furnish me with the whole fum, for people were at this ticular time extremely preffing and importunate for money; yet as I had the appearance of a gentleman, he would try what he could do, and give me his anfwer in three days. par At the expiration of the time, I called upon him again; and was again informed of the great demand for money, and that money was money now:' he then advised me to be punctual in my payment, as that might induce him to befriend me hereafter; and delivered me the money, deducting at the rate of five and thirty per cent. with another panegyric upon his own moderation. I will not tire you with the various practices of ufurious oppreffion; but cannot omit my tranfaction with Squeeze on Tower Hill, who finding me a young man of confiderable expectations, employed an agent to perfuade me to borrow five hundred pounds, to be refunded by an annual payment of twenty per cent. during the joint lives of his daughter Nancy Squeeze and myself. The negociator came prepared to inforce his propofal with all his art; but finding that I caught his offer with the eagerness of neceffity, he grew cold and languid: he had mentioned it out of kindness; he would try to ferve me; Mr. Squeeze was an honest man, but extremely cautious. In three days he came to tell me that his endeavours had been ineffec tual, Mr. Squeeze having no good opinion of my life: but that there was one expedient remaining; Mrs. Squeeze could influence her husband, and her good will might be gained by a compliment. I waited that afternoon on Mrs. Squeeze, and poured out before her the flatteries which usually gain access to rank and beauty: I did not then know, that there are places in which the only compliment is a bribe. Having yet credit with a jeweller, I afterwards procured a ring of thirty guineas, which I humbly prefented, and was foon admitted to a trea ty with Mr.Squeeze. He appeared peevith and backward, and my old friend whispered me, that he would never make a dry bargain: I, therefore, invited him to a tavern. Nine times we met on the affair; nine times I paid four pounds for the fupper and claret; and nine guineas I gave the agent for good offices. I then obtained the money, paying ten per cent. advance; and at the tenth meeting gave another fupper, and difburfed fifteen pounds for the writings. Others, who ftiled themselves brokers, would only truft their money upon goods: that I might, therefore, try every art of expenfive folly, I took a houfe and furnished it. I amufed myself with defpoiling my moveables of their gloffy appearance, for fear of alarming the fender with fufpicions; and in this I fucceeded fo well, that he favoured me with one hundred and fixty pounds upon that which was rated at feven hundred. I then found that I was to maintain a guardian about me, to prevent the goods from being broken or removed. This was, indeed, an unexpected tax; but it was too late to recede; and I comforted myself, that I might prevent a creditor, of whom I had fome apprehenfions, from feizing, by having a prior execution always in the house. By fuch means I had fo embarrassed myfelf, that my whole attention was engaged in contriving excufes, and railing fmall fums to quiet fuch as words would no longer mollify. It coft me eighty pounds in prefents to Mr. Leech the at torney, torney, for his forbearance of one hundred, which he follicited me to take when I had no need. I was perpetually harraffed with importunate demands, and infulted by wretches who a few months before would not have dared to raise their eyes from the duft before me. I lived in continual terror, frighted by every noise at the door, and terrified at the approach of every step quicker than common. I never retired to reft without feeling the juftnefs of the Spanish proverb- Let hip who fleeps toomuch, borrow the pillow of a debtor: my follicitude and vexation kept me long waking; and when I had clofed my eyes, I was pursued or infulted by vifionary bailiffs. When I reflected upon the meannefs of the fhifts I had reduced myfelf to, I could not but curfe the folly and extravagance that had overwhelmed me in a fea of troubles, from which it was highly improbable that I should ever emerge. I had fome time lived in hopes of an eftate at the death of my uncle; but he difappointed me by marrying his housekeeper; and catching an opportunity foon after of quarrelling with me, for fettling twenty pounds a year upon a girl whom I had feduced, told me that he would take care to prevent his fortune from being fquandered upon prostitutes. Nothing now remained but the chance of extricating myself by marriage; a fcheme which, I flattered myself, nothing but my prefent diftrefs would have made me think on with patience. I determined, therefore, to look out for a tender novice, with a large fortune at her own difpofal; and accordingly fixed my eyes upon Mifs Biddy Simper. I had now paid her fix or feven vifies; and fo fully convinced her of my being a gentleman and a rake, that I made no doubt that both her perfon and fortune would be foon mine. At this critical time, Mifs Gripe called upon me, in a chariot bought with my money, and loaded with trinkets that I had in my days of affluence lavished upon her. Those days were now over, and there was little hope that they would ever return. She was not able to withstand the temptation of ten pounds that Talon the bailiff offered her, but brought him into my apartment difguifed in a livery; and taking my fword to the window, under pretence of admiring the workmanship, beckoned him to feize me. Delay would have been expensive without use, as the debt was too confi. derable for payment or bail: I, there fore, fuffered myself to be immediately conducted to gaol. Veftibulum ante ipfum primifque in faucibus orci, Luctus et ultrices posuere cubilia cura: Pallentefque babitant morbi, triftifque fene&tus, Et metus, et malefuada fames, et turpis egefas. VIRG. Juft in the gate, and in the jaws of hell. Confinement of any kind is dreadful; a prifon is fometimes able to shock thofe who endure it in a good caufe: let your imagination, therefore, acquaint you with what I have not words to exprefs; and conceive, if poffible, the horrors of imprisonment attended with reproach and ignominy, of involuntary affociation with the refuse of mankind, with wretches who were before too abandoned for fociety, but being now freed from fhame or fear, are hourly improving their vices by conforting with each other. There are, however, a few whom, like myfelf, imprisonment has rather mortified than hardened: with these only I converfe; and of these you may perhaps hereafter receive fome account from T Your humble Servant, MYSARGYRUS. N° XLII. N° XLII. SATURDAY, MARCH 31, 1753 -SUA CUIQUE DEUS FIT DIRA CUPIDO. VIRG. OUR LUSTS ARE GODS, AND WHAT THEY WILL IS FATE. Had the misfortune, fome time ago, to be in company where a gentleman, who has the honour to be a principal speaker at a disputing fociety of the firft clafs, was expected. Till this perfon came in, the converfation was carried on with the chearful eafy negligence of fenfible good-humour: but we foon difcovered, that his difcourfe was a perpetual effort to betray the company into attempts to prove felf-evident propofitions; a practice in which he seems to have followed the example of that deep philofopher, who denied motion, becaufe,' as he said, 'a body must move ' either where it is, or where it is not; ' and both fuppofitions are equally ab' furd.' His attempt, however, was totally unfuccefsful; till at last he affirmed, that a man had no more power over his own actions than a clock; and that the notions of the human machine were determined by irrefiftible propenfities, as a clock is kept going by a weight. This propofition was answered with a loud laugh; every one treated it as an abfurdity which it was impoffible to believe; and to expose him to the ridicule of the company, he was defired to prove what he had advanced, as a fit punishment of his defign to engage others to prove the contrary, which, though for a different reafon, was yet equally ridiculous. After a long harangue, in which he retailed all the fophiftry that he remembered, and much more than he understood, he had the mortification to find, that he had made no profelyte, nor was yet become of fufficient confequence to provoke an antagonist. I fat filent; and as I was indulging my fpeculations on the fcene which chance had exhibited before me, I recollected feveral incidents which convinced me, that most of the perfons who were prefent had lately profeffed the opinion which they now oppofed; and acted upon that very principle which they derided as abfurd, and appeared to detest as impious. The company consisted of Mr.Traffic, a wealthy merchant; Mr. Courtly, a commiffioner of a public office; Mr. Gay, a gentleman in whofe converfation there is a higher strain of pleasantry and humour, than in any other person of my acquaintance; and Myrtilla, the wife of our friend at whofe houfe we were affembled to dine, and who during this interval was engaged by fome unexpected bufinefs in another room. Thofe incidents which I then recollected, I will now relate: nor can any of the perfons whom I have thus ventured to name, be justly offended; because that which is declared not to be the effect of choice, cannot be confidered as the object of cenfure. With Mr. Traffic I had contracted an intimacy in our younger days, which, notwithstanding the difparity of our fortune, has continued till now. We had both been long acquainted with a gentleman, who, though his extenfive trade had contributed to enrich his country, was himself by sudden and inevitable loffes become poor: his credit, however, was still good; and by the rifque of a certain fum, it was still poffible to retrieve his fortune. With this gentleman we had spent many a focial hour; we had habitually drank his health when he was abfent, and always expreffed our fentiments of his merit in the highest terms. In this exigency, therefore, he applied to me, and communicated the fecret of his diftrefs; a fecret, which is always concealed by a generous mind till it is extorted by torture that can no longer be borne: he knew iny circumstances too well, to expect the fum that he wanted from my purfe; but he requested that I would, to fave him from the pain and confufion of fuch a converfation, communicate his requeft, and a true ftate of his affairs, to Mr. Traffic: For,' fays he, though I could raife double the fum upon my own perfonal fecurity, yet I would no more borrow of a man without acquainting him at what rifque he lends, than I would follicit the in< furance furance of a fhip at a common premium, when I knew, by private intelligence, that she could fwim no longer than every pump was at work.' I undertook this bufinefs with the utmoft confidence of fuccefs. Mr. Traffic heard the account of our friend's misfortunes with great appearance of concern; he warmly commended his integrity, and lamented the precarious fituation of a trader, whom œconomy and diligence cannot fecure from calamities, which are brought upon others only by profufion and riot: but as to the money, he said, that I COULD NOT expect him to venture it without fecurity; that my friend himself COULD NOT wonder that his request was refufed; A requeft with which indeed,' faid he, I CANNOT POSSIBLY comply. Whatever may be thought of the free agency of myself and my friend which Mr. Traffic had made no fcruple to deny in a very interefting particular, I believe every one will readily admit, that Mr. Traffic was neither free in fpeculation nor fact: for he can be little better than a machine actuated by avarice, who had not power to spare one thousand pounds from two hundred times the fum, to prevent the immediate ruin of a man, in whofe behalf he had been fo often liberal of praife, with whom his focial enjoyments had been fo long connected, and for whofe misfortunes he was fenfibly touched. Soon after this difappointment, my unhappy friend became a bankrupt, and applied to me once more, to follicit Mr. Courtly for a place in his office. By Mr. Courtly I was received with great friendship; he was much affected with the diftreffes of my friend; he generoutly gave me a bank-note, which he requefted me to apply to his immediate relief in fuch a manner as would leaft wound his delicacy; and promifed that the first vacancy he fhould be provided for: but when the vacancy happened, of which I had the earliest intelligence, he told me, with evident compunction and diftrefs, that he COULD NOT POSSIBLY fulfil his promife, for that a very great man had recommended one of his domeftics, whofe follicitation for that reason it was NOT IN HIS POWER to refufe. This gentleman, therefore, had alfo profeffed himfelf a machine; and, indeed, he appears to have been no lefs the inftrument of ambition, than Mr. Traffic of avarice. Mr. Gay, the wit, befides that he has very much the air of a free agent, is a man of deep penetration, great delicacy, and strong compaffion: but in direct op→ pofition to all thefe great and good qua lities, he is continually entangled in difficulties, and precipitated not only into indecency and unkindness, but impiety, by his love of ridicule. I remembered, that I had lately expoftulated with him about this ftrange perverfion of his abili ties in thefe terms: Dear Charles, it amazes me that you should rather affect the character of a merry fellow, than a wife man; that you should mortify a friend, whom you not only love but esteem; wantonly mangle a character which you reverence; betray a fecret, violate truth, and sport with the doctrines and the practice of a religion which you believe, merely for the pleasure of being laughed at.' I remember too, that when he had heard me out, he shrugged up his fhoulders, and greatly extending the longitudinal dimenfions of his countenance- All this,' faid he, is very true; but if I was to be hanged I COULD NOT HELP IT.' Here was another declaration in favour of fatality. Poor Gay profeffes himself a flave rather to vanity than to vice, and patiently fubmits to the most ridiculous drudgery without one struggle for freedom. Of the lady I am unwilling to fpeak with equal plainnefs; but I hope Myrtilla will allow me to plead an IRRESISTIBLE IMPULSE, when the reflects that I have heard her lament that she is herself urged by an IRRESISTIBLE IMPULSE TO PLAY. I remembered, that I had, at the request of my friend, taken an opportunity when we were alone, indirectly to reprefent the pernicious confequences of indulging fo prepofterous an inclination. She perceived my defign; and immediately accufed herself with an honeft fenfibility that burst into tears: but at the fame time told me, that he was NO MORE ABLE to refrain from CARDS than to FLY: and a few nights afterwards I obferved her chairmen waiting at the door of a great lady, who feldom fees company but on a Sunday, and then has always the happiness of engaging a brilliant affembly at cards. After I had recollected thefe incidents, I looked with lefs contempt upon our Neceflitarian; and, to confefs a truth, with lefs efteem upon his prefent oppo nents. 0 hents. I took for granted, that this gentleman's opinion proceeded from a confcioufnefs, that he was himfelt the flave of fome or all of thefe vices and follies; and that he was prompted by fomething like benevolence, to communicate to others a difcovery by which alone he had been able to quiet his own mind, and to regard himself rather as an object of pity than contempt. And indeed no man, without great incongruity, can affirm that he has powers which he does not exert, when to exert them is evidently his highest intereft; nor fhould he be permitted to arrogate the dignity of a free agent, who has once profeffed himself to be the mere inftrument of neceffity. While I was making these reflections, the husband of Myrtilla came in; and to atone for any difhonour which custom or prejudice may fuppofe to be reflected SIR, upon him by the unhappy FATALITY of his wife, I fhall refer to him as an incon teftible proof, that though there are fome who have fold themselves to do evil, and become the bondmen of iniquity, yet there are others who preferve the birthright of beings that are placed but a lit tle lower than the angels; and who may without reproach deny the doctrine of neceflity, by which they are degraded to an equality with brutes that perish. I acknowledge, indeed, that my friend has motives from which he acts; but his motives receive their force from reafon illuminated by Revelation, and confcience invigorated by hope. I acknowledge too, that he is under fubjection to a mafter; but let it be remembered, that it is to Him only, 'whofe fervice is perfect free'dom.' N° XLIII. TUESDAY, APRIL 3, 1753. MOBILITATE VIGET IT'S LIFE IS MOTION. TO THE ADVENTURER. MARCH 12, 1753. HE adulteration of the copper Then, as it is highly pernicious to trade in general, fo it more immediately affects the itinerate branches of it. Among thefe, at prefent, are to be found the only circulators of bafe metal; and, perhaps, the only dealers who are obliged to take in payment fuch counterfeits as will find a currency no where elfe and yet they are not allowed to raise the price of their commodities, though they are abridged of fo confiderable a portion of their profits. A Tyburn execution, a duel, a most terrible fire, or a horrid, barbarous, bloody, cruel and inhuman murder, was wont to bring in vaft revenues to the lower clafs of pamphleteers, who get their livelihood by vending thefe diurnal records publicly in the streets: but fince half-pence have been valued at no more than five-pence the pound weight, thefe occafional pieces will hardly answer the expences of printing and paper; and the fervant maid, who used to indulge her tafte for polite literature, by purchafing fifty new play-houfe fongs, or a whole poetical sheet of the Yorkshire garland or Gloucestershire tragedy, for a half But the greatest fufferers are undoubte edly the numerous fraternity of beggars; for, as things are circumflanced, it would be almost as profitable to work as to beg, were it not that many more are now induced to deal out their charity in what is of no other ufe to themselves, in the hope of receiving seven-fold in return. Indeed, fince the ufual donation has been fo much leened in it's value, the beg gars have been obferved to be more vociferous and importunate. One of thefe orators, who takes his stand at Spring Gardens, now enforces his piteous complaint, with Good Chriftians, one GOOD half-penny to the flone blind;' and another, who tells you he has lost the ufe of his precious limbs, addreffes your compaflion by thewing a bad half-penP ny, |