Val. No more, unless the next Word that thou speak'st Pro. Ceafe to lament for that thou canst not help, Val. I pray thee Launce, and if thou feeft my Boy, Bid him make hafte, and meet me at the North-Gate. Pro. Go Sirrah, find him out: Come Valentine. Val. O my dear Silvia! hapless Valentine! [Exeunt. Laun. I am but a Fool, look you, and yet I have the Wit to think my Mafter is a kind of a Knave: But that's all one, if he be but one Knave. He lives not now that knows me to be in love, yet I am in love; but a Teem of Horse shall not pluck that from me, nor who 'tis I love, and yet 'tis a Woman; but what Woman I will not tell my felf; and yet 'tis a Milk-maid; yet 'tis not a Maid, for fhe hath had Goffips; yet 'tis a Maid, for she is her Master's Maid, and ferves for Wages: She hath more Qualities than a Water-Spaniel, which is much in a bare Chriftian. Here is theCate-log [Pulling out a Paper] of her Conditions; Imprimis, She can fetch and carry; why a Horfe can do no more, nay a Horse cannot fetch, but only carry; therefore is the better than a Jade. Item, the can milk; look you, a fweet Virtue in a Maid with clean Hands. Enter Enter Speed. Speed. How now Signior Launce? What News with your Mastership? Laun. With my Mastership? Why, it is at Sea. Speed. Well, your old Vice ftill; miftake the Word: What News then in your Paper? Laun. The blackeft News that ever thou heard'ft. Speed. Why Man, how black? Laun. Why, as black as Ink. Laun. Fie on thee, Jolthead, thou canst not read. Laun. I will try thee; tell me this, who begot thee? Laun. O illiterate Loiterer, it was the Son of thy Laun. Ay, that she can. Speed. Item, fhe brews good Ale. Laun. And therefore comes the Proverb, Blessing of your Heart, you brew good Ale. Speed. Item, the can fowe. Laun. That's as much as to fay, Can she so? Speed. Item, he can knit. Laun. What need a Man care for a Stock with a Wench, When she can knit him a Stock? Speed. Item, fhe can wash and scour. Laun. A fpecial Virtue, for then the need not to be wash'd and fcour'd. Speed. Item, fhe can spin. Laun. Then may I fet the World on Wheels, when the can spin for her living. Speed. Item, the hath many nameless Virtues. Laun. That's as much as to fay Baftard Virtues, that indeed know not their Fathers, and therefore have no Names. Speed. Here follow her Vices. Laun. Clofe at the Heels of her Virtues. Speed. Item, he is not to be kift fafting, in refpect of her Breath. Laun. Well, that Fault may be mended with a Breakfast: Read on. Speed. Item, the hath a fweet Mouth. Laun. That makes amends for her four Breath. Speed. Item, the doth talk in, her Sleep. Laun. It's no matter for that, fo fhe fleep not in her Talk. Laun. Oh Villain! that fet down among her Vices.! Laun. Out with that too: It was Eve's Legacy, and cannot be ta'en from her. Laun. I care not for that neither, because I love Crufts. Speed. Item, fhe is curst. Laun. Well, the best is the hath no Teeth to bite. Speed. Item, he will often praife her Liquor. Laun. If her Liquor be good, the hall; if the will not I will, for good things should be praised. Speed. Item, fhe is too liberal. Laun. Of her Tongue he cannot, for that's writ down fhe is flow of; of her Purfe fhe fhall not, for that I'll keep fhut; now of another thing the may, and that cannot Ï help. Well, proceed, Speed. Item, fhe hath more Hairs than Wit,, and more Faults than Hairs, and more Wealth than Faults. Laun. Stop there; I'll have her; he was mine, and not mine, twice or thrice in that Article. Rehearse that once more. Speed. Item, the hath more Hair than Wit. Laun. More Hair than Wit; it may be I'll prove it:. The Cover of the Salt hides the Salt, and therefore it is, more than the Salt; the Hair that covers the Wit is more than the Wit; for the greater hides the lefs. What's next? Speed. And more Faults than Hairs. Laun. That's monftrous: Oh that that were out, Speed. And more Wealth, than Faults. Laun. Why that Word makes the Faults gracious: Well, I'll have her; and if it be a Match, as nothing is impoffible Speed. Speed. What then? Laun. Why then will I tell thee, that thy Master stays for thee at the North-Gate. Speed. For me? Laun. For thee? ay; who art thou? He hath ftaid for a better Man than thee. Speed. And muft I go to him? Laun. Thou muft run to him; for thou hast staid fo long that going will fcarce ferve the turn. Speed. Why didft not tell me fooner? Pox on your LoveLetters. Laun. Now will he be fwing'd for reading my Letter: An unmannerly Slave, that will thruft himfelf into Secrets. I'll after, to rejoice in the Boy's Correction. SCENE II. Enter Duke and Thurio. [Exeunt. Duke. Sir Thurio, fear not, but that the will love you, Now Valentine is banish'd from her Sight. Thu. Since his Exile fhe hath defpis'd me most, Duke. This weak Imprefs of Love, is as a Figure Enter Protheus. How now, Sir Protheus; is your Countryman, Duke. My Daughter takes his going heavily. Pro. Longer than I prove loyal to your Grace, Duke. Thou know'ft how willingly I would effect The The Match between Sir Thurio and my Daughter. Duke. And alfo I do think thou art not ignorant Pro. She did, my Lord, when Valentine was here, Therefore it muft with Circumftance be spoken Duke. Then you must undertake to flander him. Pro. And that, my Lord, I fhall be loath to do; 'Tis an ill Office for a Gentleman, Efpecially against his very Friend. Duke. Where your good Word cannot advantage him, Your Slander never can endamage him; Therefore the Office is indifferent, Being intreated to it by your Friend. Pro. You have prevail'd, my Lord; If I can do it, Thu. Therefore as you unwind her Love from him, You must provide to bottom it on me : Which must be done, by praifing me as much As you in Worth difpraife Sir Valentine. Duke. And, Protheus, we dare truft you in this kind, Because we know, on Valentine's Report, You are already Love's firm Votary, And cannot foon revolt and change your Mind. you; Where |