Gods have hot Backs, what fhall poor Men do? For me, I am here a Windfor Stag, and the fatteft I think, i'th' Forreft. Send me a cool Rut-time, Jove, or who can blame me to pifs my Tallow? Who comes here? my Doe? Enter Mistress Ford and Mistress Page.

Mrs. Ford. Sir John? Art thou there, my Deer? My Male-Deer?

Fal. My Doe with the black Scut? Let the Sky rain Potatoes, let it thunder to the Tune of Green-Sleeves, hail kiffing-Comfits, and fnow Eringoes, let there come a Tempeft of Provocation, I will shelter me here.

Mrs. Ford. Miftrefs Page is come with me, fweet Heart. Fal, Divide me like a brib'd Buck, each a Haunch, I will keep my Sides to my felf, my Shoulders for the Fellow of this Walk, and my Horns I bequeath your Husbands. Am I a Woodman, ha? Speak I like the Herne the Hunter? Why, now is Cupid a Child of Confcience, he makes Reftitution. As I am a true Spirit, welcome. [Noife within. Mrs. Page. Alas! what Noife?

Mrs. Ford. Heav'n forgive our Sins.

Fal. What should this be?

Mrs. Ford. Mrs. Page. Away, away.[The Women run out. Fal. I think the Devil will not have me damn'd, Left the Qil that is in me fhould fet Hell on Fire; He would never elfe crofs me thus.

Enter Fairies.

Quic. Fairies, black, gray, green, and white, You Moon-fhine Revellers, and Shades of Night, You Orphan-Heirs of fixed Destiny,

Attend your Office, and your Quality.

Crier Hobgoblin, make the Fairy O-yes.

Pift. Elves, lift your Names; filence, you airy Toys, Cricket, to Windfor Chimneys fhalt thou leap:

Where Fires thou find ft unrak'd, and Hearths unfwept,
There pinch the Maids as blew as Bilbery.
Our radiant Queen hates Sluts and Sluttery.

Fal. They are Fairies, he that fpeaks to them fhall die. I'll wink and couch; no Man their Works muft eye.

[Lyes down upon his Face.

Eva. Where's Bede? Go you, and where you find a Maid That e'er fhe fleep has thrice her Prayers faid,

Raife up the Organs of her Fantafie,

Sleep fhe as found as carelefs Infancy;

But those that fleep and think not on their Sins,

Pinch them, Arms, Legs, Backs, Shoulders, Sides and Shins. Quic. About, about;

Search Windfor Caftle, Elves, within and out.

Strew good Luck, Ouphes, on every facred Room,
That it may stand 'till the perpetual Doom,
In State as wholefom, as in State 'tis fit,
Worthy the Owner, and the Owner it.
The feveral Chairs of Order look you fcour,
With Juice of Balm and ev'ry precious Flow'r;
Each fair Inftalment, Coat, and fev❜ral Creft,
With loyal Blazon evermore be blest.

And nightly-medow-Fairies, look
you fing
Like to the Garter-compass in a Ring:
Th' Expreffure that it bears, Green let it be,
More fertile fresh than all the Field to fee;
And, Hony Soit Qui Mal-y-Penfe write

In Emrold-tuffs, Flowers, purple, blue and white,
Like Saphire-pearl, and rich Embroidery,
Buckled below fair Knight-hoods bending Knee;
Fairies ufe Flow'rs for their Charactery.
Away, difperfe; but 'till 'tis one a Clock
Our Dance of Cuftom round about the Oak
Of Herne the Hunter, let us not forget.

Eva. Pray you lock Hand in Hand, your felves in order fet; And twenty Glow-worms fhall our Lant-horns be

To guide our Meafure round about the Tree.

But ftay, I fmell a Man of middle Earth.

Fal. Heav'ns defend me from that Welch Fairy,

Left he transform me to a piece of Cheese.

Pift. Vild Worm, thou waft o'er-look'd even in thy Birth.

Quic. With Trial-fire touch his Finger end;

If he be Chafte, the Flame will back defcend
And turn him to no Pain; but if he start,

It is the Flesh of a corrupted Heart.

Pift. A Trial, come.

[They burn him with their Tapers, and pinch him. Eva. Come, will this Wood take fire?

Fal.

With Rounds of waxen Tapers on their Heads,
And Rattles in their Hands; upon a fudden,
As Falstaff, fhe, and I, are newly met,
Let them from forth a Saw-pit rush at once
With fome diffufed Song: Upon their fight
We two, in great Amazednefs, will fly;
Then let them all encircle him about,
And Fairy-like to pinch the unclean Knight;
And ask him why, that Hour of Fairy Revel,
In their fo facred Paths he dares to tread
In Shape prophane.

Mrs. Ford. And 'till he tell the Truth,
Let the fuppofed Fairies pinch him found,
And burn him with their Tapers.

Mrs. Page. The Truth being known,

We'll all present our felves; dif-horn the Spirit,
And mock him home to Windfor.

Ford. The Children must

Be practis'd well to this, or they'll ne'er do't.

Eva. I will teach the Children their Behaviours; and I will be like a Jack-a-napes alfo, to burn the Knight with my Taber.

I'll

Ford. That will be excellent.

go buy them Vizards.

Mrs. Page. My Nan fhall be the Queen of all the Fairies, finely attir'd in a Robe of white.

Page. That Silk would I go buy, and in that time
Shall Mr. Slender fteal my Nan away,

And marry her at Eaton. Go, fend to Falstaff straight.
Ford. Nay, I'll to him again in name of Broom;
He'll tell me all his Purpose. Sure he'll come.
Mrs. Page. Fear not you that; go get us Properties
And Tricking for your Fairies.

Eva. Let us about it,

It is admirable Pleasures, and ferry honeft Knaveries.

Mrs. Page. Go, Mrs. Ford,

[Exeunt Page, Ford and Evans.

Send quickly to Sir John, to know his Mind. [Ex. Mrs. Ford.
I'll to the Doctor, he hath my good Will,
And none but he to marry with Nan Page.
That Slender, tho' well landed, is an Ideot;
And he
my Husband beft of all affects:

The

The Doctor is well mony'd, and his Friends
Potent at Court; he, none but he fhall have her,
Tho' twenty thousand worthier came to crave her. [Exit.

SCENE V.

Enter Hoft and Simple.

Hoft. What wouldst thou have? Boor, what? Thickskin, fpeak, breathe, difcufs; brief, fhort, quick, fnap.

Simp. Marry, Sir, I come to fpeak with Sir John Falstaff, from Mr. Slender.

Hoft. There's his Chamber, his Houfe, his Castle, his Standing-bed and Truckle-bed; 'tis painted about with the Story of the Prodigal, fresh and new; go, knock and call; he'll fpeak like an Anthropophaginian unto thee: Knock, Í fay.

Simp. There's an old Woman, a fat Woman gone up into his Chamber; I'll be fo bold as ftay, Sir, 'till fhe come down; I come to speak with her indeed.

Hoft. Ha! a fat Woman? The Knight may be robb'd: I'll call. Bully-Knight! Bully-Sir John! fpeak from thy Lungs Military: Art thou there? It is thine Hoft, thine Ephefian calls.

Enter Falftaff.

Fal. How now, mine Hoft?

Hoft. Here's a Bohemian-Tartar tarries the coming down of thy fat Woman: Let her defcend, Bully, let her defcend; my Chambers are honourable. Fie, Privacy? Fie.

Fal. There was, mine Hoft, an old fat Woman even now with me, but he's gone.

Simp. Pray you, Sir, was't not the wife Woman of Brainford?

Fal. Ay marry was it, Muffel-fhell, what would you with her?

Simp. My Mafter, Sir, my Mafter Slender fent to her, feeing her go thro' the Street, to know, Sir, whether one Nym, Sir, that beguil'd him of a Chain, had the Chain,

or no.

Fal. I fpake with the old Woman about it.
Simp. And what fays the, I pray Sir?

Fal. Marry the fays, that the very fame Man that beguil'd Mafter Slender of his Chain, cozen'd him of it.

Simp. I would I could have fpoken with the Woman her felf, I had other things to have spoken with her too, from him.

Fal. What are they? Let us know.
Hoft. Ay, come; quick.

Simp. I may not conceal them, Sir.
Hoft. Conceal them, or thou dy'st.

Simp. Why, Sir, they were nothing but about Mistress Anne Page, to know if it were my Mafter's Fortune to have

her or no.

Fal. 'Tis, 'tis his Fortune.

Simp. What, Sir?

Fal. To have her, or no: Go; fay the Woman told me fo. Simp. May I be bold to fay fo, Sir?

Fal. Ay Sir; like who more bold..

Simp. I thank your Worship: I shall make my Master glad with thefe Tidings.

[Exit Simple. Hoft. Thou art clarkly; thou art clarkly, Sir John: Was there a wife Woman with thee?

Fal. Ay, that there was, mine Hoft, one that hath taught me more Wit than ever I learn'd before in my Life; and I paid nothing for it neither, but was paid for my learning.

Enter Bardolph.

Bard. Out alas, Sir, Cozenage; meer Cozenage.

Hoft. Where be my Horfes ? Speak well of them, Varletto.

Bard. Run away with the Cozeners; for fo foon as I came beyond Eaton, they threw me off from behind one of them in a Slough of Mire, and fet Spurs, and away; like three German Devils, three Doctor Fauftuffes.

Hoft. They are gone but to meet the Duke, Villain, do not fay they be fled; Germans are honest Men.

Enter Evans.

Eva. Where is mine Hoft?

Hoft. What is the Matter, Sir?

Eva. Have a care of your Entertainments; there is a Friend of mine come to Town,, tells me there is three Co

zen