Elb. If it pleafe your Honour, I am the poor Duke's Conftable, and my Name is Elbow; I do lean upon Justice, Sir, and do bring in here before your good Honour, two notorious Benefactors.

Ang. Benefactors? Well; what Benefactors are they? Are they not Malefactors?

Elb. If it please your Honour, I know not well what they are; but precife Villains they are, that I am fure of, and void of all Profanation in the World, that good Chriftians ought to have.

Efcal. This comes off well; here's a wife Officer.

Ang. Go to: What Quality are you of? Elbow is your Name?

Why doft thou not fpeak, Elbow?

Clown. He cannot, Sir; he's out at Elbow.
Ang. What are you, Sir?

Elb. He, Sir? A Tapfter, Sir; parcel Bawd; one that ferves a bad Woman; whofe Houfe, Sir, was, as they fay, pluckt down in the Suburbs; and now the profeffes a Hothouse; which, I think, is a very ill House too.

Efcal. How know you that?

Elb. My Wife, Sir, whom I deteft before Heav'n and your Honour.

Efcal. How? Thy Wife.

Elb. Ay, Sir; whom I thank Heav'n is an honeft Woman. Efcal. Doft thou deteft her therefore?

Elb. I fay, Sir, I will deteft my felf alfo, as well as fhe, that this House, if it be not a Bawd's House, it is pity of her Life, for it is a naughty House.

Efcal. How doft thou know that, Conftable?

Elb. Marry, Sir, by my Wife, who, if fhe had been a Woman cardinally given, might have been accused in Fornication, Adultery, and all Uncleanness there.

Efcal. By the Woman's Means?

Elb. Ay, Sir, by Miftrefs Over-don's Means; but as she fpit in his Face, fo fhe defy'd him.

Clown. Sir, if it please your Honour, this is not fo.

Elb. Prove it before thefe Varlets here, thou honourable

Man, prove it.

Efcal. Do you hear how he mifplaces?

Clown.

Clown. Sir, fhe came in great with Child; and longing, faving your Honour's Reverence, for ftew'd Prewns; we had but two in the House, which at that very instant time ftood, as it were, in a Fruit-dish, a Dish of fome three Pence; your Honours having feen fuch Difhes, they are not China Dishes, but very good Dishes.

Efcal. Go too, go too; no matter for the Dish, Sir.

Clown. No indeed, Sir, not of a Pin; you are therein in the right: But to the Point; as I fay, this Miftrefs Elbow, being, as I fay, with Child, and being great belly'd, and longing, as I faid, for Prewns; and having no more in the Dish, as I faid; Mafter Froth here, this very Man, having eaten the reft, as I faid, and, as I fay, paying for them very honestly; for, as you know, Mafter Froth, I could not give you three Pence again.

Froth. No indeed.

Clown. Very well; you being then, if you be remembred, cracking the Stones of the forefaid Prewns.

Froth. Ay, fo I did indeed.

Clown. Why, very well; I telling you then, if you be remembred, that fuch a one, and fuch a one, were past Cure of the thing you wot of, unless they kept very good Diet, as I told you.

Froth. All this is true.

Clown. Why, very well then.

Efcal. Come, you are a tedious Fool; to the Purpose; what was done to Elbow's Wife, that he hath Cause to complain of? Come me to what was done to her.

Clown. Sir, your Honour cannot come to that yet.
Efcal. No Sir, nor I mean it not.

Clown. Sir, but you fhall come to it, by your Honour's leave: And I befeech you, look into Mafter Froth here, Sir, a Man of fourscore Pound a Year; whofe Father dy'd at Hallowmas. Was't not at Hallowmas, Mafter Froth?

Froth. All-ballond Eve.

Clown. Why very well; I hope here be Truths. He, Sir, fitting, as I fay, in a lower Chair, Sir, 'twas in the Bunch of Grapes, where indeed you have a delight to fit, have you not?

Froth. I have fo, because it is an open Room, and good for Winter.

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Clown.

Clown. Why, very well then; I hope here be Truths.
Ang. This will laft out a Night in Ruffia,

When Nights are longeft there. I'll take my Leave,
And leave you to the hearing of the Caufe,

Hoping you'll find good Caufe to whip them all.

[Exit.

Efcal. I think no lefs. Good-morrow to your Lordship. Now, Sir, come on: What was done to Elbow's Wife, once more?

Clown. Once, Sir? There was nothing done to her once. Elb. I befeech you, Sir, ask him what this Man did to my Wife.

Clown. I befeech your Honour, ask me.

Efcal. Well, Sir, what did this Gentleman to her?

Clown. I befeech you, Sir, look in this Gentleman's Face; good Mafter Froth, look upon his Honour; 'tis for a good Purpose; doth your Honour mark his Face?

Efcal. Ay, Sir, very well.

Clown. Nay, I beseech you mark it well.
Efcal. Well, I do fo.

Clown. Doth your Honour fee any Harm in his Face?
Efcal. Why, no.

Clown. I'll be fuppos'd upon a Book, his Face is the worst thing about him: Good then; if his Face be the worst thing about him, how could Mafter Froth do the Constable's Wife any harm? I would know that of your Honour.

Efcal. He's in the right, Conftable, what fay you to it? Elb. Firft, and it like you, the Houfe is a refpected House; next, this is a refpected Fellow; and his Mistress is a respected Woman.

Clown. By this Hand, Sir, his Wife is a more respected Person than any of us all.

Elb. Varlet, thou lieft; thou lieft, wicked Varlet; the time is yet to come, that he was ever refpected with Man, Woman, or Child.

Clown. Sir, fhe was respected with him before he marry'd with her.

Efcal. Which is the wifer here; Justice, or Iniquity? Is

this true?

Elb. O thou Caitiff! O thou Varlet! O thou wicked Hannibal! I refpected with her, before I was marry'd to her? If ever I was refpected with her, or the with me, let not

your

your Worship think me the poor Duke's Officer; prove this, thou wicked Hannibal, or I'll have mine Action of Battery on thee.

Efcal. If he took you a Box o'th' Ear, you might have your Action of Slander too.

Elb. Marry I thank your good Worship for it: What is't your Worship's Pleafure I fhall do with this wicked Caitiff?

Efcal. Truly, Officer, because he hath fome Offences in him, that thou wouldst discover, if thou couldft, let him continue in his Courfes, 'till thou know'ft what they are.

Elb. Marry, I thank your Worship for it; thou feeft, thou wicked Varlet now, what's come upon thee. Thou art to continue.

Efcal. Where were you born, Friend?
Froth. Here in Vienna, Sir.

Efcal. Are you of fourfcore Pounds a Year?

Froth. Yes, and't please you, Sir.

[To Froth

Efcal. So. What Trade are you of, Sir? [To the Clown. Clown. A Tapfter, a poor Widow's Tapfter.

Efcal. Your Mistress Name?

Clown. Miftrefs Over-don.

Efcal. Hath fhe had any more than one Husband?
Clown. Nine, Sir: Over-don by the last.

Efcal. Nine? Come hither to me, Mafter Froth; Mafter Froth, I would not have you acquainted with Tapfters; they will draw you, Mafter Froth, and you will hang them. Get you gone, and let me hear no more of you.

Froth. I thank your Worship; for mine own Part, I never come into any Room in a Taphouse, but I am drawn in.

Efcal. Well; no more of it Mafter Froth; farewel.

[Exit Froth. Come you hither to me, Master Tapfter; what's your Name, Master Tapfter?

Clown. Pompey.
Efcal. What elfe? -

Clown. Bum, Sir.

Efcal. Troth, and your Bum is the greatest thing about you, fo that in the beaftlieft Senfe, you are Pompey the great; Pompey, you are partly a Bawd, Pompey; howfo

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ever

ever you colour it being a Tapfter; are you not? come, tell me true, it fhall be the better for you.

Clown. Truly, Sir, I am a poor Fellow that would live. Efcal. How would you live, Pompey? by being a Bawd? what do you think of the Trade, Pompey? is it a lawful Trade?

Clown. If the Law would allow it, Sir.

Efcal. But the Law will not allow it, Pompey, nor it fhall not be allowed in Vienna.

Clown. Does your Worship mean to geld and splay all the Youth in the City?

Efcal. No, Pompey.

Clown. Truly, Sir, in my poor Opinion, they will to't then. If your Worship will take order for the Drabs and Knaves, you need not to fear the Bawds.

Efcal. There are pretty Orders beginning, I can tell you: It is but heading and hanging,

Clown. If you head and hang all that offend that way but for ten Years together, you'll be glad to give out a Commiffion for more Heads: If this Law hold in Vienna ten Years, I'll rent the fairest House in it after three Pence a Bay: If you live to see this come to pass, fay, Pompey told you so.

Efcal. Thank you, good Pompey; and in Requital of your Prophecy, hark you; I advife you let me not find you before me again upon any Complaint whatsoever; no, not for dwelling where you do: If I do, Pompey, I fhall beat you to your Tent, and prove a fhrewd Cafar to you: In plain Dealing, I fhall have you whipt; So for this time, Pompey, fare you well.

Clown. I thank your Worship for your good Counsel ; but I fhall follow it as the Flesh and Fortune fhall better determine. Whip me? no, no; let Carman whip his Jade. The valiant Heart's not whipt out of his Trade. [Exit.

Efcal. Come hither to me, Mafter Elbow; come hither, Mafter Conftable; how long have you been in this Place of Conftable?

Elb. Seven Year and a half, Sir.

Efcal. I thought, by the readiness in the Office, you had continued in it fome time: You fay, feven Years together.

Elb.