Ant. Villain, thou lieft; for even her Didft thou deliver to me on the Mart.

S. Dro. I never fpake with her in all my Life.
Ant. How can fhe thus then call us by our Names,
Unless it be by Inspiration?

Adr. How ill agrees it with your Gravity,
To counterfeit thus grofly with your Slave,
Abetting him to thwart me in my Mood?
By it my Wrong, you are from me exempt,
But wrong not that Wrong with a more Contempt.
Come, I will faften on this Sleeve of thine;
Thou art an Elm, my Husband, I a Vine:
Whose Weakness marry'd to thy stronger State,
Makes me with thy Strength to communicate;
If ought poffefs thee from me, it is Drofs,
Ufurping Ivy, Brier, or idle Mofs,

Who all for want of pruning, with Intrufion,
Infect thy Sap, and live on thy Confufion.

Ant. To me fhe fpeaks; the moves me for her Theam; What, was I marry'd to her in my Dream?

Or fleep I now, and think I hear all this?
What Error drives our Eyes and Ears amifs?
Until I know this fure Uncertainty,

I'll entertain the freed Fallacy.

Luc. Dromio, go bid the Servants fpread for Dinner.
·S. Dro. Oh for my Beads, I cross me for a Sinner.
This is the Fairy Land: Oh Spight of Spights;
We talk with Goblins, Owls, and Elves Sprights;
If we obey them not, this will enfue,

They'll fuck our Breath, or pinch us black and blue.
Luc. Why prat'ft thou to thy felf,

Dromio, thou Dromio, Snail, thou Slug, thou Sot?
S. Dro. I am transformed, Mafter, am I not?
Ant. I think thou art in Mind, and fo am I.

S. Dro. Nay, Mafter, both in Mind and in my Shape.
Ant. Thou haft thine own Form.

S. Dro. No; I am an Ape.

Luc. If thou art chang'd to ought, 'tis to an Afs.

S. Dro. 'Tis true, fhe rides me, and I long for Grafs. 'Tis fo; I am an Afs; elfe it could never be,

But I fhould know her as well as the knows me.

Adr.

Adr. Come, come, no longer will I be a Fool,
Το put the Finger in the Eye and weep,

Whilft Man and Mafter laughs my Woes to fcorn.
Come, Sir, to Dinner; Dromio, keep the Gate;
Husband, I'll dine above with you to Day,
And fhrive you of a thoufand idle Pranks:
Sirrah, if any ask you for your Master,

Say, he dines forth, and let no Creature enter:
Come, Sifter; Dromio, play the Porter well.

Ant. Am I in Earth, in Heaven, or in Hell?
Sleeping or waking, mad or well advis'd;
Known unto thefe, and to my felf disguis'd?
I'll fay as they fay, and perfevere fo;

And in this Mift at all Adventures go.

S. Dro. Mafter, fhall I be Porter at the Gate?
Adr. Ay, and let none enter, left I break your Pate.
Luc. Come, come, Antipholis, we dine too late.

ACT III. SCENE I.

Enter Antipholis of Ephefus, Dromio of Ephefus, Angelo and Balthazar.

E. Ant. G My Wife is fhrewith when I keep not Hours;

Ood Signior Angelo, you must excuse us all :

Say, that I linger'd with you at your Shop
To fee the making of her Carkanet,

And that to Morrow you will bring it Home.
But here's a Villain that would face me down,
He met me on the Mart, and that I beat him,
And charg'd him with a thousand Marks in Gold;
And that I did deny my Wife and House:

Thou Drunkard thou, what didft thou mean by this?

E. Dro. Say what you will, Sir, but I know what I know, That you beat me at the Mart, I have your Hand to show; If the Skin were Parchment, and the Blows you gave were Ink, Your Hand-writing would tell you what I think.

E. Ant. I think thou art an Ass.

E. Dro. Marry, fo it doth appear

By the Wrongs I fuffer, and the Blows I bear;

I should kick being kickt; and being at that pass,
You would keep from my Heels, and beware of an Afs.

E. Ant. Y'are fad, Signior Balthazar: Pray God our Cheer May anfwer my good Will, and your good Welcome here. Bal. I hold your Dainties cheap, Sir, and your welcome dear.

E. Ant. Ah Signior Balthazar, either at Flesh or Fish, A Table-full of welcome makes scarce one dainty Dish. Bal. Good Meat, Sir, is common, that every Churl affords. E. Ant. And Welcome more common; for that's nothing but Words.

Bal. Small Cheer, and great Welcome, makes a merry Feaft.

E. Ant. Ay, to a niggardly Hoft, and more fparing Gueft: But tho' my Cates be mean, take them in good part; Better Cheer may you have, but not with a better Heart. But foft; my Door is lockt; go bid them let us in.

E. Dro. Mand, Bridget, Marian, Cifly, Gillian, Ginn.

S. Dro. within. Mome, Malt-horse, Capon, Coxcomb, Idiot Patch.

Either get thee from the Door, or fit down at the Hatch: Doft thou conjure for Wenches, that thou call'st for such store, When one is one too many? Go, get thee from the Door. E. Dro. What Patch is made our Porter? My Mafter ftays in the Street.

S. Dro. Let him walk from whence he came, left he
catch cold on's Feet.

E. Ant. Who talks within there? Hoa, open the Door.
S. Dro. Right, Sir, I'll tell you when, and you'll tell me
wherefore.

E. Ant. Wherefore? for my Dinner: I have not din'd to
Day.

S. Dro. Nor to Day here you must not: Come again when

you may.

E. Ant. What art thou that keep'ft me out from the House
I owe?

S. Dro. The Porter for this time, Sir, and my Name is

Dromio.

E.Dro. O Villain, thou haft stol'n both mine Office and my Name.

The one ne'er got me Credit, the other mickle Blame;

VOL. I.

U

If

If thou hadft been Dromio to Day in my place,

Thou wouldst have chang'd thy Face for a Name, or thy Name for an Afs.

Luce. within. What a Coile is there, Dromio? Who are those at the Gate?.

E. Dro. Let my Mafter in, Luce.

Luce. Faith, no; he comes too late; and fo tell your Master. E. Dro. O Lord, I muft laugh; have at you with a Proverb.

Shall I fet in my Staff?

Luce. Have at you with another; that's when? Can you tell?

S. Dro. If thy Name be called Luce, Luce, thou haft anfwer'd him well.

E. Ant. Do you hear, you Minion, you'll let us in, I hope?

Luce. I thought to have askt you.

S. Dro. And you faid, no.

E. Dro. So, come, help, well ftruck; there was Blow for
Blow.

E. Ant. Thou Baggage, let me in.
Luce. Can you tell for whofe fake?
E. Dro. Mafter, knock the Door hard.
Luce. Let him knock 'till it ake.

E. Ant. You'll cry for this, Minion, if I beat the Door down.

Luce. What needs all that, and a pair of Stocks in the Town?

Adr. within. Who is that at the Door that keeps all this Noife?

S. Dro. By my Troth, your Town is troubled with unruly Boys.

E. Ant. Are you there, Wife? You might have come before.

Adr. Your Wife, Sir Knave! Go get you from the Door. E. Dro. If you went in pain, Mafter, this Knave would go fore.

Ang. Here is neither Cheer, Sir, nor Welcome; we would fain have either.

Bal. In debating which was beft, we fhall part with nei

ther.

E. Dro.

E. Dro. They ftand at the Door, Mafter; bid them Welcome hither.

E. Ant. There is fomething in the Wind, that we cannot get in.

E. Dro. You would fay fo, Mafter, if your Garments were thin.

Your Cake here is warm within: You ftand here in the

Cold.

It would make a Man as mad as a Buck to be fo bought and fold.

E. Ant. Go fetch me fomething, I'll break ope the Gate. S. Dro. Break any breaking here, and I'll break your

Knave's Pate.

E. Dro. A Man may, break a Word with you, Sir, and
Words are but Wind;

Ay, and break it in your Face, fo he break it not behind.
S. Dro. It feems thou want'ft breaking; Out upon thee,
Hind.

E. Dro. Here's too much: Out upon thee; I pray thee

let me in.

S. Dro. Ay, when Fowls have no Feathers, and Fish have no Fin.

E. Ant. Well, I'll break in; go borrow me a Crow.

E. Dro. A Crow without Feather, Mafter, mean you fo?
For a Fish without a Fin, there's a Fowl without a Feather:
If a Crow help us in, Sirrah, we'll pluck a Crow together.
E. Ant. Go, get thee gone, fetch me an Iron Crow.
Bal. Have patience, Sir: Oh let it not be fo,
Herein you war against your Reputation,
And draw within the compass of Suspect
Th' unviolated Honour of your Wife.
Once this; your long experience of her Wisdom,
Her fober Virtue, Years and Modefty,

Plead on her part fome Cause to you unknown;
And doubt not, Sir, but she will well excuse
Why at this time the Doors are made against you.
Be rul'd by me, depart in Patience,

And let us to the Tyger all to Dinner,
And about Evening come your felf alone,
To know the Reason of this strange Restraint.
If by ftrong Hand you offer to break in

U 2

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