LETTER CI.

March 13, 17

IN

N the diftressful embarrassment to which was now reduced, I advertised for a place as house-keeper, or attendant upon an elderly lady or gentleman. A I had been accustomed to a fick room, was naturally tender to those who are indifpofed, and had acquired much experience from the illneffes of feveral of my friends, as related, I flattered myself I should not fail to please who-ever fhould honour mé with the acceptance of my offered fervice.

As I ftill retained the name of Weft, I imagined that my having been formerly upon the stage, as well as the character for extravagance which had been imputed to me, would not prove an impediment to my fcheme: and if it fhould afterwards be found out, I trusted, that my utility, and unremitted attention in my new employment, would endear me fo much, that it would rather be a circumftance in my favour than disfavour. So fanguine was I of meeting with fuccefs in this application, that all my thoughts were employed in forming an under-plot to my piece; which was to introduce my partner in misfortune (to whom I was now confiderably indebted) into a fimilar fituation. But to our very great mortification,

cation, though I frequently repeated the advertisement, to the vifible decrease of my nearly exhaufted finances, I found I had nothing to hope from my new adopted fcheme. Not a foul ever enquired after the advertiser, notwithstanding she could have rendered herfelf fo ferviceable.

So much do the news-papers now abound with offered fervices of this kind, that I believe the greatest part of them meet with the fame fate mine did. They, indeed, answer more than one good purpofe; for in the firft place they tend to the increafe of his Majefty's revenue, and in the next, to the emoluments of the proprietors of the papers: though this affords very little confolation to the poor wretches, who embark their last fhilling upon the uncertain adventure.

About this time, I renewed an intimacy which had formerly fubfifted between Mrs. Greville and myself; a lady whom my mother had known, and been partial to from a child. This lady had been rendered unfortunate by her union with a man that treated her with the greatest barbarity. She had endeavoured, by the most unremitted industry, to manage a trifling income left by her fifter Lady Diemar. For, notwithstanding her theatrical talents are univerfally allowed, from fome ftrange circumftances, fhe has been unemployed for feveral feafons. It is a myftery I could never

2

unravel,

unravel, why this lady fhould be thrown by, while others, with not half her merit, have engagements. The goodness of her heart prevailed over her fcanty circumftances, and The chearfully offered me the little affiftance fhe could fpare. But as it must be fuppofed from what I have faid, that it could only be a temporary relief, and given at different times, it could not extricate me from my difficulties.

I wrote to India to my fon and nephew, but no answers could be expected from them for two or three years; and how to fubfift was the labour of my thoughts. My maid was my greatest unhappiness; for as to myself, I had now acquired a perfect indifference to whatever might befal me; and my mind was more calm than it had ever been fince my early days. This ferenity was a bleffing I had not experienced during the many years I had paffed in folly and diffipation.

At the conclufion of the season, a gentle, man, who poffeffes the most extenfive philanthropy, and to whom I owe repeated obligations, opened a fubfcription for me at Brookes's; but the fummer being too much advanced, and moft of the members gone into the country, it did not fucceed equal to his kind intentions. The money arising from it, was barely fufficient to pay a demand which a fevere creditor had fued me for; and

what

what added to the cruelty, was his knowing that the debt was not of my contracting.

The fubfcription, however, was productive of a more fortunate circumftance than the fum received, as it affured a perfon, who belongs to the club, of my diftrefs, which he had only flightly heard of from a female friend of mine: and I cannot fufficiently express my gratitude for his repeated affiftance. It is with the utmost difficulty I can fo far fupprefs my grateful fenfations, as to keep them from breaking out into public acknowledgments for fo fingular an instance of benevolence; but I obey the injunction, though with reluctance. The confcioufnefs of poffeffing a mind fo enlarged, and the pleasures which flow from acts of beneficence will be his reward; and I fhall never forget, that he is a fhining pattern of the most unlimited and exalted humanity.

About this time my patron went abroad; but before he left England, he offered me his farther affiftance. I, however, declined the offer, feeling myfelf already too much. obliged; and having fome reafon to fear his generofity would overleap the bounds of prudence.

And I, in order to keep pace with his fentiments, at this juncture, fell into a very great inconvenience, through the high opinion I entertained of an artful woman, and the confidence I placed in her. So great was

my

my folly upon the occafion, that I blush at the recollection of it, and am even ashamed to mention it. And this at a time, when experience ought to have taught me to be careful; and after the miferies I had fuffered through the duplicity of others, to be upon my guard againft the falfe pretenfions of those who defcend to art.

Upon my returning home one day from a friend, whom I had been to inform of my fituation; and as I was indulging my reflections on my folly; on the years I had lived; and on what I ought to have attained, a knowledge of the world; I was informed that a young gentleman, whofe name was Nash, had called, and was very defirous to fee me. As I was not at home, he left a note from Counsellor Murphy of Lincoln's Inn, the purport of which was, that the executors of Mr. Davy, to whom I had difpofed of my annuity, had got a report in our favour against the executors of Mr. Calcraft; and if I had not difpofed of the furplus of it, he would undertake to get that, and the arrears alfo for me.

As I had long fince given up all thoughts of fuch an event, the deeds not being in my poffeffion, I could not fail of being much pleased with the account. The only voucher I had to fhow, was the counterpart which Mr. Calcraft had fent to Ireland as before related. I had indeed, requested Mr. Townly Ward, of Henrietta-ftreet, to meet the attorney

VOL. V.

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