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Ant. A trusty villain, sir; that very oft, When I am duil with care and melancholy, Lightens my humour with his merry jests. What, will you walk with me about the town, And then go to my inn, and dine with me?

Methinks your maw, like mine, should be your
And strike you home without a messenger. [clock,
Ant. Come, Dromio, come, these jests are
out of season;

5 Reserve them till a merrier hour than this.
Where is the gold I gave in charge to thee ?[me.
E. Dro. To me, sir? why, you gave no gold to
Ant. Come on, sir knave, have done your
foolishness,

10 And tell me, how thou hast dispos'd thy charge. E. Dro. My charge was but to fetch you from the mart

20

Mer. I am invited, sir, to certain merchants,
Of whom I hope to make much benefit,
I crave your pardon. Soon, at five o'clock,
Please you, I'll meet with you upon the mart,
And afterwards consort you til bed-time;
My present business calls me from you now.
Ant. Farewell till then: I will go lose myself,
And wander up and down to view the city.
Mer. Sir, I commend you to your own content.
[Exit Merchant.[15]
Ant. He that commends me to mine own con-
Commends me to the thing I cannot get. [tent,
I to the world am like a drop of water,
That in the ocean seeks another drop;
Who, falling there, to find his fellow forth,
Unseen, inquisitive, confounds himself:
So I, to find a mother, and a brother,
In quest of them, unhappy, lose myself.
Enter Dromio of Ephesus.
Here comes the almanack of my true date.
What now? How chance,thou art return'd so soon?
E.Dro. Return'd so soon! rather approach'd too
The capon burns, the pig falls from the spit;[late;
The clock has strucken twelve upon the bell,
My mistress made it one upon my cheek:
She is so hot, because the meat is cold;
The meat is cold, because you come not home;
You come not home, because youhave no stomach;|
You have no stomach, having broke your fast;
But we, that know what 'tis to fast and pray,
Are penitent for your default to-day.

Ant. Stop in your wind, sir: tell me this, I pray;
Where have you left the money that I gave you?
E.Dro. Oh,-six-pence,that I had o' Wednesday
To pay the sadler for my mistress' crupper-[last,
The sadler had it, sir, I kept it not.

Ant. I am not in a sportive humour now;
Tell me, and dally not, where is the money?
We being strangers here, how dar'st thou trust
So great a charge from thine own custody?

E. Dro. I pray you, jest sir, as you sit at dinner:
I from my mistress come to you in post;
If I return, I shall be post indeed,

For she will score your fault upon my pate.

Home to your house, the Phoenix, sir, to dinner;
My mistress, and her sister, stay for you.

Ant. Now, as I am a christian, answer me,
In what safe place you have dispos'd my money;
Or I shall break that merry sconce' of yours,
That stands on tricks when I am undispos'd:
Where are the thousand marks thou had'st of me?
E. Dro. I have some marks of yours upon my

pate,
Some of my mistress' marks upon my shoulders,
But not a thousand marks between you both.
If I should pay your worship those again,
25 Perchance, you will not bear them patiently.
Ant. Thy mistress' marks! what mistress, slave,
hast thou?
[Phoenix;

E. Dro. Your worship's wife, my mistress at the She that doth fast, till you come home to dinner, 30 And prays, that you will hie you home to dinner, Ant. What, wilt thou flout me thus unto my

40

face,

Being forbid? There, take you that, sir knave.
E. Dro. What mean you, sir? for God's sake,
135
hold your hands.
Nay, an you will not, sir, I'll take my heels.
[Exit Dromio.
Ant. Upon my life, by some device or other,
The villain is o'er-raught of all my money.
They say, this town is full of cozenage;
As, nimble jugglers, that deceive the eye;
Dark-working sorcerers, that change the mind;
Soul-killing witches, that deform the body;
Disguised cheaters, prating mountebanks,
45 And many such like liberties of sin:
If it prove so, I will be gone the sooner.
I'll to the Centaur go to seek this slave;
I greatly fear, my money is not safe.

[Exit.

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Adr. Why should their liberty than ours be more? Lur. Because their business stid lies out o' door. Adr. Look, when I serve him so, he takes it ill. Luc. Oh, know he is the bridle of your will. [so. Adr. There's none, but asses, will be bridled Luc. Why head-strong liberty is lash'd with woe. There's nothing, situate under heaven's eye, But hath his bound, in earth, in sea, in sky: The beasts, the fishes, and the winged fowls, Are their males' subject, and at their controuls: Meo, more divine, the masters of all these, Lords of the wide world, and wild watry seas, Indn'd with intellectual sense and souls, Of more pre-eminence than fish and fowls, Are masters to their females, and their lords: Then let your will attend on their accords. Adr. This servitude makes you to keep unwed. Luc. Not this, but troubles of the marriage-bed. dr. But, were you wedded, you would bear

⚫ some sway.

Luc. Ere I learn love, I'll practise to obey. Adr. How if your husband start some other where?

5

'Tis dinner-time, quoth I: My gold, quoth he: Your meut doth burn, quoth I; My gold, quoth he: Will you come? quoth I; My gold, quoth he: Where is the thousand marks I gave thee, villain? The pig, quoth I, is burn'd; My gold, quoth he: My mistress, sir, quoth I; Hang up thy mistress; I know not thy mistress; out on thy mistress! Luc. Quoth who?

E. Dro. Quoth my master: 10I know, quoth he, no house, no wife, no mistress;So that my errand due unto my tongue,

15

20

Luc. Till he come home again, I would forbear.
Adr. Patience, unmov'd, no marvel though 25

she pause;

They can be ineek, that have no other cause.
A wretched soul, bruis'd with adversity,
We bid be quiet, when we hear it cry;
But were we burden'd with like weight of pain,
As much, or more, we should ourselves complain:
So thou, that hast no unkind mate to grieve thee,
With urging helpless patience would'st relieve me:
But, if thou live to see like right bereft,
This fool-begg'd patience in thee will be left,
Luc. Well, I will marry one day, but to try;
Here comes your man, now is your husband nigh.
Enter Dromio of Ephesus.

35

I thank him, I bare home upon my shoulders;
For, in conclusion, he did beat me there. [home.
Adr. Go back again, thou slave, and fetch him
E.Dro. Go back again, and be new beaten home?
For God's sake, send some other messenger.
Adr. Back, slave, or I will break thy pate across.
E. Dro. And he will bless that cross with other
beating:

Between you I shall have a holy head. [home.
Adr. Hence, prating peasant; fetch thy master
E. Dro. Am I so round with you, as you with me,
That like a foot-ball you do spurn me thus ?
You spurn me hence, and he will spurn me hither:
If I last in this service, you must case me in leather.

[Exit.

Luc. Fye, how impatience loureth in your face! Adr. His company must do his minions grace, Whilst I at home starve for a merry look. 30 Hath homely age the alluring beauty took From my poor cheek? then he hath wasted it: Are my discourses dull? barren my wit? If voluble and sharp discourse be marr'd, Unkindness blunts it, more than marble hard. Do their gay vestments his affections bait ? That's not my fault, he's master of my state: What ruins are in me, that can be found By him not ruin'd? then is he the ground Of my defeatures': My decayed fair A sunny look of his would soon repair: But, too unruly deer, he breaks the pale, And feeds from home; poor I am but his stale. Luc. Self-harming jealousy!-fye, beat it hence, Adr. Unfeeling fools can with such wrongs disI know his eye doth fromage other-where; [pense, Or else, what lets it but he would be here? Sister, you know, he promis'd me a chain:Would that alone, alone he would detain, So he would keep fair quarter with his bed! 50 see, the jewel, best enamelled,

Adr. Sey, is your tardy master now at hand? E. Dro. Nay, he is at two hands with me, and 40 that my two ears can witness.

Ar. Say, didst thou speak with him? know'st thou his mind?

E. Dro. Ay, ay, he told his mind upon mine ear: Beshrew his hand, I scarce could understand it. Luc. Spake he so doubtfully, thou couldst not feel his meaning?

E. Dro. Nay, he struck so plainly, I could too well feel his blows; and withal so doubtfully, that I could scarce understand them2.

Adr. But say, I pry'thee, is he coming home? It seems he hath great care to please his wife. E.Dro. Why, mistress, sure my master is horn-| Ar. Horg-mad, thou villain?

[mad.

45

E. Dro. I mean not cuckold-mad; but, sure, 55
he's stark mad:

When I desir'd him to come home to dinner,
He ask'd me for a thousand marks in gold:

[blocks in formation]

That is, plain, free in speech.

Meaning, some other place. Meaning, stand under them. Meaning, my change, or alteration of features. That is, his pretence, his cover. See a preceding note in the Tempest. The sense is, 66 Gold, indeed, will long bear the handling; however, often touching will wear even gold; just so the greatest character, though as pure as gold itself, may, in time, be injured by the repeated attacks of falshood and corruption.

SCENE

SCENE II.

The Street.

Enter Antipholis of Syracuse.

thing for something. But say, sir, is it dinner-
time?
[have.

S. Dro. No, sir, I think the meat wants that I
Ant. In good time, sir, what's that è
S. Dro. Lasting.

Ant. Well, sir, then 'twill be dry.

S. Dro, If it be, sir, pray you eat none of it.
Ant. Your reason?

S. Dro. Lest it make you cholerick, and pur10 chase me another dry-basting.

Ant. The gold, I gave to Dromio, is laid up 5
Safe at the Centaur; and the heedful slave
Is wander'd forth, in care to seek me out.
By computation, and mine host's report,
I could not speak with Dromio, since at first
I sent him from the mart: See, here he comes.
Enter Dromio of Syracuse.
How now, sir? is your merry humour alter'd?
As you love strokes, so jest with me again.
You know no Centaur? you receiv'd no gold?
Your mistress sent to have me home to dinner?
My house was at the Phoenix? Wast thou mad,
That thus so madly thou didst answer me?
S. Dromio. What answer, sir? when spake I
such a word?
since.

15

25

Ant. Well, sir, learn to jest in good time: There's a time for all things.

S. Dro. I durst have deny'd that, before you were so cholerick.

Ant. By what rule, sir?

[blocks in formation]

Ant. Even now, even here, not half an hour 20 his hair, that grows bald by nature.
S.Dro.I did not see you since you sent mehence,
Home to the Centaur, with the gold you gave me.
Ant. Villain, thou didst deny the gold's receipt;
And told'st me of a mistress, and a dinner;
For which, I hope, thou felt'st I was displeas'd.
S.Dro. I am glad to see you in this merry vein :
What means this jest? I pray you, master, tell me.
Ant. Yea,dost thou jeer and flout me in the teeth?
Think'st thou I jest? Hold, take thou that, and
that.
[Beats Dro. 30
S.Dro. Hold, sir, for God's sake; now your jest
Upon what bargain do you give it me? [is earnest :
Ant. Because that I familiarly sometimes
Do use you for my fool, and chat with you,
Your sauciness will jest upon my love,
And make a common of my serious hours'.
When the sun shines let foolish gnats make sport,
But creep in crannies, when he hides his beams.
If you will jest with me, know my aspect,
And fashion your demeanour to my looks,
Or I will beat this method in your sconce.
S.Dro.Sconce, call you it? so you would leave bat-
tering, I had rather have it a head: an you use these
blows long, I must get a sconce for my head, and
insconce it too, or else I shall seek my wit in my 45
shoulders. But, I pray, sir, why am I beaten?
Ant. Dost thou not know?

Ant. May he not do it by fine and recovery? S. Dro. Yes, to pay a fine for a peruke, and recover the lost hair of another man.

Ant. Why is time such a niggard of hair, being, as it is, so plentiful an excrement?

S. Dro. Because it is a blessing that he bestows on beasts: and what he hath scanted men in hair, he hath given them in wit.

Ant. Why, but there's many a man hath more hair than wit.

S. Dro. Not a man of those but he hath the wit to lose his hair'.

S. Dro. Nothing, sir, but that I am beaten.
Ant. Shall I tell you why?

35

1401

S. Dro. Ay, sir, and wherefore; for, they say, 50
every why hath a wherefore.
[wherefore,-

Ant. Why, first, for flouting me; and then,
For urging it the second time to me. [of season,
S. Dro. Was there ever any man thus beaten out
When, in the why, and the wherefore, is neither 55
rbime nor reason?—

Well, sir, I thank you.

Ant. Thank me, sir? for what?

S. Dro. Marry, sir, for this something that you gave me for nothing.

Ant. I'll make you amends next, to give you no

Ant. Why, thou didst conclude hairy men plain dealers without wit.

S. Dro. The plainer dealer, the sooner lost Yet he loseth it in a kind of jollity.

Ant. For what reason?

S. Dro. For two; and sound ones too.

Ant. Nay, not sound, I pray you.

S. Dro. Sure ones then.

Ant. Nay, not sure, in a thing falsing.
S. Dro. Certain ones then.

Ant. Name them.

S. Dro. The one, to save the money that he spends in tiring; the other, that at dinner they should not drop in his porridge.

Ant. You would all this time have prov'd, there is no time for all things.

S. Dro. Marry, and did, sir; namely, no time to recover hair lost by nature.

Ant. But your reason was not substantial, why there is no time to recover.

S. Dro. Thus I mend it: Time himself is bald, and therefore to the world's end, will have bald followers.

Ant. I know 'twould be a bald conclusion: But soft! who wafts us vonder?

Enter Adriana and Luciana. Adr. Ay, ay, Antipholis,look strange, and frown; 60 Some other mistress hath thy sweet aspects, I am not Adriana, nor thy wife. Meaning, And break in, or intrude upon them when you please. of ground called commons. That is, fortify it. This alludes to the one of which, on its first appearance in Europe, was the loss of hair. loose women, have more hair than wit, and suffer for their lewdness, by

The allusion is to those tracts effects of the venereal disease, Those who are entrapped by the loss of their hair.

The

The time was once, when thou, unurg'd, would'st
That never words were music to thine ear, [vow
That never object pleasing in thine eye,
That never touch well-welcome to thy hand,
That never meat sweet-savour'd in thy taste, [thee.
Unless I spake, or look'd, or touch'd, or carv'd to
How comes it now, my husband, oh, how comes it,
That thou art then estranged from thyself?
Thyself I call it, being strange to me,
That, undividable, incorporate,
And better than thy dear self's better part.
Ah, do not tear away thyself from me;
For know, my love, as easy may'st thou fall
A drop of water in the breaking gulph,
And take unmingled thence that drop again,
Without addition, or diminishing,

As take from me thyself, and not me too.
How dearly would it touch thee to the quick,
Shouldst thou but hear I were licentious?
And that this body, consecrafe to thee,
By ruffian lust shoud be contaminate ?
Wouldst thou not spit at me, and spurn at me,.
And hurl the name of husband in my face,
And tear the stain'd skin off my harlot-brow,
And from my faise hand cut the wedding-ring,
And break it with a deep-divorcing vow?

[bed:

5

Adr. How ill agrees it with your gravity, To counterfeit thus grossly with your slave, Abetting him to thwart me in my mood? Be it my wrong, you are from me exempt', But wrong not that wrong with a more contempt. Come, I will fasten on this sleeve of thine: Thou art an elm, my husband, I a vine; Whose weakness, marry'd to thy stronger state, Makes me with thy strength to communicate: 10If aught possess thee from me it is dross, Usurping ivy, briar, or idle moss;

Who, all for want of pruning, with intrusion Infect thy sap, and live on thy confusion. [theme; Ant. To me she speaks; she moves me for her 15 What, was I marry'd to her in my dream? Or sleep I now, and think I hear all this? What error drives our eyes and ears amiss ? Until I know this sure uncertainty, I'll entertain the favour'd fallacy.

20

[dinner. Luc. Dromio, go, bid the servants spread for S.Dro. Oh, for my beads! I cross me for a sinner. This is the fairy land;-oh, spight of spights; We talk with goblins, owls', and elvish sprights; If we obey them not, this will ensue, [blue, 25 They'll suck our breath, and pinch us black and Luc. Why prat'st thou to thyself, and answer`st not? [sot! Dromio, thou drone, thou snail, thou slug, thou S. Dro. I am transformed, master, am I not? Ant. I think, thou art, in mind, and so am I. S. Dro. Nay, master, both in mind, and in my Ant. Thou hast thine own shape. [shape. S. Dro. No, I am an ape.

130

I know thou canst, and therefore see, thou do it.
I am possess'd with an adulterate blot;
My blood is mingled with the crime of lust:
For, if we two be one, and thou play false,
} do digest the poison of thy flesh,
Bemg strumpeted by thy contagion.
Keep then fair league and truce with thy true
I live dis-stain'd, thou undishonoured.
Ant. Plead you to me, fair dame? I know you 35
In Ephesus I am but two hours old,
As strange unto your town, as to your talk;
Who, every word by all my wit being scann'd,
Want wit in all one word to understand.

[not:

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S. Dro. I, sir? I never saw her all this time.
Ant. Villain, thou liest; for even her very
Didst thou deliver to me on the mart. [words
S. Dro. I never spake with her in all my life.
Ant. How can she thus then call us by our
Unless it be by inspiration?
[names,[55]

Luc. If thou art chang'd to aught, 'tis to an ass. S. Dro. 'Tis true, she rides me, and I long for 'Tis so, I am an ass; else it could never be, [grass, But I should know her as well as she knows me.

Adr. Come, come, no longer will I be a fool,
To put the finger in the eye and weep,
Whilst man, and master, laugh my woes to scorn.
Come, sir, to dinner; Dromio, keep the gate:
Husband, I'll dine above with you to-day,
And shrive you of a thousand idle pranks:
Sirrah, if any ask you for your master,
Say, he dines forth, and let no creature enter.—
Come, sister: Dromio, play the porter well.

Ant. Am I in earth, in heaven, or in hell?
Sleeping or waking? mad, or well-advis'd?
Known unto these, and to myself disguis'd!
I'll say as they say, and persever so,
And in this mist at all adventures go.

S. Dro. Master, shall I be porter at the gate?
Adr. Ay, let none enter, lest I break your pate.
Luc. Come, come, Antipholis, we dine too late.
[Exeunt.

1 That is, separated. That is, unfertile, and therefore useless or idle; an happy allusion to the moss which grows on fruit-trees, hastening their decay, and neither suffers the tree to bear fruit, nor does it bear any itself. The exact character of the kind of woman whom Adriana supposes to have attracted the affections of Antipho'is. S. A. 3 Dr. Warburton says, it was an old popular superstition, that the scrietch-owl sucked out the breath and blood of infants in the cradle. On this account, the Italians called witches, who were supposed to be in like manner mischievously bent against children, strega, from strix, the scrietch-owl. That is, I'll call you to confession, and make you tell all your tricks.

АСТ

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My wife is shrewish, when I keep not hours;
Say, that I linger'd with you at your shop,
To see the making of her carkanet',

And that to-morrow you will bring it home.
But here's a villain that would face me down
He met me on the mart; and that I beat him,
And charg'd him with a thousand marks in gold;
And that I did deny my wife and house:-
Thou drunkard, thou, what dost thou mean by
this?
[I know:

to show:

5

10

15

E. Dro. Say what thou will, sir, but I know what That you beat me at the mart, I have your hand [gave were ink, 20 If the skin were parchment, and the blows you Your own hand-writing would tell you what I

[blocks in formation]

You would keep from my heels, and beware of
E. Ant. You are sad, signior Balthazar: Pray 30
God, our cheer
[here.

Mayanswer my good-will, and your good-welcome. Bal. I hold your dainties cheap, sir, and your welcome dear.

[ish,

E. Ant. Ah, signior Balthazar, either at flesh or 35 A table-full of welcome makes scarce one dainty dish. [churl affords. Bal. Good meat, sir, is common, that every E. Ant. And welcome more common; for

that's nothing but words. [merry feast. 40 Bal. Small cheer, and great welcome, makes a E. Ant. Ay, to a niggardly host, and more sparing guest: [part;

But though my cates be mean, take them in good| Better cheer may you have, but not with better 45 [us in.

heart. But soft my door is lock'd; Go bid them let E. Dro. Maud, Bridget, Marian, Cicely, Gillian, Ginn!

S. Dro. [Within.] Mome2, malt-horse, capon, 50 cox-comb, ideot, patch'!

[hatch:

Either get thee from the door, or sit down at the Dost thou conjure for wenches, that thou call'st

for such store,

III.

When one is one too many? go, get thee from

the door.

E. Dro. What patch is made our porter? my master stays in the street.

S. Dro. Let him walk from whence he came, lest he catch cold on's feet. [door. E. Ant. Who talks within there? ho, open the S. Dro. Right, sir, I'll tell you when, an you'll tell me wherefore. [not din'd to-day. E. Ant. Wherefore? for my dinner; I have S. Dro. Nor to-day here you must not; come again when you may.

E. Ant. What art thou, that keep'st me out from the house I owe1?

S. Dro. The porter for this time, sir, and my name is Dromio.

E. Dro. O villain, thou hast stolen both mine office and my name:

[blame. The one ne'er got me credit, the other mickle If thou hadst been Dromio to-day in my place, Thou would'st have chang'd thy face for a name, or thy name for an ass.

Luce. [Within.] What a coil is there! Dromio, who are those at the gate?

E. Dro. Let thy master in, Luce. Luce. Faith no; he comes too late; And so tell your master.

:

E. Dro. O Lord, I must laugh :- [staff? Have at you with a proverb.-Shall I set in my Luce. Have at you with another: that'sWhen? can you tell?

S. Dro. If thy name be called Luce, Luce, thou hast answer'd him well.

E. Ant. Do you hear, you minion? you'll let us in, I trow??

Luce. I thought to have ask'd you.
S. Dro. And you said, no.

E. Dr. So, come, help; well struck; there was blow for blow.

E. Ant. Thou baggage, let me in.
Luce. Can you tell for whose sake?
E. Dro. Master, knock the door hard.
Luce. Let him knock till it ake.

E. Ant. You'll cry for this, minion, if I beat
the door down.
[in the town?
Luce. What needs all that, and a pair of stocks
Adr. [Within.] Who is that at the door, that
keeps all this noise?
[unruly boys.
S. Dro. By my troth, your town is troubled with
E. Ant. Are you there, wife? you might have
come before.
[the door.
Adr. Your wife, sir knave! go, get you from
E. Dro. If you went in pain, master, this knave
would go sore.

1 A carkanet is said to have been a necklace set with stones, or strung with pearls. That is, blockhead, stock, post. Sir T. Hanmer says, Mome owes its original to the French Momon, which signifies the gaming at dice in masquerade, the custom and rule of which is, that a strict silence is to be observed: whatever sum one stakes, another covers, but not a word is to be spoken: from hence also comes our word mum! for silence. 'That is, fool. That is, I own. To trow signifies to think, to imagine, to conceive,

4

Ang.

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