KING.

It falls right.

You have been talk'd of since your travel much,
And that in Hamlet's hearing, for a quality
Wherein, they say, you shine: your sum of parts
Did not together pluck such envy from him,
As did that one; and that, in my regard,
Of the unworthiest siege.

LAER.
KING. A very riband in the cap of youth,
Yet needful too; for youth no less becomes
The light and careless livery that it wears
Than settled age his sables and his weeds,
Importing health and graveness.-Two months since,
Here was a gentleman of Normandy,—

What part is that, my lord?

I've seen myself, and serv'd against, the French,
And they can well on horseback: but this gallant
Had witchcraft in 't; he grew unto his seat;
And to such wondrous doing brought his horse,
As he had been incorps'd and demi-natur'd
With the brave beast: so far he topp'd my thought,
That I, in forgery of shapes and tricks,

Come short of what he did.

LAER.

KING. A Norman.

LAER. Upon my life, Lamond.

KING.

A Norman was 't?

The

very same.

LAER. I know him well: he is the brooch, indeed,

And gem of all the nation.

KING. He made confession of

you;

And gave you such a masterly report,

For art and exercise in your defence,

And for your rapier most especially,

That he cried out, 'twould be a sight indeed,

If one could match you: the scrimers of their nation,

He swore, had neither motion, guard, nor eye,

If you oppos'd them. Sir, this report of his
Did Hamlet so envenom with his envy,
That he could nothing do but wish and beg
Your sudden coming o'er, to play with him.
Now, out of this,--

LAER.

What out of this, my lord?

KING. Laertes, was your father dear to you?

Or are you like the painting of a sorrow,

A face without a heart?

LAER.

Why ask you this?

KING. Not that I think you did not love your father;

But that I know love is begun by time;

And that I see, in passages of proof,
Time qualifies the spark and fire of it.
There lives within the very flame of love
A kind of wick or snuff that will abate it;
And nothing is at a like goodness still;

For goodness, growing to a plurisy,

Dies in his own too-much: that we would do,

We should do when we would; for this 'would' changes,
And hath abatements and delays as many

As there are tongues, are hands, are accidents;
And then this 'should' is like a spendthrift sigh,

That hurts by easing. But, to the quick o' the ulcer:-
Hamlet comes back: what would you undertake,

To show yourself your father's son in deed

More than in words?

LAER.

To cut his throat i' the church.

KING. No place, indeed, should murder sanctuarize;
Revenge should have no bounds. But, good Laertes,
Will you do this, keep close within
your chamber.
Hamlet return'd shall know you are come home:
We'll put on those shall praise your excellence,
And set a double varnish on the fame

The Frenchman gave you; bring you, in fine, together,
And wager on your heads: he, being remiss,
Most generous, and free from all contriving,
Will not peruse the foils; so that, with ease,
Or with a little shuffling, you may choose
A sword unbated, and, in a pass of practice,
Requite him for your father.

LAER.

I will do 't: And, for that purpose, I'll anoint my sword. I bought an unction of a mountebank,

So mortal, that but dip a knife in it,

Where it draws blood no cataplasm so rare,
Collected from all simples that have virtue
Under the moon, can save the thing from death
That is but scratch'd withal: I'll touch my point
With this contagion, that, if I gall him slightly,
It may be death.

KING.

Let's further think of this; Weigh what convenience both of time and means May fit us to our shape: if this should fail,

And that our drift look through our bad performance,
'Twere better not assay'd: therefore this project
Should have a back or second, that might hold,

If this should blast in proof. Soft!-let me see :-
We'll make a solemn wager on your cunnings,—

ΙΙΟ

120

130

140

150

I ha't:

When in your motion you are hot and dry

(As make your bouts more violent to that end),
And that he calls for drink, I'll have prepar'd him
A chalice for the nonce; whereon but sipping,
If he by chance escape your venom'd stuck,
Our purpose may hold there.

QUEEN. One woe doth tread upon another's heel,
So fast they follow :-your sister's drown'd, Laertes.
LAER. Drown'd! O, where?

QUEEN. There is a willow grows aslant a brook,
That shows his hoar leaves in the glassy stream;
There with fantastic garlands did she come

Of crow-flowers, nettles, daisies, and long purples
That liberal shepherds give a grosser name,

But our cold maids do dead men's fingers call them :

There, on the pendent boughs her coronet weeds
Clambering to hang, an envious sliver broke;
When down her weedy trophies and herself

Fell in the weeping brook. Her clothes spread wide;
And, mermaid-like, awhile they bore her up:

Which time she chanted snatches of old tunes;
As one incapable of her own distress,

Or like a creature native and indu'd
Unto that element: but long it could not be
Till that her garments, heavy with their drink,
Pull'd the poor wretch from her melodious lay
To muddy death.

LAER.

Alas, then, she is drown'd?
QUEEN. Drown'd, drown'd.

LAER. Too much of water hast thou, poor Ophelia,
And therefore I forbid my tears: but yet

It is our trick; nature her custom holds,

Let shame say what it will: when these are gone,
The woman will be out.-Adieu, my lord:

Let's follow, Gertrude :

I have a speech of fire, that fain would blaze,
But that this folly douts it.
KING.
How much I had to do to calm his rage!
Now fear I this will give it start again;
Therefore let's follow.

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180

[Exit.

190

[Exeunt.

ACT V

SCENE I-A Churchyard

Enter two Clowns, with spades, etc.

FIRST CLO. Is she to be buried in Christian burial that wilfully seeks her own salvation?

SEC. CLO, I tell thee she is; and therefore make her grave straight the crowner hath sat on her, and finds it Christian burial.

FIRST CLO. How can that be, unless she drowned herself in her own defence?

SEC. CLO. Why, 'tis found so.

12

FIRST CLO. It must be se offendendo; it cannot be else. For here lies the point: if I drown myself wittingly, it argues an act: and an act hath three branches; it is, to act, to do, and to perform argal, she drowned herself wittingly. SEC. CLO. Nay, but hear you, goodman delver,FIRST CLO. Give me leave. Here lies the water; good: here stands the man; good: if the man go to this water, and drown himself, it is, will he, nill he, he goes,-mark you that; but if the water come to him and drown him, he drowns not himself: argal, he that is not guilty of his own death shortens not his own life.

SEC. CLO. But is this law?

FIRST CLO. Ay, marry, is 't; crowner's quest-law.
SEC. CLO. Will you ha' the truth on't?

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If this had not been

a gentlewoman, she should have been buried out of Christian burial.

FIRST CLO. Why, there thou sayst: and the more pity that great folk should have countenance in this world to drown or hang themselves, more than their even Christian.-Come, my spade. There is no ancient gentlemen but gardeners, ditchers, and grave-makers: they hold up Adam's profession.

SEC. CLO. Was he a gentleman?

FIRST CLO. He was the first that ever bore arms.

SEC. CLO. Why, he had none.

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FIRST CLO. What, art a heathen? How dost thou understand the Scripture? The Scripture says, Adam digged: could he dig without arms? I'll put another question to thee: if thou answerest me not to the purpose, confess thyself—

SEC. CLO. Go to.

FIRST CLO. What is he that builds stronger than either the mason, the shipwright, or the carpenter?

SEC. CLO. The gallows-maker; for that frame outlives a thousand tenants.

4I

FIRST CLO. I like thy wit well, in good faith: the gallows does well; but how does it well? it does well to those who do ill: now, thou dost ill to say the gallows is built stronger than the church: argal, the gallows may do well to thee. To't again,

come.

SEC. CLO. Who builds stronger than a mason, a shipwright, or a carpenter?

FIRST CLO. Ay, tell me that, and unyoke.

SEC. CLO. Marry, now I can tell.

FIRST CLO. To't.

SEC. CLO. Mass, I cannot tell.

Enter HAMLET and HORATIO, at a distance

50

FIRST CLO. Cudgel thy brains no more about it, for your dull ass will not mend his pace with beating; and, when you are asked this question next, say, a grave-maker,—the houses that he makes last till doomsday. Go, get thee to Yaughan; fetch me a stoop of liquor. [Exit Sec. Clown. [He digs, and sings.

In youth, when I did love, did love,
Methought it was very sweet,

To contract, O, the time, for, ah, my behove,

O, methought, there was nothing meet.

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HAM. Has this fellow no feeling of his business, that he sings at grave-making?

HOR. Custom hath made it in him a property of easiness.

HAM. 'Tis e'en so: the hand of little employment hath the daintier sense.

FIRST CLO.

But age, with his stealing steps,
Hath claw'd me in his clutch,

And hath shipped me intil the land,
As if I had never been such.

[Sings.

[Throws up a skull.

HAM. That skull had a tongue in it, and could sing once: how the knave jowls it to the ground, as if it were Cain's jaw-bone, that did the first murder! This might be the pate of a politician, which this ass now o'er-reaches; one that would circumvent God, might it not?

HOR. It might, my lord.

HAM. Or of a courtier; which could say, 'Good morrow, sweet lord! How dost thou, good lord?' This might be my lord such-a-one, that praised my lord such-a-one's horse, when he meant to beg it,—might it not?

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