PSEUDOLUS; OR, THE CHEAT. Dramatis Personæ. SIMO, an old gentleman of Athens. CHARINUS, the friend of Calidorus. CALLIPHO, the friend of Simo. PSEUDOLUS, the servant of Simo. BALLIO, a procurer, the owner of Phoenicium. A Boy, servant of Ballio. PHOENICIUM [mute], beloved by Calidorus. Scene.-Athens. The house of BALLIO is on one side of the Street, that of SIMO on the other. THE SUBJECT. CALIDORUS, a young Athenian, the son of Simo, is in love with Phoenicium, a young woman who belongs to Ballio, a procurer. A bargain has been made by the procurer, to sell her to a military officer for twenty mine; fifteen of these have been paid down, and it has been agreed that when the remaining five and a certain token, with a letter, shall have been sent by the Captain, the damsel shall be sent to him in return. Pseudolus, the servant of Simo, promises his master's son, that, if possible, he will prevent this. They first address Ballio on the subject; but their attempts to influence him are all in vain. Pseudolus then devises a plan to get some money out of Simo, by whom, however, it is discovered; but, after having acknowledged his fault, he prevails upon the old gentleman to promise him twenty mine if he shall contrive to get the girl out of the procurer's hands. Harpax, the messenger from the Captain, in the meantime makes his appearance. Being a stranger to the place, he unwittingly delivers the Captain's letter and the token to Pseudolus, who pretends that he is the head-servant of the procurer. Charinus, the friend of Calidorus, iends him five minæ; and, provided with this, Pseudolus equips Simmia, a servant of Charinus, so as to represent the messenger from the Captain. He finds the procurer, delivers the letter, pays the five minæ, and carries off the damsel. Ballio then makes a bet of twenty mine with Simo, that Pseudolus shall not outwit him that day. The real Harpax now applies to Ballio for the girl, and the trick being discovered, the procurer has to pay back the fifteen mine to the Captain, and the twenty for the bet which he has made with Simo. Simo then pays the twenty minæ, which he has promised to Pseudolus if he should succeed in outwitting the procurer. Pseudolus is handsomely entertained by Calidorus, and engages to return to Simo one-half of the money, if he will join the entertainment. PSEUDOLUS; OR, THE CHEAT. THE ACROSTIC ARGUMENT. [Supposed to have been written by Priscian the Grammarian.] An officer pays down fifteen minæ, ready money (Præsentes); as a token he also (Simul) gives an impression of his seal, that the procurer may deliver Phoenicium to him (Ei), who brings it with the rest of the money. Pseudolus intercepts his camp-servant coming (Venientem) with the token, saying (Dicens), that he is Syrus, the servant of Ballio, and thus he gives his aid (Opem) to his master; for the procurer (Leno) delivers up the damsel to Simmia, whom he has substituted. The real Harpax comes (Venit); the matter is all discovered, and the old man (Senex) pays the money which he has agreed to give. THE PROLOGUE1. ATTEND to me this day; good things I bring upon the stage; for I think 'tis very just that to the good good things should be brought; as likewise bad things to the bad; that those who are bad may have what's bad, those who are good what's good; bad men are bad because they hate the good; because the good contemn the bad, needs must be that they are good; and therefore, you are good since you have ever abhorred the bad; and both by your laws, Quirites, and by your legions, have you routed them with good success. In like manner now do you give your goodly attention to this goodly company, which is a good one, and to good people 1 The Prologue) It is generally supposed that this Prologue, with the exception of the last two lines, was not written by Plautus; it is, however, of great antiquity, and is found in most of the MSS. brings this day good things. Ears, eyes, and understanding, shall be amply filled. He that comes hungry or thirsty to the theatre, the same shall carefully give his attention both through laughter and a sharpened stomach; while those who are full will laugh, the hungry will be carping. Now, if you are wise, you hungry ones, give place, and go away; you who are full, stand-aye, sit you down, and give attention. I shall not now divulge the plot, nor yet the name of this play-Pseudolus will fully do that. I imagine then and I think that this is enough which I have said to you. Where mirth, jokes, laughter, wine, and jollity, are the order of the day, the Graces, too, and propriety, joyousness, and delight; he who seeks for other things, that person appears to seek for evil. Away, then, with evil cares, as being men at your ease this day. 'Tis better for your loins to be stretched1, and for you to arise. A long play of Plautus is coming upon the stage. ACT I.-SCENE I. Enter CALIDORUS and PSEUDOLUS from SIMO's house. PSEUD. If, master, by your being silent, I could be informed what miseries are afflicting you so sadly, I would willingly have spared the trouble of two persons-of myself in asking you, and of yourself in answering me. Since, however, that cannot be, necessity compels me to enquire of you. Answer me: What's the reason that, out of spirits for these many days past, you've been carrying a letter about with you, washing it with your tears, and making no person the sharer of your purpose? Speak out, that what I am ignorant of, I may know together with yourself. CAL. I am wretchedly miserable, Pseudolus. PSEUD. May Jupiter forbid it! CAL. This belongs not at all to the arbitration of Jupiter; under the sway of Venus am I harassed, not under that of Jove. 1 Loins to be stretched)—Ver. 14. In the sitting position, the muscles of the loins are contracted; hence the present expression. 2 Under the sway of Venus)-Ver. 15. The youth of both sexes, from the tenth to the eighteenth year, were supposed to be under the dominion of Venus, to whom they offered their clothes, dolls, and toys, on arriving at puberty. PSEUD. Is it allowable for me to know what it is? For hitherto you have had me as chief confidant in your plans. CAL. The same is now my intention. PSEUD. Let me know then what's the matter with you. I'll aid you either with resources, or with my efforts, or with good counsel. CAL. Do you take this letter: do you thence inform yourself what misery and what care are wasting me away. PSEUD. (taking the letter). Compliance shall be given you. But, prithee, how's this? CAL. What's the matter? PSEUD. As I think, these letters are very loving; they are climbing on each other's backs. CAL. Are you making sport of me with your foolery? PSEUD. I' faith, I really do believe that unless the Sibyl1 can read them, nobody else can possibly interpret them. CAL. Why speak you unkindly of those sweet letters— sweet tablets too, written upon by a hand as sweet. PSEUD. Troth now, have hens, prithee, such hands? For certainly a hen has written these letters.. CAL. You are annoying me. the letter. Either read it or return PSEUD. Very well then, I'll read it through. Give me your attention. CAL. That's not here. PSEUD. Do you summon it then. CAL. Well, I'll be silent; do you summon it from that wax there2; for there my attention is at present, not in my breast. PSEUD. I see your mistress, Calidorus. CAL. Where is she, prithee? PSEUD. See, here she is at full length in the letter; she's lying upon the wax. CAL. Now, may the Gods and Goddesses, inasmuch- 3 1 Unless the Sibyl)—Ver. 25. The Sibyl, being gifted with prophecy, might know the meaning of that which could not be read. The 23rd line has been somewhat modified in the translation. 2 From that wax there)-Ver. 33. Allusion is here made to the wax with which the surface of the tablet was covered, and on which the writing was traced with the iron "stylus." 3 Inasmuch)-Ver. 37. He is going to say, "may the Divinities confound you;" which anathema Pseudolus adroitly turns aside, and refrains from further provoking his master. S |