That makes a ftill-fand, running neither way. 1 SCENE VII. Tavern in Eastcheap. Enter two Drawers. [Exeunt. WHAT the devil haft thou brought Draw. W there? Apple-Johns? thou know'It Sir John cannot endure an Apple-John. 2 Draw. Mafs! thou fayeft true; the Prince once fet a difh of Apple-Johns before him, and told him there were five more Sir Johns; and, putting off his hat, faid, I will now take my leave of these fix dry, round, old, wither'd knights. It anger'd him to the heart; but he hath forgot that. I Draw. Why then cover, and fet them down; and fee if thou can't find out Sneak's noife; Mrs. Tear Sheet I would fain hear fome mufick. f Difpatch! the room where they fupt is too hot, they'll come in ftrait. 2 Draw. Sirrah, here will be the Prince, and Master Poins anon; and they will put on two of our jerkins and aprons, and Sir John muft not know of it. Bardolph hath brought word. 1 Draw. Then here will be old † Utis: it will be an excellent ftratagem. 2 Draw. I'll fee if I can find out Sneak. f This period is from the firft edition. [Exeunt. SCENE Utis, an old word yet in ufe in fome counties, fignifying a merry feftival, from the French Huit; octo, ab A S. Ĕahta. Octave Fefti alicujus. Skinner. Hoft. Sweet heart, methinks now you are in an ex2 cellent good temperality; your pulfidge beats as extraordinarily as heart would defire; and your colour, I warrant you, is as red as any rofe: but you have drank too much canary, and that's a marvellous fearching wine; and it perfumes the blood ere we can fay what's this. How do you now? Dol. Better than I was hem, Hoft. Why, that was well faid: a good heart's worth gold. Look, here comes Sir John. Enter Falltaff. Fal. When Arthur first in court dan Dol? empty the jor and was a worthy King: how now, Mrs. Hoft. Sick of a calm: yea, good footh. Fal. So is all her feet, if they be once in a calm they are fick. Dol. You muddy rafcal, is that all the comfort you give me? Fal. You make fat rafcals, Mrs. Dol. Dol. I make them! gluttony and diseases make them, I make them not. Fal. If the cook make the gluttony, you help to make the difeafes, Dol; we catch of you, Dol, we catch of you; grant that, my poor vertue, grant that. Dol. Ay marry, our chains and our jewels. Fal. Your brooches,. pearls and owches: for to ferve bravely, is to come halting off, you know; to come off the breach with his pike bent bravely, and to furgery bravely; to venture upon the charg'd chambers bravely Dol.. tbrooches, were chains of gold that women wore formerly about their necks. Owches were boffes of gold fet with diamonds. Dol. Hang your felf, you muddy Conger, hang your felf! Hoft. By my troth, this is the old fashion; you two never meet but you fall to fome difcord; you are both, in good troth, as rheumatick as two dry toafts, you cannot one bear with another's confirmities. What the good-year? one muft bear, and that must be you: you are the weaker veffel, as they fay, the veffel. emptier [To Dol. Dol. Can a weak empty veffel bear fuch a huge full hogfhead? there's a whole merchant's venture of Bourdeaux stuff in him; you have not seen a hulk better stuft in the hold. Come, I'll be friends with thee, Jack: thou art going to the wars, and whether I fhall ever fee thee again or no, there is no body cares. SCENE IX. Enter Drawer. Draw. Sir, antient Piftol is below, and would speak with you. Dol. Hang him, fwaggering rafcal, let him not come hither; it is the foul-mouth'dit rogue in England. Hoft. If he fwagger, let him not come here: no by my faith: I must live amongst my neighbours, I'll no fwaggerers: I am in good name and fame with the ve ry beft: fhut the door, there comes no fwaggerers here: I have not liv'd all this while to have fwaggering now: fhut the door, I pray you. Fal. Do'st thou hear, hoftefs Hoft. Pray you pacifie your felf, Sir John, there comes no fwaggerers here. Fal. Do'st thou hear- -it is mine Ancient. Hoft. Tilly-fally, Sir John, never tell me, your an eient fwaggerer comes not in my doors. I was before mafter Tifick the deputy the other day; and as he faid it was no longer ago than Wednesday lastneighbour Quickly, fays he,mafter Domb our mi nifter was by then;neighbour Quickly, fays he, to me receive receive thofe that are civil; for, faith he, you are in an ill name: now he faid fo, I can tell whereupon; for, fays he, you are an honest woman, and well thought on, therefore take heed what guests you receive: receive, fays he, no fwaggering companions. There come none here. You would bless you to hear what he said. No, I'll no fwaggerers. Fal. He's no fwaggerer, hoftefs; a tame cheater, i' faith; you may ftroak him as gently as a puppey-greyhound; he will not fwagger with a Barbary hen, if her feathers turn back in any fhew of refiftance. Call him. up, drawer. Hoft. Cheater, call you him? I will bar no honeft man my house, nor no cheater; but I do not love fwaggering; I am the worfe when one fays fwagger : feel, mafters, how I fhake, look you, I warrant you. Dol. So you do, hoftefs. Hoft. Do I yea, in very truth do I, as if it were an afpen leaf: I cannot abide (waggerers. Enter Piftol, Bardolph and Page. Piß. Save you, Sir John. Fal. Welcome, ancient Piftol. Here, Piftol, I charge you with a cup of fack: do you discharge upon mine hoftefs. Pift. I will difcharge upon her, Sir John, with two bullets. Fal. She is piftol proof, Sir, you fhall hardly offend her. Hoft. Come, I'll drink no proofs, nor no bullets : I will drink no more than will do me good, for no man's pleasure, I. Pift. Then to you, Miftrefs Dorothy, I will charge you. Dol. Charge me! I fcorn you, fcurvy companion! what? you poor, bafe, rafcally, cheating, lack-linnen mate; away, you mouldy rogue, away, I am meat for your master. Pift. Pift. I know you, miftrefs Dorothy. Dol. Away, you cut-purfe rafcal, you filthy bung away by this wine, I'll thruft my knife in your mouldy chaps if you play the fawcy cuttle with me.' Away you bottle-ale rafcal, you basket-hilt ftale jugler you. Since when, I pray you, Sir? what, with two points on your fhoulder much. Pift. I will murther your ruff for this. g Fal. No more, Piftol; I wou'd not have you go off here: discharge your felf of our company, Piftol. Hoft. No, good captain Piftol: not here, fweet cap tain. Dol. Captain thou abominable damn'd cheater, art thou not afham'd to be call'd captain? if captains were of my mind they would truncheon you outh of taking their names upon you, before you have earn'd them. You a captain! you flave! for what? for tearing a poor whore's ruff in a bawdy houfe he a captain hang him, rogue, he lives upon mouldy ftew'd prunes and dry'd cakes. A captain these villains will make the word captain i as odious as the word occupy; which was an excellent good word before it was ill forted therefore captains had need look to it. Bard. Pray thee go down, good Ancient. Pift. Not I: I tell thee what, corporal Bardolph, I could tear her I'll be reveng'd on her. Page. Pray thee go down. Pift. I'll fee her damn'd first: to Pluto's damned lake, to the infernal deep, where Erebus and tortures vile alfo. Hold hook and line, fay I: down.! down dogs, down fates have we not Hiren here? Hoft. Good captain Peefel be quiet, it is very late: I befeech you now, aggravate your choler. Pift. Thefe be good humours indeed. Shall packhorfes And hollow-pamper'd jades of Asia, Which cannot go but thirty miles a day, This is from the old edition, 1600: Com h for. |