But I persuaded them, if they lov'd Benedick, Urs. Why did you so? Doth not the gentle man Deserve as full, as fortunate a bed, Hero. O God of love! I know, he doth de serve As much as may be yielded to a man: All matter else seems weak: she cannot love, Urs. Sure, I think so; And therefore, certainly, it were not good How wise, how noble, young, how rarely featur'd, But she would spell him backward: if fair faced, If speaking, why, a vane blown with all winds; Urs. Sure, sure, such carping is not commendable. Hero. No: not to be so odd, and from all fashions, As Beatrice is, cannot be commendable: say. Hero. No; rather I will go to Benedick, She cannot be so much without true judgment, a Urs. I pray you be not angry with me, madam, Speaking my fancy; signior Benedick, Hero. Indeed he hath an excellent good name. Urs. His excellence did earn it, ere he had it. When are you married, madam? Hero. Why, every day ;-to-morrow: Come, go in ; I'll show thee some attires; and have thy counsel, Hero If it prove so, then loving goes by haps: Some Cupid kills with arrows, some with traps. [Exeunt HERO and URSULA. BEATRICE advances. Beat. What fire is in mine ears? Can this be true? Stand I condemn'd for pride and scorn so much? Contempt, farewell! and maiden pride, adieu! [Exit. SCENE 11.-A room in LEONATO's House. Enter Don PEDRO, CLAUDIO, BENEDICK, and LEONATO. D. Pedro. I do but stay till your marriage be consummate, and then I go toward Arragon. Claud. I'll bring you thither, my lord, if you'll vouchsafe me. D. Pedro. Nay, that would be as great a soil in the new gloss of your marriage, as to show a child his new coat, and forbid him to wear it. I will only be bold with Benedick for his company; for, from the crown of his head to the sole of his foot, he is all mirth; he hath twice or thrice cut Cupid's bow-string, and the little hangman dare not shoot at him; he bath a heart as sound as a bell, and his tongue is the clapper; for what his heart thinks, his tongue speaks. Bene. Gallants, I am not as I have been. D. Pedro. Hang him, truant; there's no true drop of blood in him, to be truly touch'd with love if he be sad, he wants money. Bene. I have the tooth-ach. D. Pedro. Draw it. Bene. Hang it ! Claud. You must hang it first, and draw it afterwards. D. Pedro. What? sigh for the tooth-ach ? Leon. Where is but a humour, or a worm? Bene. Well, every one can master a grief, but he that has it. Claud. Yet say I, he is in love. D. Pedro. There is no appearance of fancy in him, unless it be a fancy that he bath to strange disguises; as, to be a Dutchman to-day; a Frenchman to-morrow; or in the shape of two countries at once, as, a German from the waist downward, all slops; and a Spaniard from the hip upward, no doublet: Unless he have a fancy to this foolery, as it appears he hath, he is no fool for fancy, as you would have it appear he is. Claud. If he be not in love with some woman,, there is no believing old signs: he brushes his bat o' mornings; What should that bode ? D. Pedro. Hath any man seen him at the barber's? Claud. No, but the barber's man bath been seen with him; and the old ornament of his cheek hath already stuffed tennis-balls. Leon. Indeed, he looks younger than he did, by the loss of a beard. D. Pedro. Nay, he rubs himself with civet: Can you smell him out by that? Claud. That's as much as to say, The sweet youth's in love. D. Pedro. The greatest note of it is bis melancholy. Claud. And when was he wont to wash his face? D. Pedro. Yea, or to paint himself? for the which, I hear what they say of him. Claud. Nay, but bis jesting spirit; which is now crept into a lutestring, and now governed by stops. Large loose breeches D. Pedro. Indeed, that tells a heavy tale for him: Conclude, conclude, he is in love. Claud. Nay, but I know who loves him. D. Pedro. That would I know too; I warrant, Ioue that knows him not. Claud. Yes, and his ill conditions; and, in despite of all, dies for him. D. Pedro. She shall be buried with her face upwards. Bene. Yet is this no charm for the tooth-ach. -Old Signior, walk aside with me: I have studied eight or nine wise words to speak to you, which these hobby-horses must not hear, [Exeunt BENEDICK and LEONATO. D. Pedro. For my life, to break with him about Beatrice. Claud. 'Tis even so: Hero and Margaret have by this played their parts with Beatrice; and then the two bears will not bite one another, when they meet. Enter Don JOHN. D. John. My lord and brother, God save you. D. John. If your leisure served, I would speak with you. D. Pedro. In private ? D. John. If it please you :-yet count Claudio may hear; for what I would speak of, concerns him. D. Pedro. What's the matter? D. John. Means your lordship to be married to-morrow? [To CLAUDIO. D. Pedro. You know, he does. D. John. I know not that, when he knows what I know. Claud. If there be any impediment, I pray you, discover it. D. John. You may think, I love you not; let that appear hereafter, and aim better at me by that I now will manifest: For my brother, I think, he holds you well; and in dearness of heart hath holp to effect your ensuing marriage: surely suit ill spent, and labour ill bestowed! D. Pedro. Why, what's the matter? D. John. I came hither to tell you; and, circumstances shortened, (for she hath been too long a talking of,) the lady is disloyal. Claud. Who? Hero? D. John. Even she; Leonato's Hero, your Hero, every man's Hero. Claud. Disloyal? D. John. The word is too good to paint out her wickedness; I could say, she were worse; think you of a worse title, and I will fit her to it. Wonder not till further warrant: go but with me to-night, you shall see her chamber window entered, even the night before her wed ding-day if you love her then, to-morrow wed her; but it would better fit your honour to change your mind. Claud. May this be so? D. Pedro. I will not think it. SCENE III-A Street. Enter DOG BERRY and VERGES, with the Dogb. Are you good men and true! Dogb. Nay, that were a punishment too good for them, if they should have any allegiance in them, being chosen for the prince's watch. Verg. Well, give them their charge, neighbour Dogberry. Dogb. First, who think you the most desartless man to be constable ? 1 Watch. Hugh Oatcake, Sir, or George Stacoal; for they can write and read. Dogb. Come hither, neighbour Seacoal. God bath blessed you with a good name: to be a webfavoured man is the gift of fortune; but to writ and read comes by nature. 2 Watch. Both which, master constable,-Dogb. You have; I knew it would be your asswer. Well, for your favour, Sir, why, give God thanks, and make no boast of it: and for year writing and reading, let that appear when there is no need of such vanity. Your are the here to be the most senseless and fit man for the constable of the watch; therefore bear you the lantern: This is your charge; You shall come bend all vagrom men: you are to bid any stand, in the prince's name. 2 Watch. How if he will not stand! Dogb. Why then, take no note of him, but let him go; and presently call the rest of the watch together, and thank God you are rid of a knave. Verg. If he will not stand when be is hidden, he is none of the prince's subjects. Dogb. True, and they are to meddle with none but the prince's subjects:-You shall als make no noise in the streets; for, for the wach to babble and talk, is most tolerable and set i be endured. 2 Watch. We will rather sleep than talk; we know what belongs to a watch. Dogb. Why, you speak like an ancient and most quiet watchman; for I cannot see b sleeping should offend: only, have a care that your bills be not stolen :-Well, you are to call at all the ale-houses, and bid those that are drank get them to bed. 2 Watch. How if they will not! Dogb. Why then, let them alone till they are sober; if they make you not then the better swer, you may say, they are not the men you look them for. 2 Watch. Well, Sir. Dogb. If you meet a thief, you may suspect him, by virtue of your office, to be no true san and, for such kind of men, the less you mede or make with them, why, the more is for your honesty. 2 Watch. If we know him to be a thief, shall we not lay bands on him? Dogb. Truly, by your office you may; bat! think, they that touch pitch will be defiled: the confess not that you know if you will follow is, to let him show himself what he is, and steal D. John. If you dare not trust that you see, most peaceable way for you, if you take a thief, me, I will show you enough; and when you have seen more, and heard more, proceed cordingly. ac Claud. If I see any thing to night why I out of your company. Verg. You have been always called a merciful man, partner. Dogb. Truly, I would not hang a dog by in him. should not marry her to-morrow; in the con- will; much more a man who hath any bonesty gregation, where I should wed, there will I shame her. D. Pedro. And, as I wooed for thee to obtain her, I will join with thee to disgrace her. D. John. I will disparage her no farther, till you are my witnesses: bear it coldly but till midnight, and let the issue show itself. D. Pedro. O day untowardly turned! [Exeunt.] Verg. If you hear a child cry in the night, 2 Watch. How if the nurse be asleep, and will not hear us. child wake her with crying: for the ewe that Dogb. Why then, depart in peace, and let the will not hear her lamb when it baes, will never answer a calf when it bleats. Verg. 'Tis very true. • Weapons of the watchmen Dogb. This is the end of the charge. You, tale vilely:-I should first tell thee, how the constable, are to present the prince's own person; prince, Claudio, and my master, planted, and if you meet the prince in the night, you may stay placed, and possessed by my master Don John, saw afar off in the orchard this amiable en him. Verg. Nay by'r lady, that, I think, he can-counter. Dogb. Five shillings to one on't, with any man that knows the statutes, he may stay him: marry, not without the prince be willing: for, indeed, the watch ought to offend no man; aud it is an offence to stay a man against his will. Verg. By'r lady, I think, it be so. Dogb. Ha, ha, ha! Well, masters, good night: an there be any matter of weight chances, call up me keep your fellows' counsels and your own, aud good night.-Come, neighbour. 2 Watch. Well, masters, we hear our charge: let us go sit here upon the church-bench till two, and then all to bed. Dogb. One word more, honest neighbours: I pray you, watch about signior Leonato's door; for the wedding being there to-morrow, there is a great coil to-night: Adieu, be vigitant, I beseech you. [Exeunt DOG BERRY and VERGES. Bora. What! Conrade,- Bora. Conrade, I say! Con. And thought they, Margaret was Hero? Bora. Two of them did, the prince and Claudio; but the devil my master knew she was Margaret; and partly by his oaths, which first possessed thein, partly by the dark night, which did deceive thein, but chiefly by my villany, which did confirm auy slander that Don John had made, away went Claudio enraged; swore he would meet her as he was appointed, next morning at the temple, and there, before the whole congregation, shame her with what he saw over-night, and send her home again without a husband. 1 Watch. We charge you in the prince's name, stand. 2 Watch. Call up the right master constable : We have here recovered the most dangerous piece of lechery that ever was known in the cominonwealth. 1 Watch. And one Deformed is one of them; I know him, he wears a lock. Con. Masters, masters. 2 Watch. You'll be made bring Deformed [Aside. forth, I warrant you. Con. Here, man, I am at thy elbow. Bora. Mass, and my elbow itched; I thought, there would a scab follow. Con. I will owe thee an answer for that; and now forward with thy tale. Bora. Stand thee close then under this penthouse, for it drizzles rain; and I will, like a true drunkard, utter all to thee. Watch. [Aside.] Some treason, masters; yet stand close. Bora. Therefore know, I have earned of Don John a thousand ducats. Con. Is it possible that any villany should be so dear? Bora. Thou should'st rather ask, if it were possible any villany should be so rich; for when rich villains have need of poor ones, poor ones may make what price they will. Con. I wonder at it. Bora. That shows thou art unconfirmed: • Bora. I mean, the fashion. Con. Yes, the fashion is the fashion. Bora. Tush! I may as well say, the fool's the fool. But see'st thou not what a deformed thief this fashion is ? Watch. I know that Deformed; he has been a vile thief this seven year; he goes up and down like a gentleman: I remember his name. Dora. Didst thou not hear somebody? Con. No; 'twas the vane on the house. Boru. Seest thou not, I say, what a deformed thief this fashion is? how giddily he turns about all the hot bloods, between fourteen and five and thirty? sometimes fashioning them like Pharaoh's soldiers in the reechy painting; sometime, like god Bel's priests in the old church window; sometine, like the shaven Hercules in the smirched; worm-eaten tapestry,where the codpiece seems as massy as his club? Con. Masters, 1 Watch. Never speak; we charge you, let us obey you to go with us. Bora. We are like to prove a goodly cominodity, being taken up of these men's bills. Con. A commodity in question, I warrant you. Come, we'll obey you. [Exeunt. SCENE IV.-A Room in LEONATO's House. Enter HERO, MARGARET, and URSULA. Hero. Good Ursula, wake my cousin Beatrice, and desire her to rise. Urs. I will, my lady. Hero. And bid her come hither. [Exit URSULA. Marg. Troth, I think, your other robato were better. Hero. No, pray thee, good Meg, I'll wear this. Marg. By my troth, it's not so good; and I warrant, your cousin will say so. Hero. My cousin's a fool, and thou art another; I'll wear none but this. Marg. I like the new tire+ within excellently, if the hair were a thought browner; and your gown's a most rare fashion, i'faith. I saw the duchess of Milan's gown, that they praise so. Hero. Oh! that exceeds, they say. Marg. By my troth, it's but a night-gown in respect of your's: Cloth of gold, and cuts, and laced with silver; set with pearls, down sleeves, side sleeves, and skirts round, underborne with a blueish tinsel: but for a fine, quaint, graceful, and excellent fashion, your's is worth ten on't. Hero. God give me joy to wear it, for my heart is exceeding heavy! Marg. Twill be heavier soon, by the weight of a man. Hero. Fie upon thee! art not ashamed? Marg. Of what, lady? of speaking honourCon. All this I see and see that the fashionably? Is not marriage honourable in a beggar? wears out more apparel than the man: But art Is not your lord honourable without marriage? not thou thyself giddy with the fashion too, that I think, you would have me say, saving your thou hast shifted out of thy tale into telling me reverence,-a husband: an bad thinking do not of the fashion? wrest true speaking, I'll offend nobody: Is Bora. Not so, neither: but know, that I have there any harin in-the heavier for a husband? to-night wooed Margaret, the lady Hero's gen-None, I think, an it be the right husband, and tlewoman, by the name of Hero: she leans the right wife; otherwise 'tis light, and not me out at her mistress's chamber window, bids heavy: Ask my lady Beatrice else, here she me a thousand times good night,-I tell this comes. + Smoked. Uupractised in the ways of the world. A kind of ruff. + Head-dress. Long-sleeves. Beat. I am out of all other tune, methinks. Marg. Clap us into-Light o' love; that goes without burden; do you sing it, and I'll dance it. Beat. Yea, Light o' love, with your heels!— then if your husband have stables enough, you'll see he shall lack no barus. Marg. O illegitimate construction! I scorn that with my heels. Beat. 'Tis almost five o'clock, cousin; 'tis time you were ready. By my troth, I am exceeding ill:-bey ho! Marg. For a hawk, a horse, or a husband? Beat. For the letter that begins them all, H. Marg. Well, an you be not turned Turk, no more sailing by the star. Beat. What means the fool, trow? Marg. Nothing 1; but God send every one their heart's desire ! Hero. These gloves the count sent me, they are an excellent perfume. Beat. I am stuffed, cousin, I cannot smell. Marg. A maid, and stuffed! there's goodly catching of cold. Beat. O God help me! God help me! how long have you profess'd apprehension ? Marg. Ever since you left it: doth not my wit become me rarely? Beat. It is not seen enough, you should wear it in your cap.-By my troth, I am sick. Marg. Get you some of this distilled Carduns Benedictus, and lay it to your heart; it is the only thing for a qualm. Hero. There thou prick'st her with a thistle. Beat. Benedictus! why Benedictus? you have some moral in this Benedictus. Marg. Moral? no, by my troth, I have no moral meaning; I meant, plain holy-thistle. You may think, perchance, that I think you are in love nay, by'r lady, I am not such a fool to think what I list; nor I list not to think what I can; nor, indeed, I cannot think, if I would think my heart out of thinking, that you are in love, or that you will be in love, or that you can be in love: yet Benedick was such another, and now is he become a man: he swore he would never marry; and yet now, in despite of his heart, he eats his meat without grudging: and how you may be converted, I know not, but me. thinks, you look with your eyes as other women do. Beat. What pace is this that thy tongue keeps ? Marg. Not a false gallop. his wits are the matter: an old man, Sir, and not so blunt, as, God help, I would desire they were; but, in faith, honest, as the skin between his brows. Verg. Yes, I thank God, I am as honest as any man living, that is an old man, and ne honester than I. Dogb. Comparisons are odorous: palabras, neighbour Verges. Leon. Neighbours, you are tedious. Dogb. It pleases your worship to say so, bet we are the poor duke's officers: but, trais, far mine own part, if I were as tedious as a king, I could find in my heart to bestow it all of your worship. Leon. All thy tediousness on me! ha! Dogb. Yea, and 'twere a thousand times more than 'tis; for I bear as good exclamation on your worship, as of any man in the cay; and though I be but a poor man, I am glad to hear it. Verg. And so am I. Leon. I would fain know what you have to say. Verg. Marry, Sir, our watch to-night, excepting your worship's presence, have talen a couple of as arrant knaves as any in Messina. Dogb. A good old man, Sir; he will be talking; as they say, When the age is in, the wit is out; God help us! it is a world to see! Well said, 'faith, neighbour Verges :—well, God's a good man; an two men ride of a horse, one must ride behind :-Au bonest soul, i’taith, Sir; by my troth he is, as ever broke bread: but, God is to be worshipped: All men are not alike; alas, good neighbour ! Leon. Indeed, neighbour, he comes too short of you. Dogb. Gifts that God gives. Leon. I must leave you. Dogb. One word, Sir: our watch, Sir, have, indeed, comprehended two auspicions persons, and we would have them this morning examined before your worship. Leon. Take their examination yourself, and bring it me; I am now in great haste, as it may appear unto you. Dogb. It shall be suffigance. Leon. Drink some wine ere you go: fare you well. Leon. To be married to her, friar; you come to marry her. Friar. Lady, you come hither to be married to this couut? Hero. I do. Friar, If either of you know any inward im pediment why you should not be conjoined, I charge you, on your souls, to utter it. Claud. Know you any, Hero? Friar. Know you any, count? Leon. I dare make his answer, none. Claud. Oh! what men dare do! what men may do what men daily do! not knowing what they do! Bene. How now! Interjections? Why, then some be of laughing, as lia! ha! he? Claud. Stand thee by, friar ;-Father, Will you with free and unconstrained soul by Leon. As freely, son, as God did give her Behold, how like a maid she blushes here: Leon. What do you mean, my lord? Not knit my soul to an approved wanton. Have vanquish'd the resistance of her youth, Claud. I know what you would say; If I have known her, You'll say, she did embrace me as a husband, I never tempted her with word too large; + Hero. And seem'd I ever otherwise to you? Claud. Out on thy seeming! I will write against it: You seem to me as Dian in her orb ; Hero. Is my lord well that he doth speak so wide ?! D. Pedro. Why, then are you no maiden.-- I am sorry you must hear; Upon mine honour, D. John. Fie, fie! they are Not to be nam'd, my lord, not to be spoke of; There is not chastity enough in language, Without offence, to utter them: Thus, pretty lady, I am sorry for thy much misgovernment. If half thy outward graces had been placed well, Thou pure impiety, and impious purity! sink you down? D. John. Come, let us go: these things come thus to light, Smother her spirits up. [Exeunt Don PEDRO, Don JOHN, and CLAUDIO. Bene. How doth the lady? Beat. Dead, I think;-help, uncle ; Hero! why, Hero!-Uncle - Signior dick!-iriar! Bene Friar. Have comfort, lady? Friar. Yea; Wherefore should she not? earthly thing Why, doth not every Cry shame upon her? Could she here deny shames, Myself would, on the rearward of reproaches, |