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yesterday; but, that it must be daily waited for,
A renewed call to faithfulness this morning at our silent meeting : the afternoon dull and heavy in the forepart; but towards the close life arose into a good degree of dominion.
17. Dear uncle Kidd spent the day with us; the first visit he has paid I believe for near a twelvemonth. His quiet, peaceful frame of mind was instructive and encouraging.
20. The rest of this week hath passed serenely away; I would hope not wholly unimproved. How many blessings have I to be thankful for!
A degree of favour attended both meetings, and I trust a degree of right exercise was for a season maintained in each of them ; but think I did not keep so faithfully on my watch as I should have done, particularly in the evening.'
25. Have seemed left to myself, and as a prey to the cruel enemy for several days past; yet have been enabled at times to bemoan my condition, being ready to conclude there are few if any more propense to evil: humbling consideration indeed!
26. Sat down at meeting this morning under the belief that I was altogether unworthy of divine regard, or of approaching Him who is perfect Purity; yet after sitting a while in this reduced state before him, he was pleased in wondrous love and mercy to stretch forth the sceptre of his love, and once nore permit me to praise his holy name, who is eternally worthy,
EIGHTH MONTH, 1799.
Seemed uncommonly lukewarm and indifferent on sitting down at meeting, to which I too much yielded for a while ; but after some struggle, was favoured with near access to the inexhaustible Source of all good.
6. Have been led to ponder on the depravity of the human heart, and particularly of my own; believing few if any have more propensity to evil; also led to call to mind the gracious dealings of merciful, long-suffering God, who hath sustained me and preserved me unto this very hour. O, that he would also be pleased to give additional stability, that I may be enabled to walk before him with a perfect heart.
9. A time of searching of heart to-day at meeting, a profitable employ! I think I love to bring my deeds to the light, and feel all the evil brought into judgment, and sit under the purifying operations of the Spirit of truth : 0, may I be careful to keep my garments from defilement.
15. Brother Tothill came, and brought with him a little good tidings respecting the labours of David Sands.
18. Our general meeting at Guildford. My mind measurably gathered to the true centre, in the morning. In the afternoon, I thought, we sat down a poor little company.
The poor sol
diere was present, which brought an awful fear over me, lest he should be turned aside by observing unwatchfulness and a lukewarm disposition prevail ; and the prayer and exercise of mý heart was that we might all, both he and be preserved in our different allotments and found faithful therein.
25. My mind much tossed this morning at meeting : the way proved deeply humbling and instructive.
30. Was renewedly desirous that my dwelling might ever be in the low vale of humility, where the dew resteth.
NINTH MONTH, 1799.
6. A day of profitable humiliation, I trust. ] desire to prize every dispensation that tends to reduce self, however hard to the natural part.
7. Still learning the hard lesson of suffering patiently.
Many are the cogitations of my poor mind, sometimes unprofitable : at others pure desires after more stability and holy circumspection in thought, word, and deed, prevail.
15. Could set up my Ebenezer and say, Hitherto hath the Lord helped me. For ever blessed be his name! In the afternoon the dreadful end of the
* A soldier quartered at Guildford, who frequented the meetings of friends, and appeared under convincement.
hypocrite impressed my mind, with strong desires that I might be preserved from it. * 20.
Rather a low time at meeting this morn. ing, yet have felt a comfortable degree of quiet. for several days past.
22. A time of conflict this morning, in which. I hope the enemy gained but little advantage. The afternoon proved, contrary to expectation, a refreshing season.
27. Gave way to a roving disposition the forepart of the meeting, which produced shame and remorse, and the language of the poor publican, “God be merciful to me a sinner.”
29. Lowliness and fear were in a good degree the companions of my mind this day.
TENTH MONTH, 1799.
7. Went to. Ryegate to our quarterly meeting. I think the meetings were favoured seasons; though cause of discouragement still remains.. The committee (John Abbott excepted) were there, also Phebe Speakman and companion. .Met with an accident on our return, but were preserved from harm: which I esteemed a favour.
A time of sweet solace this morning at. meeting. My soul panted after the refreshing streams of Shiloh; and was abundantly replenished. Unspeakable mercy !
17. Phebe Speakman and Mary Townsend
left us: a day of no small trial to my feelingsö Seeing the depression the said friends were under, M. T. wishing to return home, and P. S. unwilling to deta n her, I thought myself called upon to offer to accompany the latter for a few weeks as a servant. The sacrifice is offered, whether it will be accepted is yet uncertain.
20. Was renewedly desirous that I might be preserved in a single dependance on the Lord in my approaching journey, for preservation every way, and have no confidence in the flesh; believing that those who trust in the Lord shall never be confounded.
24. Parted with my beloved connexions, which was trying ; yet felt peaceful, which induces me to believe that I am in my right place. Reached Chichester this evening, where I met with dear P. S. who appeared glad to see me.
26. Left our kind friends at Chichester, and reached Alton in the evening..
27. Attended both meetings, which were measurably favoured with the descendings of heavenly dew. I thought P. S. appeared exceliently.
28. Parted with my dear sister, and came to Basingstoke. Was desirous that I might be preserved in humility and fear; and that my deportment might not in any degree disgrace the cause, dear P.S. is engaged so earnestly to promote.
30. Was at the week-day meeting at Whitchurch, a little company indeed ; yet methought the crook of divine love was afresh extended in