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of Ford's knaves, his binds, were called forth by their mistress, to carry me in the name of foul clothes to Datchet-lane: they took me on their shoulders; met the jealous knave, their master, in the door; who asked them once or twice what they had in their basket: I quaked for fear, lest the luna. tic knave would have searched it; but Fate, ordain. ing he should be a cuckold, held his hand. Well: on went he for a search, and away went I for foul clothes. But mark the sequel, master Brook: I suffered the pangs of three several deaths: first, an intolerable fright, to be detected with a jealous rotten bell.wether: next, to be con passed like a good bilbo*, in the circumference of a peck, hilt to point, heel to head : and then, lo be stopped in, like a strong distillation, with stinking clothes that fret. ted in their own grease: think of that,-a man of my kidney, think of that; that am as subject to heat as butter; a man of continual dissolution and thaw; it was a miracle to 'scape suffocation. And in the height of this bath, when I was more than half stewed in grease, like a Dutch dish, to be thrown into the Thames, and cooled, glowing hot, in that surge, like a horse-shoe; think of that;-hissing hot, -think of that, master Brook.

Ford. In good sadnesst, sir, I am sorry that for my sake you have suffered all this. My suit then is desperate; you'll undertake her no more.

Fal. Master Brook, I will be thrown into Ætna, as I have been into the Thames, ere I will leave her thus. Her husband is this morning gone a birding : I have received from her another embassy of meeting; 'twixt eight and nine is the hour, master Brook.

Ford. 'Tis past eight already, sir.

Fal. Is it? I will then address me to my appoint. ment. Come to me at your convenient leisure, and you shall know how I speed; aud the conclusion

* Bilboa, where the best blades are made. + Seriousness.

Make myself ready.

shall be crowned with your enjoying her: adieu. You shall have her, master Brook; master Brook, you shall cuckold Ford.

[Erit. Ford. Hum! ha! is this a vision ? is this a dream? do I sleep? Master Ford, awake; awake, master Ford; there's a hole made in your best coat, master Ford. This 'tis to be married! this 'tis to have linen, and buck-baskets !-Well, I will proclaim myself what I am: I will now take the lecher; he is at my house: he cannot 'scape me; 'tis impossible he should; he cannot creep into a half-penny purse, nor into a pepper-box: but, lest the devil that guides him should aid him, I will search impossible places. Though what I am I cannot avoid, yet to be what I would not, shall not make me tame: if I have horns to make one mad, let the proverb go with me, I'll be horn mad.


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Enter Mrs. Page, Mrs. Quickly, and William.

Mrs. Page. Is he at master Ford's already, think'st thou?

Quick. Sure he is by this; or will be presently: but truly, he is very courageous* mad, about his throwing into the water. Mistress Ford desires you to come suddenly.

Mrs. Page. I'll be with her by and by; I'll but bring my young man here to school: look, where leis master comes ; 'tis a, I see.

Enter Sir Hugh Evans. How now, sir Hugh? no school to-day?

Eva. No; master Slender is let the boys leave to play.

* Outrageous.

Quick. Blessing of his heart!

Mrs. Page. Sir Hugh, my husband says, my son profits nothing in the world at his book; 1 pray you, ask liim some questions in his accidence.

Eva. Come hither, William; hold up your head; eome.

Mrs. Page. Come on, sirrah; hold up your head ; answer your master, be not afraid.

Eva. William, how many numbers is in nouns? Will. Two.

Quick. Truly, I thought there had been one number more; because they say, od's nouns.

Eva. Peace your tattlings. What is fair, William? Will. Pulcher.

Quick. Poulcats ! there are fairer things than poulcats, sure.

Eva. You are a very simplicity’oman; I pray you, peace. What is lapis, William ?

Will. A stone.
Eva. And what is a stone, William?
Will. A pebble.

Eva. No, it is lapis; I pray you remember ing your prain.

Will. Lapis.

Eva. That is good William. What is he, William, that does lend articles ?

Will. Articles are borrowed of the pronoun; and be thus declined, Singulariter, nominativo, hic, hac, hoc.

Eva. Nominativo, hig, hag, hog; pray you, mark: genitivo, hujus: Well, what is your accusative case ?

Will. Accusativo, hinc.

Eva. I pray you, have your remembrance, child; Accusativo, hing, hang, hog.

Quick. Hang hog is Latin for bacon, I warrant you.

Eva. Leave your prabbles, 'oman. What is the focative case, William ?

Will. 0-Vocativo, 0.
Eva. Remember, William; focative is, caret.

Quick. And that's a good root.
Eva, 'Oman, forbear.
Mrs. Page. Peace.
Eva. What is your genitive case, plural, William
Will. Genitive case ?
Eva. Ay.
Will, Genitive,--horum, harum, horum.

Quick. 'Vengeance of Jenny's case! fie on her! never name her, child, if she be a whore.

Eva. For shame,'oman.

Quick. You do ill to teach the child such words: he teaches him to hick and to hack, which they'll do fast enough of themselves; and to call horum :-fie upon you!

Eva. 'Oman, art thou lunatics? hast thou no un. derstandings for thy cases, and the numbers of the genders ? Thou art as foolish Christian creatures as I would desires.

Mrs. Page. Prythee hold thy peace.

Eva. Show me now, William, some declensions of your pronouns.

Will. Forsooth, I have forgot.

Eva. It is ki, , kod; if you forget your kies, your kæs, and your cods, you must be preeches. Go your ways, and play, go.

Mrs. Page. He is a better scholar, than I thought he was.

Eva. He is a good spragt memory. Farewell, mistress Page.

Mrs. Page. Adieu, good sir Hugh. [Exit Sir Hugh.] Get you home, boy. Come, we stay too long.


• Breeched, i. e. Aogged.

+ Apt to learn.


A room in Ford's house.

Enter Falstaff and Mrs. Ford.

Fal. Mistress Ford, your sorrow hath eaten up my sufferance: I see, you are obsequious in your love, and I profess requital to a hair's breadth ; not only, mistress Ford, in the simple office of love, but in all the accoutrement, coniplement, and ceremony of it. But are you sure of your husband now? · Mrs. Ford. He's a birding, sweet sir John.

Mrs. Page. [Within.) What hoa, gossip Ford ! hạt họa ! Mrs. Ford. Step into the chamber, Sir John.

[Exit Falstaff. Enter Mrs. Page. Mrs. Page. How now, sweetheart? who's at home beside yourself?

Mrs. Ford. Why, none but mine own people.
Mrs. Page. Indeed?
Mrs. Ford. No, certainly;-speak louder. (Aside.

Mrs. Page. Truly, I am so glad you have nobody here.

Mrs. Ford. Why?

Mrs. Page. Why, woman, your husband is in his old lunest again: he so takes on yonder with my husband; so rails against all married mankind; so curses all Eve's daughters, of what complexion soever; and so buffets himself on the forehead, crying, Peer out, peer outf! that any madness I ever yet beheld, seemed but tameness, civility, and patience,

• Sorrowful.

+ Mad fits. As children call on a snail to push forth his horas.

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