eloquent, and full of invention: taunt him with Seb. I am not weary, and 'tis long to night; the license of ink: if thou thou'st him some thrice, I pray you, let us satisfy our eyes it shall not be amiss; and as many lies as will lie With the memorials, and the things of fame, in thy sheet of paper, although the sheet were big That do renown this city. enough for the bed of Ware in England, set 'em down; go, about it. Let there be gall enough in thy ink, though thou write with a goose-pen, no matter: About it. Sir And. Where shall I find you? Sir To. We'll call thee at the cubiculo:2 Go. [Exit Sir Andrew. Fab. This is a dear manikin to you, sir Toby. Sir To. I have been dear to him, lad; some two thousand strong or so. Fab. We shall have a rare letter from him: but you'll not deliver it. Sir To. Never trust me then; and by all means stir on the youth to an answer. I think, oxen and wainropes cannot hale them together. For An- I drew, if he were opened, and you find so much blood in his liver as will clog the foot of a flea, I'll eat the rest of the anatomy. Fab. And his opposite, the youth, bears in his visage no great presage of cruelty. Enter Maria. Sir To. Look, where the youngest wren of nine comes. Mar. If you desire the spleen, and will laugh yourselves into stitches, follow me: yon' gull Malvolio is turned heathen, a very renegado; for there is no Christian, that means to be saved by believing rightly, can ever believe such impossible passages of grossness. He's in yellow stockings. Sir To. And cross-gartered? I Ant. Would, you'd pardon me; Seb. Belike, you slew great number of his people. Do not then walk too open. purse; In the south suburbs, at the Elephant, With viewing of the town; there shall you have me. Ant. Haply, your eye shall light upon some toy You have desire to purchase; and your store, think, is not for idle markets, sir. I Seb. I'll be your purse-bearer, and leave you for and Maria. I do remember. [Exeunt. Mar. Most villanously; like a pedant that keeps a school i' the church.-I have dogged him, like his murderer: he does obey every point of the letter SCENE IV.-Olivia's Garden. Enter Olivia that I dropped to betray him. He does smile his face into more lines, than are in the new map, with the augmentation of the Indies; you have not seen such a thing as 'tis; I can hardly forbear hurling. things at him. I know, my lady will strike him; if she do, he'll smile, and take't for a great favour. Sir To. Come, bring us, bring us where he is. [Exeunt. SCENE III-A street. Enter Antonio and Sebastian. Seb. I would not, by my will, have troubled you; Ant. I could not stay behind you; my desire, Seb. My kind Antonio, I can no other answer make, but, thanks, (1) In Hertfordshire, which held forty persons. How shall I feast him? what bestow on him? I speak too loud. Where is Malvolio?-he is sad, and civil, He does nothing but smile: your ladyship Oli. Go call him hither.-I'm as mad as he, How now, Malvolio? Mal. Sweet lady, ho, ho! [Smiles fantastically. I sent for thee upon a sad" occasion. Mal. Sad, lady? I could be sad: this does make some obstruction in the blood, this cross-gartering: but what of that, if it pleases the eye of one, it is with me as the very true sonnet is: Please one and please all. Oli. Why, how dost thou, man? what is the matter with thee? Mal. Not black in my mind, though yellow in (4) Wealth. (5) Caught. (7) Grave. Mal. Go off; I discard you; let me enjoy my my legs: It did come to his hands, and commands] Oli. Wilt thou go to bed, Malvolio? Mal. To bed? ay, sweet-heart; and I'll come to thee. Oli. God comfort thee! Why dost thou smile so, and kiss thy hand so oft? Mar. How do you, Malvolio? Mal. At your request? Yes; nightingales answer daws. Mar. Why appear you with this ridiculous boldness before my lady? Mal. Be not afraid of greatness:-'Twas well writ. Mal. If not, let me see thee a servant still. Ser. Madam, the young gentleman of the count Orsino's is returned; I could hardly entreat him back; he attends your ladyship's pleasure. Mar. Lo, how hollow the fiend speaks within him! did I not tell you?-Sir Toby, my lady prays you to have a care of him. Mal. Ah, ha! does she so? Sir To. Go to, go to; peace, peace, we must deal gently with him; let me alone. How do you, Malvolio? how is't with you? What, man! defy the devil: consider, he's an enemy to mankind. Mal. Do you know what you say? Mar. La you, an you speak ill of the devil, how he takes it at heart! Pray God, he be not bewitched! Fab. Carry his water to the wise woman. Mar. Marry, and it shall be done to-morrow morning, if I live. My lady would not lose him for more than I'll say. Mal. How now, mistress? Mar. O lord! Mar. No, I warrant you, he will not hear of godliness. Mal. Go, hang yourselves all! you are idle, shallow things: I am not of your element; you shall know more hereafter. Eril. Sir To. Is't possible! I Fab. If this were played upon a stage now, could condemn it as an improbable fiction. Sir To. His very genius hath taken the infection of the device, man. Mar. Nay, pursue him now; lest the device take air, and taint. Fab. Why, we shall make him mad, indeed. Oli. I'll come to him. [Exit Servant.] Good Maria, let this fellow be looked to. Where's my cousin Toby? Let some of my people have a special care of him; I would not have him miscarry for the half of my dowry. [Exit Olivia and Mar. Mal. Oh, ho! do you come near me now? no worse man than sir Toby to look to me? This concurs directly with the letter: she sends him on purpose, that I may appear stubborn to him; for she incites me to that in the letter. Cast the humble slough, says she; be opposite with a kinsman, surly with servants,-let thy tongue tang with arguments Sir To. Come, we'll have him in a dark room, of state,-put thyself into the trick of singularity;—and bound. My niece is already in the belief that and, consequently, sets down the manner how; as, he is mad; we may carry it thus for our pleasure, a sad face, a reverend carriage, a slow tongue, in and his penance, till our very pastime, tired out of the habit of some sir of note, and so forth. I have breath, prompt us to have mercy on him : at which limed her; but it is Jove's doing, and Jove make time, we will bring the device to the bar, and me thankful! And, when she went away now, Let crown thee for a finder of madmen. But see, but see. this fellow be looked to: Fellow! not Malvolio, nor after my degree, but fellow. Why, every thing adheres together; that no dram of a scruple, no scruple of a scruple, no obstacle, no incredulous or unsafe circumstance,-What can be said? Nothing, that can be, can come between me and the full prospect of my hopes. Well, Jove, not I, is the doer of this, and he is to be thanked. Enter Sir Andrew Ague-cheek. Fab. More matter for a May morning. Sir And. Ay, is it, I warrant him: do but read. Sir To. Give me. [reads.] Youth, whatsoever thou art, thou art but a scurvy fellow. Fab. Good, and valiant. Re-enter Maria, with Sir Toby Belch, and Fabian. sir? how is't with you, man? (1) Hot weather madness. (2) Caught her as a bird with birdlime. (3) Companion. Fab. A good note: that keeps you from the blow of the law. (4) Jolly cock, beau and coq. (5) A play among boys. (6) Colliers were accounted great cheats. Re-enter Sir Toby Belch, and Fabian. Sir To. Thou comest to the lady Olivia, and in A fiend, like thee, might bear my soul to hell. [Ex. my sight she uses thee kindly: but thou liest in thy throat, that is not the matter I challenge thee for. Fab. Very brief, and exceeding good sense-less. Sir To. I will way-lay thee going home; where if it be thy chance to kill me,—— Fab. Good. Sir To. Gentleman, God save thee. Sir To. That defence thou hast, betake thee Sir To. Thou killest me like a rogue and a villain. to't: of what nature the wrongs are thou hast Fab. Still you keep o' the windy side of the law: done him, I know not; but thy intercepter, full of despight, bloody as the hunter, attends thee at the preparation, for thy assailant is quick, skilful, and orchard end: dismount thy tuck, be yare in thy deadly Good. Sir To. Fare thee well; And God have mercy upon one of our souls! He may have mercy upon mine; but my hope is better, and so look to thyself. Thy friend, as thou usest him, and thy Andrew Ague-cheek. sworn enemy. Sir To. If this letter moves him not, his legs cannot: I'll giv't him. Mar. You may have very fit occasion for't; he is now in some commerce with my lady, and will by and by depart. Vio. You mistake, sir; I am sure, no man hath any quarrel to me; my remembrance is very free and clear from any image of offence done to any man. Sir To. You'll find it otherwise, I assure you: therefore, if you hold your life at any price, betake you to your guard; for your opposite hath in him what youth, strength, skill, and wrath, can furnish man withal. Vio. I pray you, sir, what is he? Sir To. Go, sir Andrew; scout me for him at the corner of the orchard, like a bum-bailiff: so Sir To. He is knight, dubbed with unhacked soon as ever thou seest him, draw; and as thou drawest, swear horrible; for it comes to pass oft, devil in private brawl: souls and bodies hath he rapier, and on carpet consideration; but he is a that a terrible oath, with a swaggering accent divorced three; and his incensement at this mosharply twanged off, gives manhood more appro- ment is so implacable, that satisfaction can be none bation than ever proof itself would have earned but by pangs of death and sepulchre: hob, nob, is him. Away. Sir And. Nay, let me alone for swearing. [Ex. his word; give't, or take't. Vio. I will return again into the house, and de Sir To. Now will not I deliver his letter: for the sire some conduct of the lady. I am no fighter. I behaviour of the young gentleman gives him out to be of good capacity and breeding; his employ-have heard of some kind of men, that put quarrels ment between his lord and my niece confirms no this is a man of that quirk.4 purposely on others, to taste their valour: belike, less; therefore this letter, being so excellently ig norant, will breed no terror in the youth, he will Sir To. Sir, no; his indignation derives itself find it comes from a clodpole. But, sir, I will de-out of a very competent injury; therefore, get you liver his challenge by word of mouth; set upon on, and give him his desire. Back you shall not to Ague-cheek a notable report of valour; and drive the house, unless you undertake that with me, which with as much safety you might answer him: the gentleman (as, I know, his youth will aptly receive it,) into a most hideous opinion of his rage, for meddle you must, that's certain, or forswear to therefore, on, or strip your sword stark naked; skill, fury, and impetuosity. This will so fright them both, that they will kill one another by the wear iron about you. look, like cockatrices. Enter Olivia and Viola. Fab. Here he comes with your niece: give them way, till he take leave, and presently after him. Sir To. I will meditate the while upon some horrid message for a challenge. [Exeunt Sir Toby, Fabian, and Maria. Vio. This is as uncivil, as strange. I beseech you, do me this courteous office, as to know of the knight what my offence to him is; it is something of my negligence, nothing of my purpose. Sir To. I will do so. Signior Fabian, stay you by this gentleman till my return. [Exit Sir Toby. Vio. Pray you, sir, do you know of this matter? Fab. I know, the knight is incensed against you, even to a mortal arbitrament; but nothing of the circumstance more. Vio. I beseech you, what manner of man is he? Fab. Nothing of that wonderful promise, to read him by his form, as you are like to find him in the proof of his valour. He is, indeed, sir, the most skilful, bloody, and fatal opposite that you could possibly have found in any part of Illyria: will you pic-walk towards him? I will make your peace with him, if I can. Vio. With the same 'haviour that your passion bears, Go on my master's griefs. Oli. Here, wear this jewel for me, 'tis my ture; Refuse it not, it hath no tongue to vex you: master. Vio. I shall be much bound to you for't: I am one, that would rather go with sir priest, than sir knight: I care not who knows so much of my mettle. [Exeuni. Re-enter Sir Toby, with Sir Andrew. Sir To. Why, man, he's a very devil; I have not seen such a virago. I had a pass with him, rapier, scabbard, and all, and he gives me the stuck-in," with such a mortal motion, that it is inevitable; and on the answer, he pays you as surely (7) Stoccata, an Italian term in fencing. as your feet hit the ground they step on: they say, he has been fencer to the Sophy. Sir And. Pox on't, I'll not meddle with him. Sir To. Ay, but he will not now be pacified: Fabian can scarce hold him yonder. What will you do? Now my necessity 2 Off. Come, sir, away. Ant. I must entreat of you some of that money. Sir And. Plague on't; an I thought he had been valiant, and so cunning in fence, I'd have seen him damned ere I'd have challenged him. Let him let the matter slip, and I'll give him my horse, grey For the fair kindness you have show'd me here, Capilet. And, part, being prompted by your present trouble, Sir To. I'll make the motion: stand here, make Out of my lean and low ability as I ride you. Re-enter Fabian and Viola. a good show on't; this shall end without the per- I'll lend you something: my having is not much; dition of souls: marry, I'll ride your horse as well I'll make division of my present with you: [Aside. Hold, there is half my coffer. Ant. Will you deny me now } Is't possible, that my deserts to you I have his horse [to Fab.] to take up the quarrel; Can lack persuasion? Do not tempt my misery, I have persuaded him, the youth's a devil. Lest that it make me so unsound a man, Fab. He is as horribly conceited' of him; and As to upbraid you with those kindnesses pants, and looks pale, as if a bear were at his That I have done for you. heels. Vio. I know of none; Sir To. There's no remedy, sir; he will fight Nor know I you by voice, or any feature: with you for his oath sake: marry, he hath better Than lying, vainness, babbling, drunkenness, I hate ingratitude more in a man, bethought him of his quarrel, and he finds that now Or any taint of vice, whose strong corruption scarce to be worth talking of: therefore draw, for the supportance of his vow; he protests, he will not our frail blood. hurt you. Vio. Pray God defend me! A little thing| would make me tell them how much I lack of a man. [Aside. Fab. Give ground, if you see him furious. Sir To. Come, sir Andrew, there's no remedy; the gentleman will, for his honour's sake, have one bout with you: he cannot by the duello avoid it; but he has promised me, as he is a gentleman and a soldier, he will not hurt you. Come on; to't. Sir And. Pray God, he keep his oath! Draws. Enter Antonio. Inhabits I Ant. O heavens themselves! snatch'd one half out of the jaws of death; 1 Off. What's that to us? The time goes by; away. Ant. But, O, how vile an idol proves this god!- 1 Of. The man grows mad; away with him. Come, come, sir. Ant. Lead me on. [Exe. Officers, with Antonio. That he believes himself; so do not I. Sir To. Come hither, knight; come hither, Fabian; we'll whisper o'er a couplet or two of most sage saws. Vio. He nam'd Sebastian; I my brother know Sir To. I'll be with you anon. [To Antonio. Vio. Pray, sir, put up your sword, if you please. [To Sir Andrew. Sir And. Marry, will I, sir?-and, for that I promised you, I'll be as good as my word: He Sir To. A very dishonest paltry boy, and more will bear you easily, and reins well. a coward than a hare: his dishonesty appears, in leaving his friend here in necessity, and denying him; and for his cowardship, ask Fabian. 1 Off. This is the man; do thy office. Ant. (1) Horrid conception. (3) Ornamented. Fab. A coward, a most devout coward, religious in it. Sir And. 'Slid, I'll after him again, and beat him. Sir To. Do, cuff him soundly, but never draw thy sword. Sir And. An I do not, Fab. Come, let's see the event. [Exit. Sir To. I dare lay any money, 'twill be nothing In this uncivil and unjust extent3 yet. ACT IV. [Exeunt. Against thy peace. Go with me to my house; SCENE I.-The street before Olivia's house. Clo. Will you make me believe, that I am not sent for you? Seb. Go to, go to, thou art a foolish fellow; Let me be clear of thee. Seb. What relish is in this? how runs the stream? Seb. Madam, I will. O, say so, and so be! [Exe. Clo. Well held out, i'faith! No, I do not know you; nor I am not sent to you by my lady, to bid you come speak with her; nor your name is not master Cesario; nor this is not my nose neither.- SCENE II.—A room in Olivia's house. Enter Nothing, that is so, is so. Seb. I pr'ythee, vent' thy folly somewhere else; thou know'st not me. Maria and Clown. Mar. Nay, I pr'ythee, put on this gown, and Clo. Vent my folly! he has heard that word of this beard; make him believe thou art sir Topas some great man, and now applies it to a fool. the curate; do it quickly: I'll call sir Toby the Vent my folly! I am afraid this great lubber, the whilst. Exit Maria. world, will prove a cockney.-I pr'ythee now, un- Clo. Well, I'll put it on, and I will dissembles gird thy strangeness, and tell me what I shall vent myself in't; and I would I were the first that ever to my lady; shall I vent to her, that thou art dissembled in such a gown. I am not fat enough coming? to become the function well; nor lean enough to be thought a good student; but to be said, an honest man, and a good housekeeper, goes as Clo. By my troth, thou hast an open hand:-fairly, as to say, a careful man, and a great scholar. The competitors" enter. These wise men, that give fools money, get themselves a good report after fourteen years' purchase. Seb. I pr'ythee, foolish Greek, depart from me; for you. Enter Sir Toby Belch and Maria. Enter Sir Andrew, Sir Toby, and Fabian. Sir And. Now, sir, have I met you again? there's Clo. Bonos dies, sir Toby: for as the old hermit [Striking Sebastian. of Prague, that never saw pen and ink, very witSeb. Why, there's for thee, and there, and there: tily said to a niece of king Gorboduc, That, that is, are all the people mad? Beating Sir Andrew. is so I, being master parson, am master parson; Sir To. Hold, sir, or I'll throw your dagger o'er for what is that, but that? and is, but is? Sir To. To him, sir Topas. the house. Clo. This will I tell my lady straight: I would not be in some of your coats for two-pence. [Exit Clown. Sir To. Come on, sir; hold. [Holding Seb. Sir And. Nay, let him alone, I'll go another way to work with him; I'll have an action of battery against him, if there be any law in Illyria: though! I struck him first, yet it's no matter for that. Seb. Let go thy hand. Sir To. Come, sir, I will not let you go. Come, my young soldier, put up your iron: you are well fleshed; come on. Seb. I will be free from thee. What would'st thou now? If thou dar'st tempt me further, draw thy sword. Oli. Hold, Toby; on thy life, I charge thee, hold. Oli. Will it be ever thus? Ungracious wretch, Be not offended, dear Cesario:- [Exeunt Sir Toby, Sir Andrew, and Fabian. Let thy fair wisdom, not thy passion, sway (1) Let out. (2) Rude fellow. (3) Violence Clo. What, hoa, I say,-Peace in this prison ! knave. Mal. [in an inner chamber.] Who calls there? Clo. Sir Topas, the curate, who comes to visit Malvolio the lunatic. Mal. Sir Topas, sir Topas, good sir Topas, go to my lady. Clo. Out, hyperbolical fiend! how vexest thou this man? talkest thou nothing but of ladies? Sir To. Well said, master parson. Mal. Sir Topas, never was man thus wronged!good sir Topas, do not think I am mad; they have laid me here in hideous darkness. Clo. Fie, thou dishonest Sathan! I call thee by the most modest terms: for I am one of those gentle ones, that will use the devil himself with courtesy: say'st thou, that house is dark? Mal. As hell, sir Topas. Clo. Why, it hath bay-windows, transparent as barricadoes, and the clear stones towards the southnorth are as lustrous as ebony; and yet complaines t thou of obstruction? Mal. I am not mad, sir Topas; I say to you, this house is dark. Clo. Madman, thou errest: I say, there is no darkness, but ignorance: in which thou art more puzzled, than the Egyptians in their fog. Mal. I say, this house is as dark as ignorance, though ignorance were as dark as hell; and I say, there was never man thus abused: I am no more (6) Disguise. (7) Confederates. |