sent for me, in order to offer me the hand of one or other of said ladies, with a situation in the custom house or excise.

Dinner at last appeared, and after it a bottle of wine, when the Squire relieved my anxiety by addressing me as follows. "Mr MacDominie, I have heard that you are a schollard, thoff I am no great judge of them kind of things. My natural son Horatio (a boy about five) I mean to place under your care. The ordinary schoolfees are 6s. a year, but I mean to allow you 10s. which, you know, is very handsome." I nodded assent. In continuation he informed me, that he had boarded him with an old woman within a few yards of my school, at 2s. per week. That his brother Billy's old clothes would serve him well enough, and that the cumulo expence of the boy might be about seven pounds per annum.

This important affair being set tled, he told me he wished to take my opinion on a matter of infinite importance, namely, the education of his son and heir Billy; and having descanted on the youth's great expectations, the antiquity and heroic deeds of his ancestors, &c, &c. asked me ingenuously what I would do, were I in his place? He made a solemn pause, and the ladies were all attention. If the boy were mine, said I, I would send him along with Horatio, and treat them exactly alike.

What a scene followed. The Squire was completely petrified, or rather horrified. Miss Jemima fainted. Miss Clementina's eyes reeled in her head. with indigna tion, and the other ladies quitted the room with precipitation. After this hurly burly was appeased, and Misses Jemima and Clementina had left us, the Squire told me, I had said a more impolite and improper thing, than ever proceeded

from a human mouth, adding, with uncommon emphasis, that it would be monstrously shocking to treat a legitimate like an illegitimate child.

Finding it needless to argue the matter farther, I told him he was the best judge, and could take his own way. I took my leave as soon as decency permitted. At the time appointed Horatio was sent to school, and by the time he was fourteen, had made himself master of all the inferior branches of education, necessary for business, besides a sufficient knowledge of the Greek and Roman classics. He was bound apprentice to a merchant of some eminence, who in process of time, gave him a 'small share of the concern, as a reward for his industry and honesty. From one step to another he gradually ascended, and at the age of forty had secured. a handsome competence with which he retired and purchased a small estate near the spot of his nativity. You would not imagine he had one drop of the blood of the Hopefuls in his veins, for he never seduced a female, broke a porter's head, demolished a lamp, fought a duel, or killed 4 fox in his life.

Our hero Billy was only three months younger than his illegitimate brother Horatio. From the great tenderness of his friends, and the infinity of different plans daily suggested for his polite and genteel education, he was allowed to gallop about, with a servant to attend him, till he was nine years old, before any thing decisive was resolved on. The sextumvirate (if I may use an Iricism) of ladies before mentioned, were so much attached to him, that they could not bear him out of their sight, and as they lived together in one house in the genteel town of where there was an academy, he was at last put under their charge. No

thing was omitted, which could contribute to his case or comfort. The warmest seat and the choicest morsel were always selected for him. Two chairmen were constantly in readiness to convey him to and from the academy, which stood at the distance of twelve yards. A servant carried his books, and a private tutor thought and studied for him. When there was the least cold or damp in the air, he was carefully kept at home; and even in summer, it was nothing uncommon to see him stuffed up in three pair of stockings, and half a dozen comforters.

Four years had now rolled on, whilst our hero, instead of making progress, had actually retrograded, in his studies. The least symptom of uneasiness on his part, was enough to throw the whole female sextumvirate into convulsions, and to this artifice our hero had recourse almost every hour of the day. It is recollected by some old people, that during the four years aforesaid, he ate ten thousand oranges, five thousand pounds of confectionaries, and was the terror of all the cats, kittens, lap dogs, and young children in the town.

At this period, a great and important crisis took place, in our hero's affairs. His father re-entered the holy state of matrimony, and his uncle in a month after also took unto himself a wife. Thus were our hero's prospects annihi lated at one blow. It now bêcame probable that, instead of being one of our hereditary Fox-hunters, and Legislators, he would be obliged To elbow his way in the world, among the industrious ranks of mankind, and it therefore became necessary to give him a substantial, rather than a polite education. The female sextumvirate now no longer looked on him as the prop and re presentative of the family; and could

hear him cough, without betraying. any symptom of uneasiness. The chairman, servant, and private tutor were dismissed; his pocket money was reduced from three guineas, to three shillings per week, and he was constrained to attend the academy regularly.

To any boy, but particularly to our hero, who was hardened in indulgence, dissipation and idleness, such a sudden change would have been insupportable; and he did not fail to resent it by every means in his power. He stole their prayer books, broke their tooth picks, burnt their wigs, demolished their spectacles, and fixed pins, and heckle-teeth in the cushions of the chairs, by which the posteriors of the whole sextumvirate were seriously injured. But his most notable manoeuvre was played off on Miss Jemima, into whose tobacco pipe he put a quantity of gun-powder, which exploded, and deprived her of the sight of the right eye, besides setting her head dress on fire, to the imminent danger of her life. Our hero was turned out of doors, where he collected à rabble of his worthless associates, broke every window in the house, and went directly home to complain to his father of the barbarous treatment he had received. But the fame of the transaction had gone before him, and his father very properly received him with a horsewhip, locked him up all night in the cellar, and set out next morning with him to an academy at the distance of 300 miles.

Young Billy had now attained his 14th year, and continued in this new situation till he had completed his 17th with as little effect as ever: when he returned home, he could do neither one thing nor other, and his father was totally at a loss how to act, when by acci dent he fell in with Mr MacSyco

phant,

phant, who undertook to complete his education in six months. This gentleman was famous for the politeness and rapidity of his method of education, and was besides one of the politest, best bred men liv ing. In the short space of time already specified, this gentleman, taught Billy, English, Latin, Greek, French and Italian, all with the English accent, Writing, Arithimo tic, Book-keeping, Euclid's Elements, genteel Geography, the projection of the Sphere, Mensuration of heights and distances, Geometry, Navigation, Algebra, Conic Sections, Astronomy, Hydrostatics, Hydraulics, Chemistry, Gunnery, Fortification, Fencing, Military and Naval Tactics, Dancing, and the Manual Exercise.

At the end of the six months, he accompanied Billy, to his father's house, and delivered him up a complete gentleman and scholar. His father at first seemed to doubt the flattering account, but Mr MacSycophant (like Tristram Shandy's bull,) put so grave a face on the matter, that it was impossible to doubt a word he said. The father was nearly as great a numskull as the son, and could not detect him; the son had more slyness than expose himself; and as no body else had any business to interfere, the matter passed current not only for a fact, but prodigy.

Our hero now made choice of the sea for his future destination, and spoke of killing Americans (for the American war had now broke out,) in thousands. He set out amply recommended to Admiral. then cruising off New York. The cutter which conveyed him, the third day after leaving Portsmouth, fell in with a French privateer, In the bustle preparatory to action, our here, through downright fear, leaped overboard unperceived by any body, but a large Newfoundland dog,

which plunged after him and literal ly saved his life. The privateer struck after the sixth broad side, and when the bustle was over, this faithful animal was seen swimming round the ship with Billy in his teeth, to the no small amusement of the sailors, who after laughing at him for some time, at last took him aboard. He offered them L.500 to return to an English port, but, as the vessel carried Government dispatches, this was impossible, bat they agreed for L.50, to put him aboard the first vessel they met bound for Britain, and the very next day he was sent on board a ship bound to London.

Af

He was now quite tired of a war like life, and wished to be Captain of a merchant vessel, to which, aế he had learned Navigation, there could be no possible objection, and his father got him appointed to the command of a ship of 200 tons; bound to Quebec, from Leith. ter taking in a sufficient quantity, of compasses, quadrants, telescopess azimuths, astrolabes, &c. they set sail, round the north of Scotland, but the first land our hero fetched was the Cape of Good Hope. Here the crew deserted the vessel, and becoming urgent for their wages, our young Navigator sold the ship and cargo to the highest bidder, Having paid the crew, they took their passage in a vessel bound to London, but our hero had formed the resolution of returning home overland, to avoid the dangers, and disasters of the tempestuous deep, Fully confident of his own abilities, he sent home to his father by one of the crew, his log book, and the following elegant letter.

Kap of Gud Hop 18th Guli 170077, Dir Feathar,

"Yu wil be gled to her, that I am saf aryved at the Kap of Gud Hop, whar I haf soled the sheep

and

and Kargu to the bist Edventige. Yu wil sea by mi Lug Buk, witch I haf sint by Tomas Gons mi Mat, that I prefurmed wunders. I sal citurn ovr land furst hopertunty, and akunt to yu for the nat porseeds of the Vasal and Kargu. Ekspektin to sea yu shun,

46

"I am, Dir Feather, Yur

"Efekshoned Sun,
"WILLM HOPEIL."

This polite epistle will be perfectly intelligible to such of your readers as have received a genteel education, though it may be totally above the comprehension of those who have been educated in the substantial and vulgar way. This lug buk, (as he calls it) was kept in the same polite style. I shall here, for the instruction of the polite part of your readers, make a few extracts from it.

Gurnal of a Vog from

Lith to

Kebek. "Gune 5d 170055. Salled from Lith with a fir wund. Gune 6t, at Nun, by absarfeshon fund wi wer in letude 67 dicrees, 9.5 minits north. Wund du Waist, Gune 7st paced the Pantalan Furth, wund Est and by Suth. Gune 8st, no absarfeshon. Sky cludi and havi shurs. Gune 9rd at Nun, ajustit the Kadrant, and Assimuth Kompace, fund the letude 70 dicrees, and 63 min its North Lonjetud 9 dicrees, 122 minits Est. &c. &c. &c."

No words can do justice to the emotions of the father on receipt of this letter, Three fifths of the ship and cargo belonged to the family of the Hopefuls, and as more than two years had elapsed since the ship was heard of, complete payment of both ship and cargo had been recovered from the underwriters, who now instituted a process for repayment, and obliged Billy's father to produce said letter

and log book, and obtained, a decree against the whale owners of the ship and cargo, with full expences of process.

Our hero's father was never less in humour with polite and gen teel education than at present. Had Mr MacSycophant fallen into his hands, he would certainly have torn him to atoms. Fortunately he was 70 miles distant; but the diploma he had given young Billy, along with a letter he had written his father, on his appointment to the ship, and in which he declared our hero as well qualified to be a Naval commander as any man in Europe, were produced before the Court.

Such a scene was never presented to any Judicature. Mr MacSycophant's character of our hero was in the most unqualified and hyperbolic strain of panegyric, whilst his letter and log book, spoke a very different language. Indeed our young naval commander kept such a journal as never had, and probably never will have, any parallel in Europe, for he often reckoned the easterly variation of the compass, as high as 395°.

As this truly laughable and ridicu lous scene was re-echoed, in the different newspapers from one end of the kingdom to the other, Mr MacSycophant thought it high time to decamp. Under pretence of bad health, he returned to his native country, France, having in the course of 10 years realized a fortune of L.15,000. It was discovered when too late, that his system of education was so rapid and genteel, that it could serve no earthly purpose whatever.

Qur hero being assured that Britain was an island, and that it was impossible to return to it by land, was very much at a loss how to act. He was at present in possession of about L.3,000 from the sale of the ship and cargo. He therefore de

termined