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the Lord is able to relieve the disconsolate soul, that is tossed with tempests, and driven to the ends of the earth. The meeting was wholly silent.
30. This month, bodily pains and severe spasms have been often attendant; “ the earthly house of this tabernacle" has been shaken growth in grace and goodness has been perceptibly experienced; satan having been at my right hand to resist me.
31. In the afternoon meeting at Hartford, former openings, which had been presented with freshness, were remembered; but they were as the manna of yesterday.
ELEVENTH MONTH, 1784.
6. My bodily health seems measurably recoVered, indispositions having been wonderfully suspended; but I have been greatly deficient in tribute of praise to the Preserver of men ; according to the import of that which is written, “ he that offereth praise, glorifięth me; and to him, who ordereth his conversation aright, will I shew of my salvation."
13. This week, “the fruits of righteousness have been measurably sown in peace.”
14. Although attended with various discouragements, I found an inclination to attend the forenoon meeting at Gracechurch-street; and, soon after sitting down, my mind was freed froni
dismay, and dipped into a fresh sense of that introversion and spiritual worship in self-nothingness and prostration, which we, as a people, peculiarly profess: sundry passages in holy writ, relative thereto, were livingly opened; and the exercise was continued through the course of the meeting, under divers testimonies, which were delivered. A sabbath day! a memorable day! some sense of divine favor presiding through the whole.
16. At Horslydown week-day meeting, I was measurably relieved, by a word internally imparted, and under the ministry of G. D.
28. A day of distress in the valley of vision, from my own unfitness to be unclothed of mortality. I was under great condemnation, because of " deeds done in the body,” particularly for the errors of advanced years; the too frequent prevalence of petulance, and the too great indulgence of my appetite in eating and drinking: errors overlooked and palliated by men, but marked by Him, “ whose eyes are as a flame of fire;" who “ searcheth the heart, and trieth the reins," and hath declared, If any man will be my disciple, " let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow me :” which following of the Son of Man in the regeneration, consists not only in suffering, for his sake, the reproach of men ; but also in the mortifi. cation of our propensities, in the things which may be esteemed lawful by men, but are condemned by Him, who seeth not as man seeth,
When I review my want of a due allegiance to the Saviour of men herein, my heart meditates terror, and my iniquities are a heavy burthen before him, who is a “just God and a Saviour;" who will not acquit the guilty, nor suffer sin to go unpunished.
TWELFTH MONTH, 1784.
4. This week, having been pretty much confined, by reason of a humour in my leg, I hope that, through the aboundings of divine grace, I have been measurably enabled to seek for that which I was concerned to recommend to others, the last time I appeared in public, viz. the seeking for heavenly “treasure in our earthen vessels.” I have also had an opportunity of being much exercised in reading the Holy Scriptures, and other pious and experimental treatises.. My present confinement is indeed a chastening not joyous, but yet to be received with thanksgiving, if in any degree it may be productive of the “ peaceable fruits of righteousness.” O! may I, as at the eleventh hour of the day, and during the present dispensation, be enabled more faithfully and fervently to feel after that salvation, which is only through Jesus Christ, the fountain set operi, for remission and sanctification, whose blood “cleanseth from all sin."
8. The great concern was measurably kept in
sight, with some liftings up of head towards the light of Israel, who can yet open a door of hope in the valley of the shadow of death.
13, 14, 15, and 16, Were spent in pain and lowness ; but not without some lookings to the great Physician of soul and body, “ who, himself, took our infirmities, and bare our sicknesses." The nights have been so exceedingly distressing, through acute pains of the rheumatism, that a religious exercise upon my bed has been impeded by them ; but however, “ to will has been present with me;" and the Lord is gracious to accept according to that which a man hath, even according to the ability which He affordeth, from whom every good gift cometh.
19. First day. Our well-beloved friends S. E. and G. D. having an evening meeting at Horslydown, although absent in body through indisposition, I was desirous of being present in spirit; in the invisible fellowship by which the children of God, however scattered abroad, are gathered together in one. The following portions of scripture were immediately opened, and impressed upon my mind, with a degree of strength and clearness, viz. “I will bring the blind by a way that they know not, and in paths which they have not known: I will make darkness light before them, and crooked things straight. These things will I do unto them, and not forsake them.” will go before thee, and break in pieces the gates of brass, and cut in sunder the bars of iron; and
I will give thee the treasures of darkness, and the hidden riches of secret places.” When barely read or repeated, how ineffectual are even the words contained in the bible; but when they are opened by their divine Original, they are as honey from the rock; yea, sweeter than the honey-comb.
This day I was informed of the decease of niy dear and worthy friend Thomas Hartley, who departed this life the roth instant. I had been personally acquainted with him for more than nine years: we were very dissimilar in our natural dispositions, and in our sentiments respecting various points; in others, we were firmly united; our union being more in the spirit, than the letter; the inward, than the outward. He was a man of unaffected piety, great sincerity, and exquisite sensibility ; deeply suffering under a sense of his own defects in particular, and of the depravily of fallen nature in the general; following a crucified Saviour in the regeneration, according to his measure: there is abundant cause for a comfortable hope, that he now rests from his labours,
" where the wicked cease from troubling, and the weary are at rest."
23. The awful declaration which was formerly pronounced, “I tell ye, I know ye not, whence ye are; depart from me all ye workers of iniquity,” being impressed on my mind, caused trembling of spirit.
25. The great mystery of godliness ought to be ever before us. This day, being set apart for