tremendous annunciation recorded in Holy writ; viz. "This night thy soul shall be required of thee." I have not been anxious to lay up treasure on earth, but too remiss in constantly seeking the riches and righteousness which comes by Christ Jesus. 31. In some degree, I was a companion with those who are looking up for redemption in Israel. NINTH MONTH, 1787. I. Great searchings of heart were attendant, in "the valley of the shadow of death." 6. In the evening, signifying to our friend Deborah Townsend, my intention and desire to have attended her and companions to the evening meeting, she replied, Meeting is every where; a plain saying, but faithful, and worthy of all ассерtation; according to that which is written, “Hear ye me, Asa, and all Judah and Benjamin, the Lord is with you, while ye be with him;" which gracious declaration was confirmed and enlarged, by the Legislator of the new covenant, saying, "Lo! I am with you always." 8. The necessity of the new birth was set before me, and its consisting in the love of God; according as it is written, "Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind, and with all thy strength." Men are naturally lovers of their own selves, following after pride, covetousness, the lust of their eyes, and the pride of life; and a final separation from those enjoyments, seems likely to prove their torment to all eternity: may those tremendous sensations be averted by the blood of the everlasting covenant, which "speaketh better things than that of Abel." This evening, about the sixth hour, departed my long acquainted friend and relative, J. Allis, senr. the acquaintance and frequent companion of my juvenile years. 13. Came from Tooley-street to Hartford. 14. When the rebellious servant of the Lord "went down to the bottoms of the mountains; the earth with her bars" seemed to inclose him for ever; and when the apostle Paul was supposed to have been overtaken by the avenger of blood, the Lord magnified his power in their deliverance. Arise, O Lord! "I beseech thee," and the ark of thy strength; subdue principalities and powers, "touch the mountains" that they may smoke, and cause the hills to flow down at thy presence, that the horn of thy salvation may cast all iniquity into the depths of the sea; "for thine is the kingdom, and the power and the glory for ever" and ever. Amen. 16. I went once more to the forenoon meeting at Hartford, in great weakness of body, and abased in spirit, like unto him who lifted not up his eyes to heaven, "but smote upon his breast." After I had sat a while I felt, or at least thought I felt, somewhat of the consolations which are in Christ Jesus; and the goodwill of him who dwelt in the bush, when the bush burned and was not consumed, to be extended to those present; not only to the weak and depressed in spirit, but also to the stout-hearted, who were far from righteousness. A freedom and a seeming impulse, seemed likewise to attend, to call all present to look to the Lord Jesus Christ, who trod "the wine press alone," who suffered for our sins without the gates of Jerusalem, and who is the light and life within. I went after dinner to Hitchin, and attended the quarterly meeting of ministers and elders; I experienced a degree of strength to be renewed both inwardly and outwardly: the meeting was large and solid; M. P. had a lively allusion in her testimony, to the men who formerly pressed through the host of the Philistines, to draw water from the well of Bethlehem: a sublime oriental narrative, replete with spiritual and mystical instructions in righteousness. 17. I sat in the quarterly meeting at the outskirts, but was in some degree a participant of that silence, which as a canopy, seemed to cover that numerous assembly; I seemed also to be favored with some sense of that illimitable compassion, which causes the sun to shine on the just and the unjust, and the rain to descend on the righteous and the wicked. 18. In the evening meeting at Baldock I was favored with some sense of that love, which is stronger than death. Sarah Crawley only appeared in testimony. 19. In the week-day meeting, Samuel Spavold having appeared in testimony, a few words were added, concerning "the Captain of the Lord's host;" Christ Jesus, "the same yesterday, to-day, and for ever." 23. Came in the afternoon from Hitchin to Hartford. 26. In the evening, after the reading some religious letters, I was suddenly recollected, with some views towards Him, with whom nothing is impossible; by whom sometimes, when every refuge has failed, "the valley of Achor" becomes "a door of hope;" and those gracious purposes brought to pass almost instantaneously, which have been unsuccessfully sought for, during the greatest part of a man's life. This remark may appear rather calvinistical; but it is consistent with the analogy of faith, declaratory of omnipotential benevolence, and untainted with the errors of John Calvin. 29. I was exercised in striving against sin. This week I have heard a narrative of interesting and remarkable occurrences in the life of ******** containing many stupendous displays of divine grace and providence, in his preservation from death and hell. The Lord "speaketh once, yea, twice, in a dream, in a vision of the night;" when men appear to be sleeping the sleep of death, he then sealeth those instructions which are the way to life; but they rebel against Him. Our author being early favored with convictions of sin, and incitements to religion and righteousness, erroneously supposed them to be the dictates of a natural conscience. If any thing inferior to the spirit of the Redeemer effectually reproves for sin, "satan is divided against himself:" it is only the spirit of Christ that "convinces the world of sin, of righteousness, and of judgment." Sound therefore, and consonant with the analysis of gospel faith, were the testimonies of George Fox and Robert Barclay, to the Lord Jesus Christ; as "the light of life;" and only "true light, which lighteth every man that cometh into the world." 30. In the forenoon meeting, various vague openings passed my mind in swift succession; but I was preserved in silence, and not without some true travail after the real substance, both for myself, and on behalf of those present. Afterwards, divers adverse occurrences attended: I was wanting in patience. TENTH MONTH, 1787. 3. On the 3d of 10th month, 1754, I was married to my dear wife, who has ever since been my faithful and constant companion: Almighty goodness has blessed us with a due proportion of "the fatness of the earth," and what is infinitely |
