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abandoned by society—so, in a moral, it is right that villany should te duped by its own miserable accomplice.
Lewis, Quick, Munden, and Fawceti, were the principal actors that first introduced this comedy to the town. The grave has closed over the matchless Lewis—our facetious friend and neighbour, Quick, though alive and merry, is theatrically dead-Munden is also in retirement—but Fawcett continues on the stage, where, for the sake of comedy, we hope he will long remain. Still, while Rostrum is played by Elliston, and Plethora by Harley, we cannot want entertainment. The days of Old Covent Garden have well nigh spoiled us-lo see every character ably sustained was then consi. dered no phenomenon. We are now thankful if an entire play be not altogether burlesqued-we Jaud the gods if one decent actor deign to appear during the five acts—but if two, the spectator" Blesses his stars, and thinks it luxury."
The Conductors of this work print no Plays but those which they have seen acted. The Stage Directions are given from their own personal observations, during the most recent performances.
EXITS and ENTRANCES. R. means Right ; L. Left ; D. F. Door in Flat ; R. D. Right Door ; L. D. Left Door; S. E. Second Entrance; U. E. Upper Entrance ; M. D. Middle Door.
RELATIVE POSITIONS R. means Right ; L. Left; C Centre ; R. C. Right of Centre; Le C. Left of Centre. R. RC. C. LC.
The Reader is supposed to be on the Stage, facing the Awlience.
GREVILLE.- A fashionable full-suit of black.
ROSTRUM.-Light green coat-white waistcoat-tight buff pan. taloons-shoes-hat.
UNDERMINE.-Old-fashioned rich velvet embroidered suitruffles-shoes and buckles, &c.
APRIL.-Brown coat-red waistcoat-leather breeches-top-boots -clerical hat.
NICHOLAS.-A mean gray cloth suit—white worsted stockings shoes and buckles-gray hair-hat.
PLETHORA.-Green Jerry coat-buff waistcoat--white breeches -shoes-top-boots-fashionable hat.
VALET, BUTLER, COOK, and COACHMAN.-In suits of black, with black shoulder-knots-black worsted stockings and shoes.
MRS. GREVILLE.-Full suit of fashionable black-black bonnet.
ROSE.-First dress: Green pelisse—hat and feathers.--Second dress : White muslin gown and broad sash.
SALLY.-Black gown and petticoat-mob-cap-straw gipsy-bat, with black ribands--white handkerchief-white muslin apron-black mitts.
Cast of the Characters, as Performed at the Theatres Royal,
SECRETS WORTH KNOWING.
SCENE I.--An Apartment in Greville's House Table,
and Four Chairs.-Servants without, talking, R. Enter VALET, Cook, BUTLER, COACHMAN, and FootMEN.
Val. (c.) Silence, I say! Why, you keep as loud a gabbling as if you were settling the balance of Europe in the lobby of the House of Commons. Order, I say— the question is this: our old master being dead, and our young one expected every moment from abroad, ought we, when he arrives, to laugh or cry? Hear the Cook !
Cook. (L.) Why, I'thinks, that for the death of an old master, a little dripping from the eyes would be quite natural.
Val. It may be natural, master Cook; but lord bless you, the genteel feel of your tip-top folks, is no more like nature, than one of your fine kabobbed fricassees is to plain roast and taties. Besides, when a man leaves behind him a good ten thousand a year, I think it quite natural for the heir to laugh. What say you, Coachy?
Coa. (L. c.) I pulls with you, Mr. Valet-young master must in the main be glad, for we all know that the old gemman, seeing that he 'run skittish, kept him upon low provender beyond sea. So my verdict is, Mr. Butler, that we all smiles agreeably.
But. (R. C.) So say I. Dam'me, I'll look as pleased as Punch, ha! ha!
Val. Softly. And will you, sir, who have but thirty pounds a-year, dare to be as pleased at seeing your master, as I, who have fifty? No, no-subordination is everything.
Coa. Ecod, the best reason we should not be sorry, is that the old buck left us no legacies.
Val. That settles it. [Al laugh, a knocking at the door, ..) Here he comes—I'm to look most pleased,
and stand in the front. Back a little, Coachy, and remember I am to speak.
Enter MR. and Mrs. GREVILLE, L.
Gre. Is it thus you honour the memory of your departed master? My love, welcome to England, and to my father's house. If I can trust my heart, the greatest happiness I shall feel from prosperity (should it await us), will be in placing my Maria in the elevated station her virtues will illumine. Enter SALLY, L., in a travelling dress, speaks as she enters.
Sal. Travelling indeed ! nothing but extortion, I declare_Such a gang of them ! first, in comes the bill ; then, remember the waiter-John Ostler, sir—the chambermaid, ma'am-don't forget poor boots—I am the porter—the post-boy, your honour-so that your hand keeps constantly moving up and down, up and down, like the great lump of wood at Chelsea waterworks. (The Ser. vants nod and wink to her.) What are you all nodding and winking at? Why don't you set chairs ? [Servants set chairs.] Now, go along all of you, and see the luggage unpacked. (Servants surprised.] Why don't you go?
[Greville waves his hand, Val. To be ordered about by such a dowdy! My dear coachy, this will never do for us. [Exeunt Servants, L.
Sal. (L.) A parcel of lazy chaps, I dare say—but I'll make them stir their stumps. Well, here we are at last. Oh gemini gig! how my poor bones do ache!
Mrs. G. (c.) My Greville, excuse her familiarity-she has lived with me from my infancy, and is, indeed, a faithful, affectionate creature. Sal. Aye, that I am. Oh, bless its pretty face !
[Patting her mistress's cheek. Mrs. G. Leave us, good Sally. Sal. Leave you? Mrs. G. Yes.
Sal. Well, I will. I am a foolish, good-natured-I'll go and scold the servants.
[Exit Sally, L. Mrs. G. You look uneasy,
Charles. Gre. (R.) 'Tis for thy sake, Maria. Between hope and fear, my mind is tortured: when I reflect on my father's determined, but just resentment, at my dissipated con. duct while in England-so determined, that I dared not acquaint him of my union with my adored Maria—then
I fear that he died without blessing me, and has estranged me from his house and fortune. When I reflect that I am perhaps destitute of the means of supporting thee--surrounded by creditors.
[A knocking at the door, L.
Enter SALLY, L. Sal. Oh! master, here is such a frightful old fellow wants to speak with you. Such a–0 lord ! here he is. Enter NICHOLAS, L., his face wrinkled, hollow cheeks, and
every exhibition of dolefulness, age, and decrepitude. Gre. (c.) Your name, friend, and business ?
Nic. (L. C.) Sir, my name is—so there is a lady in the case-my name, sir, is Nicholas Rue, and my business will be explained by this letter. [Greville reads the letter, and seems elated with pleasure.] Now to have a peep. [Puts on his spectacles.) Eh! as I hope to live these fifty years—Miss Egerton! How my master will be surprised !
Gre. What happy tidings! present my best respects to your master-I will wait on him immediately.
Nic. Very well, sir. How my master will be surprised!
[Exit, L. Gre. This letter, Maria, is from my father's executor.
[Reads. Sir, as executor to my dear departed friend, Mr. Greville, I have to inform you, his will leaves you, conditionally, his sole heir.”
Sal. (R.) He! he! how happy I am !
Sal. (Pouting. ] Tolerable indeed! Oh, Mr. Egerton, her noble brother, behaved different: he never thought me tolerable.
Mrs. G. (R.C.) For shame, Sally!
Sal. And so it is a shame that a poor servant should be out of her wits for joy at hearing her dear lady's good fortune? Sir, I has as much right to be happy as you has, and I will be happy, though you make me cry all day for it.
Gre. Well, well-loving Maria atones for a thousand faults.
Sal. [Significantly.] Ha! he! perhaps this is as lucky for Mr. Somebody, as for Sally Downright.
Mrs. G. Dear Sally !